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bobabrowncoat

INTJs and Alcohol

43 posts in this topic
10 hours ago, bobabrowncoat said:

Now in life, I don't feel "obligated", but instead a desire to socialize. It's tough. The way I enjoy socializing without any mind altering substance isn't accepted around me. Alcohol is a social camouflage I can use to infiltrate other groups. It removes my uncomfort and amplifies the social appeal I do have to others.

Hard to work out whether you want to be liked, whether you want to socialize or whether you just want permission/excuses to be a drunk. Maybe all three. Dunno. Work it out yourself.

Feeling like an outsider isn't a psychiatric abnormality - and best wishes to you for wanting to take some steps towards social inclusion. Some social drinking may just be the right thing for you right now. Do it.

Alcohol doesn't cure anything, but a teetotalers party sounds boring as batshit.

Unleash the party animal within if needs be! :cheers:

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Alcohol doesn't work in me as it does with most people. 

For example, beer tends to make me sleepy, which is why I try to avoid it like the plague. Sometimes there is no way out and have to drink a least a bottle of beer in some social interactions. 

Rum makes me a little dizzy, which I guess is the buzz, and makes me horny; but other than that... nothing. 

Vodka does absolutely nothing, same with whiskey. 

Wine tastes and smells really good, and I do enjoy drinking it; but it does nothing to me. 

I haven't tried any other type of alcohol, because I find it pointless.

Alcohol makes most people people loosen up, get all giggly and happy, lower their guard. With me? Meh... 

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Alcohol makes me a little more relaxed, more likely to smile or laugh at small talk, a little less stiff.  So, more normal, in some respects.  It's never made me crazy, angry, or hyper-emotional.

However, as soon as I start drinking, my inner safety observer comes out and starts warning me: "Okay, your judgment MAY be impaired, so you had better be extra careful!  Would you do/say this if you were sober?  Will you regret this?  Better not!"

Basically, my inhibitions fight back!

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On 1/21/2017 at 0:02 AM, bobabrowncoat said:

Apologies if this is in the wrong subforum.

Some of you know, I'm new to alcohol. I've been wondering if alcohol makes you feel more... normal? I've found that I'm much more outgoing and jovial when I've had a few drinks. I feel as though I'm a normal contributor to society and not an outlier when I've had a few.

What say you?

Yes, I've often said that I think Alcohol makes me feel more like the typical introvert, and I think marijuana makes extroverts feel more introverted.  That's one reason that I have never liked Marijuana. 

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I am tempted to take up listening to good music and scotch whiskey as a calming hobby.

At the moment I try not to drink too much.

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On 1/21/2017 at 2:13 PM, bobabrowncoat said:

These two questions go together. I've noticed that several INTJs have talked about disliking being around other people and want no part of the social sphere. I, on the other hand, have been aware of how unnormal my personality is from an early age. The feeling of being left out or not understanding kids' around me was lonely. I desired to be part of a group, but never really found one where I belonged.

Now in life, I don't feel "obligated", but instead a desire to socialize. It's tough. The way I enjoy socializing without any mind altering substance isn't accepted around me. Alcohol is a social camouflage I can use to infiltrate other groups. It removes my uncomfort and amplifies the social appeal I do have to others.

I can understand your point. I am also the type of INTJ that would like to be more "normal", I actively try to be more social and get out of my shell however uncomfortable it might be. I can't simply accept that I am so bad at it without having a real try at succeeding.

It's to be expected that one wants to belong to a group after being a loner for too long. Where I live it's highly expected of the people my age to drink in social gatherings, specially beer. Even though I don't like much of the taste of it I usually drink it a bit to avoid sticking like a sore thumb more than I do. But as time passes I am starting to realize that I like drinking, specially when I drink un-socially, by myself, usually with the intend to get drunk. 

So I think I use alcohol to relieve me of stress, be it of social interaction or other life circumstances. I tend to feel more relaxed when I drink, not necessarily more outgoing. I am more tolerant of some conversations topics and think less of what others may think about me. Oh, I laugh more too.

Coincidentally, I am coming up with a plan on how to control my alcohol intake as I drank too much in these last months. I should limit it to weekends, specially Saturday and focus on physical activity to relieve me of stress.

 

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On 2017-01-20 at 9:02 PM, bobabrowncoat said:

Apologies if this is in the wrong subforum.

Some of you know, I'm new to alcohol. I've been wondering if alcohol makes you feel more... normal? I've found that I'm much more outgoing and jovial when I've had a few drinks. I feel as though I'm a normal contributor to society and not an outlier when I've had a few.

