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INTJ men with INFP women

36 posts in this topic

Are there any succeeding relationships and/or marriages of the INTJ/INFP mix.? (Preferrably, if the man is INTJ and the woman INFP.)

Can you tell me what it is like: affection, connections, conversation, the overall autonomy of the relationship?

The Do's and Don'ts of how to treat and care for eachother.

What attracted you to eachother and how do you make it work/last?

What are your opinions of eachother?

Plus, whatever advice you're willing to give for me or those who want to enter into this kind of relationship/mix.

I'd love all opinions if you're willing to share! Thanks in advance.

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An INTJ will generally be accommodating to his/her partner if (s)he is aware of his/her needs. The main thing to remember is that you can't count on your INTJ to fulfill your emotional needs instinctively. They will need to make a conscious effort to be more affectionate and warm, just like you will need to make a conscious effort to be more logical in your arguments with them. The beauty of dealing with NTs in general is that you can be far more direct than with most people, so you can tell your INTJ upfront what your needs are and what (s)he needs to do to meet you halfway. Don't be afraid to explicitly spell out, in a logical manner, what your needs are and how they need to be meet in the relationship.

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I am an INTJ, and my wife of nearly 33 years is an INFP. We are perfect for each other.

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An INTJ will generally be accommodating to his/her partner if (s)he is aware of his/her needs.

This is the best advice i can give, too. Committed INTJs will do almost anything for our mates, but we have to know what our mates need/want. Clear communication is very very important. INFPs don't like to be confrontational, but INTJs need clear direction in matters of the heart. You're going to have to lead the way when it comes to emotional needs.

Also keep in mind that if he says something, you can take what he says literally. Unless he's clearly alluding to something or dropping hints, he's probably being direct and honest when he speaks. It takes a lot of the stress out of dealing with us, because we don't like to play games or dance around subjects. What you see is what you get.

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This is the best advice i can give, too. Committed INTJs will do almost anything for our mates, but we have to know what our mates need/want. Clear communication is very very important. INFPs don't like to be confrontational, but INTJs need clear direction in matters of the heart. You're going to have to lead the way when it comes to emotional needs.

Also keep in mind that if he says something, you can take what he says literally. Unless he's clearly alluding to something or dropping hints, he's probably being direct and honest when he speaks. It takes a lot of the stress out of dealing with us, because we don't like to play games or dance around subjects. What you see is what you get.

I agree with all of this. Absolutely spot on.

Fortunately my INFP seems to have figured that out right away.

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This is the best advice i can give, too. Committed INTJs will do almost anything for our mates, but we have to know what our mates need/want. Clear communication is very very important.

Also keep in mind that if he says something, you can take what he says literally. Unless he's clearly alluding to something or dropping hints, he's probably being direct and honest when he speaks. It takes a lot of the stress out of dealing with us, because we don't like to play games or dance around subjects. What you see is what you get.

That's very well put JTG, thanks!

INFPs don't like to be confrontational, but INTJs need clear direction in matters of the heart. You're going to have to lead the way when it comes to emotional needs.

This is something that I wouldn't be afraid of doing, I value honest communication and set it as a high priority; however, as to "being confrontational," I have to ask: it wouldn't be seen as discouraging or frustrating by just clearly stating our needs, upfront and flat-out? Something like "I need affection," for example? I'd be worried if something like that would be taken the wrong way or cause disagreements since, to me, it would feel like "taking him by the hand" or like if I'm giving directions. This wouldn't be taken that way, would it?

So then, overall, it's OK to be upfront with emotional needs like that? Can you elaborate more on this, please? :)

Plus, for any future references, if you (or anyone else here) needs points of views from an INFP, I'd be happy to help and return the favor.

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I have to ask: it wouldn't be seen as discouraging or frustrating by just clearly stating our needs, upfront and flat-out?
This depends on your INTJ and the relationship the two of you have. In my experience, INFPs need a lot of emotional space, so they're pretty good about not infringing too much on INTJ's emotional space. If you two are comfortable enough to express emotion with each other, then stating your needs clearly will more than likely be welcome.

If you were an FJ type i might be telling you to hold back some, but FP types usually connect pretty well with INTJs because of the Fi we share.

Something like "I need affection," for example? I'd be worried if something like that would be taken the wrong way or cause disagreements since, to me, it would feel like "taking him by the hand" or like if I'm giving directions. This wouldn't be taken that way, would it?
It very well may be taken as you taking him by the hand, but (speaking for myself) that's not necessarily a bad thing. Even when i want to provide for others' emotional needs, i often don't know how they want me to go about it. I fully recognize that i'm not the best at emotional matters, so it can be comforting for a partner to point me in the right direction.

