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jphreud

Opposite Gender Friendships

28 posts in this topic

I get on better with the opposite gender. 

Growing up a had a small group of girls and a small group of guys as friends that were often separate, but both as close and we are still in touch. With the guys their girlfriends were often suspicious, but then they tended to date either younger insecure girls or bunny boilers because they lapped up the attention.

Work wise I've always much prefer working with guys too.

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Hmmm interesting question.

My sample sise is way too small. I have more same gender friends (female), but I assume it is because easier aproach - there is little need to explain "I just want to be friends". However I long for oposit sex friends. I think it is because I have a brother. I like his company a lot and want that sort of company and am able to both imagine and handle a completly non-romantic oposit sex friend.


There is a strange thing though, when I am friends with a guy I did'n even fancy a bit before becoming friends, after getting to know him and obviously liking his personality I end up seeinng him as more attractive. This happens to those guys too who are not really my friends but my friends boyfriend and I was wondering what the hell they see in them. Don't get me wrong this is far from the "would sleep with" level just some mild appreciation.

The other strange thing is I would be more inclined to hug a person if I'm 100% that they are just my friend and do not have any behind hopes.

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I tend toward more male friends, and knowing the biological push they endure, find it beneficial to be open about it - an honest conversation about it, toward gaining a mutual understanding of what each expects. I have one friend in particular that I had this conversation with where friendship was considered more important than anything 'more' or 'deeper'. Honesty has gained me more, in more areas, than anything else. Hard? Yes. But worth every bit.

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