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Hotkebab

Who clashes with Who?

53 posts in this topic

Which personalities are most likely to clash with each other and just simply not get along.

I know the answer is not as simple as the question but it would be interesting to know your opinions.

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INTJ - ESxJ

The INTJ inherent distaste for people is amplified for the rigid, tradition-loving, inefficient, small talk-craving, insecure, unoriginal sheeple that are known as the SJ guardians.

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Personally, I am not a big fan of the E*F* personality type. They tend to be emotional and loud about it. It can grate on my nerves, especially during stressful situations.

For me, clashing is usually the result of differing ethics and ideals, not something as trivial as personality type.

INTJ - ESxJ

The INTJ inherent distaste for people is amplified for the rigid, tradition-loving, inefficient, small talk-craving, insecure, unoriginal sheeple that are known as the SJ guardians.

I think you are a bit prejudiced. Because I work in the law enforcement field, I spend a lot of time with SJ guardians. True, they are rigid and tradition loving (I call them sentimental), but they are most definitely not insecure, inefficient, or unorigional. They love small talk, but only after a job well done.

Most enjoy **TJ types. I like their conviction and tendency toward objective and rational conversation.

Edited by HmjG

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Most compatible would probably be the NT types, and among those probably ENTJ and INTJ. The 'E's may talk more, but at least they make sense.

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Im with Wardo on this one... ESxJ personality types seem like the ideal type of personality that irks me.

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INTJ - ESxJ

The INTJ inherent distaste for people is amplified for the rigid, tradition-loving, inefficient, small talk-craving, insecure, unoriginal sheeple that are known as the SJ guardians.

Im with Wardo on this one... ESxJ personality types seem like the ideal type of personality that irks me.

Yeah, ESFJs are the worst. Completely incompatible with INTJs.

Oh wait, my awesome husband is one of those. Type isn't a predictor of interpersonal compatibility in any meaningful way. Read the forum, INTJs clash with each other a lot.

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I'm an INTJ and clash with ISTPs and anything close to them in traits.

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Well let's see most seem to express disdain foe ESFJ's, yet my wife whom I 've been happily married to for 10 yrs, my boss for the last 7(best boss I ever had), and one of my close friends all ESFJ's. Perhaps a certain maturity level is required on both sides for success?

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In general, I find two Js are more likely to clash, just because we're both more stubborn than Ps. It depends, obviously, a lot on the people though, and, for instance, how strong certain aspects of their personality are. Myself, there is something about every infj I've met that sets my teeth on edge, no matter that I can tell myself nice things about them, but that hardly generalises.

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I know I don't get along so well with ESTJ's. We tend to argue with each other. :(

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Perhaps a certain maturity level is required on both sides for success?

This has certainly been my experience.

The most unpleasant and hateful person I ever encountered happened to be an ESFP, but he also grew up experiencing severe abuse and parental abandonment. I do not think he ever recovered. While I believe that our opposing personality types contributed to his choice of me as a target for his rages, I doubt that the average ESFP would have behaved as he did. The profiles I've read indicate that a well-adapted individual of this temperament would have many charming and useful qualities. I suspect one of my favorite relatives is an ESFX, too.

On a related note, I am happily paired with an INFP, but I have dated another INFP in the past and we clashed horribly, mostly due to my immature and selfish outlook at the time. Today I am appreciative of the same qualities I took advantage of in the past.

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In my irrational scheme of perception.. everyone and yet nobody. I'm polite and agreeable to most, yet have no interest in people really.

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On the one hand, how can I purport to answer this question unless I've had significant experience dealing with at least several representatives of each of the 15 other types, right? And I don't have that experience. So fine, having dutifully expressed that caveat, and based on what experience I have had (and reading about other people's experiences, and MBTI reading, etc.) ...

