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jtskinner

What are INTJs like as teenagers and children?

206 posts in this topic

I scored as an INTJ for the pass few months and I can't find a reliable resource that describes what INTJs are like as teenagers or children, so just what are they like? Do they fit the nerd/bookworm stereotype like I do? Do any INTJs have Asperger's Syndrome(I scored 42 AQ)?

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I don't have a specific answer for you, but I will share one childhood experience that exemplifies my I and J parts quite well.

On my 9th birthday, I went to the video rental store with my dad and brothers to pick out a movie. It took forever because my dad had to sign up for a new membership at the rental place. While we waited, my brothers and I made plans to play T-ball when we got home, before watching the movie, because it'd still be daylight outside. When we got home I, instead, found my house was full of my future 4th grade classmates. I started bawling because a) my plans had been interrupted and b) I now had to spend time with 10 people I didn't know very well. (I'd only lived in the town for a year at that point.) The way my parents finally got me to calm down was by organizing the girls into T-ball teams. :P

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Well, Im still a teenager. Im still 14. I like to be ALONE, for a great amount of time. I only have few friend's that I talk with ( Tecnology, Military, Racism, Strategy) that's what we only talk about. Sometimes youl find us, sitting in the benches, reading.... and reading, and reading, and reading some more. I don't talk much, to get me laughing is quite a feat. To get me talking is a miracle.... I only lead, in group's of 3, And when nobody want's to lead. And, when I was taking my social studies class, my teacher told me, what's my opinion on Christianity. I just said " Do you really want to know?". And being the teacher she was, she said "Yes". I told her "To say the truth, we'd be better of without it, There's no scientific proof that Yahve actually exist's, And it was the cause of many war's, so I don't care at all about Christianity, it's just the oil to the fire". You can imagine what my classmates, thought about that...

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Hm. I only had two actual birthday parties with more than one friend.

The others I either a) Didn't have a party or b) played badminton in the backyard with the parental units and my neighbor who was a good friend until she moved.

I never had more than 5 friends at one time.

I was called Curious Cat when I was younger. (as in I wanted to know everything)

I would say I was slightly more social when I was younger yet still a bookworm and very very shy.

edit: I never played with Barbies. I left my two Barbies neglected in my closet. Same with my one doll. I had model horses to play with....silently....unless I neighed....I might make stories in my head though...

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As a child, I spent most of my time playing alone.

In preschool, the teacher convinced my mother that I was going to turn out to be a sociopath or something because I'd play what the other children were playing, but I wouldn't play with them (I was the first child and I was a little odd, so my mom believed her lol)

I liked to play with my Barbie dolls and create long stories to act out with them. I didn't like Barbie, though, just her dark-haired friends. I only had one or two friends at a time, but they never participated in my stories.

As a teenager I had a fairly large group of friends (for me...which is about 6 or 7) and we were held together by being the outcasts. Somehow I was the leader of this group by virtue of being the bravest one of them and the most independent. All of us thoroughly enjoyed being weird and made no attempts to fit in to the rest of the school. Most of my high school days were spent with my nose buried in books...I read a lot of mystery, then I got into fantasy...I went to the library at school so much that the librarians knew my name and would strike up conversations with me.

I don't know about the experiences of other people, though. I doubt my experience growing up is all that close to anyone else's.

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I have great parents. When I was young, they generally nutured and humored my INTJ qualities. Looking back, they've often joked that it wasn't really a punishment to send me to my room, since I loved being there alone and doing things in there (reading, listening to music, etc.). I've always been very self-entertaining.

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I was pretty evil and tormented my brothers and parents.

I was alone all the time and loved it.

I tried to reconcile a need for autonomy with the fact that I was a kid with parents as masters.

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I read this about children / teens and MBTI a while back, you might find it interesting.

http://www.personalitypage.com/kid_info.html

http://www.personalitypage.com/INJ.html

Holy Sh*t! The INJ traits list completely described me as a kid! Perfectly. On the dot.