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Also keep in mind that if he says something, you can take what he says literally. Unless he's clearly alluding to something or dropping hints, he's probably being direct and honest when he speaks. It takes a lot of the stress out of dealing with us, because we don't like to play games or dance around subjects. What you see is what you get.

Thank you JTG, a lot of the advice you have given is very helpful and gives a lot of insight of INTJs. Which is great, because I like to learn and grow in understanding how to care for those I really care about under the INTJ MBTI. For example: I personally would not have learned to take what they/he says literally, without your input and this forum. Now, I can't speak for all INFPs regarding this, but for me personally, before knowing this I would have constantly meditated on his comments/compliments/questions wondering if he meant it “this way” or “that way.” Now I know, that he will most likely “be direct” and yes, it will “[take] a lot of the stress out” from now on. So thank you! :)

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Are there any succeeding relationships and/or marriages of the INTJ/INFP mix.? (Preferrably, if the man is INTJ and the woman INFP.)

Can you tell me what it is like: affection, connections, conversation, the overall autonomy of the relationship?

The Do's and Don'ts of how to treat and care for eachother.

What attracted you to eachother and how do you make it work/last?

What are your opinions of eachother?

Plus, whatever advice you're willing to give for me or those who want to enter into this kind of relationship/mix.

I'd love all opinions if you're willing to share! Thanks in advance.

You practically walked into a nest of mating INTJ/INFPs. :p

There's a LOT to learn in the threads here. Do a search for "INFP relationships," and you'll be good to go for a loooong while. I know there are a thousand questions going through your mind, and you'll find a good number of answers in the threads.

The questions you asked in the OP are fairly broad. It might be easier for readers to answer specific questions, and then you will get a truer feel for the INTJ/INFP mix. :)

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Also keep in mind that if he says something, you can take what he says literally. Unless he's clearly alluding to something or dropping hints, he's probably being direct and honest when he speaks. It takes a lot of the stress out of dealing with us, because we don't like to play games or dance around subjects. What you see is what you get.

Also, what about the opposite? As in, would he take whatever I say literally as well? Would I be viewed in the same way(s)?

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Also, what about the opposite? As in, would he take whatever I say literally as well? Would I be viewed in the same way(s)?

You mean like if you're upset at him for some insensitivity on his part (it happens) and when he asks what's up you say you're alright? Yeah, he's more than likely going to believe you.

I've been burned by that myself, and i've had to learn to really look at my INFP when i think she's upset, because she's not going to tell me under any circumstances if she is pissed off. Still though, even if i can tell that she's upset, i often don't know why. Maybe she's upset at me, or maybe she has just had a bad day and doesn't want to burden me with her troubles. Either way, there's not much i can do about it until she tells me. Even if the only thing i can do about it is listen to her and offer some sympathy, there's no way to pull that kind of information out of an INFP who doesn't want to talk about it.

Basically, INTJ needs INFP to be verbal about some things, or we're never going to get it.

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You mean like if you're upset at him for some insensitivity on his part (it happens) and when he asks what's up you say you're alright? Yeah, he's more than likely going to believe you.

I've been burned by that myself, and i've had to learn to really look at my INFP when i think she's upset, because she's not going to tell me under any circumstances if she is pissed off. Still though, even if i can tell that she's upset, i often don't know why. Maybe she's upset at me, or maybe she has just had a bad day and doesn't want to burden me with her troubles. Either way, there's not much i can do about it until she tells me. Even if the only thing i can do about it is listen to her and offer some sympathy, there's no way to pull that kind of information out of an INFP who doesn't want to talk about it.

Basically, INTJ needs INFP to be verbal about some things, or we're never going to get it.

YES!!! This is a perfect example! Thanks! JTG, are you a mind-reader? :)

It's important that you advised this, because for me, I find it very hard to open up and tell people what's going on inside sometimes, even when an honest expression of it is what I really want and long to do. However, there are some points where I wouldn't even want to speak, period, and remain silent. Although, this behavior will apply to many things as well. I'm not sure if many INFPs are the same, but I notice that we/I am like a volcano - things may be stagnant and calm on the exterior (the facade), but underneath it's a whole different story: something's always brewing and boiling - thoughts, ideas, 1000 of questions, feelings... Which would explain why it's easy for others to believe me when I walk into a room and answer the usual "how are you"s with "fine," when my day has been shredded, and no one will suspect a thing.

