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dayguard

Borderline INTJ/INFJ

26 posts in this topic

From the tests that I take.... it generally shows that I am an INTJ but always barely on th T side. On the latest test that I took, the result was INTP but that's probably because I was at a phase of trying to be less judgmental towards others.

Been around in the forum for a while and feel that I am a little different from full blown INTJs. For me, it matters what I thought others think of me.

I just wanna hear from other borderline INTJ/INFJ experiences in life.

I'll start by saying that I can get emotional internally but my logic stops me from expressing them.

Growing up, I was yearning so much for my parents to express love to me but I did nothing to express what I felt I needed. My parents, not expressing their love is typical of Asians. However this culture is changing. My question is, especially to other T/F borderliners, do you guys think the borderline issue make people like me more screwed while growing?

Thoughts (and feelings) on this anyone?

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I probably used to be an F some time ago, when I was overly sensitive about everything, trusted people very easily and wanted to please them in every possible way. I wore my heart on my sleeve, as it usually said.

Then, I realised that I was only asking to get hurt (after many betrayals and backstabbings), and decided Logic was going to rule my every move, since feelings had only led me to a bad end.

And I'm feeling better now than I did then, though I do miss talking to people (probably why I joined these forums, it's safer here than in real life).

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I probably used to be an F some time ago, when I was overly sensitive about everything, trusted people very easily and wanted to please them in every possible way.

That was a huge block in my life as well. I was not happy with who I was. I felt I needed to be perfect before anyone could even want to be my friend. At the same time trying to express my feelings/thoughts was another challenge. That's the double whammy part of being borderline... or at least being me at that time.

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From the tests that I take.... it generally shows that I am an INTJ but always barely on th T side. On the latest test that I took, the result was INTP but that's probably because I was at a phase of trying to be less judgmental towards others.

Been around in the forum for a while and feel that I am a little different from full blown INTJs. For me, it matters what I thought others think of me.

I just wanna hear from other borderline INTJ/INFJ experiences in life.

I'll start by saying that I can get emotional internally but my logic stops me from expressing them.

Growing up, I was yearning so much for my parents to express love to me but I did nothing to express what I felt I needed. My parents, not expressing their love is typical of Asians. However this culture is changing. My question is, especially to other T/F borderliners, do you guys think the borderline issue make people like me more screwed while growing?

Thoughts (and feelings) on this anyone?

This is a reply happening almost 5 years later. I think I'm borderline T/F too. Most of my different versions of test results showed that I'm either 1% or 2% T. So it's obvious that I'm probably borderline. I always thought it was because I'm a girl. You know, women get affected by hormones more easily.

My feelings and my logic like to fight with each other. But I tend to trust my thinking these days. I tried to followed my feelings once, it didn't get me anywhere.

All in all, it's hard to be the borderline. I feel pretty screwed. But it's good to know your type, so you could keep your strength, and work on your weakness.

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For a few years I have always scored on the fringe of INTJ/INFJ and was in a similar conundrum. After some months spent researching the key differences between Fe vs Te, and Fi vs Ti I've come to the conclusion that I had been mistyping myself as an INTJ all along.. Although I feel like I may have much in common in terms of cognitive functionality and structure with INTJ's (Ni dominant, Se inferior) I am just about fully confident that I am INFJ. One resource that has helped me immensely in this regard is personalityjunkie.com

Best of luck in finding + understanding yourself! :)

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This girl thought she was an INTJ for seven years!

Turns out she is an INFJ:

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^ Her self-typing came under scrutiny in this thread — and I pegged her as an F, although I also said I could see her being an ENFJ or xNFJ or INFJ.

So what do you think I am? I'll change my type immediately, that's how much trust I put in you. :)

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So what do you think I am? I'll change my type immediately, that's how much trust I put in you. :)

Yikes! Well, that attitude leans me against INT... :p

I'm not particularly familiar with you and it looks like you've never done a "type me" thread where you provided a substantial amount of "this is what I'm like" information.

I previously linked you to what you might call my "portal post" on J/P, so, assuming you've followed all those links, you've read a lot of what I have to say about J and P and what I think about the INTx possibility.

