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Can you describe the INTJ teenage female? age, females, gender
Old 02-07-2009, 08:05 PM   #1
cah1812
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I just read through the "Can you describe the INTJ teenage male?" thread and I was surprised by how most of them described themselves. Now I not so sure I am a INTJ. What differences can you see between the INTJ teenage male and female?

I know I am not violent, very rude or sarcastic, not late for class, don't do drugs, and don't usually confront authority at school.(some common things i saw in the other thread)

I do however like to read, don't like or know how to make small talk, walk fast even if Im not in a hurry, want to and like to excel at school, and I also push my self to do things that make me uncomfortable(marching band, student council,etc)

To other females do these things describe you as a teen also or might I be a different "type"?
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Old 02-07-2009, 08:27 PM   #2
rara avis
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I was more of an INTP as a teenager, probably with occasional F flurries in my early teens.

I spent a lot of time reading, drawing, painting, sulking - solitary activities - but I felt more compelled then to try to keep up socially than I have since. Being immersed in the kind of interpersonal contact that's fostered in school left me really puzzled by myself and the way I saw things, but I had friends, I did stuff with them occasionally... I remember the summer after Junior year was actually pretty fun, that way.

I was not often in trouble, since I tend to go around instead of through roadblocks... and wasn't all that interested in hellraising, anyway. I was constantly late for classes, and missed assignments all the time. I did used to race cars on a very windy hill. Oh, and I started tinkering with smoking- tobacco and pot, just a little. But I was a Good Kid - the times when I was overtly disrespectful to an adult were few. (Though they do make for funny stories, now.)

I was anxious, and thoughtful, and a little strange. Same as now, but the strangeness was more noticeable then.

Used to sometimes just walk home when I was supposed to be in class. I had kind of a different arrangement, though, so it wasn't as big a deal; I got my GED when I was 16 but stayed to take whatever classes I felt interested in. I was absolutely unconcerned about my GPA - I think my last one on record was about 1.75.

I had a LOT more drama in me then. But it was justified, it was freaking hard trying to understand what I ought to do, when what everyone else around me seemed to want made no sense to me. Really having to make things up for yourself is tough.
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Old 02-07-2009, 08:41 PM   #3
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i was rude, bunked of school, frustrated, under achieved, day dreamy and very very hard to engage with. i had very little connections, if not none at all. these are the things, i believe people seen of me, if they at all noticed me.

i however liked to sing in my room. i like to play my keyboard and make songs up. i loved to read myself to sleep. i loved dancing and i loved to draw. i would do all these things without another soul on the planet knowing or taking any interest in the fact i done these things. i loved dreaming and at one stage believed it to be better than being awake. i constantly felt constricted by circumstances. i felt trapped by other peoples expectations. i never felt in charge of my life. this being a skill i had to teach myself.
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Old 02-07-2009, 08:59 PM   #4
une fille
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I tested as an INTP during my earlier teens, like rara avis. I think being around so many people I didn't relate to beat my J into submission for quite some time, until I became more comfortable with myself. Being a female with the INTJ personality preference isn't all that easy, especially when being forced into the awful world of high school.

During school, I was extremely quiet and I did very well in my classes. I was rarely late and only rude to authority figures when they disrespected me in ways I found inexcusable. I've always been extremely sarcastic, so we differ in that respect, but I tried to hold my tongue for the most part. I was involved in a few activities, but never felt too attached to the organizations or fellow members.


In regards to comparing yourself to INTJ males, note that most males are pushed to become xxTJ's by society, whereas females are pushed in the exact opposite direction (at least in the U.S., from what I've seen.) Males in the high school age group are also naturally more aggressive, and that J helps the testosterone out a bit.

You may mature into a different "type," or you may just have weaker preferences, perhaps. As I said earlier, I tested as a different type before, and I still have a weaker TJ.
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Old 02-07-2009, 11:21 PM   #5
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As a teen I was weird, dorky, very internal... found it impossible to express myself to others, and usually didn't want to... I was never particularly rude or rebellious, unless you consider near-total withdrawal from the world to be those things.
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Old 02-08-2009, 12:12 AM   #6
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I don't think that I was an INTJ as a teenager. I was an INxx. When I was 19 I was an INFJ, then at 22 I was INFP, then at 27 INTP, then at 29 INTJ. I was scared of being J because my mom is an SJ and I was denial for quite a while till I took the test the last time and came out half and half J/P.

