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RichKimble

Why are women so defensive about mating choices?

328 posts in this topic

This is just hilarious on this forum. You say something objectively true about women (women are attracted to financial resources and power) and they flip their shit. Nobody said it was the only factor, and nobody said that personality didn't come into it. They simple said that a man's financial situation is impactful in how attracted you are to him. 

Ladies, this doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you like every other female of every other species on the planet. Amazonian female frogs are attracted to the biggest frog, Female birds of paradise are attracted to the prettiest male bird who conducts the best ritual. Why are you so reticent to admit that the amount of money a guy has might just be a part of why you are attracted to him? Honestly, it just tells me that you as an individual lie if you say money makes no difference in your attraction to someone. 

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This isn't the appropriate audience. You're preaching to the wrong choir. The majority of people on this forum are sapiosexuals.

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Because knowledge is power!

And we can't have the patriarchy gaining any power.

So, deny deny deny, maintain the mystique. Girls are supposed to be a mystery, remember? This gives them plausable deniability, ability to change their mind like the wind and shit. It's useful, can't go taking that away

Edited by razgrim

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1 minute ago, Cak said:

This isn't the appropriate audience. You're preaching to the wrong choir. The majority of people on this forum are sapiosexuals.

That just sounds like some trendy bullshit if I'm honest. I'm sure an intelligent man is real attractive living in the back of a Ford Pinto.

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1 minute ago, RichKimble said:

I'm sure an intelligent man is real attractive living in the back of a Ford Pinto.

FWIW, I think you're hot.:loveeyes:

Feel better?

Edited by Cak

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Just now, Cak said:

FWIW, I think you're hot.

Feel better?

Look, you may or may not believe me, but I really don't care if anybody on here thinks I'm attractive. I am genuinely curious why women get so defensive when something that is statistically verifiable (women are attracted to men with money and power) is stated. 

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1 minute ago, RichKimble said:

Look, you may or may not believe me, but I really don't care if anybody on here thinks I'm attractive. I am genuinely curious why women get so defensive when something that is statistically verifiable (women are attracted to men with money and power) is stated. 

I think that you are attempting to generalize the results of the statistics you're quoting to the wrong choir; ie. the vast majority of women on this forum of which that is less likely to apply to.

Edited by Cak

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Just now, Cak said:

I think that you are attempting to generalize the results of the statistics you're quoting to the wrong choir; ie. women on this forum who that is less likely to apply to.

I still want to hear their input. 

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48 minutes ago, RichKimble said:

I still want to hear their input. 

Fair enough. For the general understanding that women are attracted to men for their status and resources-- the farther we get away from the 1950's and 1960's-- the farther we move away from that notion. With respect to human attraction, it simply isn't as black-and-white as the ladyfrog picking the biggest frog.

There are certain observable trends, and the trends change over time. 

If we look at a poor country, you will see that women will have a lot of offspring to enhance the likelihood of her genes being passed on and on and on. Thus it is important for the male to be able to support the female and the kids, and it's important for the female to be youthful and radiant to be able to bear all of those kids. In the poor country, you will also frequently see women in more traditional roles.

If we look at a wealthier country, women frequently have average birth rates of 2 or 3, because the probability of survival for the offspring is higher. Resources/status may still be important for women-- but it is not as necessary as the aforementioned example. In a wealthier country, you will frequently see women in nontraditional roles. Plus, logically it would make sense that a woman or a man be attracted to someone intelligent or funny, as those traits are desirable in our society, vital to our overall health, and often brew success.

(Youth/radiance/health/beauty etc. is still a factor)

Then look at your great-grandmother's generation.

Each generation and each setting has different values that change over time.

On a worldwide scale, I would say that poor women or women without very many rights will value resources/status far more than wealthier women or women with a lot of rights. (Sorry, a bit obvious).

I am not saying that women in general are not attracted to wealth and resources. I am just saying that it is becoming less and less important. It is probably commonly the least important among well-educated, intelligent, not broke, women. Although as with anything, that's likely not always the case. 

Some people find status and resources attractive.

When addressed about it, one may get defensive because of the pressures to be strong and independent.

When addressed about it, one may get defensive because they don't want to appear shallow.

We can go on and on.

 

TLDR: Amazonian frogs don't have burritos, banks, or booze.

Edited by Cak

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If I had to wager a guess, it probably has something to do with the perception that most of the threads discussing this topic are full of men telling women that they are wrong about what they find attractive.