1. They have vivid imaginations yep

2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" yep

3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groupsyep

4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike qualityyep

5. They enjoy art and musicyep, did crafts, made things, drew horses, band

6. They love books, and especially enjoy fictiontotally me

7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situationyep

8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings100%

9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned eventsoh definitely

10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sportstennis, definitely

11. They are perfectionistsoh for sure, probably excessively

12. They're serious and intenseyep

13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friendsyep to both, was told I acted/seemed older a lot

14. They are original and independent, and value their uniquenessyep

15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them yes to both, I was never too concerned cause classes were easy

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If I had to fill any role as a teenager, I was the sarcastic asshole friend. If you took me seriously, you hated me. If you spent the time to get to know me, it was generally worth it to both parties.

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I was a socially awkward, manipulative little introvert. I only ever wanted to talk about what I was learning or what I could learn, or abstract thoughts I had. I daydreamed a lot and constantly read.

I never played with dolls, only toy animals, and then I would make up some epic story in my head and follow it through. I never had friends over, which my parents thought was weird. In fact, when my parents found out that I never played at recess, only read, they sent a note to my teacher telling her that I wasn't allowed to read at recess- something about "retarding my social development." I read anyway.

As a teen, I've opened up a little- I'm still strongly introverted, but I can function decently in social situations. I get disoriented in large groups, but in small groups I have a very forceful personality. I'm still too blunt, though. I say things I probably shouldn't and take a long time to realize that I offended people. If you get to know me, though, I'm helpful and nice, but sarcastic and not very empathetic.

I often feel like an outcast, though. I have a facade I put on around some other people, so I'm very often misunderstood. The only person who I can truly talk to is my dad, who is an INTJ too- so not always that helpful.

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I'm a teenager now, and I must say I agree with everyone here. I love philosophy, theoretical science, robotics/electrical engineering, mathematics and computer science. I work myself to the death in school, I'm always nervous about it. I'd rather be the most deformed mutation on earth if I could have an IQ of 200 and be left alone to do research to benefit society(oddly enough). I hate being called stupid, when people say I'm stupid I become self-destructive. Nobody wins arguments with me, I hate authority and rules and would rather we have a society of no government or leaders, we obviously need laws though as long as they're not dumb laws. Plus, I'm the only atheist in a small rural Christian town. I don't know how far I'll go with being a scientist, my IQ is a mere 116. As a child I was talkative, lived in my own world, always reading or examining insects, I always wanted to be a scientist. It wasn't until I was older that I became introverted, mainly because of many depressing incidents and then I saw socializing as useless, I wanted to be a pro-wrestler for awhile and then a game designer. I used to read a book a day back then.

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It wasn't until I was older that I became introverted, mainly because of many depressing incidents and then I saw socializing as useless
Same here. Am I the only one whose personality is constantly changing? (I'm 17)

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The above link describes me as a child fairly well. I would like to note that I was a latchkey kid morning and evenings, so for five days per week between 7AM and 5PM I was surrounded by screeching kids, being lectured to or both. That resulted in massive stress migraines daily, which persisted until I was 16 and driving. Combine that with never having access to anyone who would ever attempt to make adjustments for my temperament and I was one unhappy kid. :thumbsdown:

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Personally it is very hard to decide myself as an INTJ because of my childhoold memories. I was not extroverted or anything but I had more imaginations and more enthusiastic minded than I am right now. I am very sure that I had high intuitions - I loved reading fantasy literature and poetry, and even enjoyed writing some of my own. I was even into classical music when I was in elementry school - for I loved having my radio on for days.

When I was a teen I did not feel comfortable 'hanging out' with others as the other kids did in middle school. I was very alone at school and decided to concentrate on my studies in order to relieve the isolation I felt in class. Anyway it kinda worked for me and in high school I was still like that, the only difference was that I had more *sincere* friends than back then. I liked having few friends, did not hang out with bunch but only 1-2 friends, and did not socialize fully with all classmates.