I behaved as an "I" most definitely- I had few friends and never EVER hung out with friends after school or on weekends. I was happy to chill at home on Friday nights at home and watch TV. I often admired the extroverts in my classes but was waaay to shy to speak in class or purposely draw attention to myself. I enjoyed my alone time reading or drawing very much.

I guess I behaved as an "N"... I'm not really sure. I know that I have a bad sense of direction and get lost alot from learning how to drive...and I could never get those measurements JUST right in chemistry class but i was always the first to finish a test because N's don't have to re-read questions and I enjoyed poetry and metaphors in English class. I didn't think about it much back then.

I think I wanted to be a T, I just didn't know how. I didn't know any "T" girls or women- just F's. Girls who weren't nice or who argued or talked back were seen as tough and a *B* word. I also felt ALOT of pressure to be an F by society- i didn't discover I was a "T" until I was about 25 or 26. I listened to a radio show hosted by a "Dr. Laura" and felt drawn to her no-nonsense style of communication and reasoning. The more I listened, the more i felt that this is how I was- at my best- if I had the guts to let myself be "me".

I am half J/P. I remember in 9th grade we got a empty schedule and we were supposed to fill in what we did every day for week as an exercise. I liked filling out the schedule for my school day- I wished it had been more organized in that we would have had strict times for socializing or none at all would have been nice. But when it came to my time after school and on the weekends, I just put "free time". My free time is very important to me becuase that's my private time and it's my own business what I do or don't do in that time. what i do depends on what mood I'm in, and I never know, so I don't like to make plans or have other people make demands on me during that time.
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Old 02-08-2009, 12:47 AM   #7
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I've tested INTJ since Junior High so it's safe to say I was an INTJ teenage girl. It was not easy. I was very quiet. I spent most of my time reading, writing and muttering to myself about how stupid and irrational all the people in my life were. I wasn't at all confrontational and preferred to be in the background and ignored. It made things easier because I carried a general disdain for people and everyone seemed incapable of taking care of themselves. I also hated other people seeing I was having problems because I was constantly trying to 'fix' them.

I never go into trouble. Even if I did something that should have gotten me into trouble I got away with whatever it was simply because I wasn't usually a trouble maker. I simultaneously cared too much and didn't care at all whether I was doing what I was supposed to. One day I would have a panic attack because a friend took my history book and I wouldn't be able to take it to class and the next I'd walk into history, look my teacher in the eye, tell him not to mark me absent but I wasn't coming to class, walk out, and spend the period on the baseball field talking to a friend. I definitely had issues with needing to feel in control and I was a very anxious person.

There were two main sides to my personality and most people knew one side, my friends knew both. Despite whatever inner turmoil I was experiencing, and their was a lot, I never let my guard down around people and spent my entire high school life as 'the cute one'. I was the 'teddy bear' who could be picked up, carried around, or cuddled at anytime by anyone in my circle of friends. On the other hand I was also known as the 'battle dwarf' because I had violent tendencies and acted out on them for the fun of it.

I'm not too aware of what people thought of me in high school. I didn't really care or pay attention to other people but from what I've been told I was seen as the small, smart, and quiet one that was really cute but kind of scary and intimidating.
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Old 02-08-2009, 01:25 AM   #8
blatant
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i behaved the same as the OP, basically. Quiet, studious, kind of mean...

I still am that way, except for less studious because academia has broken my trust.
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Old 02-08-2009, 01:32 AM   #9
AliTree
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blunt, jaded, bitter, sarcastic, dry, dark, weird.
that's how i would describe myself, at least.
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Old 02-08-2009, 02:02 AM   #10
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  Originally Posted by cah1812
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I do however like to read, don't like or know how to make small talk, walk fast even if Im not in a hurry, want to and like to excel at school, and I also push my self to do things that make me uncomfortable(marching band, student council,etc)

Same. I'm known as blunt but incredibly sweet in school; I have INFJ tendencies when I'm around acquaintances. Most of the time people see me as that little quiet girl who loves making friends with the teacher, and whenever she does decide to talk something witty or sarcastic comes out of her mouth. I care about my grades and school a lot. I've been called prude countless of times due to my attitude toward the opposite sex and dating; questioned about my fashion statements (who cares if I wear my dad's sweater vests, it's all about being comfortable and warm!). Don't really care for my health, known for not sleeping for hours on end and not eating because "I forget and have more important things to do". Very geeky and tend to be the one that people go to for advice...still a teenager, so I might change.

