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Mynameiswhy

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About Mynameiswhy

  • Rank
    New Member

Personality

  • MBTI
    INFP
  • Astrology Sign
    Aries

Converted

  • Gender
    Female

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  1. I wouldn't say it's necessarily new. She gets in moods pretty easy, and it became more prevalent the closer we got as friends and then the relationship. She's told me that it's just because she feels more safe expressing herself with me. So I wouldn't really say that it's "new". It's just happening more often. And usually when we have a day together (which doesn't necessarily mean we'll be up each other's butts, we can be in the same room and just do our own thing). It's just frustrating because she used to look forward to spending time with me. I'm just kinda starting to feel like an old toy being put on the shelf. Or something she's getting bored of or irritated with, which is especially confusing because we had had a really good week.
  2. I don't know if I'm perceived as needy or exhausting to her. I don't expect her to devote a day to me. I'm very comfortable sitting in a room with her and us doing our own things, with minimal or moderate interactions. Or coming together to watch a movie or something. She has seasonal work, so no, she hasn't been working for a month and a half now.
  3. When I work all day, and I come home, she seems excited to be around me. But every day off, without fail, when I have a full day off, she's either in a bad mood, or a too-tired-to-deal-with-life mood.
  4. I'm just going to get to the point. I'm dating an INTJ, and I'm terrified that she's cheating on me. She's told me once (and honestly, I've also heard this from other INTJs), that if she were cheating on me, I'd never know. And it is difficult to tell. All of the "signs" of cheating could just be summed up to her personality - like, not talking about how she feels, wanting a lot of alone time, not having much to say about her day. These are all things that... Are just kind of her. And the idea that if she's cheating, I'll never know, just doesn't work for me. I love her with all my heart, but cheating is a huge deal breaker. I don't want a relationship were "what I don't know won't hurt me", because to me, that's not a statement that rings true. My INTJ SO has always been oddly honest. She lies about silly things, but tells the truth when she considers it to be something that matters, but she's also a secret keeper, which is fine, I respect her privacy, unless it comes to things that could significantly impact our relationship. For personal reasons, I can't say why I think she's cheating on me. I do have real reasons, though I'd be lying if I didn't say that it's mostly a very strong gut feeling. I would confront her about it, but we've had conversations like this before, and if she is cheating, I doubt she'd just come out and say it at this point. If I confront her, I want to be confident in it. INTJs, some of you say that the other person would never know if you cheated on them. Is there a way to tell, though? Is it a case of not looking or thinking about the right stuff? Or asking the right questions? How can I tell? What are signs that an INTJ might be cheating? Please. I don't want to be afraid of this anymore.
  5. I am an INFP woman dating an INTJ woman. We started out as co-workers, and clicked nearly immediately, and after a while, we became very, very good friends. We could talk deeply about many things, and some things we could argue civily about, other times, well, it was difficult for me because it took a while to remember that arguing a point or issue wasn't fighting, and she LOVES playing devil's advocate. Anyway, everything always seemed good. We had the same sense of humor, but we both appreciated the down and quiet times, too. It wasn't perfect, of course. I take criticism very personally (an issue I'm working on). But after two years of being best friends, and my INTJ pursuing me for at least a year, we finally got together. Just in time for us to be in a long distance relationship, because life has a twisted sense of humor. Digression and background aside, my problem is that now we've been together for about four months, and things have gotten more complex than I could imagine. Friendship? The friendship was easy. Rough around the edges at times, but it was a friendship. Best friends or not, there was a mutually accepted barrier there. And understanding, but... Why does it seem like she liked me more then than she does now? When we were friends, affection just came. Now it feels like I have to ask for it. When we were friends she had expressed her worry about not feeling like she could emotionally support me the way I might want or need, but I never thought of it as a real issue because she had always been good at affection before the relationship. Now it's like the longer we're together, the more that not only the affection, but friendship is slipping. I have talked to her about this many times, and she always understands and gives me that affection, but it fades shortly after. I don't know if it may seem like an idle problem to you guys. I don't want to assume. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if this is a big issue, if I should be worried. All I know is that this is a person I care so, so much for, and I feel like I'm annoying. That I don't know how to love her correctly. I know you guys like blunt honesty. But if I don't want to annoy her because I keep bringing up the same stuff because I feel like nothing is changing. I don't know how to do romance correctly with her, because we're so different in this part of life. But I want to learn. I do see her trying to consider my emotions more. I want to meet her in the middle, I just don't know how. I want to know how to do this, without having to completely ignore my own feelings. Somethings I can take. If I have to learn to not take criticism so personally, I will do it. If I need to leave her alone for a week or until she comes to me, I'll do it. I care so deeply for her. I WANT it to work so bad, despite our obvious differences. I'm sorry if this seemed all over the place. If there are questions, I will try to articulate better.