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Devo

Fun in the Bedroom

I'm INTJ and male to put this in perspective.

I'm recently out of a relationship (she was either INTJ or ISTJ)and I'm trying to figure out what personality type I should be looking for that would be more likely to want to have ALOT of fun in the bedroom. Both in trying new things, and reciprocation. Apathy towards sex is not an option, and she seemed very apathetic in the bedroom. I'm not getting into another relationship where it's one sided as far as that goes.

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Eh, surely it would depend on more than just her personality type? I would imagine that it would be fairly individualized and have more to do with their own libido, how they were raised to view sex, their past experiences, and their own bodies. The two biggest factors would probably be their libido and their attitude towards sex... But I dunno.

Just because one female INTJ you dated was apathetic doesn't mean all are, or than some other special combinations of traits will make someone some frisky minx.

My boyfriend and I are both INTJ, very giving/caring in bed, experiment a lot, and most importantly just have shit-tons of fun.

I hope my opinion is helpful!

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Kittencuddler nailed it. Just because one individual has a low sex drive or doesn't seem all that interested in it doesn't mean the rest of 1/16th of the population feels the same. I'm the exact opposite. I generally feel the most comfortable showing affection through sex, to the point where a man I was dating for ten years accused me multiple times of seeing him as some sort of sex object. That honestly stung more than any rejection I've ever received.

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MyotisLucifugus, i find your quote "I generally feel the most comfortable showing affection through sex, to the point where a man I was dating for ten years accused me multiple times of seeing him as some sort of sex object" very interesting.

I was dating a brilliant and mysterious INTJ woman for five months, and while she often had a cynical veneer (complete w/ death glare, etc), she could be incredibly emotional and affectionate during and after sex. During our breakup, among the various evasive things she said, was that she felt bad that she was using me just for sex (i think the truth was some twisted inverse of this: she was getting emotion and intensity along w/ her sex and it was hard to deal with and the love/softness/romantic attachment bleeding into her life as the relationship got more serious and that was extremely uncomfortable for her).

In fact, during our breakup evening, i suggested that we have "breakup sex" only because i wanted to things to end with some degree of emotional honesty, and the only place where that occurred was in the bedroom. She agreed, and what followed was four hours of one of the most intense and emotional sexual experiences of my life.

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I'm recently out of a relationship (she was either INTJ or ISTJ).

Sounds like SJ. They're known for being traditional and non-experimental in the bedroom. My ESFJ wife fits the bill...

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Sounds like SJ. They're known for being traditional and non-experimental in the bedroom. My ESFJ wife fits the bill...

That's the only thing SJ about her besides the way she works with our son. Everything else about her is NJ all the way.

Her sex drive wasn't always low, she was just very selfish in the bedroom. If it weren't for the fact that I was married to the woman, the relationship would have ended much sooner than it did.

Thanks for all the responses, it has and has not helped if that makes sense. Right now I'm just feeling very cynical towards women in general atm. That would probably be different if she hadn't been the only person I had had a sexual relationship with.

I'm trying to get to the point right now that I don't feel that all women are bitches, cause it's not true. This woman really ripped my heart out and fed it to me, and I'm trying to get back out and date. Easier said than done.

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I'm INTJ and male to put this in perspective.

I'm recently out of a relationship (she was either INTJ or ISTJ)and I'm trying to figure out what personality type I should be looking for that would be more likely to want to have ALOT of fun in the bedroom. Both in trying new things, and reciprocation. Apathy towards sex is not an option, and she seemed very apathetic in the bedroom. I'm not getting into another relationship where it's one sided as far as that goes.

Avoid ISTJs and ISFJs. Other than that, its all over the place.

---------- Post added 03-24-2012 at 11:37 AM ----------

Sounds like SJ. They're known for being traditional and non-experimental in the bedroom. My ESFJ wife fits the bill...

And I dated an ESFJ who was an absolute freak in bed. I don't think there are too many non-conservative ISTJs, but outside of that, I'm reluctant to think anything is associated with it.

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That's the only thing SJ about her besides the way she works with our son. Everything else about her is NJ all the way.

