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vielibre

(Female) Male friend won't see me as "just a friend"

204 posts in this topic
On 4/3/2017 at 8:08 AM, vielibre said:

can ever be just "friends". 

And what of the women in your life are they too just friends? Is there nothing unique about them and their roles. It seems to me that is just his little quirk, he has a penis.

On 4/3/2017 at 2:20 PM, vielibre said:

who lulls me into friendship with the hopes of getting what he wants from me.

You provide something of worth and only then can someone be your friend. People are very valuable and difficult to maintain, one could say almost priceless.

On 4/3/2017 at 3:36 PM, Holli said:

If all a guy wants is sex, the non-sleazy thing to do would to be up front with it

Holli do you cook much? If a guy wants a steak is it not more well received if its beaten, marinaded, and paired with an excellent potato salad or side of greens. Sex is very important, very delicious, holy, an intense experience.

On 4/3/2017 at 3:36 PM, Holli said:

Checking the checkboxes of qualities one may want in a mate doesn't guarantee attraction.

That generally means you have bad taste, and once again I refer back to my cooking analogy. So how bad is your lack of taste? Are you a vegetarian or do you eat off the floor? Ruling out bad providers as mates is an evolutionary imperative. But do you also have allergies or other systemic flaws at the genetic level? Does your skin fall off when the blessed food giving sunlight hits you? These are all very important checkboxes for men. It is difficult enough for a guy to understand how a woman bleeds every month and does not die so I can't imagine there are any more surprises!

On 4/3/2017 at 5:36 PM, vielibre said:

If by trying to move on, you mean ceases communication for a couple months then comes back, sure? I won't reach out/disturb him, unless he reaches out first that is. 

You are haggling right now. Your life is a mess as you have stated so going into a relationship right now you would not be equals. You would feel indebted to this man. So how about you quit skimping with this concept of "just only exactly sex". Oh hell no its about you getting down on your knees and shouting thank you jesus for this dick you are about to receive and blowing him like your life depended on it because it does!

Completely toss out this shitty feminine ego play about equality and just show some respect for a guy trying to salvage you from such destructive impulses. When will the bridge burning stop? How many babies must be tossed out with the bath water? Are you going to keep on hen pecking until someone ends up dead?

Edited by Dohavior

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On 4/19/2017 at 1:40 AM, Seablue said:

Which referred to interacting with women, as in talking with women, having genuine conversations about their experiences. Which a virgin can have and a ONS adept might not have.

Nah. I have no history of attacking people for lacking sexual experience other than the one you imagined.

Nothing about this was imagined; all I ever did was quote you, and since then you've tried spinning your "true" intention behind that quote in a variety of ways. While I'd agree with your point that a virgin can have plenty of conversations with women about their experiences, I'd disagree with you if you thought that a person could have a lot of sex with a variety of women and not hear a great deal about their experiences in the process. In my experience these two go hand and hand, and as long as there's any kind of correlation between these results then you're making an implication, regardless of whether or not this implication was intentional. 

You could of said "I disagree with you because in my experience X, Y and Z," but you opted not to. You went ahead with a cold read and instead decided to volunteer your own speculation about my clear "lack of experience with women" instead.

On 4/24/2017 at 8:17 AM, Seablue said:

But at the moment, if anything, you're getting colder.

Perhaps I'm getting colder with my cold reads when I openly speculate about your profound and excessive experience with other men  (to be fair, going from very hot to hot would still mean I'm getting colder), though in my defense I do have a terrible history of following the precedence set by other people.

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On 4/23/2017 at 5:39 PM, Amore said:

I'd say, of course men and women can be superficial friends.

But anything deeper, I'd say it's likely to lead to one or both wondering, then fantasizing, then acting on it.

I have some fairly deep female friendships.

I feel like there's a mathematical equation involved - you can't be within eachother's top-7 most preferred (obtainable) romantic options, and you can't be outside of the top-15. 

Those numbers feel right. 

Some romantic chemistry helps the keep the friendship warm with and sprinkled with dopamine, but too much burns the cake. 

Caveat: 65% chance of hooking up anyway.

Edited by BostonIan

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9 hours ago, Deprecator said:

You could of said "I disagree with you because in my experience X, Y and Z," but you opted not to. You went ahead with a cold read and instead decided to volunteer your own speculation about my clear "lack of experience with women" instead.

True, and I do regret that. And I mean because it was unecessary at best, not just because you've been annoying as fuck about it since then. ;)

9 hours ago, Deprecator said:

Perhaps I'm getting colder with my cold reads when I openly speculate about your profound and excessive experience with other men  (to be fair, going from very hot to hot would still mean I'm getting colder), though in my defense I do have a terrible history of following the precedence set by other people.

Speculate away then. I don't consider «experience with men» to be an insult either way - I don't even think you genuinely consider it to be one.

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