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Old 02-08-2009, 11:25 PM   #11
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I don't think there are very many obvious differences between the teenage INTJ and the male. No one matches every description, as everyone is unique.
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Old 02-09-2009, 12:31 AM   #12
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hmm let's see...
I was witty and sarcastic, I had only few friends, liked to read alot and mostly kept to myself. According to my friends I was also very scary, mainly because I rarely showed any emotions. Actually they joked that I had only three facial expressions: angry, really angry and "If you come any closer I will kill you." (in INTJ language I guess it'd go: normal, slightly annoyed, angry)

When we were hanging out at weekends, I was always the person whose responsibility was to make a plan/figure out how all get back home from place X, and also safeguarding the taxi/bus money and friends house keys.
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Old 02-09-2009, 08:40 AM   #13
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I can't speak for the teenage female in general, but I know what I was like as a teenager:

Not very teenaged! My Mum says I never rebelled or caused any trouble or worry. I loved school, but hated that I had to attend school with other people. I was bullied and teased quite a lot, probably because I was a bit of a know-it-all. I was very practical and responsible, a good all-rounder but especially good at English, languages and chemistry. I liked creative subjects. I had one close friend, who had an awful lot of friends that let me tag along with them. I had my first boyfriend when I was sixteen, and we had a very sexual relationship. My mother claims that I was so pleased when a boy took any notice of me that I'd drop everything to follow him blindly. From my own perspective, I chose my men very carefully based on who was a good friend, and was loyal to them until they figured out I liked them. I met my husband when I was sixteen. I preferred the company of people older than me, though this can easily be explained by the fact I am the youngest and was close to my significantly-older siblings. I never liked conflict (still don't) or violence, very VERY rarely challenged authority, and when I did it would be to stick up for people or causes other than myself.

Hope this helps
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I believe I've always been INTJ -- very little has happened to change me since I was a teenager, except being influenced by my husband's more contravercial political views. But then, I was brought up by rather contravercial parents so, again, nothing new.
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Old 02-09-2009, 04:27 PM   #14
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  Originally Posted by naughtysnail
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I loved school, but hated that I had to attend school with other people.

Same here! I was also very competitive with regards to academics and it was a huge motivation to get better grades than the bullies.

I guess most INTJ girls are not much different from INTJ guys, but others find it more acceptable for guys to be INTJ than for girls.

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Old 02-09-2009, 05:50 PM   #15
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It is my observation that, especially younger, INTJ females tend to either appear in the classical INTJ image, or wear an overelaborate mask, which on the surface seems about as ESFP as possible.
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Old 02-10-2009, 08:12 PM   #16
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I was very studious. I loved school and learning and was in all advanced classes and got top grades -partly because I liked to learn, partly because the public system makes it easy to get good grades, and partly because I'm competitive. I wanted to go to college, and grades mattered for that.

I didn't consider myself "rebellious" in that I never openly insulted teachers or didn't do things just because I didn't want to. I saw the value of the school system and saw no reason to raise hell just to cause some poor government wage earner trouble. I had plenty of teachers I didn't like or thought did a poor job teaching, but geez, you're only in each class for an hour a day, who cares? I did have a few "disagreements" with some teachers, but I always spoke tactfully - actually today I might have been a bit more aggressive. But really, most of my teachers I liked, so there was no reason to rebel.

I loved to read - a lot. I had a small group of friends I hung out with, but didn't attend huge parties or run for prom queen. I was on the debate team and really loved it. I don't think I was much different than I am now, except maybe not as sure as myself nor as developed mentally. I guess I was a nerd, but I wasn't made fun of by the "popular" kids or anything like that. Actually, the popular kids were pretty nice to me. I didn't dress outlandishly weird (I didn't need the attention). I did like to dress a little unconventionally and didn't care for trends, but not anything off the wall . I didn't have time for high school "clicks" (goths, skaters, punks, preps, etc.). I went to school, conversed with a few friends, went to class and went home. On the weekends, I had a group of friends that got together on Fridays to play board games and watch movies. Sometimes we played ping pong or swam. Gee, I sound sort of boring. Oh well, I had fun.
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Old 02-12-2009, 12:19 AM   #17
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I was a lot like an INFJ when I was a teenager, or maybe a P. Not sure.