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1 minute ago, Paloma said:

If I had to wager a guess, it probably has something to do with the perception that most of the threads discussing this topic are full of men telling women that they are wrong about what they find attractive.

How can you be wrong about what you find attractive? You can lie about it, but I don't see how you could be wrong. 

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1 hour ago, RichKimble said:

I still want to hear their input. 

No you don't. 

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6 minutes ago, RichKimble said:

How can you be wrong about what you find attractive? You can lie about it, but I don't see how you could be wrong. 

Exactly. Yet, there appear to be plenty of men in these threads stating that is the case. 

Male forum member: "Height is the number one reason women pick a man."

Chorus of female forum members: "No it is not."

Male forum member: "Wrong. Height is definitely the number one reason why women pick a man."

 

It gets old after a while.

Edited by Paloma

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Just now, Paloma said:

Exactly. Yet, there appear to be plenty of men in these threads stating that is the case. 

Male forum member: "Height is the number one reason women pick a man."

Chorus of female forum members: "No it is not."

Male forum member: "Wrong. Height is definitely the reason number one reason why women pick a man."

 

It gets old after a while.

That just sounds like an expression of insecurity if I'm honest. Everybody refers to an uncontrollable trait to say why they can't get laid. Women do it with "Skinny Bitches" as well. 

All I am arguing is that monetary resources is definitely a factor in mate choice for women. Do you disagree with me? And if you don't why are women so scared to say they want a guy with money?

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Your argument doesn't make sense. Yes, money is a factor in choice of partners, but this does both ways. Money is a factor for both parties in choosing a partner,...

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2 minutes ago, SleepingDragon said:

Your argument doesn't make sense. Yes, money is a factor in choice of partners, but this does both ways. Money is a factor for both parties in choosing a partner,...

I really doubt that. 

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Just now, RichKimble said:

That just sounds like an expression of insecurity if I'm honest. Everybody refers to an uncontrollable trait to say why they can't get laid. Women do it with "Skinny Bitches" as well. 

All I am arguing is that monetary resources is definitely a factor in mate choice for women. Do you disagree with me? And if you don't why are women so scared to say they want a guy with money?

 

That might be the case for some women, but my boyfriend can barely pay his rent. Perhaps the women who you think are "scared" to admit that they want a guy with money genuinely don't care about money.

It is the determination to deny the experiences of the women with whom you're having this discussion in order to make all women fit into some generalizable model that gets annoying.

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3 minutes ago, Paloma said:

That might be the case for some women, but my boyfriend can barely pay his rent. Perhaps the women who you think are "scared" to admit that they want a guy with money genuinely don't care about money.

It is the determination to deny the experiences of the women with whom you're having this discussion in order to make all women fit into some generalizable model that gets annoying.

Statistically it is more of a factor than women here want to admit. Not one on here has said money is important and that sets off my bullshit sensor. 

Also in real life it has been one woman who I have talked to who admitted money was important. Even just using your own observation, which guy gets more pussy. The guy in the Maserati, or the guy in the Daewoo?

Edited by RichKimble

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Statistically it is more of a factor among women that do not frequent this forum. So your bullshit censor needs a calibration.

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Just now, RichKimble said:

Statistically it is more of a factor than women here want to admit. Not one on here has said money is important and that sets off my bullshit sensor. 

Then carry on relying on your statistics and disregarding what women here are saying. You asked why some women on here are being defensive in these threads. I answered. If you think we're all liars, there isn't much we can do about that.

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Here mate read this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out-group_homogeneity

 

The implications of this effect on stereotyping have been noted. Perceivers tend to have impressions about the diversity or variability of group members around those central tendencies or typical attributes of those group members. Thus, outgroup stereotypicality judgments are overestimated, supporting the view that out-group stereotypes are overgeneralizations.

Edited by Cak

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2 minutes ago, Paloma said:

Then carry on relying on your statistics and disregarding what women here are saying. You asked why some women on here are being defensive in these threads. I answered. If you think we're all liars, there isn't much we can do about that.

So your answer is that you aren't defensive. 

I'll just have to test that over the coming months or however long I'm here. 

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Just now, RichKimble said:

So your answer is that you aren't defensive. 

I'll just have to test that over the coming months or however long I'm here. 

 

No. My answer is that women don't like being told that their perspectives are wrong because they don't fit with your statistics.

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