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Are you too uptight and cannot have fun?

51 posts in this topic

Do you feel that you're too serious, uptight and self aware and you cannot really have fun? I feel that and sometimes I just wish I would be less like that, let my hair down and just have fun like going to a party and go wild. Most of the time I feel too self aware to have fun. Is like it's normal for everyone but I don't because it would just look ridiculous to act wild or whatever.

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I have lots of fun.

.

.

.

In unconventional ways.

I've never been a "have fun like going to a party and go wild" kind of person. But as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing wrong with that. I enjoy many things and don't think of myself as uptight because I prefer not to do X that lots of others appear to enjoy.

Knowing one's own preferences is the first step toward satisfying them (and thereby enjoying oneself and having fun XD).

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Try and imagine yourself on your 80th birthday, you remember that time you think you made a fool of yourself. Did it matter? Did it effect your life? Did anyone actually care what you did 15 minutes after you did it? Do you think anyone will care after your dead?

You should do anything and everything that you enjoy because at the end of the day it won't really matter, the only thing that matters is that you enjoyed your life.

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I have plenty of fun, but not like how others do it. I have been called uptight for not blending in, but I don't see any use in drinking, dancing, smoking, and dating.

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Do you feel that you're too serious, uptight and self aware and you cannot really have fun? I feel that and sometimes I just wish I would be less like that, let my hair down and just have fun like going to a party and go wild. Most of the time I feel too self aware to have fun. Is like it's normal for everyone but I don't because it would just look ridiculous to act wild or whatever.

Yes, my ESTJ mother tried to instill this in me.

It didn't work.

At the most I simply remained quiet until I left home. Then I had some great roommates and got over whatever shreds of being "too serious" I had left.

I never tried to instill it in either of my INTJ kids. Our daughter is unrestrained as the wind and has a great time.

Were either or both of your parents Traditionalists in the same vein my mom is?

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Try and imagine yourself on your 80th birthday, you remember that time you think you made a fool of yourself. Did it matter? Did it effect your life? Did anyone actually care what you did 15 minutes after you did it? Do you think anyone will care after your dead?

You should do anything and everything that you enjoy because at the end of the day it won't really matter, the only thing that matters is that you enjoyed your life.

I must say. I really like dancing goofy and making a fool of myself. But I don't enjoy bouncing up and down to a catchy song, I don't enjoy being on the dance floor jumping. I can't do it, I don't know how to do most of the things that describes a 'party', I can't do it. I don't want to. Bring me the microphone and an ugly pair of glasses and I'll entertain the hell out of people. What I can do, is put on a funny costume and act crazy and goofy, that I can do. But the other stuff, no.

I can act, I think it's funny. But 'me', I don't do that stuff. Perhaps my entertaining-mode is there to coop with my shyness.

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But I don't enjoy bouncing up and down to a catchy song, I don't enjoy being on the dance floor jumping. I can't do it, I don't know how to do.

Well, me either, but then disco was big then so who cared? (Disco SUCKS) I never went on to learn anything later except Mosh 101, which requires energy but no dancing skills.

Most of the things that describes a 'party', I can't do it. I don't want to.

Well, I wouldn't either if it's a stereotypical excuse for a party. I don't see the fascination in getting blotto standing around looking stupid unable to hear anything anyone says because the music is just that loud. Not that I mind loud music at all, but that's a "concert" not a "social event." (Or it might be my kids practicing.) If you're blotto to boot it seems more like an anti-experience, frankly.

Bring me the microphone and an ugly pair of glasses and I'll entertain the hell out of people. What I can do, is put on a funny costume and act crazy and goofy, that I can do. But the other stuff, no.

Hm, you might like the sorts of parties I go to then.

If you're in ATL on December 21st, 2012 consider yourself invited to my End of the World Party. Costumes are not optional. :laugh: The food will be epic. There will be a variety of games for those interested and other than that pretty much anything could break out. It usually does. Random karaoke. Comic routines. Wii bowling. An archery contest broke out once. That kinda freaked my neighbor until I explained the safety precautions. If someone wants something a little quieter, the garden out front is designed just for that.

Or if you don't want to wait that long, my daughter is planning a Steampunk Tea Party later this year. This time I insist she do more of the sewing. She's the theatre student and needs the practice costuming.

And then there's my favorite holiday...Halloween. We can always use some help for the Haunted Yard and then the party really starts up after. (I'm going to miss it when our son graduates from college and probably moves to Japan. His roommates are a hoot.)

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Yes, my ESTJ mother tried to instill this in me.

It didn't work.

At the most I simply remained quiet until I left home. Then I had some great roommates and got over whatever shreds of being "too serious" I had left.

I never tried to instill it in either of my INTJ kids. Our daughter is unrestrained as the wind and has a great time.

Were either or both of your parents Traditionalists in the same vein my mom is?

Not traditionalists but boring people. I don't know if it has to do with my parents, but I just find that doing silly stuff is plain ridiculous and doesn't show you as an intelligent person. But on the other hand is draining to always be self aware and controlled. I'm beginning to not give a damn.

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If you're in ATL on December 21st, 2012 consider yourself invited to my End of the World Party. Costumes are not optional. :laugh: The food will be epic. There will be a variety of games for those interested and other than that pretty much anything could break out. It usually does. Random karaoke. Comic routines. Wii bowling. An archery contest broke out once. That kinda freaked my neighbor until I explained the safety precautions. If someone wants something a little quieter, the garden out front is designed just for that.

