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daisy53

Child's Play

As a child, how many of you prefered playing alone or doing solitary activities? If so, did you wonder why?

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In my early childhood i was a lot more outgoing. I think a lot of my experiences growing up molded me into the strong I that i exhibit today. Hell, i used to make new friends back in elementary school... and i made them by introducing myself and putting myself out there, not passively like i have for years now XD

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Interesting. Although I preferred entertaining myself as a child, I was also more outgoing until maybe junior high or high school. I have often wondered what triggered my introversion, or whether there was a tendency toward it all along. Moving in HS didn't help.

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My childhood was more outgoing too, in fact I'd always get in trouble for talking. I think I didn't like what other people were thinking around the age of 11-12 so I probably turned inwards.

Lego and a huge imagination is technically single player.

However I was able to get my younger brother to play with me.

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I was incredibly introverted. I was also an only child.

I had so much fun as a kid, because my house has a big backyard and my mom pretty much made it the best place for a child. I had a swing set, a fort, and a big sandbox. My mom gave me old pots, pans, baking sheets, ladles, and utensils and I used to put on cooking shows (talking out loud to no one) where I would use moss (broccoli, spinach), scallions (for spice), dirt (chocolate, nutmeg, cinnamon, etc) and sand (flour, sugar, baking soda/powder, salt). I used leaves, berries, and flowers to garnish my masterpieces. I also collected broken pieces of asphalt from my school's parking lot so I could piece them together in my fort and I'd use them like a stove. I collected clam shells to use as bowls to serve my meals in. I would give explicit instructions on how to cook whatever I was making (temperatures, times, ingredients, etc). I made one concoction which I called "Mississippi Mainland Mud Pie" (yes I know that makes no sense at all) and my mom helped me turn it into a real pie. We entered it into a baking contest. It didn't win.

Our backyard leads into the woods, so I spent a lot of my childhood playing there. I would pretend I was an orphan living in the woods, and I'd collect massive quantities of this long grass that used to grow there and make beds/pillows out of it. My mom keeps a salt block out there for the deer, and I used to chip pieces off of it to use as "crystals." They were my currency.

At the most social time of my childhood, I had three friends (but for the most part two). I disliked getting together with more than just one friend at a time; it was always one-on-one. Now that I think of it, almost all of our time spent together was playing make-believe games. We'd play school in my playhouse, which my mom furnished with real desks/chairs she found in my school's dumpster, or we'd play house, or dress-up, or with one friend who had a really cool queen costume, we'd play at royalty. I was a bit bossy when I was little and I'd always wind up being the teacher or the queen. However, when playing house, I was always the woman.

I remember my mom often asking me about other kids I met in school, and when I mentioned them she'd always ask me if I wanted to set up a play-date with them...and I'd always say no, and that I was fine with three friends. My mom eventually gave up when she realized I was set in my ways. But I know that she was only trying to help, because she is also a very solitary person and doesn't have many friends, so she didn't want me to set myself up for that. (Both my mom and I are solitary because we choose not to be friends with everyone--we want more substance--but the difference is that I actually am aware of this and I know that I have few friends because of my own choosing. My mom thinks she has no friends because she's not good enough--she's ISFP if this sheds any insight on the matter. I have done my best to make her think otherwise though, because she's a wonderful person, she just doesn't think highly enough of herself.)

Hah sorry that last bit got rant-y. I hope this post has answered at least some of your questions!

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I played alone when I was small because no-one wanted to play with me. By the time they got over the original 'She's weird' thing at the age of about eight, I'd discovered that I loved being by myself anyway, and so continued with my solitary games. So I wonder if I'm introverted by nature or conditioning? Probably a combination.