I see now, then, JTG, that it would be very wise not to do this when with an INTJ... very.

It applies to the obvious situations as well: Once I fall for a guy, the silent mode turns on. I HATE this, because I would want nothing more than to be more direct in this context and exhibit even the slightest bit of care - but that won't happen easily until the hard shell breaks. I imagine that this would be a BIG frustration if his feelings were reciprocated, wouldn't it? :embarassed:

Which brings me to ask: What can I look for to interpret if an INTJ is interested?

(More quiet than usual when around the significant other... ? Ignoring the other... ? etc.)

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Which brings me to ask: What can I look for to interpret if an INTJ is interested?

Heh heh. Do the search. There are about eight bazillion posts on this topic alone, LOL.

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I'm not sure if many INFPs are the same, but I notice that we/I am like a volcano - things may be stagnant and calm on the exterior (the facade), but underneath it's a whole different story: something's always brewing and boiling - thoughts, ideas, 1000 of questions, feelings... Which would explain why it's easy for others to believe me when I walk into a room and answer the usual "how are you"s with "fine," when my day has been shredded, and no one will suspect a thing.

I see now, then, JTG, that it would be very wise not to do this when with an INTJ... very.

It applies to the obvious situations as well: Once I fall for a guy, the silent mode turns on. I HATE this, because I would want nothing more than to be more direct in this context and exhibit even the slightest bit of care - but that won't happen easily until the hard shell breaks. I imagine that this would be a BIG frustration if his feelings were reciprocated, wouldn't it? :embarassed:

I have this problem with my INTJ friend/correspondent/crush. He writes something that inspires about 100 different comments and questions in my mind. But I don't want to overwhelm him so I pick one or two things and write back in what I hope is a concise logical sequence. Sometimes I get the sense that he wishes I was saying something else or responding to a different aspect of what he said. I feel like saying "Tell me what you want me to say, because chances are it is within the realm of what I would've said if I'd said everything that came to mind when I read what you wrote." I like him but it is sort of frustrating. :speechless:

---------- Post added 04-27-2010 at 11:39 PM ----------

Heh heh. Do the search. There are about eight bazillion posts on this topic alone, LOL.

And they contradict each other! :suspicious: What I learned was the only way to know for sure is to ask but who wants to do that? Not me.

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Sometimes I get the sense that he wishes I was saying something else or responding to a different aspect of what he said. I feel like saying "Tell me what you want me to say, because chances are it is within the realm of what I would've said if I'd said everything that came to mind when I read what you wrote." I like him but it is sort of frustrating. :speechless:

If you get the feeling he wants you to say something else, then it may be that he's wanting you to speak more openly. I hate telling others what i want to hear, because so many will then say it whether it's genuine or not. There are times when i very badly want to know what's on somebody's mind, but it's hard to ask what's on their mind in a way that doesn't betray what i'm looking for. As soon as i tell them what i'm looking for, i open myself to the fear that they'll give me the answer i want just because i want it, not because it reflects reality.

If he's into you, he's likely not looking for an excuse to judge you harshly. If you can say what's on your mind and why it makes sense to you (worded in a way that will make some sense to him) then there's likely no wrong answer you could give.

Which brings me to ask: What can I look for to interpret if an INTJ is interested?

I wish i could give a definite answer to this, but it varies wildly from one specimen to the next. In issues regarding iNtuition or Thinking, it's not hard to figure a probability on how an INTJ may react in a certain situation. Those are our comfort zones, and we'll have an easier time functioning in areas concerning our NT strengths. That's why i say that if we're approached logically about matters of the heart, we tend to yield a better result, because iNtuition and Thinking are much more comfortable for us to use, even if we're using them under the guidance of the feelings that are hiding behind safe walls.

When it comes to emotion, our introverted Feeling (Fi) can be shaky at times. As our tertiary function, it tends to develop later than the first two (around mid-20s i'm told?) and it will almost always take a back seat to the more dominant extraverted Thinking (Te). Also, since Feeling is reflected inward in our type, we won't always express what we're feeling outwardly.

It depends on the maturity level of the INTJ and their level of comfort when it comes to expressing such things. If the INTJ is comfortable with your emotional expression, and possibly more importantly with his own emotional process, then he's more likely to remain cool and collected when approached that way. If he's unsure of himself in expressing and receiving emotion, then he's more likely to come unglued.