What say you?

I am more social and playful with a buzz. Being at a party sober I feel more self-conscious and am more quiet. So it is helpful to a point, but sloppy is never good, shots can add up fast, and things can get stupid. I am much more embarrassed and ashamed of myself for acting ridiculously when I'm wasted than anyone else realistically ever is.

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Socializing* mostly feels like a chore to me which can be alleviated by a bit of alcohol. In turn drinking feels like a chore too. You can look like an outsider barely by not having a cup or glass in your hand when everybody does.
I get more relaxed and over chatty from alcohol, but I hate to make a fool of myself or be sick the next day...so I cheat. I drink very slow and some semisoft drinks and make sure I just get tipsy but not drunk.


*I mean spending time with acquaintances or colleagues, getting to know new people kind, not the spending time with actual friends.
Friends get there one-on-one time and we may or may not drink some alcohol, but ther is no need. 

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It "lowers inhibitions" presumably because it makes us care less (careless) about how others see us.  That's a two-edged sword.

Also, 'feeling normal' with alcohol could be a red flag for alcoholism, so be careful.

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I personally find alcohol makes me more confident and removes some of my tolerance and judgement around the average persons idea of an 'interesting' conversation.  I also feel other people are more inclined to open up and be themselves when drinking which I like - I like authentic people! ...Yes, you could argue they aren't authentic if they are different sober, but I see it differently in the people I choose to socialise with.

Sometimes I like to forget about the complexities going on in my head by just chilling the hell out (mind wipe till the morning) and having a drink helps me do that.  

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It helps me to enjoy, or at least suffer less, in social situations with people I don't know, and it helps me forgetting things that stresses me out which I like. But in the latest years I have become more sensitive to alcohol and easily feel sick by it, which has made me dislike the taste, so now I rarely drink. 

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On 1/21/2017 at 9:34 AM, bobabrowncoat said:

It seems others don't have the feeling of being the odd man out that I have most of the time.

You'd be surprised. That's why most people drink. 

 

I tend to find that weed makes introverts feel more normal than alcohol. Alcohol makes me more jovial but I also feel "out of it" and not totally myself. I pretty much hate having more than 3 drinks now. 

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Be wary of situations involving where people are drinking in excess.  There is probably after hour events in some context.  If you are not interested in different substance just stick around for a few drinks.

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Posted (edited)

On 1/20/2017 at 9:02 PM, bobabrowncoat said:

Apologies if this is in the wrong subforum.

Some of you know, I'm new to alcohol. I've been wondering if alcohol makes you feel more... normal? I've found that I'm much more outgoing and jovial when I've had a few drinks. I feel as though I'm a normal contributor to society and not an outlier when I've had a few.

What say you?

It sounds as if the chemicals within the elixir shut off your intuition rendering you to be 3/4ths of your mind, or an NTJ.  Based on this theory, that would turn you into a completely different MBTI type.  Your new dominating functionality would be Extroverted Thinking, followed by Introverted Feeling and then Extroverted Sensing causing your Introverted Intuition to be nothing more than a 4th functionality.

That means, when you are drunk, your a Te-dominant with a Fe-secondary dominant...

 

Basically, when you're drunk, you've turned into some sort of a bizzare ESFP/ESTP hybrid.

Do you get emotionally expressive or intellectually expressive while drunk?

 

It would be an interesting study to analyze you while you're drunk.  It's like you have a Te-Fi dominant personality...which I don't event believe is a type.

Jung would probably have to have to a few beers to unravel the puzzle of your drunken mind's MBTI personality.

Edited by ENFPEACE

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On 21/01/2017 at 6:02 AM, bobabrowncoat said:

Apologies if this is in the wrong subforum.

Some of you know, I'm new to alcohol. I've been wondering if alcohol makes you feel more... normal? I've found that I'm much more outgoing and jovial when I've had a few drinks. I feel as though I'm a normal contributor to society and not an outlier when I've had a few.

What say you?

Nope, it doesn't make me feel more normal. It makes me feel stupid.

My brain is my strong point. Everything that impair its work just diminish my worth. A drunk version of myself is an inferior version of myself, while "normal" people are not my inferior.  They are just different.

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On 21/01/2017 at 1:02 AM, bobabrowncoat said:

Apologies if this is in the wrong subforum.

Some of you know, I'm new to alcohol. I've been wondering if alcohol makes you feel more... normal? I've found that I'm much more outgoing and jovial when I've had a few drinks. I feel as though I'm a normal contributor to society and not an outlier when I've had a few.

