Welcome to INTJ Forum

This is a community where INTJs can meet others with similar personalities and discuss a wide variety of both serious and casual topics. If you aren't an INTJ, you're welcome to join anyway if you would like to learn more about this personality type or participate in our discussions. Registration is free and will allow you to post messages, see hidden subforums, customize your account and use other features only available to our members.

Nightmare

Body Image

52 posts in this topic

Do you ever find yourself looking at your body negatively? Do you ever find that you despise the way you look? Do you compare your body to others'?

If you answered 'yes' to any of the above, do you do anything to modulate these feelings? What allows you to get past your preconceptions of yourself?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I have a pretty realistic view of my body. When I was exercising and eating well, my body looked good. Lately, I've been under a lot of stress. I've been dealing with it by overeating and drinking too much. Now I'm starting to get a gut, which makes me feel pretty shitty about the way my body looks.

I don't want to feel better about my body until it actually looks better. There's no use fooling myself, because I'm sure as hell not going to fool anyone else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes I look in the mirror and think "you ugly fat mofo with your stupid face" and sometimes it's "damn, you're a sexy beast Zodd". But I don't take it seriously both, really don't care much what I look like, that's for girls.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, but no one will want to have sex with you if you're disgusting. Unless you like fat chicks.

BTW, your avatar is creepy as hell. I cringe every time I see it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

its hard not to compare yourself to others, and since theres always going to be someone that is prettier or looks better, its bound to cause some negative feelings. i realize i am often, if not always, my own harshest critic and try to ignore my own thoughts and opinions on my appearance and listen instead to what others have to say. but that is a difficult thing to do.

anything i do find negative others usually dont seem to notice, or actually prefer. i realize that no one else cares as much as i do and so i have never really put any sort of effort whatsoever into changing how i look.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I look at my body both negatively and positively. IE there are things I quite like, and things I'd rather nobody saw. It inspires me to work out harder.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
its hard not to compare yourself to others, and since theres always going to be someone that is prettier or looks better, its bound to cause some negative feelings. i realize i am often, if not always, my own harshest critic and try to ignore my own thoughts and opinions on my appearance and listen instead to what others have to say. but that is a difficult thing to do.

anything i do find negative others usually dont seem to notice, or actually prefer. i realize that no one else cares as much as i do and so i have never really put any sort of effort whatsoever into changing how i look.

Good-looking people have no reason to be in this thread, silly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All the time for all three of those. When I think about it it usually throws me into an existential depression. The only escape from that (that I've found so far) is distracting myself with tv and internet.

And I love Zodd's avatar. Makes me laugh every time I see it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Good-looking people have no reason to be in this thread, silly.

no matter how good looking someone is there is always potential for body image issues. thats why people who are size 4s still feel like they are fat and need to lose weight to be attractive, feel uncomfortable in bathing suits, etc. just because someone else finds them attractive doesnt mean they find themselves attractive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well said, kari.

I've always had issues with my body and general appearance. I see only my flaws. I don't really have a way to deal with my issues other than rationalising myself away from doing anything silly. I've issues with food, I've issues with BDD, & I hate being around other women at times because I feel like an ogre, but I'm working on it. There are good days and bad days.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, I could be happier with my body and I compare myself to others. The first online forum I ever participated on was devoted to eating disorders. I feel very scrutinized because people comment on my appearance a lot, twice just this past week. It helps to keep things in perspective, beauty fades and the vast majority of us have "flaws" anyway.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If plans are in place, don't waste time worrying about something imperfect.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a good result from a little 'experiment' i conducted on a dating site.

For my profile picture I used a picture of myself holding my dSLR up to my eye, effectively obscuring almost half of my face. While having that, along with a bit of a blurb about myself, on the site I had a reply rate of about 50% and girls were actually contacting me every second day or so.

After leaving it like that for a month I added another picture to my profile which was a professional photo of myself from the chest up. Since adding that, without changing anything else, the reply rate dropped to about 25% and only had 1 or 2 girls contact me in the following 30 days.

If anyone can read those results any other way i'm more then happy to hear it. it might make me feel better lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am incredibly critical of everyone, but I am most (if not irrationally) critical of myself. I was diagnosed with depression and bulimia several years ago, when I was especially self conscious about myself. I have always been quite thin, but I was surrounded by model-esque and models for a very, very long time. I went through a very long period of hating how I looked, and my competitive streak made things worse. I was one of those size fours wishing I could be a size smaller.

Now I'm just incredibly sceptical of the modeling industry... (by the way, some models do have brains.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have found the way around negative body image is to just have a large supply of funhouse mirrors lining your hallways. I keed.....I focus on the things I like and forgive my flaws, everyone has them. Actually some flaws are inherently attractive IMO, cleft lips on the right face (Joaquin Phoenix) even cystic acne scars (Jake Fratelli from the Goonies) *shudder*.....it's probably female but a well worn face adds character exponentially to me.

All the time for all three of those. When I think about it it usually throws me into an existential depression. The only escape from that (that I've found so far) is distracting myself with tv and internet.

And I love Zodd's avatar. Makes me laugh every time I see it.

