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Moonheart

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About Moonheart

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  1. No matter how many sentences you can quote and no matter how many "means..." you are going to put besides them, the meanings are still all YOUR interpretations of the words of someone else. And interpretations are not proofs, nor truths. It's just the way you see thing, and here, you see them wrong.
  2. No. And stating that you know better what someone was implying that this person itself is completly stupid.
  3. Nope, I was not implying anything of the sort.
  4. But you're not a psychatrist once you know a bit about cognitive functions, and even if you were a psychatrist, you shouldn't gamble your couple on a "maybe".
  5. Did you heard that Jung also had a difficult mariage, cheated on his wife for several year with two women, and that Freud qualified some of Jung's unusual dreams to be symptomatic of the failure of his relationship with his wife? :) Cognitive functions are a great help to understand people *better*, but it's not an omnipotent tool. Special cases required special answers, not blindly following a psychological categorization.... and what is more special than a SO?
  6. I'm amazed that we are here in a forum for INTJ, people rumored for seeing the greater scheme of things, and that we see so many threads asking advice on relationships through MBTI with no one giving some insight of why MBTI should be handled with an extreme caution in such situations. So, I'm going to give my Te some space, and let it tell you what I do think everyone should memorize first, before taking any decision based on a MBTI analysis. MBTI is a psychological typing method that try to classify the variety of mankind into 16 different categories based on how the human brain handle information. That simple description should learn immediately some alarm in many INTJ minds here: First, it's bound that among all people some of them will just not match accurately as you cannot integrate a large variety in a simplified classification without creating "exceptions". Second, the way someone handle information is not the only factor in their behavior: Past experiences, traumas, educations, moral values and beliefs, as well as many other things interfere with how someone acts or reacts. Those pitfalls are often used by scientist to contest the validity of the method, but besides, the method is still highly regarded by many people....why? Because despite of having flaws, the method has good results on a statistical level. If, for exemple, you seek to sort 2.000 candidate applying for a job, the method could fail at identifying correctly the adequateness of 10% of them to the said job, but with 1.800 candidates still correctly sorted and classified, you still have a lot enough to work with... and the same way, if you use MBTI to provide you guidelines over how to deal with people in everyday life, you will fail sometimes due to some pitfall of the MBTI, but it would have already helped you plenty in 9 out of 10 cases of conflicts during your lifetime. Simply put, the MBTI has a satisfying % of accuracy on a global scale... but what about the local side? Dealing with a romantic interest, SO or spouse is not dealing with a statistic. It's dealing with a local, very precise and peculiar, case of human being. And this ONE case, so precious to you, will probably trigger some, if not all, of the pitfalls of the method: It will not be accurately typed, or have special cases relevant to its past that will make their behavior astray from standard, or force themselves accordingly to some values or beliefs. Since this being is not a statistic, you can only use MBTI to deal with long terms problem, like "on all the problems I'll encounter with this one over a lifetime, many of them will be MBTI relevant, so better I be prepared for the efforts they will require from both of us in advance", but simply not as a guideline to deal with one local problem with that one special being. Naturaly, it COULD work sometimes to do so. To take the MBTI as the method to solve the matter...but what if you use it evrytime? You will then soon or later land in one of the pitfall or blind side of the method, and then alienate your SO by stubbornly trying to force a way that is just inadequate, to make the SO feel be just seen as a simplistic 4 letters category, with no real attention to what it's true nature and uniqueness is. Something that you could get along with in work or friendship situation, but certainly not in a romantic one. When speaking of dating, love and couples, the MBTI can be only used as a way to understand to associate the good and the bad side of a dominant cognitive functions as a whole, as you can learn to tolerate more the bad side for the sake of enjoying the good side of your partner. It's a tool for understanding a good part of your beloved, but not a tool to understand everything about it, nor to put it in a box and then treating it as a simplistic scheme. It's also not a tool for solving every problem you will encounter with a soulmate, and even less a tool to dismiss problems: "I'm X, you're Y, so it's normal and cannot be helped" is the worst of way to use the MBTI, and should be a banned thought in a couple situation. Your SO deserve a lot better than just finding an excuse. If there is a problem due to different MBTI types, it still means you can work on it. There is no such thing that an human unable to use all the functions if he wants, it just requires some effort if it's a function lower in your stack, but your beloved deserve that you do efforts. And naturaly, a sane relationship require efforts from both sides.
