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Ted

masturbation and attraction

147 posts in this topic

I read this article last night http://themodernsavage.com/2009/02/04/effects-of-male-masturbation-on-attracting-women/

One of the things it suggests is that abstaining from ejaculation gives men the ability to naturally attract females. Since in some cases, the ultimate goal is sex, they're simply abstaining from masturbating.

I want to know what are some of your experiences with abstaining and if you felt that it has a positive effect on your overall life.

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Abstaining from masturbation makes me become sex-obsessed, until I have a wet dream and the cycle starts all over again. If being sex-obsessed attracts women (or men), I've yet to realize it.

If anything, abstaining from masturbation makes you chase after potential partners more actively.

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If nothing else, the act of actively seeking partners would still increase the odds of having intercourse somewhat. However, it seems a fair number of people (in the comment of the article i linked) believe that when abstaining, women can somehow "sense" it and are more attracted to it "(perhaps not consciously)".

edit (adding on): There have been times in my life where I felt strange girls pay extra attention to me where I suspect they may be interested in me. There have also been times where I've felt girls are either indifferent or (for some reason) disgusted with me. I have never paid attention whether those were times when I yanked everyday or had a break. Because I know I have unintentionally gone weeks without yanking it. Obviously it doesn't work like magic but I think even a slight correlation is better than nothing.

It could very well just be that when I'm horny, I paid more attention to girls and suspect their interest more frequently.

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Probably in much the same way being hungry makes you more likely to find a hamburger *

* best analogy ever

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Probably in much the same way being hungry makes you more likely to find a hamburger *

* best analogy ever

+1

I think the benefits of abstaining from masturbation out way the quick fix it provides.

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Probably in much the same way being hungry makes you more likely to find a hamburger *

* best analogy ever

That's actually a good analogy because hamburgers never find people. There's also another level of it that applies to me. Because I'm pretty cheap with my money, I rarely go out (simply transportation costs money). For that reason, I rarely get (literally and metaphorically) hamburgers.

---------- Post added 08-04-2011 at 10:51 AM ----------

+1

I think the benefits of abstaining from masturbation out way the quick fix it provides.

What about non-sexual benefits? Do you think abstaining gives you motivation and energy to do other things (like working out, personal projects, etc).

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What about non-sexual benefits? Do you think abstaining gives you motivation and energy to do other things (like working out, personal projects, etc).

Yeah, I definitely do. I also take pride in my self-restraint. I find I have more energy and want to go out accomplish something. Probably a psychological sublimation of what I really want.

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I wish abstaining from it allowed me to just sublimate my sexual energy into other activities...

Sadly, I have never been able to benefit from this. I just won't be able to do my work properly, my mind keeps swirling with sexual thoughts.

I have had to stop writing a paper, or doing research because it gets so bad that if a girl walks into my peripheral vision, even for a moment, my mind will get set off like a buzzer, and I won't be able to think about anything but sex for five minutes. I'll eventually battle it down, get a tiny bit of work done, and then get overwhelmed.

I have had to masturbate in some of the more empty bathrooms of my school's library just to be able to finish projects.

Also, if I try to really "fight" this demented obsession, it only gets worse, and worse, to the point where I just won't do any work at all, and will only think about sex, and do escapist activities to try and not think about it.

I am skittish, paranoid, nervous, and shaky during this period.

I envy the hell out of the people that can just sublimate this into doing other things...

On the other hand, I also suspect I am living with a very fucked up body that has only gone into puberty late in life. I did not have a libido, or much of one, until I turned 19/20.

Previous to that, I almost didn't even care about sex. I did like girls, but I didn't think about having sex at all, I was just idealistically attracted to romance.

Most people report being horny as hell at age 12...to me this sounds utterly alien.

I kind of wish that had been true, I would've preferred to have gone through this stupid phase earlier in life, as opposed to in the middle of it.

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Eudoxus: Everyone has the very very strong urges, usually 2-4 days after they last ejaculated. Most people also report that it gets easier after you pass that urge. Have you ever tried just powering through one of these urges and did it remain just as bad shortly after?