What say you?

I've given up on "normal" a long time ago, alcohol or not.  I'm an anxious, intense, cerebral, overthinking kind of dude and my days consist of the hamster on the wheel in my brain running his ass off.  As alcohol is a depressant, if I have the right amount, it simply slows that poor critter down to a comfortable jog.   I find it deadens my seriousness while amplifying the things one does when relaxed: deep breathing, smiling, laughing, thinking about funny things instead of problem solving things.  I focus on different details when intoxicated....fun details.  It doesn't instantly give me social skills.  I always have those.   Also, I'm fairly certain that I'm not really sleeping when I pass out after a night of drinking, but wherever I go for those few hours of unconsciousness is pretty awesome.

On 23/01/2017 at 6:39 PM, Tactical Panda said:

I am tempted to take up listening to good music and scotch whiskey as a calming hobby.

At the moment I try not to drink too much.

The fact that my father is an alcoholic is the only thing that stops me from doing this every day.   I won't allow myself to live that life.  I have a "no drinking on school nights" rule that restricts my alcohol consumption only to the weekends and usually it's only one of the weekend nights.  I'm an audiophile and music junkie and I have a listening room with a substantial system, and although music is great to me all the time, it gets even better when I've had a few drinks.  Once again, I believe the alcohol changes my focus to different details in the music.  

Keeping with a music analogy, I find that alcohol is like moving the sliding scales on a graphic equalizer or a soundboard.  During my sober days, I'm set at purely acceptable and consistent levels.  After a few drinks, I can start sliding those knobs around and come up with different levels of bass and treble and emphasize the different instruments of the orchestra of my brain.

 

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On 1/21/2017 at 0:02 AM, bobabrowncoat said:

Apologies if this is in the wrong subforum.

Some of you know, I'm new to alcohol. I've been wondering if alcohol makes you feel more... normal? I've found that I'm much more outgoing and jovial when I've had a few drinks. I feel as though I'm a normal contributor to society and not an outlier when I've had a few.

What say you?

I have found that simply engaging in activities that generate other chemicals in the brain is effective in slowing down the mind.  Work and the struggle with life often generate a lot of cortisol.  Continuing to allow the mind to spin on those things only generate more.

So, we need to engage activities that cause the mind to generate other chemicals to balance things out.

Exercise will generate serotonin.  So, going for a run, playing a (vigorous) sport, etc. will cause the mind to get away from cortisol.

Dopamine is the "accomplishment" brain chemical.  It's what we feel when we achieve a goal or receive affirmation in some way.  It's the chemical that is released when we get a "like" on Facebook and when we accomplish a quest in World of Warcraft.  (Be careful, though, this is also the drug of addiction for everything from drugs and gambling to social media.)  Still, a balance in generating some dopamine is healthy, especially when accomplishing something good.

Oxytocin is the relationship drug.  It is released during sex (making sex a good stress reliever), but also during meaningful human interactions (yes, INTJs, we need these, too.  Find an ENFP.  They'll help.)  They're also released by physical touch.  This is why pet therapy works.

 

However, the INTJ in his natural habitat will not get a lot of Serotonin or Oxytocin, and often the Dopamine will be from artificial sources.

So, the healthy INTJ, rather than using alcohol, will develop a disciplined lifestyle that raises these other brain chemicals to get them away from the constant cortisol drop.  (Yes, this means you need friends.  And a spouse.)

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On 4/21/2017 at 10:00 PM, Fishism said:

The fact that my father is an alcoholic is the only thing that stops me from doing this every day.   I won't allow myself to live that life.  I have a "no drinking on school nights" rule that restricts my alcohol consumption only to the weekends and usually it's only one of the weekend nights.  I'm an audiophile and music junkie and I have a listening room with a substantial system, and although music is great to me all the time, it gets even better when I've had a few drinks.  Once again, I believe the alcohol changes my focus to different details in the music.  

Keeping with a music analogy, I find that alcohol is like moving the sliding scales on a graphic equalizer or a soundboard.  During my sober days, I'm set at purely acceptable and consistent levels.  After a few drinks, I can start sliding those knobs around and come up with different levels of bass and treble and emphasize the different instruments of the orchestra of my brain.

 

Ah, I limit my drinking because alcohol ruins livers. Apparently even drinking a bit each day is enough to do damage. Plus I don't want it to become a crutch.

But the possibility of becoming an alcoholic sounds like a better reason not to abuse the substance.

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