You've indicated that you tend to get relatively borderline scores on T/F and I think it's not uncommon for INFs (and maybe INFJs especially) to mistype as INTs (and substantially less common for INTs to mistype as INFs). If you want links to a boatload of posts from me on T/F (and especially INT vs. INF), see this T/F portal post. As with J/P, though, I think it may be possible for somebody to be sufficiently close to the middle that "x" is a better single-letter label than either T or F would be.

ADDED: The Keirsey links at the bottom of that last linked post are broken, and here are replacements:

Keirsey INTJ profile

Keirsey INFJ profile

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Yikes! Well, that attitude leans me against INT... :p

I'm not particularly familiar with you and it looks like you've never done a "type me" thread where you provided a substantial amount of "this is what I'm like" information.

I previously linked you to what you might call my "portal post" on J/P, so, assuming you've followed all those links, you've read a lot of what I have to say about J and P and what I think about the INTx possibility.

You've indicated that you tend to get relatively borderline scores on T/F and I think it's not uncommon for INFs (and maybe INFJs especially) to mistype as INTs (and substantially less common for INTs to mistype as INFs). If you want links to a boatload of posts from me on T/F (and especially INT vs. INF), see this T/F portal post. As with J/P, though, I think it may be possible for somebody to be sufficiently close to the middle that "x" is a better single-letter label than either T or F would be.

ADDED: The Keirsey links at the bottom of that last linked post are broken, and here are replacements:

Keirsey INTJ profile

Keirsey INFJ profile

Okay, thanks for the insight, I think I just figured out my type and changed it. You can see it now. :)

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^ Her self-typing came under scrutiny in this thread — and I pegged her as an F, although I also said I could see her being an ENFJ or xNFJ or INFJ.
I'd peg her as an extrovert of some variety. There are no pauses between thinking and speaking. She also doesn't have the feel of forced energy push, that introverts normally display.

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@Distance,

do you think I am more of a J or a P? I know what reckful said and his links but I would like your input as well. Thanks!

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No idea serenesam. Why not do a type me thread, as suggested by reckful?

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No idea serenesam. Why not do a type me thread, as suggested by reckful?

Kind of busy now. I'll have to do it later. Is there a guideline link of questions somewhere? I know in other forums they have that.

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This forum doesn't have those kinds of questionnaires, although I don't think there's any reason you can't use questions from other forums that seem good to you as guidelines to help you produce a "this is what I'm like" OP over here.

One approach I often recommend is to take the two (or three or four) types that you see as the most likely candidates and go through some profiles and tell us what aspects of any of those profiles provoke a particularly noteworthy "that's me" or "that's not me" reaction.

For that matter, you can do the same with any of my posts on, say, J/P or T/F — and note that, for that purpose, whether one of my posts puts any particular personality characteristic in the right slot or not is not all that important. For example, if my post says "INTs tend to do A while INFs tend to do B" and you note in your type-me OP that you definitely tend to do B and not A, one of the other contributors to your type-me thread might think I was totally wrong about attributing B to INFs but consider the fact that you identified strongly with B over A to be useful information in terms of their own perspective on the types.

My final comment, particularly since you mentioned that you're busy, is that there's no rush here, right? In my experience, OPs of "type me" threads often read like they were put together in an hour or less. Taking more time — and erring on the side of including any what-I'm-like characteristics that you think might be relevant to the preferences you're wondering about — is likely to end up getting you better input, whereas whether your OP is ready to be posted this week, or next week, or the week after that, isn't going to end up mattering.

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The real difference between INTJs and INFJs lies in the function stacks, all types have some flavour of each of the four functions somewhere in their stack.

INTJ: Ni Te Fi Se

INFJ: Ni Fe Ti Se

The difference between INxJ types is the Aux/Tert functions, TJs use extraverted thinking and introverted feeling while FJs use extraverted feeling and introverted thinking.

For comparison, the functions in question are described below.

Te - extraverted thinking:

Ordering; organizing for efficiency; systematizing; applying logic; structuring; checking for consequences; monitoring for standards or specifications being met; setting boundaries, guidelines, and parameters, deciding if something is working or not.