In any case I was VERY religious (but I did logically analyze all facets of theology to find the "best" belief), captured by beauty so I occasionally tried to paint and write poetry, obsessed with writing and taping home videos, not overly studious as I tended to procrastinate (I was homeschooled though), researched some VERY dorky and obscure topics on the internet, and thought about sex a LOT.

My only social interaction was from church... I was liked for the most part, but never fit in to the main clique of teenagers. I hung out with another "misfit" introverted girl. It seems I always hung out with the misfits.
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Old 02-12-2009, 01:48 AM   #18
mayumi
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I hung out with bookish people, because we traded books. Quiet, sometimes good at school, but mostly not. But I graduated and had grades good enough to get into a good college. Never actually studied.

Mostly bored in HS.



I think I was also teased but I didn't notice much.
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Old 02-12-2009, 05:53 AM   #19
Frag
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  Originally Posted by Deliberator
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I was a lot like an INFJ when I was a teenager, or maybe a P. Not sure.

In any case I was VERY religious (but I did logically analyze all facets of theology to find the "best" belief), captured by beauty so I occasionally tried to paint and write poetry, obsessed with writing and taping home videos

This is interesting in light of some other recent threads... was it more symbolic beauty or ...er.. peopley/flowery ...?

(there is probably a better descriptor for that, I just don't know one)

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Old 02-12-2009, 11:08 AM   #20
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My oldest daughter is an INTJ. She is 25 now, but I recall that she was stubborn, tended to be terse in her communication, and was great fun when she wanted to be.
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Old 02-12-2009, 12:29 PM   #21
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  Originally Posted by Frag
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This is interesting in light of some other recent threads... was it more symbolic beauty or ...er.. peopley/flowery ...?

(there is probably a better descriptor for that, I just don't know one)

Symbolic beauty, usually through religion, and the beauty in nature mostly. I mean, nature still is quite beautiful to me, it just doesn't inspire me to want to write poetry about it (I realize after all this time that I don't really like poetry much).

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Old 02-13-2009, 05:47 PM   #22
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I tested as an INTJ as a teenager and I remember being perceived as brilliant, arrogant and haughty. I placed most of my pride in my intelligence and did my best to display it to the point of being called a "know-it-all".

I had very little use for people who played the high school games of "let's ridicule whoever's different" and "my parents have money so I'm better than you" and I wasn't shy at all about letting them know how pathetic they were when they attempted it on me. My tongue was sharp and merciless and I left more than one classmate in tears when he or she was trying to build up his or her self-esteem at the price of another.

I detested large gatherings of people - they sapped my energy and the mob mentality made me very nervous. I liked going to dances, though, because I loved music and it was a quality outlet for any excess energy I had. I also indulged in photography and yearbook editing - I liked the experienced of cropping the pictures just so and composing the perfect blend of images.

I was known as an "ice queen", but I was warm with people who I knew loved and accepted me and didn't need to play games to cover their insecurities. I chose to associate with people based on their integrity - I felt they could be trusted to do the right thing in a crunch. I had no use for flattery, game-playing or sentimental mushiness if the person who was expressing it had no substance.

I was very lonely. I thought there was something wrong with me - why didn't I want to conform or go along with the way things were? Mainly because I felt like something in my soul would be violated in the process of attempting to "whore" myself for acceptance.

I was also deeply romantic and secretly hopeful that someone would perceive the soft-hearted girl underneaths my prickly exterior, though I was terrified that the wrong person would see this and attempt to manipulate me or ridicule me for it.

The worst thing about being an INTJ as a teenager was that I was a roiling, seething cauldron of emotion. Logic was the only solace and comfort I could find. My heart might have been ready to leap out of my chest if that certain someone passed my way, but my head told me that the someone in question would most likely make fun of me so I pushed my emotions aside and did what I thought was the intelligent thing: I kept quiet and poured it all out into my writing. Working with words to perfect the experience of the myriad of crushes I experienced throughout my teenage years did wonders for my skills, even if it didn't lead to emotional fulfillment.

