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Tito

INTJ's capable of getting together with an ex?

Getting into a relationship with an ex   18 members have voted

  1. 1. Have you ever gotten together with an ex?

    • INTJ: Yes
      4
    • INTJ: No
      8
    • Non-INTJ: Yes
      1
    • Non-INTJ: No
      5
    • I have never been in a relationship.
      0

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Posted (edited)

Today I was wondering if INTJ's are good at getting together with an ex and giving a relationship a second chance. Perhaps INTJ's are more of the what's done is done mentality and leave a former failed relationship as something of the past. 

Have you ever gotten together with an ex?

Was it easy or hard to acheive?

Do you think it was easy (or hard) due to your INTJness (or whatever MBTI you are)?

Overall, do you think it was worth it?

Edited by Tito

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I never have, I can't imagine ever doing so.

For me it's probably two parts ego and one part prudishness. There's something distinctly distasteful about sleeping with a guy, then a different guy (or several) and again sleeping with guy one. Not sure how to explain it, just seems gross.

The ego part is easy tho. Either this is someone I didn't consider good enough for me or it's someone who didn't try hard enough to keep me. In either case those are things I doubt would change given any amount of time, even if they did why risk my precious time (again) on someone who failed at all?

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I only leave after careful consideration 

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I ended my relationships for specific reasons and none of them will or would ever be rekindled.  That's not to say that other people's relationships wouldn't be successful if they tried again, but it depends on the reasons for ending the relationship.  In my relationships, the problem would either persist or there's a chance that it would.  No thank you on either.  Besides, I have no romantic feelings towards any exes.

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Yes, twice. One was sexual. No complaints. The other was a legitimate attempt to rekindle the flame. Shouldn't have bothered.

I think second chances can work because people and their life situations are constantly changing.

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Yes, the break was several months.

It was easy to achieve because she did everything in her power to get me back.

I think it was easy for her because back then I left for reasons that had roots in my thinking and analyzing - not in my feelings. My INTJ'ness is both a blessing and a curse and I just really enjoy switching it off completely now and then. Getting back together was just that and so I went for it. 

Yes, the relationship lasted two more years. The INTJ in me of course sees those als lost years and remembers all the bad times and the final breakup, but that other side of me remembers the good, fun times. And I know which side I'll let take control of my thinking about the important stuff.

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Yes I have rekindled with an ex, after much consideration.  It wasn't an easy decision at the time and it wouldn't have happened if she wasn't persistent in her efforts to get me back along with her adamant claims that things would be different and they were.  My INTJness is both a blessing a curse as I'm so stubborn that I don't easily go back on decisions but at the same time, objectivity will allow me to be convinced by a good argument.

Was it worth it? Well, that's debatable.  It lasted many more years and there were great times, but, as it eventually ended, there is the opportunity cost of the time lost to consider.

 

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I think it might depend of the severity of the breakup.

And if the NT saw it as unfixable.

If there were loose ends left to be fixed up, or you lost some puzzle pieces as you walked away, it might be they would want to apply those things... because ... that just how they are sometimes.

Also there is that myth that the 3rd function of an INTJ might *actually* be an *gasp* emotion...

And as emotions tend to be easily switched from NO to ON easily...

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