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I remember my mom often asking me about other kids I met in school, and when I mentioned them she'd always ask me if I wanted to set up a play-date with them...and I'd always say no, and that I was fine with three friends. My mom eventually gave up when she realized I was set in my ways. But I know that she was only trying to help, because she is also a very solitary person and doesn't have many friends, so she didn't want me to set myself up for that. (Both my mom and I are solitary because we choose not to be friends with everyone--we want more substance--but the difference is that I actually am aware of this and I know that I have few friends because of my own choosing.

Quality > Quantity when it comes to choosing friends. I've never understood people who desire to become friends with everyone, accumulating huge lists of "friends" on social networking sites. I feel sorry for those who need the approval of others to feel self worth.

I was much more outgoing as a child as well. I suspect many of us were "class clowns" or entertainers in primary school, then grew more studious and reserved later. I'm not sure why this is, my theory is as INTJ's grow older their understanding of the world grows and they are disappointed to learn most people aren't the free thinkers the INTJ wants them to be. Also as our sense of humor grows more evolved we find others don't get it, and don't waste time trying to express our humor except among the like-minded.

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Quality > Quantity when it comes to choosing friends. I've never understood people who desire to become friends with everyone, accumulating huge lists of "friends" on social networking sites. I feel sorry for those who need the approval of others to feel self worth.

I was much more outgoing as a child as well. I suspect many of us were "class clowns" or entertainers in primary school, then grew more studious and reserved later. I'm not sure why this is, my theory is as INTJ's grow older their understanding of the world grows and they are disappointed to learn most people aren't the free thinkers the INTJ wants them to be. Also as our sense of humor grows more evolved we find others don't get it, and don't waste time trying to express our humor except among the like-minded.

I was always both at the same time. Some teachers in high school literally labeled me as "quiet" etc. while some had me as #1 on their list for probable person to good-naturedly make mischief and lead others into it.

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I would play with other children but eventually get bored. Funny, the same is still true today.

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I didn’t particularly like to play alone, but I often found myself playing alone as a child. That was mostly because no one liked to do the things that I liked; doing "chemistry experiments", tending a garden, taking things apart and putting them back together again, trying to communicate with my pets, and other "weird" things.

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I don't remember ever preferring to play alone, and at least until 11-12 I probably spent about a little more than half the time playing with a number of others in a reasonably normal way. I wasn't athletically gifted though, so while I played sports around the neighborhood I didn't do league play. I had no problem with solitary activities at any point, and I'm told I was always reserved anyway (early low Feeling component).

After moving to a different neighborhood around 12 I couldn't quite build a similar base of friends, so I relied on activities and school where I still saw my old friends. I went through a rough adaption for a short period, but after some conscious decisions that solidified my separation from others I was firmly INTJ (if not already).

As time passed I became more focused on thinking types of play with either the few friends who were into that or by myself. By 16 I was a free thinker and probably already had an internal need for solitary play/activity.

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I preferred to play alone, but I never had the chance. My next-door-nieghbor was the only other kid my age in the neighborhood and she was sooooo aggressive and kind of forced me to play with her (I have always been very submissive when faced with a certian type of person). Then like a week after she left, a boy moved in with the same personality and I was forced to play with him till we moved when I was 11. On top of that, I had/have a very needy (emotionally) little brother.

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i was always an introvert. i never really felt like i related to the other kids - i was off looking at the sky wondering how clouds were made, and laying in the grass enjoying the breeze... and they'd be playing games that i really wasn't all that interested in. and i'd stay in my room and draw people, and build imaginary cities out of blocks and legos...

at times i would see other kids having so much fun and get down on myself and wonder why i was so different... i wanted that kind of fun like they were having, but i didnt get the enjoyment out of the same activities that they did. i didnt know why, but i knew that it was and i didnt necessarily conclude there was something wrong with me because of it. my alone time was always my most enjoyable time when i was in school because i couldnt handle all the forced interaction school presented. i would do anything to get to stay inside and help the teachers.

but there were times when i really felt awful being left out. its no fun being the one picked last, even if you weren't really interested in it to begin with...

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