The best thing about being an INTJ as a teenager was that I had enough self-esteem to never sacrifice my personal integrity to any form of peer pressure.
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Old 02-14-2009, 12:11 PM   #23
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Technically, I am still a teenager. I did go through the entire “teenage angst” stage a couple of years ago. It was horrible– the emotions I felt were toxic and served only to drain me. My academics dipped considerably, and my friends figured that something was wrong with me, although they could not pinpoint the problem, as (other than the more apparent fatigue aside) I seemed fine. I put in a brave front and did my best to remain in control, although I was an emotional wreck. That being said, that stage passed after several months, and I emerged much stronger after that.

I never saw the need to rebel. It is partly because my parents imposed no discipline on me at all. They figured that a good way for me to learn was to make my own mistakes, a method which somewhat backfired, taking that I never saw the need to make those mistakes anyway. I also viewed peer pressure as being idiotic –doing certain actions simply to gain acceptance makes absolutely no sense to me.

I am studious. I like attending my lectures and tutorials, I love completing my homework ahead of time, reading beyond the boundaries of what I am expected to know, and so on. I am not competitive, but I always want to get excellent grades because I know it is within my capacity to do brilliantly, and I am extremely disappointed if I do not meet my high standards for academics.

My peers tend to see me as an extremely mature and confident person, and they often come to me for advice. I have been told that I am quite intimidating, although this will usually cease once people get to know me better.

I am very thankful for the fact that I am in a relatively small class (around 20 people), in which all of my classmates are genuinely nice and accept me for who I am. It is one of the main reasons as to why I love my current school and am enjoying myself very much at this point of time.

This is off topic, but I noticed that a few INTJs were previously tested as INTPs. I am quite sure that I was an INTP before I became a teenager, perhaps the INTP to INTJ progression is a trend of some sort?
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Old 02-14-2009, 04:27 PM   #24
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I know I am not violent, very rude or sarcastic, not late for class, don't do drugs, and don't usually confront authority at school.(some common things i saw in the other thread)

I do however like to read, don't like or know how to make small talk, walk fast even if Im not in a hurry, want to and like to excel at school, and I also push my self to do things that make me uncomfortable(marching band, student council,etc)

Yes on first paragraph, meaning I was rude, sarcastic, late for class, etc. Yes on second paragraph, excepting such horribly social endeavors such as marching band or student council.

I was flat out antisocial back then. Not just withdrawn or asocial, but antisocial.

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Old 02-15-2009, 01:04 PM   #25
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  Originally Posted by greenowl99
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I tested as an INTJ as a teenager and I remember being perceived as brilliant, arrogant and haughty. I placed most of my pride in my intelligence and did my best to display it to the point of being called a "know-it-all".

I was very lonely. I thought there was something wrong with me - why didn't I want to conform or go along with the way things were? Mainly because I felt like something in my soul would be violated in the process of attempting to "whore" myself for acceptance.

I was also deeply romantic and secretly hopeful that someone would perceive the soft-hearted girl underneaths my prickly exterior, though I was terrified that the wrong person would see this and attempt to manipulate me or ridicule me for it.

The worst thing about being an INTJ as a teenager was that I was a roiling, seething cauldron of emotion. Logic was the only solace and comfort I could find. My heart might have been ready to leap out of my chest if that certain someone passed my way, but my head told me that the someone in question would most likely make fun of me so I pushed my emotions aside and did what I thought was the intelligent thing: I kept quiet and poured it all out into my writing. Working with words to perfect the experience of the myriad of crushes I experienced throughout my teenage years did wonders for my skills, even if it didn't lead to emotional fulfillment.

I was much like this, only unlike you I did eventually sacrifice part of myself for the sake of human contact. I had only one friend most of the time, and she only had me as a friend. To get along with her I had to suppress the fact that I was obviously more intelligent than she. She still thought of me as a haughty know-it-all even though I shot myself down all the time to prove to her that I wasn't.

And I was also terribly lonely and horny and romantic. God, I'm so glad those days are over!

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