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About cassowary

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  1. Not sharing every breathing moment with co-workers generates curiosity. They will ask you such questions so they can try and categorise you, figure you out. In not revealing much to others, they will often fill in the gaps with their imagination...so Just feed them lots of cat or dog anecdotes or descriptions of an amazing bird you saw or how you rescued a spider from a toilet.... ( stuff others consider boring)...then at least you will be labelled as an animal lover and they will stop the questions. Gardening is another thing you get away with. Pretend you spent your days in the garden planting exotic species of plants they never heard of. As for the travelling alone thing...tell them you meet more people when travelling alone :)
  2. Sounds like you have given it all you can. But what holds you back from escaping? Guilt? The sense of duty you mentioned? The feeling that she will not survive if you abandon her? For whatever reason, it seems to be a tough decision for you, but necessary for your own well being. In doing what is best for you, may in some way be best for her also. I would not underestimate her ability to get by without you.
  3. I was new to a job in a hospital and got lost during lunch break. For some reason I decided to follow a motorbike thinking it would lead me back there. I ran behind it, through bushes and rough terrain bruising my way through everything in my path. I eventually arrived back at the hospital only to realise my body, like a pin cushion was covered in thorns, around two inches long and deeply embedded in my flesh. Two specialists, male and female, dropped what they were doing to remove the thorns. Their interest and willingness to help surprised me. I could really feel each one being pulled out, both the pain and the relief. The specialists were focused on counting how many they were pulling out. The figure was in the 40's before I woke up.
  4. You could encourage her to join the army. There are great career opportunities for explosive ordnance disposal specialists. They pay well and provide free training.
  5. I am new here so the topic isnt boring for me. :) In spite of being INTJ I am very emotional and basically have to feign being lobotomised to cope with work. However one cannot keep this up forever , so when the emotions explode, people run for cover. The 'bitching' that I suspect occurs behind my back probably labels me as being 'moody', 'erratic...etc.. but never intimidating. The role play and compromise of personality is soul destroying. Because I am organised, experienced and good at what I do , I try not to let other's judgements unsettle me; but it is unsettling... I have ideas on how things can be organised more efficiently; how stupid and idotic practises could be rectified, but I no longer share these as I am tired of having megalomaniacal male employers. It is fucking awful actually, and as soon as this batch of debts is paid off...I am OUT.
  6. Just read that link and came across the phrase 'transcendental longing'. I have often wondered if this longing, never fulfilled in this world, suggests an existence we are familiar with outside this world. Nature comes close to bringing me joy in the moment but that joy is always tainted by the fact it is transient and not 'everlasting'. And, often such joy is based on memory, nostalgia or a sense of something other than what is. Wish I could articulate my thoughts around this in words... May have to start reading Lewis again. I have loved his writings in the past.
  7. Accurately describes the majority of people I have to deal with in my job; those I work with, work for and serve.
  8. Sgt Laura from Kentucky sent me a message via this forum. It is spam.

    I didnt respond but she should be deleted as a member..........

  9. Neither. I distract myself : -with art -reading quotes from great authors/poets on despair. -watch real life crime drama. -go to bed and say 'fuck the world' -sometimes remind myself I can opt out at any time. This can be quite consoling. -compose a mantra ( one that rhymes) , reaffirming who and what I am. -imagine I am soldier on the front line; battle weary but a survivor, therefore a hero in my own way. Basically ride it out knowing somewhere deep down the low phase will pass . Circumstances may or may not change but for some reason, my reactions vary. I have given up analysing it .
  10. 31% ...contained level This question is ridiculously one-sided. 14 - You only get what you give. What do you think of this? It’s untrue, I always get more than I give It’s not always true, sometimes you can get more than what you give It’s true, but sometimes one would like to get more than what one gives Very true, those who give a lot also receive a lot, those who little also receive little
  11. Cheating/affairs is a recipe for disaster. I have cheated whilst being extremely drunk ( years ago , when younger) and while it made me closer to my partner at the time, the self loathing and guilt made it all the more awful, especially as I could care less about sex. My last partner who I thought was a 'soul mate' cheated on me while I was overseas and that was devastating. The OW was looking for a 'baby daddy' and got what she wanted; the pregnancy, the kid...the lot. In hindsight she did me a favour. Apparently the five elements that are necessary for a successful r'ship are Love, Trust, Respect, Chemistry, Like ( loving and liking your partner are different). All five elements need to be present. If one or both parties cheat or have an affair, the trust and respect are the first links in the chain to be broken. Then it is only a matter of time before the relationship falls apart. This seems to hold true , based on my experience. Currently I wonder if the human species is cut out for monogamy. This social construct has certainly bred an inborn element of possessiveness and jealousy.
  12. 1.Love 2.Money 3.Freedom
  13. That is good advice when dealing with all aspects of other people...'not to take it personally'. I gave up seeking understanding from others , long ago :) but still overreact in certain situations. Understanding depression is a weird one. I myself fail to empathise when I am a going through a good patch and can forget the low feeling. It is like not being able to imagine/really feel how cold it can get in winter when sweltering on a summers day. I try to, as a mental exercise and often visualise snow covered alps and ice fog when in the sun, but it doesnt work :) Consider it a medical ailment like diabetes type 2. There is a genetic and environmental component. Lifestyle changes and medications help and can cure diabetes. But in the case of depression we are dealing with the brain. Medications are not refined enough yet to target the individual variants in how it manifests. The Lifestyle changes required can mean poverty and destitution if a depressive cannot handle being in society. Having a disease that is aggravated by the presence of others and the dictation by society of how we should be, think and feel...is tricky and not easily rectified by altering perception. Unless we are susceptible to being brainwashed. I was told by an alternative therapist once that 'great joy comes from acceptance'...huh..I don't think so. I would elaborate...but seriously do not want to hijack this thread... :)
  14. I get that a lot and have been accused of always standing up for the person in the wrong, when I am merely analysing or thinking aloud. Especially when it concerns an event exhibiting extraordinary behaviour . Sometimes I verbalise a certain perspective because I believe it merits some thought and sometimes it is purely to provoke a debate, discussion or an exchange of ideas. Example most people hate pedophiles. I often point out , when the topic arises, that most pedophiles were themselves sexually abused as kids. It doesnt mean I am justifying their behaviour or have sympathy for them but it interests me to see other's reaction to this. Will they soften a little in their attack, pause for reflection or attach any relevancy to the fact.?
  15. I am a hermes girl...and only wear it at work to give myself a lift. It is the only brand I like. One bottle can last many years. I often dislike other peoples's choices and hate if friends hug me and I become doused in their fragrance for 24hrs. Cheap perfumes make my nose itchy and irritated. I also hate when people wear it if trekking or bush walking. However at times I have been in a city or airport and caught the waft of amazing fragrances that have made me want to seek them out. Sandalwood fragrances makes me ill, having been exposed to a cheap version whilst working with a colleague. My favourite fragrances are natural eg. wood fires, rain soaked earth, gum leaves etc. It is quite impossible to capture these in a commercial product. I find the effect of certain fragrances powerful regarding mood.