  7. Voted. But I had ton of dates that were not total disasters. You can fail your primary purpose but succeed to have a good evening.
  8. Nope, it doesn't make me feel more normal. It makes me feel stupid. My brain is my strong point. Everything that impair its work just diminish my worth. A drunk version of myself is an inferior version of myself, while "normal" people are not my inferior. They are just different.
  9. What we call evolution is the point when the natural selection happen to retain a noticeable mutation for being more fit to the race survival process. The natural selection being a cycle of passing genes, then ensuring the child can reach the stade of development where it will pass its genes too, anything that improves the likehood of one of those two things will be an "evolutionary advantage" Intelligence improve a lot the capacity of a parent to figure the potential threats to its offspring future, and to find ways to prevent them to endanger it, and thus, is a great evolutionary advantage. So great that it allowed us to become the dominant species on a earth filled with creatures physicaly stronger, faster, more agile and resiliant than us. A lion is just superior to us on every physical aspect, yet, an human can kill a lion. In fact human could even wipe the lion race from the earth anytime. Because of our intelligence.
  10. Honestly speaking, even if my previous answer was not a lie either, I do think men silent because they are auto-programmed for this. Any man learn to shut up his dirty thoughts in front of a woman they have a romantic interest in early in life. Far before they get their first sexual experience. Women become wary of intimacy with a man that just tell to much of it, if they not socially bash the said man, and by the time they become full-fledged teenagers, I think most of men are already conditionned to shut the fuck up themselves about those toughts. When growing into adults, the women have craved into us a primal fear of being rejected if we can't keep this part of us quiet. And this is even worst for considerate and moral men, who add to that fear of rejection a deep care to not hurt a woman's feelings. Which leads us to the bedroom: We have here men who are used to shut up the dirty thoughts, in a situation when this is almost the only kind of thoughts that pass into their brain, and when their rational judgement capacity is severely impaired. Every sign enforce our habit to keep those thought for themselves rather than screwing everything up. Naturaly women are more lenient at that time than, let's say in a public restaurant, but it's terribly hard to figure at which extent when your brain is filled about how fucking exciting that naked body in front of your eyes is (to avoid cruder exemples). It takes a lot of experiments, a long relationship, unless the woman starts to shout you out loud "Call me a whore! INSULT ME!" which is rather uncommon. Carefulness dictates that staying silent until you reach that deeper understanding is better. Then, once the limit becomes clear, the man will have still to fight to un-learn the habit that was carved into him during a lot of years.... which will be another challenge
  11. We told you: Start with a long and sincere apologies to him for what you did.
  12. It's just hard to talk while pounding with all my strength...
  13. There is an important question you should ask yourself: Did he change? If he didn't, you know what is going to happen: if you open the door, he's going to get soon or later closer than a simple friend, because he did once and have no reason (You're the one hurt) to not do it twice. And he's going the same man you felt in love with, so you're not going to be able to resist the desire to hope. And.... because he's the same, he'll hurt you exactly the same way soon or later. You can only befriend him again if he seriously changed somehow, if he either understood he's not the one you need on a romantical level, or either reflected seriously on his past behavior and decided to never do that again. Everything else would lead to disaster and instinctively, you know it, and this is why he terrifies you: He demonstrated his capacity to destroy you from within, and unless he changed, he still have it. Sugar coated poison is still poison. Don't eat it twice until you are sure the toxins are gone in it.