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Winter Sun

Say something completely honest

9,546 posts in this topic

Paul Oakenfold is right outside my balcony for no apparent reason

eJ20p.jpg

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I'm slightly worried about the upcoming test, I wish I had greater amounts of stress which would motivate me to work harder. :disappointed:

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At this moment, I know very little about anything, and even less about what I am doing.

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There really is middle ground.

No man's land, that's where all the corpses and mines stay.

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No man's land, that's where all the corpses and mines stay.
That sounds unfortunate. Oh well, I suppose we're all destined to be extremists and fundamentalists.

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I can get tangled up in my own head...

The first frog I've heard this year is croaking.

While, I'm not sleepy... I feel more solid than I have in quite sometime...

I don't have a plan and I don't care:)

I'll always care more than I fear, and that will just have to do as far as a plan is concerned.

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Excedrin migraine isn't available anymore, and I just ran out.

This is not good, considering I get migraines multiple times per week.

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Living day to day, moment to moment, dream to attainable dream. Yeah, that's my life, and I may not be what others would perceive as normal, stable, or healthy; but I'm happy with it.

This is what bothers me, I'm perfectly content being nothing more than "normal", I'm perfectly happy being in the background. I can definitively say that everyone will know my name in time, everyone will read my story as an inspirational tale, everyone will aspire to be where I will be. This is the adrenaline that courses through my veins, this is the life-force that drives me. I may never be on stage, at my own gallery, or on the cover of a magazine but I can tell you for sure that you will never forget me.

This isn't narcissism, quite frankly I know how I must appear right now, but all of this pain and failure is building to something. I wouldn't allow myself to get hurt so bad and not be able to rebound tenfold, this is just not how I allow things to play out. I am in complete control of my life, in complete control of everything surrounding my life. For all intents and purposes, I am God.

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That sounds unfortunate. Oh well, I suppose we're all destined to be extremists and fundamentalists.

With courage, you can always try stepdancing

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With courage, you can always try stepdancing
Might require something a bit faster like the Irish Jig, flamenco or even tap dancing.

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I realize the time has come for me to fully deal with the abuse that happened when I was a child and teenager. I can't skim the surface any longer. I honestly would rather be held down and seared with a branding iron but in order for me to move on I know I have to do it. I'm scared.

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I realize the time has come for me to fully deal with the abuse that happened when I was a child and teenager. I can't skim the surface any longer. I honestly would rather be held down and seared with a branding iron but in order for me to move on I know I have to do it. I'm scared.

Don't be, just take small steps. It took years to get you to this point. Now take a few more to confront the demons that dwell deep within and roar to be unleashed. By the time they come to the surface they will have become manageable. Visualizing them helps. Rational thought and logic can not always do the dirty work that is required here.

---------- Post added 02-22-2012 at 06:18 PM ----------

Just for one day every year, I would like to feel no pain.

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While shopping today at Victoria's Secret I think the salesgirl helping me was my MBTI twin sister.

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How spooky is her past? And should I care? No, I shouldn't. I won't- it'll still nag me once in awhile, but who she is now is what matters.

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All of my others are significant, but I doubt I'll ever be a significant other... I'm primarily okay with that... I'd say 70:30 okay with that... That's close enough for now:)

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I used to think that those who hoped for world peace were fools.

Then I learned that simply having the desire for it can make a real difference throughout one's life.

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Spooky past nags at me even more now that she blew up for no apparent reason. All is well now, but holy crap I was getting a blast of shit and I had no idea why. She'll tell me when she's ready.

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I ate out alone last night at this nice mexican restaurant ended up getting hit on by not one gay guy but a gay couple... But then I came home and got hit on by one of my roommates hot friends, so the universe is giving me chances now.

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