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EchoFlame

Are all human overly emotional?

I recently had an argument with someone who tried to claim I "suppress my emotions". Which isn't really true. When I'm angry, sad, etc. I used it constructively. I still feel it and use it. I just don't get emotional often, I'm usually mellow.

Anyway, his argument was that society represses male expression of emotion and that men are really emotional. My argument was that society does encourage the repression of male emotion, but as a majority, men are less emotional.

As in, I think it is fine for men who are more emotional to express emotion, but as a whole, I think men in general are less emotional.

Discuss.

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The title doesn't seem to match with the content?

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If his argument is true, everyone is emotional all the time and those who don't seem so are just suppressing it. That was his point.

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Oh, I see. We're just taking it for granted that all women are overly emotional. Now I'm following you.

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I could have sworn the feminists were all about expressing themselves. Has that changed recently? If not, move along. If you want to prove all human emotions being over-expressed by either gender is weird, be my guest. It still aids my view.

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I think that this man's argument possibly proves your argument wrong. Clearly, he feels more emotional than he feels that society allows him to express. Out of the sample you have given, 50% states that they feel pressured to suppress their emotions. Given that you are an INTJ, you are massively over-represented; in no way do INTJs make up 50% of any random sample. With a larger sample, I suspect that we would find in favour of this man's view.

I do not think that men are less emotional. My experience is exactly the opposite. In fact, I think that a lot of men are much less experienced at controlling their emotions because they have been taught throughout their lives that being emotional is 'unmanly' and thus have never learned to accept and deal with their own emotional landscapes. This leads to unpredictability and anger when things challenge their worldviews. 

Of course, this is not a universal trait; I have simply observed this trend - mostly in workplaces, where I don't have my choice of acquaintances. The men I know by choice are more mature, on the whole. 

I suspect that your observation is valid - but that your conclusion is not justified by the data. I would say that INTJs are less overtly emotional than most other personality types. Gender doesn't come into it. But men, on the whole, are far more emotional than the average INTJ. 

Though, as an aside, in certain circumstances, INTJs can be very emotional. I have observed massive arguments and close-mindedness from fellow INTJs. We do not, as a segment, have a monopoly on emotional control (no matter how much we like to tell ourselves that we do). 

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That's an odd comment, you come across as extremely emotional on this forum, which leads me to the answer to your question: while I do think men in general are slightly less emotional than women in general, I also think the emotions they usually experience more often and the way they express them are not stereotypically recognized as emotions, therefore giving the appearance than men are very stoic. So while you may have women who are more likely to cry when hearing a sad story, while men would be more unaffected, you also have men who are more likely to react violently when they are angry. Different emotions and different manners of expression. But overall, I would say it's a pretty even split between overly emotional and relaxed people.

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On 07/01/2017 at 2:37 AM, EchoFlame said:

I recently had an argument with someone who tried to claim I "suppress my emotions". Which isn't really true. When I'm angry, sad, etc. I used it constructively. I still feel it and use it. I just don't get emotional often, I'm usually mellow.

Anyway, his argument was that society represses male expression of emotion and that men are really emotional. My argument was that society does encourage the repression of male emotion, but as a majority, men are less emotional.

As in, I think it is fine for men who are more emotional to express emotion, but as a whole, I think men in general are less emotional.

Discuss.

 

i my opinion, the point is not to suppress emotion because it is impossible, it is a part of life.

 

the point is to master oneself in order to master others and life.

 

most people are that :

 

stimulus--- > response   like a pavlovian dog   ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_conditioning )

this is being reactive like animals

as humans, we are above animals , i am not a monkey , i assure you

so   the behaviour is now  :

 

goal ---  > action .   i don't care about the world's stimuli  ( medias, politics, TV etc. ) .

 

because i am not a stupid dog following other people's agenda

this is proactive behaviour based  on thinking 

i am the master of  my response, not a monkey

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by French INTJ

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On 10/01/2017 at 5:53 PM, French INTJ said:

 

i my opinion, the point is not to suppress emotion because it is impossible, it is a part of life.

 

the point is to master oneself in order to master others and life.

 

most people are that :

 

stimulus--- > response   like a pavlovian dog   ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_conditioning )

this is being reactive like animals

as humans, we are above animals , i am not a monkey , i assure you

so   the behaviour is now  :

 

goal ---  > action .   i don't care about the world's stimuli  ( medias, politics, TV etc. ) .

 

because i am not a stupid dog following other people's agenda

this is proactive behaviour based  on thinking 

i am the master of  my response, not a monkey

 

Um. Humans are animals. In fact, they're some of the more emotionally manipulative and hypocritical of the animals on earth. I don't think any point is made by comparing yourself favourably to a monkey - except perhaps that you honestly can't think of any other way of expressing your (apparent) superiority. 

Lovely. Carry on. 

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I think that stoic influenced western society doesn't take time or care for much of male emotion, including building a healthy vocabulary or coping skills.

I think today we would do a bold and new yet similarly poor job at arriving at a healthy place.

In terms of if males are innately more emotional... I don't spend that time caring about that to have a good answer to that problem. I simply don't know.

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On 1/6/2017 at 5:37 PM, EchoFlame said:

I recently had an argument with someone who tried to claim I "suppress my emotions". Which isn't really true. When I'm angry, sad, etc. I used it constructively. I still feel it and use it. I just don't get emotional often, I'm usually mellow.

Anyway, his argument was that society represses male expression of emotion and that men are really emotional. My argument was that society does encourage the repression of male emotion, but as a majority, men are less emotional.

As in, I think it is fine for men who are more emotional to express emotion, but as a whole, I think men in general are less emotional.

Discuss.

I already disagree with your primary argument that says society suppresses male expression.  I see expressive males ALL the time and I see NOBODY attempting to repress them from expressing their feelings.

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On 1/6/2017 at 8:37 PM, EchoFlame said:

I recently had an argument with someone who tried to claim I "suppress my emotions". Which isn't really true. When I'm angry, sad, etc. I used it constructively. I still feel it and use it. I just don't get emotional often, I'm usually mellow.

Anyway, his argument was that society represses male expression of emotion and that men are really emotional. My argument was that society does encourage the repression of male emotion, but as a majority, men are less emotional.

As in, I think it is fine for men who are more emotional to express emotion, but as a whole, I think men in general are less emotional.

Discuss.

Men express all sorts of emotions just as women express all sorts of emotion.

The issue isn't how "loud" someone gets; or whether this one vs that one is "seen crying in public more often" but emotional in general.

Men express road rage; so do women.
Men express "I love you" verbally, with gifts, cards, et cetera; so do women.
Men get angry and hit things, sometimes people; so do women.

"Some people" express emotions in ways that certain societies or sub-groups applaud while others jeer, sneer, and for some, seek reprisal or ignore. 

(Those doing the jeering, sneering and metaphorical applauding are also showing emotion.)

People are people.

What I hear underneath, or reading between the lines, is more like, "Men are not allowed to cry" or "Men are discouraged from showing their sensitive sides."

I was discouraged from crying with incentives such as, "Shut up or I'll knock your teeth down your throat."

Or my father would mock me or one of my female sibs by saying, "Go ahead and cry, it'll wash your eyes out."

And if that didn't stop us, he'd say, "Keep it up and I'll give you something to cry about."

I'm sure many people, if they tune into this thread can relate to being told and shown "which" emotions were permissible at home; which at school; which on a gym mat; which in an actual fight:

Told and shown by authority and peers.

That said, everyone learns too, how to suppress some emotions and accentuate others to get what they want and avoid what they don't want:

It's human nature to use and suppress emotions--part of our defense and offense tool kit.

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