Her sex drive wasn't always low, she was just very selfish in the bedroom. If it weren't for the fact that I was married to the woman, the relationship would have ended much sooner than it did.

Thanks for all the responses, it has and has not helped if that makes sense. Right now I'm just feeling very cynical towards women in general atm. That would probably be different if she hadn't been the only person I had had a sexual relationship with.

I'm trying to get to the point right now that I don't feel that all women are bitches, cause it's not true. This woman really ripped my heart out and fed it to me, and I'm trying to get back out and date. Easier said than done.

EFPs are usually the most giving in bed.

STPs are usually the most likely to not notice the rest of you is there, they just go about their business. Nice and to the point.

INX are the most likely to benefit from taking turns in sex.

I have no idea about FJ or TJs.

Of course it all does actually depend on the person.

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My GF is an ISFJ, and the sexiest woman I've ever been with. She's 66, and has the sex drive of a much younger woman, or of a teenage guy. No complaints here.

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I really like giving in bed...specifically cunnilingus.

Is this a super anti-INTJ thing?

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I really like giving in bed...specifically cunnilingus.

Is this a super anti-INTJ thing?

Nope, not to my knowledge it isn't.

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The last INTJ woman I was with wasn't much of a 'giver'. After about 40 minutes of foreplay, me doing three things at once, I realized she hadn't yet touched by toilet-bits. When we did have sex, it was probably the most intense I've ever had. But even then, she's used to getting off, and not getting other people off. It was disappointing.

For the OP, if you're really looking for specifics, I say find an E. ENFP, ESFP, ENTJ. Either way, it's all dependent on the person and your relationship with them.

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A Scorpio :)

But yeah, like everyone else said it's up to the person. You can usually tell if someone is GGG (good, giving, game) in relation to how they respond to sexual rhetoric. If a man can carry on a conversation (text, online, face-to-face) with me with explicit or implicit sexual content, then that usually indicates to me what he is like in bed. Or you could be blunt and directly communicate your views regarding sex and sexuality when you're in the process of getting to know someone.

Alternatively, you could just see how a first sexual experience goes with someone and make your decision of committing based on that. When feelings develop people usually tend to consider things that they would not normally do because they want to please the other person, but not many people are worth sticking around with to see if that's true.

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Sounds like SJ. They're known for being traditional and non-experimental in the bedroom. My ESFJ wife fits the bill...
Yeah that'd be right. It's taken many years to drag my wife into the gutter. Once shes there, its a different story - she can be a real slag LOL!
I really like giving in bed...specifically cunnilingus. Is this a super anti-INTJ thing?
Yeah I can slop the slot and hold her on the precipice for ages. Buy her some laser hair removal - can definitely recommend the laser!

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I'm INTJ and male to put this in perspective.

I'm recently out of a relationship (she was either INTJ or ISTJ)and I'm trying to figure out what personality type I should be looking for that would be more likely to want to have ALOT of fun in the bedroom. Both in trying new things, and reciprocation. Apathy towards sex is not an option, and she seemed very apathetic in the bedroom. I'm not getting into another relationship where it's one sided as far as that goes.

Remember bro, you can have fun in other locations, not just the bedroom. On the kitchen counter, on the couch, in the hot tub, on the toilet seat, in the tool shed, in a tree house, in the basement, etc. :thumbsup:

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The apathy toward sex issue speaks to me of either organically low sex drive or emotional issues in the relationship. Ask how often she masturbates. How often does she want sex in a relationship?

Is she open to new experiences in general? Is she fun loving in general? What kind of sense of humor does she have? Does she have an overly prissy conception of hygiene? Does she like to take control and give fellatio? Is she giving in other areas?

Speaking from my personal experience and from women I know, women who are "freaks" tend to be highly aware of it, probably because of the positive feedback we've gotten. If you put us in a judgement free space we will tend to flaunt it. Also, we are likely to have experienced a hum-drum relationship and will be actively seeking to avoid a repeat experience.