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That's why i say that if we're approached logically about matters of the heart, we tend to yield a better result, because iNtuition and Thinking are much more comfortable for us to use, even if we're using them under the guidance of the feelings that are hiding behind safe walls.

When it comes to emotion, our introverted Feeling (Fi) can be shaky at times. As our tertiary function, it tends to develop later than the first two (around mid-20s i'm told?) and it will almost always take a back seat to the more dominant extraverted Thinking (Te). Also, since Feeling is reflected inward in our type, we won't always express what we're feeling outwardly.

It depends on the maturity level of the INTJ and their level of comfort when it comes to expressing such things. If the INTJ is comfortable with your emotional expression, and possibly more importantly with his own emotional process, then he's more likely to remain cool and collected when approached that way. If he's unsure of himself in expressing and receiving emotion, then he's more likely to come unglued.

So, I imagine it would be better to be very direct in admitting romantic interest/sentiments to an INTJ guy? I would imagine that in the moment, it would be very uncomfortable. :undecided:

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So, I imagine it would be better to be very direct in admitting romantic interest/sentiments to an INTJ guy? I would imagine that in the moment, it would be very uncomfortable. :undecided:

I am dating an infp currently, but even though we are officially dating, if she just randomly admitted her feelings for me or whatever, I would completely melt. She would have me wrapped around her finger :-)

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Are there any succeeding relationships and/or marriages of the INTJ/INFP mix.? (Preferrably, if the man is INTJ and the woman INFP.)

Can you tell me what it is like: affection, connections, conversation, the overall autonomy of the relationship?

The Do's and Don'ts of how to treat and care for eachother.

What attracted you to eachother and how do you make it work/last?

What are your opinions of eachother?

Plus, whatever advice you're willing to give for me or those who want to enter into this kind of relationship/mix.

I'd love all opinions if you're willing to share! Thanks in advance.

The two INTJs I have dated are undoubtedly two of the most amazing, kind, gentlemanly, lovely men I've had the pleasure to know. In fact tonight I am missing one of them quite strongly :( I will focus on that one in this reply...

Can you tell me what it is like: affection, connections, conversation, the overall autonomy of the relationship?

Extremely physically affectionate and quite verbally affectionate as well. Both of those were for the most part due to my initiation. I typically only received words of affirmation or physical contact after demanding it (hehe) or after giving some myself.

Conversation was the best I've had yet with another man. Very interesting, mature, thoughtful, and warm. When debating with him I never felt about bad about being incorrect or not being knowledgeable about a topic. We talked mostly about psychology, philosophy, sociology, fashion, art, and whatever had captured our interests lately.

Autonomy wise I would say we were both fairly independent. We came together and parted easily with no tension or anxiety.

The Do's and Don'ts of how to treat and care for eachother.

I didn't like when he wasn't tactful in his deliver of criticism. In the end though I appreciated it. Sometimes you need to hear certain things that can be hurtful. The thing that stands out most in my mind about him was how incredibly supportive and accepting he was of me. He also treated me very well and took a genuine interest me. Never underestimate the power of asking someone about what's on their mind or offering to cook a meal for them.

What attracted you to eachother and how do you make it work/last?

He was the one who pursued me consistently for quite some time. I think a large part of it after physical attraction was my mysterious and compassionate nature. I returned his affections after we became good friends and I got to become intimately acquainted with his knowledgeable mind, planning expertise, and inspiring zest for life. Women love a man with a plan;)

What are your opinions of eachother?

I think he's incredibly bright, determined, organized, ambitious, serious, incredibly wonderful man. I can't speak for him, but I'd like to think I left a good impression.

Highly, highly recommend this match.

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I am dating an infp currently, but even though we are officially dating, if she just randomly admitted her feelings for me or whatever, I would completely melt. She would have me wrapped around her finger :-)

REALLY?! Oh, I find this incredibly intriguing!! :)

I wonder if this applies to many other INTJs... This gives me hope that I won't be rejected if I just come out with it bluntly. (Even when I have an idea that the feelings are mutual.)

What's the best way to put it into words - that, I will have a hard time with.

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Well, for me, I'm afraid of expressing too much to her as far as how I feel about her. I'm afraid I will make her flighty and she'll bolt.

If SHE on the other hand told me how she felt, and yet I didn't feel as strongly about her as she does me (which I really doubt would be the case) I could deal with that. I would just chalk it up to people progressing at different rates... Like I said, if it was the other way around, I would at the vet least expect there to be some pulling back from me.