Or if you don't want to wait that long, my daughter is planning a Steampunk Tea Party later this year. This time I insist she do more of the sewing. She's the theatre student and needs the practice costuming.

And then there's my favorite holiday...Halloween. We can always use some help for the Haunted Yard and then the party really starts up after. (I'm going to miss it when our son graduates from college and probably moves to Japan. His roommates are a hoot.)

Holy moly! I don't want to miss an End of the World Party! Unfortunately, I'm afraid I live in Sweden and it would be quite a distance to hitchhike. But if I'm in the US for some reason, I'll come, count on it! If so, you may want to hook me up with your daughter aswell. Or no you won't, you know all about me, I'm you. Damn personality forum!

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I guess I'm in the "uptight" category since I've never been and never desired to go to a party. In fact what is even fun with hanging around that many people? So in the sense that partying = fun, then no I'm not able to have fun.

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As an ENFP sometimes I think I can get to the point where I'm almost having too much fun. But it can happen to me that I am too uptight too sometimes.

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I suppose I could be perceived that way. Most of the times I'm having fun, it's not in group activities (there are rare exceptions, though).

I did go out to a couple of nightclubs once a few years back, just to see if I'd been missing anything, but there just wasn't any kind of appeal or attraction. Likewise bars, even if they're work invites or venues for planned social events. They're just vaguely irritating, if anything. Part of it might be the noise level - I like to be able to hear when the person next to me is talking.

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Dang, please excuse my cynical mood tonight.

Is this thread for real? What was the point of this? To get into some love fest about how we are all too uptight to have fun and where so INTJish? Everyone has fun. Thinking "wild and party" is this only way to have fun is ridiculous. Everyone has fun at some point in their life. I'm on this forum, its fun. Someone's getting drunk at a party, its fun. How are we wasting our time believing that there is a universal definition of fun.

This is fun.

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Dang, please excuse my cynical mood tonight.

Is this thread for real? What was the point of this? To get into some love fest about how we are all too uptight to have fun and where so INTJish? Everyone has fun. Thinking "wild and party" is this only way to have fun is ridiculous. Everyone has fun at some point in their life. I'm on this forum, its fun. Someone's getting drunk at a party, its fun. How are we wasting our time believing that there is a universal definition of fun.

This is fun.

Lol. Cynical mood excused. I agree; I'm uptight, and don't have fun in the way a lot of people have fun, but I still have a blast doing lots of things. Everyone can have fun. I hate parties and bars and clubs, but I have fun nonetheless.

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I can see why some people might think I'm uptight: dislike parties, sports, drinking, etc... but I don't consider any of those things fun; thus, I don't participate in them.

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I'm a definite introvert, but I like parties! I enjoy plenty of the typical I stuff like alone-time as well.

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Dang, please excuse my cynical mood tonight.

Is this thread for real? What was the point of this? To get into some love fest about how we are all too uptight to have fun and where so INTJish? Everyone has fun. Thinking "wild and party" is this only way to have fun is ridiculous. Everyone has fun at some point in their life. I'm on this forum, its fun. Someone's getting drunk at a party, its fun. How are we wasting our time believing that there is a universal definition of fun.

This is fun.

On my OP, I wrote: "...sometimes I just wish I would be less like that, let my hair down and just have fun like going to a party and go wild."

The party was just an example "like going to a party", not the world definition of fun neither I mean that having fun has to mean a party. I used that example because is a good one, but there are at least for me lots of other situations where people have fun and I cannot let me hair down. Another example: watching a game in a stadium. Some people sing, scream, get up, dance, etc. I just find all this too ridiculous for me to do and I just want to sit down and watch the game commenting it with a friend sitting next to me but no need to look like a screaming monkey. But sometimes I wonder if they're having a lot more fun than I am.

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Do you feel that you're too serious, uptight and self aware and you cannot really have fun? I feel that and sometimes I just wish I would be less like that, let my hair down and just have fun like going to a party and go wild. Most of the time I feel too self aware to have fun. Is like it's normal for everyone but I don't because it would just look ridiculous to act wild or whatever.

^ Been here, done this. And I am now suffering the consequences of my irresponsible actions. The other day i was just telling the dude I luv and now liv with how i wish i had met him and only him, back in my younger years. Maybe I'd enjoy life a little more now.

Unfortunately I met far too many others, and yeah - not a good thing, methinks.

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Do you feel that you're too serious, uptight and self aware and you cannot really have fun?

In the typical college-type party setting, yes. I can have a load of fun around close friends, but in a larger gathering? ugh. I've been able to integrate a little better lately, but it tends to feel trivial.

Ill probably elaborate later when it isnt 4am.

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I can certainly have fun, but I'm not going to go to parties simply because it's meant to be "fun" according to someone else's definition.

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Is this thread for real? What was the point of this?

To compare general definitions of fun with ones which appeal to INTJs?

To commiserate over shared stories of being told to go do something extremely unappealing in order to "have fun", simply because it's the other person's idea of what fun is and they apparently can't conceive that some people just aren't interested?

To explore whether we're perceived as less fun than other people, and whether we should address that, and if so, how?

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I am quite uptight about many things, but that hasn't stopped me from having a ridiculous amount of fun in life.

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I don't really stand in people's way of having fun. I just do what I want.

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Yeah...the thing is, I do what I think a lot of INTJs do to try and get through their twenties, which is basically observing others, copying/attempting to conform somewhat, and I do do genuinely like dancing and getting a bit tipsey occassionally....

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