Ti - introverted thinking:

Analyzing; categorizing; evaluating according to principles and whether something fits the framework or model; figuring out the principles on which something works; checking for inconsistencies; clarifying definitions to get more precision.

Fe - extraverted feeling:

Connecting; considering others and the group - organizing to meet their needs and honor their values; adjusting and accommodating others; deciding if something is appropriate or acceptable to others.

Fi -introverted feeling:

Valuing; considering importance and worth; reviewing for incongruity; evaluating something based on the truths on which it is based; clarifying values to achieve accord; deciding if something is of significance and worth standing up for.

Source

N.B. Because of the way Meyers-Briggs set up the system mistypes are common due to confusion, it is NOT possible to be a borderline type, nor (barring brain damage) is it possible to change types.

explains better than I ever could

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One approach I often recommend is to take the two (or three or four) types that you see as the most likely candidates and go through some profiles and tell us what aspects of any of those profiles provoke a particularly noteworthy "that's me" or "that's not me" reaction.

So yeah, I did that and I think I am more of an INFP. I enjoy "creative writing" and "poetry." I recall a long time ago that an INTJ said to me on this forum "I have no idea what you are talking about." I feel I can relate to wandryminded - http://intjforum.com/member.php?u=19404

I thought I might have been related to psykhe (http://intjforum.com/member.php?u=14864) but then after browsing some of her posts, I don't think I am like her as she is an INFJ.

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I'll start by saying that I can get emotional internally but my logic stops me

Sounds exactly like me. It's like I detach emotionally and rationalize it all.

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So yeah, I did that and I think I am more of an INFP. I enjoy "creative writing" and "poetry." I recall a long time ago that an INTJ said to me on this forum "I have no idea what you are talking about." I feel I can relate to wandryminded - http://intjforum.com/member.php?u=19404

You once freely, perhaps even reverently referred to the psychology major in general as "almost an art, in your opinion"—I imagined a sort of starry-eyed expression in your eyes as you posted that. You also challenged a (joking) statement I made hinting subtly (though unintentionally) to exclusivity, specifically the light claim I wrote that only psychology students care enough about "figuring themselves out" to give so many damns about personality typing/self-discovery.

If you ask me (and you didn't, but too bad :p ), the manner in which you challenged my thinking there was remarkably Ne in its particular brand of non-aggressive argumentation ("But surely that's not the only possibility?..."). Further, I can't help but feel that I'd unwittingly treaded on some sacred, highly-cultivated Fi grounds in saying what I did. So I could definitely see INFP being the case, but it's too soon for me (and most others here) to commit to that with any proper level of conviction.

In closing, I'll say this: I've found type-me threads are most always illuminating (though certainly not always so right away) and highly rewarding experiences. Would definitely recommend giving it a go if you've the time, patience, and curious drive to figure these things out.

EDIT: Oh, and "serene" is such an INFP buzzword. :laugh:

Edited by Suraj

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Sounds like me as well. I also don't really indentify with some the portrayals of intj characters in fiction, politics or other characters. They all seem like villains! haha the evil mastermind is definitely not me. But every time I take the test and answer truthfully, I always get intj.

I think that even though I've tried to be more extroverted over the years to make a more interesting life for myself, it still hasn't made me into an entj. I also think that if I did use my emotions instead of logic like infj, I would know that I was wrong for doing so. Mainly because I really do value logic much more than emotions, because emotions are so easily misguided and lead to wrong.

Which is why I don't identify with some of the characters who are seen as intj. Because I would always use my logic for good rather than my own evil mastermind agenda. Because I see emotions as an inhibition to truth, I would always be logical.

I think intj is a very diverse group, full of people that you wouldn't think would fit in. But I think that its also what makes us intj, is because we are unique and follow our own set of rules, not even the ones that may be character types of the intj.

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Mainly because I really do value logic much more than emotions, because emotions are so easily misguided and lead to wrong....

Because I see emotions as an inhibition to truth...

