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Riversticks

How do you calm down when you're pissed

57 posts in this topic

I don't get pissed very often, as much as annoyed. But when I do get to the point that I'm pissed I have a hard time of figuring out how to let it go.

Im in the military deployed to Afghanistan and have to ride a bus into work with coworkers and supervisors.....

Today I woke up in a great mood, about 30 mins later one of my supervisors, said something to me and in a split second I was annoyed, .... Sarcastic remarks.... he kept pressing the issue... 0-60MPH instant Pissed.

I get to work to get turnover of the daily routines, the jobs I left for the other shift to do, did not get done... Seriously pissed... In 12 hour shift they couldn't find the time to do any of it..

They leave,, 2 hours later I am done with everything I left them to do.

Through out the day little things just keep popping up and just adding to the pile. Insignifficant on their own, but piled on to a crappy start of the day, Im having a hard time letting it all go.

Anyone have suggestions on how they deal and let go of being pissed off?

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I shrug it off, I really do. I've come to the conclusion that others will do what they do and there's not much that you can do about it. Why raise your own blood pressure because of someone else's idiocy? It's counterintuitive. It's counterproductive.

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Im past the point of shrugging it off, and looking for more of a how do you deal with it to let it go and calm down once im already pissed off, I do appreciate the attempt of how it shouldnt bother me, but what do you do once it has gotten to the point?

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Im past the point of shrugging it off, and looking for more of a how do you deal with it to let it go and calm down once im already pissed off, I do appreciate the attempt of how it shouldnt bother me, but what do you do once it has gotten to the point?

I am almost always able to shrug it off. However, in the few times I'm not, I have to go somewhere by myself (preferably my room), and grind through it for an hour of so. I absolutely have to fight off urges to do things during that time. I don't let myself be angry around others, as things can happen that I'll regret. I was quite an angry child. Only over the past 4 years, repressing my anger, have I been able to almost completely stop it.

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I like to exercise. By wearing my body out to the point of falling down I find that I have used all the anger out and get my calm back.

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I play fetch with my Cocker Spaniel who is my extremely hyperactive and loving foil.

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I go for a walk and try to remind myself that nothing good comes from expressing anger or whining.

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I generally make things happen... especially if it's something that's standing in my envisioned path.

I'll find a way to go around, over, under, through, or dismiss the obstacle...

It doesn't happen immediately... I need time to develop a plan.

I feel a helluva lot better after.

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I pace a great deal. I can't help it. It's calming though. The speed and intensity of my pacing increases if I'm emotional, otherwise it looks like purposeful wandering. :p

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I finally had to just leave for a bit and walk around, popped in IPod and drowned thoughts out for a few minutes, then started to put it into perspective. I get to go to the gym in a few hours and will be able to work the rest of it out. The fact that I finished the stuff I wanted done actually got done the way I wanted, so that was a good thing too.

Any more suggestions though will definately help out next time, for me or others.

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Writing on mirrors/windows in sharpie marker seems to help if I'm pissed off due to confusion (which is the most common reason why I get pissed). I sometimes make flowcharts of my motives and feelings on things in order to reach conclusions and verify everything. I usually do so in a slightly dazed state as to not include any sort of biases I may have. Sometimes, those tiny little variations in writing size and punctuation can be incredibly revealing and settling. If I'm unsure about something, a flowchart can usually settle my uncertainties. Then I can just take some soap and wash it away, so nobody has access to my thoughts anymore. (Shockingly, no administrators at my school had ever caught me writing on the mirrors.)

Edited by jnoelle

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A mix of several of these answers. Depending on how pissed, I definitely need to get away from others and process the event that pissed me off. If it's really intense, I'll probably put on some heavy, pulse pounding music. That actually helps take my mind off of the event and the anger starts to recede.

Once I've cleared my head, I do what GrnEyz said - start to plan around whatever/whomever pissed me off. Then I just move on.

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Any situation in which I get legitimately angry, there's no shrugging it off. I almost never get angry, but when I do I can't simply ignore it. Usually I crawl back into my mind and try to calm down. If my anger involves a person, I'll usually try to understand their point of view and try to see things objectively. Often by this point I'll be so far out of my own emotions that I don't feel angry anymore, but in the even rarer case that I still am, I'll take some sort of action on it. Sometimes simple prolonged solitude helps, but oftentimes I'll make plans to avoid whatever person or situation which angered me.

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A bad mood usually snowballs all day long and I just ride it out.

I usually keep silent and think bad thoughts about the people responsible. The badder the better. I call them all names I can think of over and over again. At some point this becomes tiring so the anger drains little by little. I might take up the issue with them when I've cooled off.

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I count in French. More or less anything mundane which requires a certain measure of conscious though is good.

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I have no idea. I think it's there til I fall asleep. I always wake up happy again though :P

---------- Post added 06-26-2011 at 02:28 AM ----------

Drugs.

3 mg of oxycodone definitely does the trick.

Okay, and this sometimes as well. I don't take oxycodone though. I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to it since I'm allergic to hyrdocodone (vicodin).

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I like to leave, take my motorcycle for a ride, and get inside my own head. Then I'll return when I've calmed down and had a chance to think things through. I had a partner who would physically try to restrain me from doing so, so that we could deal with it right there and then. This is not something that works well with me and I end up snapping and saying things I don't mean if people continue to push and not allow me to get inside my own head.

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That's what a punching bag is for, isn't it? I find it extra therapeutic to paste the offender's face on said bag first. I'm really good at visualising my fantasies. And then I avoid the person as far as possible.

If you really don't see him again, pretend you punched him to death. Rage can be fun!

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When I'm pissed I'm trying to calm down, control myself, and then I'm trying to figure out what exactly has made me pissed off. It helps when you can hide your anger from others (especially when they seem to be in tense and they want to cause a fight). I don't get pissed off easily, except of some situations that I understand somebody is trying to control me or judge me unfairly. In such cases I'm trying to explain myself to this person, otherwise I ignore him/her.

When I'm in tense in any case I have realized that I have some extra energy inside me that I need to get out of me. This time is the best time to do some handiwork that I like (it becomes quite artistic finally) or do some exercising.

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Most if not all in this thread have Te. It's the perfect tool for calming down since it allows you to step back and objectively view the problem. The combination of Te and Se, work like a one-two punch, when you find a solution. This is where you channel the aggressive emotions caused by anger, towards something with positive results.

As far as the OP, sounds like you just had one of those days where everything you touch turns to crap. We all have those days and no matter what method you use to calm yourself, things can and do go wrong.

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It helps me a lot to vent to someone. Especially someone who realizes I am angry and will get over it and once I am over it, I may see things differently, but at that moment I need to vent.

---------- Post added 06-26-2011 at 07:14 AM ----------

And listen to angry music with lyrics that fit the situation.

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Oftentimes, I shrugged it off but when I can't, I take a walk..

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Usually I take it out on the person by (calmly) telling them what I think and how I feel, making snide comments, tactically lashing at their self-righteousness. When it becomes clear that it's not working, I retreat and fume about it and process it for a while, thinking about what the possible outcomes are and how to realistically achieve them. Treating feelings and perspectives as lego pieces, basically. Then after about an hour I finally settle on a course of action and an appropriate perspective to adopt in order to cope, which usually amounts to viewing them as no longer worth my emotional investment.

Then I end up forgiving and forgetting a few days later, and the cycle begins again...

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