Welcome to INTJ Forum

This is a community where INTJs can meet others with similar personalities and discuss a wide variety of both serious and casual topics. If you aren't an INTJ, you're welcome to join anyway if you would like to learn more about this personality type or participate in our discussions. Registration is free and will allow you to post messages, see hidden subforums, customize your account and use other features only available to our members.

BlackFlames

Are you a mistake or were you planned?

115 posts in this topic
I was conceived on the night of their wedding. I doubt they wanted it to happen so soon, but it was not an accident.

How do you know that? Did your parents not have intercourse for at least a while after that? Was the sex that bad? ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I disagree. While we cannot simply assume that what we are told is the truth, we can take various elements of a reported story from its various, connected storytellers, along with its situation in the time and space of particular cultural histories (race, religion, nation, time, region, class, profession, gender, ect) ....and make some more or less objective evaluations of that data pool. You also seem to forget, that not all stories are told orally, but that they can be told and sealed in the past and then experienced by people in later times. Stories also often have more than one teller; more than one perspective, and more than one motive and goal. Ascertaining truth then is a matter of weighing everything in order to try to achieve a reasonable degree of certainty or at least, plausibility.

In addition, it is possible that some might WANT to hope that they were an accident. If you were born to serial killers and you yourself did not fit that mold, would YOU have preferred to have been planned? Perhaps many would want to have NOT been planned in such circumstances.

You answered your own question. You don't know. All real evidence on reproductive habits, suggest Dad poked Mom, mom got pregnant, they both went 'oh shit' and your probably here by the grace of them being told abortion was bad, or 'what the fuck, why not' or 'yeah we wanted a baby' but it wasn't planned in any way.

The real sad point I think is that if more would be parents had real career options, the chance to sail around the world on a yacht, to compete in the Olympics, a modeling career....yeah most of you would have been squirming to get out of the way of that coat hanger bumping you in the head. Sorry.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think this is an excellent question for a forum like this. I was definitely unplanned. My mother was 41 and father was 50 when they had me. I was the kid in school that looked like he brought his grandparents to school functions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's a difference between being a mistake and an accident. Or a happy accident for that matter!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So your thinking that dad was walking through the kitchen, slipped, fell onto mom, his cock slipped into her, and then they had an 'accident'.

As opposed to two people having unprotected sex, then they made a 'mistake'?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Accident. My parents were going for a girl after having two boys. When they got a girl two years later, they gave up for a while. Then, as my mom got older, I guess she thought they'd have one last roll in The Last Chance Saloon and had a final son.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
So your thinking that dad was walking through the kitchen, slipped, fell onto mom, his cock slipped into her, and then they had an 'accident'.

:laugh:

As opposed to two people having unprotected sex, then they made a 'mistake'?

If I understood correctly, I believe a mistake is an unfortunate accident, as opposed to a fortunate one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
If I understood correctly, I believe a mistake is an unfortunate accident, as opposed to a fortunate one.

The possibilities as I see them are:

1. Planned (with positive consequences)

2. Mistake (wrongly planned)

3. Accident (bad consequences)

4. Happy accident

I did not care to know myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Only the first child in my family was planned. The fact that I wasn't planned didn't seem to negatively affect my parents' attitude towards me so that's cool.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You answered your own question. You don't know. All real evidence on reproductive habits, suggest Dad poked Mom, mom got pregnant, they both went 'oh shit' and your probably here by the grace of them being told abortion was bad, or 'what the fuck, why not' or 'yeah we wanted a baby' but it wasn't planned in any way.

The real sad point I think is that if more would be parents had real career options, the chance to sail around the world on a yacht, to compete in the Olympics, a modeling career....yeah most of you would have been squirming to get out of the way of that coat hanger bumping you in the head. Sorry.

I agree to disagree with the general point you are making if you are saying that we cannot have a good idea of whether we are planned or not. I never claimed that we can KNOW ANYTHING beyond a shadow of a doubt, because in reality THAT kind of knowledge of anything is impossible since any claim to any degree of certainty about ANY knowledge is based only on evidence that we have collected and can subject to critical reasoning, not on all the possible evidence that we don't have.

As for why I was born, frankly I don't really care. I just know that I was born and I am here now. My parents never bothered to tell me that I was planned, but they were together for many years before they had us and they had been very clear to everyone about their intentions with children, so yes, it is in that case, safe to say that yes, I do know with a good degree of certainty that my brother and I were planned....but who really cares if we were or not since we are already here and my parents were the antichrists of parentage?

I don't have patience for unintelligent, silly games that ignore basic critical reasoning. If you wish to be further absurd, you may do so without me as a playmate. Others are more likely to humor you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Never asked my parents. Don't plan on it either, though I'm certain I was an accident. This is just from a simple comparison of my age and their anniversary.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can take a chance...where she gets prego or not

You can have an accident where the rubber breaks.

You can plan to have a kid, and try to get her pregnant

You can't choose gender, so any 'trying' to that effect is trying to get pregnant, not trying to have a boy or girl, as you can't make the boy sperm out run the girl sperm or visa versa.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Both my brother and I were planned, although my parents certainly never acted like it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Years and years of planning. I wish they had hurried up with planning and had me earlier. In a way, weren't we all unplanned for? My parents thought I would grow up to be a respectable gentleman, who would provide them every luxury in life by the time I turned 20... Big mistake.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unplanned. 15yr age gap between me and the 2nd youngest sibling. In a fit of anger my mother told me they considered switching my life support machine off, and that I did not understand how much trouble money was to keep me alive and 'it was such a mistake that you were born'. Add on the fact my mum had her uterus removed when I was 3yrs old, they clearly did not want to make the same 'mistake' again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I may have planned, but I am thoroughly convinced my parents think I was a mistake. :alien:

Luckily for them, though, my sister was planned as well, and she didn't turn out to be the mistake I was. :laugh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I believe everything happens for a reason.

Yes, causality exists. But not the "reason" you're thinking of. That would be unreasonable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I was so planned my parents had 2 years of educational savings, for my eventual trip to university, stashed away before I was born.

o_o

(In case anyone is wondering, Dad is an INTJ and a teacher. He thinks really long term)

I had a housemate who's mother bought his piano before we was conceived. Yes, she's Asian. He ended up dropping out of Cornell first year due to a pot and WoW addiction (and undoubtedly rebellion).

Woops!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My parents never really talked to me about that, and I'm sure no matter which was true, they would tell me I was planned. I know for a fact that my older siblings were planned (my dad suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, so he was desperate for a male heir, the only one being the child right before me). I did some calculations and found that I was conceived around New Years, aka the time people like to get really drunk and possibly have unprotected sex. Then I found out later that shortly after I was born my dad got a vasectomy. So yeah.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Planned though I think they would've preferred a boy. :blank:

:(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wedding night conception if I am to believe my mother.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's always planned - and it's always an accident, just a matter of perspective.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Accident. Mum wanted to abort, dad wanted to keep. Don't care too much now, but being told this as an 11 year old wasn't the best timing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wedding night conception if I am to believe my mother.

Again, unless they stopped having sex for a longer while after that, nobody can know that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now