* all that being said, we actually sort of talked about this one time. Dont remember how we got on the subject but I told her that often times, other than not being good with emotions in general, I was afraid of telling her too much and making her uncomfortable. She said that she wasn't very good expressing herself as well, and that it's her fault that I felt that sometimes I didn't know exactly what we were supposed to be (also part of the discussion). But she then proceeded to tell me that it's actually very helpful to her for me to express things to her.

Whatever that means lol.

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I wonder if this applies to many other INTJs... This gives me hope that I won't be rejected if I just come out with it bluntly. (Even when I have an idea that the feelings are mutual.)

I was shocked when I discovered I could tell my (former) INTJ my feelings without scaring him off. I was careful not to gush and say it as matter-of-factly as I could. Then he proceeded to analyze the situation, LOL. :lovestruck:

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I was shocked when I discovered I could tell my (former) INTJ my feelings without scaring him off. I was careful not to gush and say it as matter-of-factly as I could. Then he proceeded to analyze the situation, LOL. :lovestruck:

What do you mean by "analyze the situation"? As in, he kept analyzing everything about the both of you, to see if it would work?

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What do you mean by "analyze the situation"? As in, he kept analyzing everything about the both of you, to see if it would work?

I guess you could say that. (Beware: Here comes an INFP round-about answer, LOL.)

He would question EVERYTHING. Let's see if I can think of an example . . . Okay.

Me: "INTJ, I like you."

INTJ: "You do, huh? Why?"

Me: "Uhh. I don't know! What, you want a list or something?"

INTJ: "Well, it's not like I'm rich or anything. I don't even own my own home yet."

Me: :huh: "Um. Okaaayyyy. Where did you get the idea that I give a rat's ass about your money? Do you think I'm shallow?"

INTJ: "No. But isn't that what most women want? Someone who can provide stability . . .blah, blah, blah."

Me: "INTJ, listen. I like you because your intensity shows you CARE about stuff. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be such a stubborn mule."

INTJ: "I'm a stubborn mule, huh?" (He says this with a smile on his face - I can hear it!)

Me: "Yes, you are a stubborn mule. But I like that (most of the time)! I like it that you will argue with me until you get to the bottom of things. You actually LISTEN to what I'm saying, even if you don't understand or agree with it. It makes me think you care. And that is EVERYTHING to me."

INTJ: "Well, I'm still a nerd."

*sigh*

That was just a small percentage of a small percentage of one of our conversations, LOL.

I don't recall him saying, "I like you, too." :rolleyes:

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Well, for me, I'm afraid of expressing too much to her as far as how I feel about her. I'm afraid I will make her flighty and she'll bolt.

If SHE on the other hand told me how she felt, and yet I didn't feel as strongly about her as she does me (which I really doubt would be the case) I could deal with that. I would just chalk it up to people progressing at different rates... Like I said, if it was the other way around, I would at the vet least expect there to be some pulling back from me.

* all that being said, we actually sort of talked about this one time. Dont remember how we got on the subject but I told her that often times, other than not being good with emotions in general, I was afraid of telling her too much and making her uncomfortable. She said that she wasn't very good expressing herself as well, and that it's her fault that I felt that sometimes I didn't know exactly what we were supposed to be (also part of the discussion). But she then proceeded to tell me that it's actually very helpful to her for me to express things to her.

Whatever that means lol.

Ah, never forget that blaming ourselves or carrying faults is one of those pesky unfortunate traits we INFPs have.

Actually, Allen3373, for me personally, I would love the expressions of how my significant other felt about me. Whether to judge me on this for being an INFP or not - it doesn't matter - to me, I would love it... and by no means would it make me flighty, especially (and most definately) if my feelings are the same.

(Wow!! I would have never thought this to be something that would worry an INTJ. "Afraid of expressing too much" as far as how you feel about someone you're with or interested in. On the contrary, I would be the one worrying about this. I would be more worried that he would be flighty and "recoil" from me or become distant.)

I know what your INFP means when she says that she "wasn't very good expressing herself as well," for I have trouble with this too. Actually, I can't speak for her, but what happens with me is something along the lines of this: in my mind, I imagine being very expressive with my significant other (let's use "affection" as an example), so I imagine being very affectionate because affection is our/my way of showing how and how much we care about our loved ones. I imagine the things I would say describing how I felt about him, or little romantic physical & non-physical gestures, like long embraces or kisses. (That's the INFP romanticism for you, at work in our imagination.) However, if the perfect timing were to come, all of a sudden there is this block/wall that appears and I can never work up the ability to make what I imagine into a reality. You can call it shyness, nervousness, insecurity, uncertainty, not feeling ready, or the common one: worrying if you would find it uncomfortable and/or unwelcomed... or maybe a mixture of all of these along with many other possibilities, but that's what happens.