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INTP, so not your desired polling audience. But this is what I was like as a child and teenager.

As a child I preferred to be alone, and I got a reputation as a Manipulator, Recluse and as a Violent Child.

The recluse I deserved because I spent my afterschool hours in the towns public library alone, or wandering around the golf course alone, or in my bedroom reading alone. I used to do a lot of things alone because in primary school I never had any friends. I did of course have people who hung around during class because I could make them laugh, or they wanted to pick on me, but maybe because they never understood me or I them I only saw them as tools to be used and from there I got the reputation of a manipulator.

I did NOT deserve the reputation of a violent child though, I got that because I never understood roughhousing, still dont really. When I see a fight I think only of the bodies weakspots and where to put the most pressure for the best result (winning no matter the cost), but most of the time I didnt enter fights because I was either scared of punishment or myself, or I thought that the kids were just "roughhousing" and I never saw the bullying for what it was. I got the violent reputation from that because occasionally I'd try and join in a game of "mugby" by knocking a guy down and punching (what they were doing, but feigning), or from being cheated in a game where the other person would get away with something so I'd punch and run off to a library.

Early on, and the few times I have had friends close enough to actually open up to i'd be the highly creative inventor of worlds or of games and of cubby houses. My creativity was pretty damn good and with.. shit this is depressing... with my under 10 friends in my life we'd trapeze off into the bush or a treehouse to create worlds or games.

Oh, and apparently I went on a car trip with my grandfather in Cloncurry once from a town to another town and I was constantly asking questions like why this, how that, what that, and he was answering every one of these patiently with both the why what how, but also with how i could find out more. extremely curious

As a teenager I think I only had four friends; Daniel Moore, Jared Dobbie, Alex from St Francis College, and Shaun Case. I was even more of a shut in then, but I was starting to see the bullying early and would preemptively strike at the cunts fast and vicious in the throat or eyes, and that'd be it for the year. Reputation as Violent, but left alone to read in peace without interference. I was still creative but I since i moved all the time I only ever had one friend at any one place so the chances to create alongside someone was diminished. Again i was Reclusive and Creative, but this time I at least had the chance to talk with bishops or intelligent priests(one of whom is now Bishop of North Queensland) about my ideas or poetry or art. I did overreact a lot as a teenager too.

Sometimes I'd like to go back and punch some sense into me. Thank fuck I've matured. They are not particularly good memories.

INTP Childhood:

Reclusive

Over reactive to childhood stresses

Misunderstanding of Society

Creative

Constant Bibliophile.

INTP Adolescence:

Reclusive (with attempts at social gatherings)

Internally over reactive of stresses

Misunderstanding of society through to disappointed understanding of society

Creative

Constant Bibliophile.

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Ouch, that sounds so much like my experience to the letter it's eerie. I've definitely matured since then. They claimed I was ADD in middle school (Angry Depression Disorder?) because I wrote a list of names of people I disliked. When I was 13 I even sat under a table in class because my teacher was condescending and obviously refused to listen to my ideas. Strangely enough, I think online forums helped me to let go and mature a bit, as well as my disastrous two and a half year relationship.

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As a kid, for as far back as I can remember, I always preferred spending my time by myself as opposed to with other kids. They all seemed like uncouth, threatening barbarians. :P I spent almost all my time doing video games, PC stuff (back when DOS was all the rage, yessss! :3), reading, ect.

I ****HATED**** school with a burning rancor. I felt like I'd been tossed into some bizarre foreign land filled with neanderthals and incompetent and arbitrary adults as its rulers. XD

Teenage years were pretty much in the same avenue, except I added lots of art stuff and started spending a lot of time thinking about, like, things, and all that deep stuff most of the time.