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Yes.

I have attempted this "power through" approach, and had the urges cause me to be unable to get any work done for two weeks (the whole time feeling the insane urges percolating), at which point I have to masturbate for some time. I need to ejaculate probably 4-5 times before being completely rid of the pent up energy.

It's ridiculous.

I am actually wondering whether I have some kind of condition or something. Maybe there are pills that would get rid of this. I suppose it would be great to not have a sex drive.

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I've found that being in a room sleeping with others for an extended period of time helps due to the obvious embarrassment factor.

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^^

I wish such tactics worked for me.

Not sure if that was directed at me or not though.

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Men who are relaxed and interested in talking have a better chance of getting sex with me.

Those who are aggressive and want nothing more than pussy do not have a chance.

Choosing techniques also chooses possible partners. Many PUAs do not think that through.

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(mouth agape)... so...much...I never...knew...

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Choosing techniques also chooses possible partners. Many PUAs do not think that through.

I am guessing it is more likely they just don't give a shit/prefer those types of partners.

In regards to the OP's study, I am going to hazard a guess that those same options PUA's target, are gotten more readily by being overly horny, hence more aggressive in trying to find someone to get you off.

Though it could go the other way around, if abstaining makes you calmer (the exact opposite of my personal case).

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Choosing techniques also chooses possible partners. Many PUAs do not think that through.

Most PUAs are in it for the short-term. They don't care about your personality or hobbies or dreams, they care if you can give good head for the next few nights before they move on.

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The very premise of this seems like a load of BS. I did not read the article, and I won't waste my time since I know that this is NOT the case for me.

Being horny and not satiating that drive would cause me to send the "I just want to use you for sex" message to a girl instead of just being interested in her overall. How doing that is supposed to get you laid more often - loose women aside - is a foreign and illogical concept to me.

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In regards to the OP's study, I am going to hazard a guess that those same options PUA's target, are gotten more readily by being overly horny, hence more aggressive in trying to find someone to get you off.

It's not a study. It's a personal theory. No support was given for it.

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I generally make it a policy to not flog the log after 6 pm if I plan on going out that night. I don't think it makes you less attractive to women, but I think it makes you less motivated to try and get laid when you've recently realeased the goods.

It wouldn't surprise me if a mans testosterone levels and or natural pheromones decrease for awhile after it as well, but I think it's more about the mans own mentality than it is about women being able to tell.

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For me, it has nothing to do with atractiveness -- whatever be the case, horny or calm, I don't get exposed much to the type of women I would even remotelly be interested as sex objects.

But yes, having calmed those urges myself does improve my reasoning, but at the same time the drive to do anything else other than relaxing vanishes. It's a constant struggle to ballance out flashes of urge and the inner drive to have something done vs body being lazy.

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Men who are relaxed and interested in talking have a better chance of getting sex with me.

Those who are aggressive and want nothing more than pussy do not have a chance.

Choosing techniques also chooses possible partners. Many PUAs do not think that through.

aren't you married?

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I want to know what are some of your experiences with abstaining and if you felt that it has a positive effect on your overall life.

Abstaining has the worst imaginal effect on me. I lose the ability to think clear. Unable to concentrate. My judgement becomes very clouded. I get interested in girls I'm not really interested in. I do things I normally wouldn't do etc. In short, it's awful.

Probably in much the same way being hungry makes you more likely to find a hamburger *

* best analogy ever

Indeed. The longer a man abstains from orgasm the more desperate he gets. In the end he will accept anybody just like a hungry man will eat anything.

Abstaining forever doesn't work though. Eventually the need will "take care of it self" and you would orgasm whether you like it or not. Quite possibly in your sleep.

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Indeed. The longer a man abstains from orgasm the more desperate he gets. In the end he will accept anybody just like a hungry man will eat anything.

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Hehe true. As a side note I think the best comedians/jokes are the ones that make fun of things that are actually true. Eddie Izzard and Jerry Seinfeld do this very well.

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