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irini

What is the number one reason for men to choose women?

53 posts in this topic

I think we can all be curious of what reason people choose a mate. Now there might be differences between men and women. Let's try to find out first about men.

What would be the number one reason for a man to choose a woman?

 

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What do you mean choose? Start a relationship or have sex with? If it is start a relationship then physical attractiveness plus personality traits I personally like such as intelligence, compassion, docility, and submissiveness. If it is just sex, than just physical attractiveness. I can put up with annoying personality for a few hours.

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Physical attractiveness. If there is none, then the relationship often doesn't even form in the first place. After that initial thing is checked off the list then there are much more before a man fully commits/falls in love/chooses etc.

At least that's my opinion.

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18 hours ago, irini said:

What would be the number one reason for a man to choose a woman?

Well I tried goats but they were too short.

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On 11/30/2016 at 4:00 AM, irini said:

What would be the number one reason for a man to choose a woman?

You enjoy their company a lot.

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I don't know about men in general. I'm going to say that it is usually little more than physical attraction for some men, initially at least, with little considerations given to other facets. For others, it is more from the start.

 

For me it is compatibility, determined by mutual physical attraction, mutual psychological connections, mutual appreciation of each other's company, similar values, and similar fundamental goals and desires where you can travel a life path together to enough degree where a relationship becomes feasible.

 

Edited by holdyourhead

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20 hours ago, poizon said:

Physical attractiveness. If there is none, then the relationship often doesn't even form in the first place. After that initial thing is checked off the list then there are much more before a man fully commits/falls in love/chooses etc.

At least that's my opinion.

Spot on.

Second is acceptance.

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Physical appearance is absolutely #1. Without it, I don't even bother considering the rest of my list.
#2 is the way she thinks - like, is she a critical thinker? Does her mind get occupied by clothing and material objects, or does she consider the events and and happenings around her etc.

I can't stand women who look like they have nothing going on in their head. 

Edited by demoniaco

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1 hour ago, demoniaco said:

Physical appearance is absolutely #1. Without it, I don't even bother considering the rest of my list.
#2 is the way she thinks - like, is she a critical thinker? Does her mind get occupied by clothing and material objects, or does she consider the events and and happenings around her etc.

I can't stand women who look like they have nothing going on in their head. 

So her appearance is the most important thing about her ... but you don't want her to agree.  Got it.

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On 11/30/2016 at 4:00 AM, irini said:

I think we can all be curious of what reason people choose a mate. Now there might be differences between men and women. Let's try to find out first about men.

What would be the number one reason for a man to choose a woman?

 

Evolutionary imperative. Intelligent Design. (Take your choice.)  

Pheromones.  The artistic perfection of a woman's body.  The ying-yang of male-female relationships.  Raising a family together.

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On 30/11/2016 at 9:00 AM, irini said:

What would be the number one reason for a man to choose a woman?

Because Wookies have a habit of tearing your arms off when you beat them at chess.

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I can take a smart-ugly girl for hours,I can't take a hot-stupid girl for seconds.

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20 hours ago, Holli said:

So her appearance is the most important thing about her ... but you don't want her to agree.  Got it.

How are those two things even remotely connected to what I said? 

Are you suggesting women need to blank in the head and filled with materialism in order to be physically attractive? I'm not even going to highlight how stupid that statement is. The fact that you jumped to that conclusion based on what I said tells me that you're just trying to find something to rant about.

Edited by demoniaco

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3 hours ago, demoniaco said:

How are those two things even remotely connected to what I said? 

Are you suggesting women need to blank in the head and filled with materialism in order to be physically attractive? I'm not even going to highlight how stupid that statement is. The fact that you jumped to that conclusion based on what I said tells me that you're just trying to find something to rant about.

 

On 12/2/2016 at 5:44 AM, demoniaco said:

Physical appearance is absolutely #1. Without it, I don't even bother considering the rest of my list.
#2 is the way she thinks - like, is she a critical thinker? Does her mind get occupied by clothing and material objects, or does she consider the events and and happenings around her etc.

I can't stand women who look like they have nothing going on in their head. 

This is an odd reaction to what I thought was a very valid question.

You say her physical appearance is the most important thing, more important by far than anything else. Your second thing was she has to be this thinker and can't be obsessed with clothes and material objects. Clothing has a big impact on a person's physical appearance, but you don't want her to think about that.