I've never really had any friends that lasted more than 2 weeks for the most part, I just didn't seem able to connect with people and always got bored. (Pretty much the same situation today, wheeee!)

That was my childhood summary i hope y'all enjoyed it *nods*

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ShaiGar said: "Misunderstanding of society through to disappointed understanding of society"

yeah. the thing with me was it took a while for different things to sink in, and i went through an extremely bitter and angry phase. i'm still passionate about certain subjects but it's generally not worth dwelling on matters over which you have no control.

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I think online forums helped me to let go and mature a bit, as well as my disastrous two and a half year relationship.

Same here, 4 years on Planetarion Forums acting like a dickhead, 1 year on INTPC acting kinda normally and lashing out like a dickhead, about 4-5 months on INTPU normal, as well as one failed relationship that helped to mould me.

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Although older... still a teenager just like Zeinland. I smiled a little when I saw your reading portion. When I first moved here I never interacted with anyone on the playground and well... all I did was read. And I still do that during lunch break. Usually I keep to myself unless I find something interesting about someone...therefore I open up a little to inquire about whatever tickles my curiousity. There was a period of time where I would sit on the bleachers by my school's baseball field but I ended up getting kicked out of my secret place because that area was supposedly out of bounds to students.

Hmm... just wondering, as children, did anyone's INTJ-ness earn them criticism from others? As for myself, I am constantly chided for my "socially-retarded" behaviour (no I don't have Asperger's) ...but people seem to be convinced there is something definately wrong with me. (i.e. my mum, teachers, sisters' friends etc)

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I read this about children / teens and MBTI a while back, you might find it interesting.

http://www.personalitypage.com/kid_info.html

http://www.personalitypage.com/INJ.html

Holy Sh*t! The INJ traits list completely described me as a kid! Perfectly.  On the dot.

 

1.  They have vivid imaginations yep

  2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" yep

  3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groupsyep

  4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike qualityyep

  5. They enjoy art and musicyep, did crafts, made things, drew horses, band

  6. They love books, and especially enjoy fictiontotally me

  7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situationyep

  8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings100%

  9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned eventsoh definitely

 10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sportstennis, definitely

 11. They are perfectionistsoh for sure, probably excessively

 12. They're serious and intenseyep

 13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friendsyep to both, was told I acted/seemed older a lot

 14. They are original and independent, and value their uniquenessyep

 15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them yes to both, I was never too concerned cause classes were easy

ditto... i had a motto way back: i don't care if i failed a subject as long as i learned something from a good teacher than get high marks from a gullible, incompetent teacher.

perfectionist... yes as a kid i am! i love the trash can and 90% of my sketches always land there. when i was studying guitar, i stayed til 3am just to get stuff perfect... when i buy stuff at the mall, i scout for 5 malls (the mall i used to go to are next or adjacent to each other) for the cheapest price. my mom's always pissed off everytime i buy something but i always say, "walking is good for you."

my sports -- swimming, tae kwon do, aikido, racing, cycling... i hate team sports

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I read this about children / teens and MBTI a while back, you might find it interesting.

http://www.personalitypage.com/kid_info.html

http://www.personalitypage.com/INJ.html

Holy Sh*t! The INJ traits list completely described me as a kid! Perfectly. On the dot.

1. They have vivid imaginations yep

2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" yep

3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groupsyep

4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike qualityyep

5. They enjoy art and musicyep, did crafts, made things, drew horses, band

6. They love books, and especially enjoy fictiontotally me

7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situationyep

8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings100%

9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned eventsoh definitely

10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sportstennis, definitely

11. They are perfectionistsoh for sure, probably excessively

12. They're serious and intenseyep

13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friendsyep to both, was told I acted/seemed older a lot

14. They are original and independent, and value their uniquenessyep

15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them yes to both, I was never too concerned cause classes were easy

ditto...

Yeah, I would have liked to have read this when I was a teen. It would have helped a lot.

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