Welcome to INTJ Forum

This is a community where INTJs can meet others with similar personalities and discuss a wide variety of both serious and casual topics. If you aren't an INTJ, you're welcome to join anyway if you would like to learn more about this personality type or participate in our discussions. Registration is free and will allow you to post messages, see hidden subforums, customize your account and use other features only available to our members.

xxtsubasa

Extroverts make me lose hope in humanity.

111 posts in this topic

It seems that every extrovert I meet is incompatible with me to the extent that I feel like we're a complete different species. Out of my three closest "friends", two are extroverts and drive me insane with their ridiculousness. All they ever want to do is go out. It's almost like they have no hobbies and their lives revolve around going out to socialize. Whenever I tell them that I don't want to go, they'll say stupid things like "What is there to do at home?", "You suck", "You need to go out more", etc.

Seriously, who says things like that? Why would anyone even think of insulting someone just because they want a quiet day in? Do extroverts even think before talking? Don't they know that it's rude to say things like that? Why can't they just let us introverts be?

Though in a way, I pity my "friends" for being so empty inside. They have no hobbies but socializing, while I spend my time at home pursuing arts and learning. Is it common for extroverts to have no hobbies except going out?

This was mostly a rant, but I'd like to hear how other introverts/INTJs fair with extroverts. Any tips/advice to prevent me from ripping out my full head of hair would help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The truth is, since most people are extroverts, they see extroversion as normal. If you aren't like them, they don't understand. They can't relate. You are not normal to them.

I get this all the time. I'm chronically misunderstood. Know that you are not alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Find an ENXX. We get you guys.

I second this. It sounds like you've been hanging out with one too many ESXXes.

Party on...

Edited by Mogura

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I completely understand where you're coming from, but I just fear that you may hold the same view on all people that you see as "Extrovert", in fact, alot of people tend to analyze people they know according to MBTI and then they come up with all sorts of judgmental stereotypical views about that person ..

Of course I'm not saying that you do that, but just know that you WILL meet unbearable introverts as well as very attractive extroverts, look at it this way ...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
It seems that every extrovert I meet is incompatible with me to the extent that I feel like we're a complete different species. Out of my three closest "friends", two are extroverts and drive me insane with their ridiculousness. All they ever want to do is go out. It's almost like they have no hobbies and their lives revolve around going out to socialize. Whenever I tell them that I don't want to go, they'll say stupid things like "What is there to do at home?", "You suck", "You need to go out more", etc.

John01 is right, they don't understand you and you don't understand them. The things they say are out of ignorance, although that is not an excuse for insults. You feel sorry for them and they feel sorry for you. Their lives do revolve around socializing. My SO is a big time extrovert, she lives to be around people. I'm the opposite, there aren't a whole lot of people with whom I enjoy spending much time. I prefer smaller groups and even then, in limited doses. She could enjoy going out with friends every night, while that would not appeal to me at all. Fortunately, my SO and I understand our personality differences. "Understand" might be the wrong word because it is truly hard to understand something that is so foreign to your own self, but we are aware of the differences and we respect them.

Most of us (introverts) are perfectly capable of having a good time all by ourselves. Not every is so lucky. Good for them that they don't understand how much better it is to be able to entertain yourself than be reliant upon others.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people don't find value in actually being interested in or good at something that you actually want to do something in your spare time that doesn't involve anyone else.

Deep down, I find most extrovert so depressingly boring that I actually feel bad for them. Of course this is an unfair judgement, I'm absolutely sure I seem just as boring to them, but that's mostly because anything deep or interesting that I'd have to say would be so disastrously misunderstood that I don't bother saying it at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've had to deal with this far too many times... I had to move out of my old apartment because my E room mates couldn't grasp the concept of "alone time". I couldn't even socialize 24/7 if I tried.

The way I see it, E's who do nothing but socialize are underdeveloped much in the same way that an introvert who never leaves his house is; the key is finding balance, as socializing AND introspection both have a lot to offer. My more down to earth and well developed E friends are the ones who can appreciate the idea of alone time and spending a night in, and can tolerate that wish in others.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you're not noticing the E's who are actually respectful of your space - or maybe you don't realize that some of the nice guys are actually E's. You just notice the whiners. Lol

I second this. It sounds like you've been hanging out with one too many ESXXes.

Party on...

scuse you. I think you're talking ESxJs here. Or maybe just ExFx.

ESTPs, like me, are very live-and-let-live people. We can comprehend the fact that some people LIKE to sit home and read, work on their cars, whatever. I don't WANT to drag people out if they say no - I only want to be around those who are actually having fun.

I happen to be 20% Introverted (yes, 80% E...but lets look at it another way! lol), so I still understand the need for I time. Believe me, I do.

So look for more ESTPs! ENTJs are always really good about personal space as well. Same with ENTPs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I surround myself with friends when I want to space out in public, so there is a wall of people between the extraverts and myself?