So this comment 

23 hours ago, Holli said:

So her appearance is the most important thing about her ... but you don't want her to agree.  Got it.

Is exactly what I thought when I read your post.

It drives me crazy when I see comments like this. Women don't just jump out of bed in the morning looking like supermodels. In general, women who look good care about their looks and spend time thinking about how to present themselves. And you can't tell what a woman has going on in her head just by looking at her. I wager you want women to take time to get to know you, it's strange that you base so many decisions on information that can be gathered without even talking to a woman.

But, hey, everyone is different. Good luck on your search.

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Thinking their flaws are attractive.

Some people can channel their flaws to achieve good things. Someone who can take something negative and put it towards something positive is very respectable. 

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1 hour ago, AesSedai said:

 

This is an odd reaction to what I thought was a very valid question.

You say her physical appearance is the most important thing, more important by far than anything else. Your second thing was she has to be this thinker and can't be obsessed with clothes and material objects. Clothing has a big impact on a person's physical appearance, but you don't want her to think about that.

So this comment 

Is exactly what I thought when I read your post.

It drives me crazy when I see comments like this. Women don't just jump out of bed in the morning looking like supermodels. In general, women who look good care about their looks and spend time thinking about how to present themselves. And you can't tell what a woman has going on in her head just by looking at her. I wager you want women to take time to get to know you, it's strange that you base so many decisions on information that can be gathered without even talking to a woman.

But, hey, everyone is different. Good luck on your search.

Ughhh, I apologise @Holli... I was meant to say "Physically attractive" not "Physical appearance". 
I see the confusion..

Edited by demoniaco

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1 hour ago, Analyze said:

Thinking their flaws are attractive.

Some people can channel their flaws to achieve good things. Someone who can take something negative and put it towards something positive is very respectable. 

What do you mean by this? Can you give an example?

41 minutes ago, demoniaco said:

Ughhh, I apologise @Holli... I was meant to say "Physically attractive" not "Physical appearance". 
I see the confusion..

I don't understand how physically attractive and physical appearance are different. Could you enlighten me, please?

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25 minutes ago, AesSedai said:

What do you mean by this? Can you give an example?

I don't understand how physically attractive and physical appearance are different. Could you enlighten me, please?

Physical attractiveness relates to the degree of a person's physical features and whether or not they are considered aesthetically pleasing:
weight, shape, facial features, body features etc. etc. - It has nothing to do with clothing.

Physical Appearance is the way someone looks in a general sense:
Height, weight, Clothing, personal effects, body modifications, accessories (hats, jewellery, makeup), physiological changes (blushing, laughing, aging etc).


I.E the comment Holli made regarding materialism makes sense with "Physical Appearance" but not with "Physical Attraction".

Edited by demoniaco

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In general? Physical attractiveness comes first. Very few people of either sex can deepen a relationship on more intangible things if they find their SO to be gross. But the features and things people find attractive vary greatly between men. And the relationship does not last if you don't find their personality attractive.

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6 hours ago, AesSedai said:

What do you mean by this? Can you give an example?

Someone who uses their pride to elevate their status, but turns around and uses that status to treat their subordinates well.

Someone who uses their greed to accumulate a lot of money, but uses it to ensure a safe future for their family.

Someone who acknowledges that they have too much wrath in their being, but channels it into something like sport or fighting for a cause they believe in.

It shows wisdom to accept what you are and try to use it for the better rather than trying to deny what you are. All people are flawed, and it shows me that someone is aware of, and has explored, their personality when they've managed to reach a mode of functioning that allows them to use their flaws for a purpose. I like people who know what they are and have made peace with it, without being morally deplorable. So not something like: "I'm a murderer, and I'm fine with that".

I guess we can call this emotional awareness, but it's specific in what it concerns. 

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I've always felt it takes more inner strength to not steal if you're a thief than to not steal if the thought never crossed your mind. 

 

It it is like the material girl who knows she is sort of vapid and via a good sense of self-deprecating humor and self-awareness, the flaw seems attractive. Is that a good example?

Physical or otherwise, I've always found people who knew their flaws and either accepted or worked on them as appropriate more attractive than those either oblivious or insecure.

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I think instinctively you are drawn through physical attraction but when I think on it more I value personality more because really.. You can change your appearance but personality is a tad harder.

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Looks, aura, intellect. if there's a good mix in this, I'm interested.

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