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JTG

Core Member
  • Content count

    30,950
  • Joined

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About JTG

  • Rank
    Core Member

Personality

  • MBTI
    INTJ
  • Enneagram
    5w4
  • Global 5/SLOAN
    RCUeI
  • Astrology Sign
    Capricorn
  • Personal DNA
    Reserved analyst

Converted

  • Biography
    There's not too much to learn about me that fits in a bio box. Talk to me to learn about me :D
  • Location
    Pittsburgh
  • Occupation
    mechanic
  • Interests
    thinking, learning
  • Gender
  • Personal Text
    Stop looking at me

Recent Profile Visitors

7,822 profile views
  1. En route back home. Spent the weekend in Vegas and despite my best intentions ended up doing nothing remotely Vegas-y other than burning $15 in quarter slots at my hotel's casino. No circus, no magic, no comedy. Still totally worth it. Wouldn't change a thing.
  2. Sounds like some combination of shyness and low confidence. Ignoring the fear of being judged or rejected is easier said than done
  3. And yet: I think it's not abnormal to be where you're at at your age. Learning to flirt and put yourself out there is incredibly awkward at first. You will probably be embarrassed and hurt several times before you get the hang of it. If seeking connections with people is your goal, you've got to be open to forming bonds. Putting yourself out there is almost a prerequisite, and sharing facts about yourself is not quite the same as openness. Not judging, by the way. From around 18 to 22 I was constantly embarrassing myself trying to learn how to make friends and find relationships. Trial by fire, I guess
  4. I don't necessarily have a problem with it when women take this approach with me (i.e. asking a mutual acquaintance about me) except when it leads to asymmetrical understanding/expectations. Sometimes people do this because it's safer than approaching the person directly, but it may lead to a sort of idealized "love from afar" situation, where you get close and behave in a very familiar way when the other person views you as a near stranger. In other words, don't explore your relationship with him vicariously through his sister. He needs to be a part of the "getting to know you" process as well. It also might freak him out of he's feeling skittish and then walks in one day to find you and his sister giggling over his baby photos. It could feel like you're rushing things or moving in on his space before he's ready. Be friends with his sister for the sake of being friends with his sister. Don't use it as a crutch to carry you deeper into the relationship with him. The two of you will talk about him, and you'll learn about him by being close with her, but don't make that the primary function of your friendship
  5. My advice to like 90% of this forum is to work on intimacy/vulnerability issues. People want love and affirmation without the danger of letting others close. You can get it, but only if you enjoy superficial relationships. I should bookmark this post and just link it every time somebody complains about no love life
  6. I used to say "what the fuck, Japan?" a lot, but anymore it's just "yep, sounds about right."
  7. Oh! I hadn't thought of using that word as an explanation for why JFK's famous "Berliner" statement was grammatically incorrect. The difference between "I am transient" and "I am a transient." I normally use "Danish" but it's some strange fascination of mine to think of other words that fit. No clue why that was my first thought when I saw this thread
  8. Min/max at life? Yeah that's probably a factor. I didn't really learn how to socialize until around age 20, and it was a couple more years before I knew how to flirt. Probably late 20s before I was emotionally mature enough to intentionally develop and maintain intimate relationships. And this was after spending my teens painfully aware that I didn't have a social life, watching romance and friendships from the outside. It was a conscious decision around age 18 to start working on it, and it was not easy at all. I'm still conscious of it and trying to improve myself in the area of interpersonal interaction. Work has always been easy for me, which is odd because school was a nightmare. I barely graduated on time. Spent the vast majority of my student life just scraping by. I feel purposeful working, in a way that I don't with most activities
  9. Another 60 hour week. I had the stunning realization the other day that that used to be a light work week. I used to work two fulltime jobs, with occasional overtime at one or both. The job I had before this one had me working about 90 hours per week, every week. That's really hard on relationships though. I can't help wondering how my last serious relationship might have gone, if I hadn't had that soul destroying workload at the time. Relationships in general suffer from workaholism. I'm wondering if I've got intimacy issues or something, but it's not like my life lacks in intimate connections. I just spend so much time out of the social sphere that my deep connections are maintained over text messages, phone calls, video chats, and the occasional visit to a faraway friend. So while I'm blessed to have several people in my life who I love and trust, there's no real dating to speak of, and sexual encounters are uncommon. At the same time, I have all the freedom I could want. I'm planning a trip to Vegas the weekend before VDay and again this summer for defcon. There's a trip to the woods with some internet friends, and I'll tentatively be hitting up Alaska this summer as well for some sightseeing and fun. I could not do most (probably any) of these if I was attached and working a standard 9-5. All in all, I'm really happy with my life
  10. "Leagues" aren't a real thing once everyone's a grownup. Either there's mutual attraction or there's not. If there is, then it's a matter of whether circumstances and personalities match up adequately to foster some boom boom. People generally shouldn't put themselves down by saying others are out of their league, and it's especially terrible (and unattractive imo) to refer to oneself as out of somebody else's league
  11. Work gave us two days off for Christmas instead of the usual one, and Christmas fell on a weekend. So the work week was a super convenient Wed-Fri instead of some kind of broken up partial week fragmented nonsense. I managed to work 42 hours in those three days. Backing up a bit, I spent the long weekend flying down south and renting a car to surprise my mom for Christmas out in the middle of nowhere where she lives. She just about had a cow - said it was the best Christmas present ever. Even went with her to see my great grandmother, who also lives nearby and is turning 100 this year. She's in surprisingly good shape for somebody who has lived through a hundred years of this bullshit planet. She's a good woman. My mom, of all our relatives, is the most like her. I'm pretty sure my mom will someday be the matriarch of the family like my great grandmother is now. I can only hope to someday be as loved and respected and well-storied as they are. It was nice to see my mother so happy. She worries a lot about her kids, even though we're both doing pretty well. I don't know why she gets so excited to spend time with me. I'm super boring. She liked it though, and I guess in a Christmas present that's one of the things that matters. I also got to see some friends down south! Inbound I stayed with a lovely forum friend (who has gotten much lovelier since the last time we saw each other!) and outbound I surprised another friend with a visit. Video games were had at both houses haha. That was like a bonus Christmas present for myself - not just seeing my mom but also getting to see some friends.
  12. I wear my elephant trunk a bit lower down, but that is my choice as a trans elephant
  13. Maybe that's what you're discussing, but I think nobody will argue* that a parent imposing a specific gender role on their child is healthy. I think it's pretty obvious that trying to force your kid to be the gender they're not is harmful. That's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about the people themselves who experience gender dysphoria and want to transition. Not people who are having it forced on them. People who want it but are being told they're sick or broken. Talked to (or about) like they're diseased for feeling that way. (*caveat: except people like you. You're actually arguing for this, though you don't seem to realize it)
  14. The impression I'm getting from your posts is that all that book taught you was to be so paranoid of mind control that it gives you an excuse to reject reality if you don't like it. Because things that make you uncomfortable must be nefarious conspiracies. I'll admit that my interest in the science of it is limited a) because I'm happy with my biological sex and b) because when people I trust tell me they feel a certain way, I believe them. So there's no need for me to read the scientific info on it because I'm not opposed to the concept. You, on the other hand, are ignoring arguments informed by actual science in favor of mind control conspiracies and my ad hominems. Just want you to be aware your head is in the sand, if you didn't know already
  15. You've reeeeeeaally got to learn how to look in the mirror, bub. Unless you're like 50+ and then you're some combination of an antique, irrelevant, and dying off. In which case I'll chalk it up to old dogs being set in their ways, or something like that