I'm inclined to agree with wardo: ES_J. And here's how I'd tend to explain that in MBTI terms:

As Prune noted, J's tend to be strong-willed and P's more easygoing, so in the simplest terms J-J is the classic "clash" formula. E--J's are likely to be domineering, while you're more likely to think of an I--J as stubborn. Asking an INTJ to deal with someone who tends to act bossy with him is really asking for trouble (more than asking an INTJ to deal with a fellow stubborn person), so that would point to INTJ/E--J as a likely source of clashes.

And I think of N/S as the single most important dimension for "compatibility" purposes. If INTJ/E--J sets up the potential for seed disagreements to blossom into clashes, making the E--J an ES-J maximizes the probability that there will be plenty of seed disagreements in the first place.

All that said, echoing Synamon and others, at the end of the day, any two types can end up getting along fine if one or both of them have above-average levels of maturity/wisdom/etc.

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Yeah, ESFJs are the worst. Completely incompatible with INTJs.

Oh wait, my awesome husband is one of those. Type isn't a predictor of interpersonal compatibility in any meaningful way. Read the forum, INTJs clash with each other a lot.

INTJ's don't clash, they brainstorm.

zhymhyr added to this post, 13 minutes and 22 seconds later...

Well let's see most seem to express disdain foe ESFJ's, yet my wife whom I 've been happily married to for 10 yrs, my boss for the last 7(best boss I ever had), and one of my close friends all ESFJ's. Perhaps a certain maturity level is required on both sides for success?

I think it's not maturity that's needed but social acceptance?

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I really like most NT types. Obviously I prefer other INTJs, but I also get along really well with INTPs, rare though they are. I can also tolerate (and often like) ISTJs and ISTPs.

I very much dislike SF types (the F part bothers me more than the S, but together, they are unbearable). And as others said, a J type can often make for disagreement because we're both stubborn.

If I were to put the types in order, it would probably be something roughly like this, with INTJ being most liked and ESFJ being lest liked:

INTJ

INTP

ISTJ

ENTP

ENTJ

INFP

ENFP

INFJ

ISTP

ENFJ

ESTP

ESTJ

ISFP

ESFP

ISFJ

ESFJ

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Now that I think about it, 3 friends who's type I can know are ISFJ, ISFP, and ESFJ..

The E one is a guy, so I do the "be rational" thing more often.

I need more N friends. lol

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Definitely varying views on the ESTJ compatibility - I find that ESTJ's are perfect when their value system compliments your own

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I tend to get along with all sorts of people. But individuals who make irrational decisions based on feeling or emotion kinda irk me.

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The general summary of 'type clash' is:

NTs clash with SJs who clash with NTs (more often than with NFs, SPs and others of the same type)

NFs clash with SPs who clash with NFs (more often than with NTs, SJs and others of the same type)

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Lately I've had clashes with INFPs but my wife is also one of those. Maybe like people have said, it's the maturity level of both parties involved.

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Ouch.

Just to tack on this:

Who are the LEAST clashers with any type?

I'm told ENFP, because they will change to adapt to the other party. And indeed that's more or less what I do, translating and helping the communication between our mainly INT technicians and mainly ESxx project managers, xSxJ line managers and our suppliers and internal customers.

Just a data point.

ENTP's argue with anyone and anything, but in such a good way - the ones I know anyway. Lot's of the J's can be hard work, and involve more working around on my part as they can be pretty rigid.

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All of the male INTJs I've met in person, I've loved. They're probably my favorite kind of person to be around. But the female ones, I can't stand. I think this is probably my fault and has something to do with my competitiveness or jealousy. Not to mention, they remind me of my mom.

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I'm told ENFP, because they will change to adapt to the other party. And indeed that's more or less what I do, translating and helping the communication between our mainly INT technicians and mainly ESxx project managers, xSxJ line managers and our suppliers and internal customers.

Just a data point.

I guess I could agree with that. The field I want to go into will require me to be flexible and able to work with a lot of different type of people and cultures. I guess the way my cognitive process works was one of the ways I first came to be attracted to that.

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