So when you open up about feelings and emotions for your loved one, it really does help, because then I know it would be genuine, you're not holding back and it would deter a lot of what I just described... and the sudden blockage would be easier to demolish. In fact, it would inspire me to work even harder and improve myself on expression so that my beloved would never question my feelings or what exactly we were/are supposed to be. (Yet another subtle way the INTJ can help to improve/help us... something highly appreciated and yet a win-win situation ;))

Maybe... it could be along the same situation for her??

---------- Post added 04-30-2010 at 12:48 AM ----------

I guess you could say that. (Beware: Here comes an INFP round-about answer, LOL.)

He would question EVERYTHING. Let's see if I can think of an example . . . Okay.

Me: "INTJ, I like you."

INTJ: "You do, huh? Why?"

:laugh: That is the typical response I would expect from an INTJ! No doubt about the "WHY?" part. Hah, I love INTJs! ;D

This is exactly why I am trying to prepare a very detailed response for the day I work up the nerve to reveal my sentiments. :cheesy:

"Why do I like you? Well, Why NOT?? Is there a reason why I shouldn't??" :wiseguy:

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Hahahaha. Your description sounds EXACTLY like the beginning of my current relationship with an INTJ. I've known him for four years, and in January I decided he was extremely cute and I made my move.

Our physical chemistry has been fantastic. Also, our senses of humor (his IS darker than mine, but it intrigues me rather than repelling me) are very similar and we play well off of each other. Initially, like you, I was self-conscious about whether he would even like me, or if it was stupid to try at all. Turns out he liked me a lot too, or at least grew to.

From my experience, here are important positive and negative traits of an INTJ-INFP relationship:

Positive

1) There's a really nice playful quality about this relationship. TJs can get wrapped up in the seriousness and business of life, and the light-hearted FP loosens them up without distracting from what is important to them, while the opposite effect is made on the FP - maybe causing us to take life's responsibilities more seriously thanks to the TJ's influence. In a married relationship this is especially helpful, and the playfulness would help keep the romance alive.

2) The two different and two same letters make for a healthy combination of common ground and variety. You can learn a lot from each other about patience and other relationship fundamentals.

3) A source of comfort and stability, if the FP can relax and trust the TJ. Though FPs are by default more emotional, INTJs do long to be loved and cherished, but they won't admit it unless you do first.

Negatives

1) Us INFPs can be needy, needy, needy. We are easily discouraged and wonder sometimes if our INTJ really does like us after all. Sometimes we "test" our S.O. by waiting for them to make contact first, and if they don't, we can be passive aggressive about our insecurities. If the INFP doesn't lay aside the need to always know, we can push the INTJ away because, as previously stated, they highly cherish their personal space. But to our credit, you TJs can be distant. Just be sensitive to our uncertain nature and be sure to remind us every once in a while that you love us.

2) I don't how common the "player" attribute is in TJs, but mine has certainly earned that title. Because INTJ personalities put work, school, etc. as their primary concern, it's easy for relationships to become casual and mostly physical if the other person is also more casual about relationships. That can make commitment more challenging for the TJ and make an FP be inclined to feel used if we know about the nature of their previous flings, even if that's not the case for our relationship. INFPs often make relationships way too important, losing perspective about what truly is. This is often a turn-off to the TJ, since they value logic and functionality.

3) INTJs can be downright insensitive and oblivious. This drives us crazy, since we try to read into every little thing you say and do and, of course, take it personally. INFPs can be irrational and irresponsible. This is very unattractive to INTJs, who believe in taking credit for everything you do. In a functional relationship, these conflicts can be beneficial in learning how to act with each other as I mentioned before; but if either/both aren't willing to sacrifice for the other, bickering will be the poison and eventual demise of your relationship.

Personally, I've felt really taken care of by this boy. He won't let me pay for anything and took me to prom, where I had the time of my life. He shares himself with so few people, but those he does he is very faithful to and open with. I've been inspired by his hard work in every area of his life; eagle scout, football player, in the top ten of our class of 500+, going to Princeton in the fall... the list goes on. I feel lucky to have met him :)

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