I'm not sure if I am doing it right...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Whenever I tell them that I don't want to go, they'll say stupid things like "What is there to do at home?", "You suck", "You need to go out more", etc. Seriously, who says things like that? Why would anyone even think of insulting someone just because they want a quiet day in?
Maybe your taking it too seriously. My guess is they are playing around; teasing, not insulting. If they aren't, maybe you need better close friends.
Do extroverts even think before talking?
They think while they talk. Talking is their Thought. Their brain is on the outside. The very meaning of extroversion as a cognitive preference says nay to this question.
Don't they know that it's rude to say things like that?
Have you told them you don't like it? What was their response? I'm going to guess they don't know that you don't like it.
Why can't they just let us introverts be?
Its how they are. I think some direct communication could be the solution here though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The truth is, since most people are extroverts, they see extroversion as normal. If you aren't like them, they don't understand. They can't relate. You are not normal to them.

I get this all the time. I'm chronically misunderstood. Know that you are not alone.

No, there's just as many introverts as there are extroverts; it's just the Is don't get out as often, so the Es think E is the norm and that Is must have something wrong with them. And even if the Is got up and made a ruckus, saying "look here we are this is how we are" it wouldn't help, they'd just say "see, I knew you needed to get out, party hard", bastards need things tattooed to their forehead before they retain... must be the small talk and tv talk shows or something. :mad:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't care for highly extroverted people. I always feel like I need to entertain them. When I am with an introverted friend, there can be moments of comfortable silence. When I am with a highly extroverted person, I can visually see their discomfort during moments of silence. And the exact moment I initiate conversation, they instantly latch on. Desperate is the word I'd use, desperate for attention.

All of my close friends have been introverts or middle-of-the-road. I simply cannot tolerate the presence of highly introverted people beyond the level of acquaintance, co-worker, and such.

However, it is a bit melodramatic to claim they are the bane of humanity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Western society today completely revolves around the extraverts. I understand yr attitude towards them. Mostly, I feel sorry for them, that their lives are about socializing and not about thinking.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Any tips/advice to prevent me from ripping out my full head of hair would help.

When you rip your hair out, our work will be finished.

Signed,

Extroverts Are Everywhere

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thumbs up with the ENxx. Especially an ENTJ. I am enjoying a budding relationship with an ENTJ at the moment. We go out, but we go out to watch people and make assumptions of how people live by what they wear and how they look ;D Much fun.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Thumbs up with the ENxx. Especially an ENTJ. I am enjoying a budding relationship with an ENTJ at the moment. We go out, but we go out to watch people and make assumptions of how people live by what they wear and how they look ;D Much fun.

My daughter and I play a game called "your team." You imagine you are choosing teams for kickball, dodgeball, or life. And then, you choose the biggest misfits, douchebags, and losers you can find for your friend's team. Walmart, the baseball game, a nascar race: ideal locations to play.

And..the game never ends.

Edited by MortalWombat
response to deleted content

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My oldest friend is a mild extrovert and is the most trustworthy person I know--also sweet, intelligent, and fun. Mild extroverts are win. Once you've got one good extrovert friend you're set. They establish a social network so you don't have to. :nice:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a few friends who ask me to do things and when I tell them I don't want to go they don't give me any crap. They may joke that I am a house vampire, but it comes back around when they can't memorize anything and I get to make fun of their mind that only retains music lyrics and dates of social events.

Most of my friends are introverts though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Though in a way, I pity my "friends" for being so empty inside. They have no hobbies but socializing, while I spend my time at home pursuing arts and learning. Is it common for extroverts to have no hobbies except going out?

The fact that you had friends in quotes makes me question why you even choose to continue relations with them. If they're such a disappointment why not find new friends who suit your needs better?

Also most humans are just stupid apes, try not to expect most of them to value stuff like arts and learning.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The fact that you had friends in quotes makes me question why you even choose to continue relations with them. If they're such a disappointment why not find new friends who suit your needs better?

Because "friends" are usually expendable, and can be cast to the wind if their usefulness has expired. "friends" and lackeys are the same sub-species, useful, but not really required.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Friends do seem irrelevant, yet needed, still I have a small demand. It is much more interesting to experiment on them, rather than pretend to be interested in their dribble. E's are nice to talk at though, but not to. But as soon as I want to drop them I can with the snap of my fingers. No emotional attachment is ever there and I could care less. But if it is someone that has great stuff to say I will stick around until I finish collecting the info. Then I say goodday sir and walk along my marry ol' way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
E's are nice to talk at though, but not to.

My sentiments exactly. "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking AT you; when I want your opinion, I'll freakin well give it to you."

---------- Post added 04-22-2011 at 08:29 PM ----------

Is it just my stepfather, or is it common for Es to give important information at the last minute? He will give nonsense crap whenever, but important stuff is like "oh yeah, by the way...". My mother just came over and was telling us while she fed our youngest, that my stepfather had just told her that the hospital had a teddy bear check up... "like FUCKING HELL!!!" my five year old would have had fun, hell he could have takin her. Feel me seethe in silent fury... grrr :speechless:

Edited by Shadizar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I put "friends" in quotation marks because I really do want to break all connections with those "friends", but I can't. Me, those two extroverts, and my other introverted friend are a group of four that dates back to early high school. My introverted friend seems to be very attached to the two extroverts, and I am very attached to her. If I break it off with the two extroverts, it'll make my relationship with the introvert very strained, which I don't want.

I guess my main problem is that I tested 100% I every time I took the test, and all of my hobbies happen to involve doing things at home by myself.

Where can I find ENxx people? How can I tell one apart from an ESxx? I'm pretty sure that my extrovert friends are both ESxx and I do not want to meet another one in my life ever again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now