And in that lies my constant battle, being intj/infj. Must say that the intj almost always "wins" over my emotions. However, it makes for a lot of absurd, bizarre and twisted thoughts! I get so tired ;)

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I came up INFJ 20 some years ago on a version of the test taken during a personality course as part of my psych degree.  Took the online versions in the last year and got the same thing.  One had me 3 percent F.  We actually use all the cognitive functions just some are a lot less preferred than others.  I can see some decisions I have made show my preference for the F dominated stack.  For instance I once turned down a promotion because a friend of mine had been with the company longer even though logically I knew my skills made me better equipped for it, but by the same token I can say I have also made decisions that consider the most efficient use of resources including people.  I wonder if someone who has less of that clear cut of a preference may just show less of a weakness of the opposite paired  cognitive function than someone further to the edge of the pair?  So we can essentially use all 4 of the ti/te and Fi/fe functions a bit easier? 

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I'm a former INTJ who morphed into an INFJ. I think this was because I used to be INTJ as a result during my teenage years when I was really sure of myself and the world and more focused on myself and my ideas. When I got older, I basically flipped and stopped caring about myself, I started to see the bigger picture as it concerns humanity as a whole and started to focus more on other people. I also opened myself up more to my emotions and started "feeling" more based on a few life experiences which ended up causing me to change.

I think the main difference between INTJs and INFJs is the sense of morality/people. INTJs (my husband is one) see absolutely clearly who is "good" and who is "bad"....it's obvious for them. INFJs tend to focus on the problems of humanity as a whole and we don't attribute mistakes or bad things to people individually, we always see such things as symptoms of a greater reality that we want to change. We want to fix the society's problems at large so that it benefits everyone, whereas INTJs want to create and solve problems mostly because they like it and understand it and it's enjoyable for them and the problem solving is in itself a means to an end. Not trying to say INTJs are more selfish, they just aren't as concerned about the emotional and moral problems of society as INFJs are.

INTJ morality tends to be more black and white, they have no problem with harsh punishments for people who do wrong or stupid things and tend to feel little sympathy for them. INFJs are constantly focusing on the "grey area" and trying to get rid of the black altogether in order to make the world more ideal and perfect and harmonious.

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No. I learned at the mbti workshop I attended that one should strive to be more borderline. Because it's not about being a complete T or a complete F, but being well balanced so that you can get along with others in such a way where you enhance the strengths of your team. Nobody does anything alone is the idea everyone continuously likes to emphasize. 

Im at the border of F and T, though it's quite obvious to be im an F. Others I've met, even infjs, think I'm more of a thinker.  Compared to their strong F, I can see why they'd think that. I'd say I'm more likely to come up with the same impulse reactions they do, except instead of leaping into it naturally, I tend to stop, hold back, and think really carefully with a more T perspective. I find that the heart still wins; I don't even know why I bother. But I do, always.

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Posted (edited)

On 1/4/2017 at 5:26 AM, scroses said:

No. I learned at the mbti workshop I attended that one should strive to be more borderline. Because it's not about being a complete T or a complete F, but being well balanced so that you can get along with others in such a way where you enhance the strengths of your team. Nobody does anything alone is the idea everyone continuously likes to emphasize. 

Im at the border of F and T, though it's quite obvious to be im an F. Others I've met, even infjs, think I'm more of a thinker.  Compared to their strong F, I can see why they'd think that. I'd say I'm more likely to come up with the same impulse reactions they do, except instead of leaping into it naturally, I tend to stop, hold back, and think really carefully with a more T perspective. I find that the heart still wins; I don't even know why I bother. But I do, always.

I think being a strong "F" INFJ can be really destructive sometimes. Unfortunately I am that type. You're absolutely right that we should strive for balance, especially INFJs because we're just so damned sensitive everything is setting us off all the time. It can work against us actually, and get in the way of our strong desire to do the greater good for people around us.

I read somewhere that INFJs are the rarest type because it's just hard to be an INFJ in the world. We're walking contradictions: pessimistic optimists, judgemental humanists, we're absolutely people-oriented but we're introverts. I think INTJs probably just don't have a lot of the "inner struggle" that INFJs have, and that probably lends them to being more productive in an objective, real world sense. INFJs can be thinkers, but they just value the special uniqueness of every person (which is essentially some kind of irrational mystical quality) over pure logic.

Edited by millefleur

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