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directly communicate your views regarding sex and sexuality

THIS. I'd say open communication is the only key to an amazing sex life. So pick any type you can effectively communicate with and who understands you back. Obviously the person should have good personality and matching libido but the ability to articulate sexual desires and preferences determines the amount of fun in the bedroom on long term. Developing the vocabulary is not too hard even for an unaccustomed person with the right attitude.

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First, I do not think sexuality and MBTI go together, at all. I haven't been around long, but reading around in this section I've seen all sorts of attitudes on sex from the same MBTI. Yes, the way you go about it may differ, but actual likes and how much of it you want ought to be an individual thing. And on that note...

THIS. I'd say open communication is the only key to an amazing sex life. So pick any type you can effectively communicate with and who understands you back. Obviously the person should have good personality and matching libido but the ability to articulate sexual desires and preferences determines the amount of fun in the bedroom on long term.

I want to throw in my two cents and say DO IT. Seriously, do it. Sex is not all in a relationship, but it can take a relationship and lift it to new heights. And the only way for it to do that, is if you match up. And if you don't find out until you are already having sex, it's not only harder to bring up without someone getting offended, but also (depending on person) harder to walk away if it doesn't match. People need to stop seeing talking about sex with someone as such a tabu. Sure, maybe not the first topic to bring up with someone new, but once you got to know them, why not have a friendly chat about sex in general? You can learn a lot of a persons likes and attitude when they talk about sex in general, no need for "I like it if you X" or "I want sex Y times a week".

In a different life I intend to become a sex-psychologist, and force all my patients to be apart for a couple of weeks and only have cybersex. It may sound lame, but it's ridiculously effective in making the actual sex awesome. Forces you to think outside the box, and by monitoring how the other person responds while not being busy enjoying your own feelings, you learn really well what the other person likes.

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I think "having fun" would be more related to sex drive and such, than MBTI.

Personally, I suggest getting to know them first and then worrying about those type things later on down the road. If you don't have that bond and loving friendship, the relationship won't last. I'm a big believer in saving it until marriage and don't quite like the idea of choosing someone based on the criteria of "haing fun in the bedroom" anyone can do that.

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I'm INTJ and male to put this in perspective.

I'm recently out of a relationship (she was either INTJ or ISTJ)and I'm trying to figure out what personality type I should be looking for that would be more likely to want to have ALOT of fun in the bedroom. Both in trying new things, and reciprocation. Apathy towards sex is not an option, and she seemed very apathetic in the bedroom. I'm not getting into another relationship where it's one sided as far as that goes.

Everybody wants a good thing... There's just no doubt. There's some things that you can't do without. And

Keep looking... I'm sure you'll find the

Sorry... couldn't resist. ;D

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Sounds like SJ. They're known for being traditional and non-experimental in the bedroom. My ESFJ wife fits the bill...

Bah, my ISFJ woman keeps surprising me with her kinkiness. I don't think MBTI is going to be much of an indicator at all for sexual attitude.

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EFPs are usually the most giving in bed.

STPs are usually the most likely to not notice the rest of you is there, they just go about their business. Nice and to the point.

INX are the most likely to benefit from taking turns in sex.

I have no idea about FJ or TJs.

Of course it all does actually depend on the person.

How can you make this assumption without knowing the FJ or TJ?

Sex has nothing to do with personality type. A sex drive comes from testosterone and other chemicals in the brain. What you do with that sex drive is about being open and having a good line of communication. I'm typically of the mind to believe that people who are giving in their day to day life are also giving in bed. It also doesn't hurt to be in touch with your sexual side and explore it alone.

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I think "having fun" would be more related to sex drive and such, than MBTI.

Personally, I suggest getting to know them first and then worrying about those type things later on down the road. If you don't have that bond and loving friendship, the relationship won't last. I'm a big believer in saving it until marriage and don't quite like the idea of choosing someone based on the criteria of "haing fun in the bedroom" anyone can do that.

No offense, and I like your position about having a good bond/friendship in relationships (at least when it comes to long-term relationships), but saving it til marriage is probably still going to make your first few times awkward as shit, just like they are for everybody else.

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