+1, this avatar is hilarious!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Do you ever find yourself looking at your body negatively? Do you ever find that you despise the way you look? Do you compare your body to others'?

Well, sure. It's a constant criticism.

If you answered 'yes' to any of the above, do you do anything to modulate these feelings? What allows you to get past your preconceptions of yourself?

Not much, I'm afraid. Work takes a lot of energy out of me. I try to eat sensibly, but there are large gaps in having a healthy lifestyle. That'll be the only thing for me to take care of this problem. I'm not going accept mediocrity as a solution.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Do you ever find yourself looking at your body negatively? Do you ever find that you despise the way you look? Do you compare your body to others'?

Yeah.

If you answered 'yes' to any of the above, do you do anything to modulate these feelings? What allows you to get past your preconceptions of yourself?

I'm coming out of a chronic illness and I'm older. Reality is what it is. I focus on trying to improve my health and the way I look is not going to improve until the health does anyway, so there's no point worrying about it. Focus on the health issues is what's important. Anything else is a distraction.

It probably helps that I'm at an age and in a position where I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone. So you know, if people don't like it, they are always free to look the other way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to feel that way, though never to the extent some of my friends did. It let up a bit when I gained a real appreciation of all the complicated things my body does constantly, and disappeared entirely when I realised other people envied the very things I found unsatisfactory.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I only looked at my body negatively if I'm not what I look like in my mind; I imagine myself with low body and a somewhat tone physique. When I was overweight, I used to beat up myself a lot over my looks, but since I lost the weight, not so much.

I def don't compare myself to fitness models/body builders; no desire to look like them.

I would say to get over those perception, work toward the body you want. Sometimes it's just taking action to correct that mental image; provided that mental image isn't yourself as Bruce Lee, or that guy from 300 - This is Sparta!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Yeah, but no one will want to have sex with you if you're disgusting. Unless you like fat chicks.

BTW, your avatar is creepy as hell. I cringe every time I see it.

What?! You crazy, dog! Girls are all about what's on the inside! I dunno, I am a very black and white thinker so I don't really believe in girls liking boys for the inside AND outside. So...I dunno, maybe they only care about outside for the hell I know. I really can't believe a girl too be honest when it comes about what they like in a partner, less so than with guys, I think maybe.

You might also only be ugly if you care about it, in the eyes of others. If you see this super ugly dude dancing with all the chicks on the dancefloor you think he must be so much more awesome because he is ugly. Well that wouldn't be such an illogical thought.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes to all three.

I have a pretty poor body image; although, it's the best that it's been in years.

I'm more vain than I would like to be, if I were to be honest, and I'm my harshest critic. I just don't want to beat myself up for how I am in any given moment. I am trying to change my attitude to beat myself up if I don't bother to do anything about it.

If I am unhappy with my body, then I need to do something about it other than pity myself for being unhappy with my body.

So, I try to use my criticisms constructively. I have to recognize when my thoughts are self-destructive. They're going to happen. I don't think there's anything I can do to avoid them. So rather, I accept them. I let them come as they come, but I can't let them deter me from continuing to work on my health.

Since I have lessened the worrying, I have started getting compliments for how I look. Of course, it has a lot to do with the energy I have been putting into fitness, but I believe there's some correlation there with the negative thoughts that used to consume me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All girls hate their body for 1 week every month...

My body image is pretty OK. I have a minimum and maximum weight that I go by. It's very simple. If I start to get to close to the maximum, I try to lose a couple. And if I get to close to the minimum... nope, doesn't happen. ;D

No but honestly, I don't like to be to skinny either. I actually like my northern parts and if I lose to much weight they will go away. So I think the max/min is a pretty good way of staying in control of ones weight. This way I never grow out of my clothes either = save money.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Do you ever find yourself looking at your body negatively? Do you ever find that you despise the way you look? Do you compare your body to others'?

If you answered 'yes' to any of the above, do you do anything to modulate these feelings? What allows you to get past your preconceptions of yourself?

rather than comparing myself to others as i see them, i try to think of how others see themselves. upon talking to most people you will find that they feel similarly about their bodies as you do about yours. it's quite normal to assume that your flaws stand out more than the flaws of others even though, in reality, they don't.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really don't know. At 5'3 and 92 pounds, sometimes I find myself thinking: I should be thinner... But I'm already thin. So I think the problem with me is that I always crave for perfection, but my body is fine the way it is, just not "perfect" in the way I see.

Not cool.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the problem is its hard to do anything to make yourself look cool in todays society. If i could, i would put tribal tattoos all over my chest and face and i would look awesome, it would completely nullify all the bad features about the way i look. But noooo, cant do anything cool like that and still get a job in today's society.

There is no getting over it, or rationalizing, because it isnt rational thought. You only think that way based on biologically and socially ingrained thought patterns, its not a rational conclusion to a thought process. It doesnt have any meaning in the grand scheme of the universe.

The thing you should not do, though, is let it keep you from doing something. You just adapt to your situation, thats all you can do.

Besides, FUCK everyone else and what they think.

Adapt, and continue living life in fight mode.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now