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ENTJAria

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  • Content count

    34
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About ENTJAria

  • Rank
    New Member

Personality

  • MBTI
    ENTJ
  • Astrology Sign
    Gemini
  • Brain Dominance
    Balanced

Converted

  • Location
    Canada/Australia
  • Interests
    Reading, being in nature, swimming, ecology
  • Gender
    Female
  • Personal Text
    Nihil humani a me alienum est
  1. Hi guys. Being an ENTJ with a typical preference for bringing things to closure, I'm done with this thread - unless you have something very unusual, or extremely complimentary to say to me๐Ÿ˜‹ Or if you're xwsmithx. I saw on another thread that you are not traditionally employed~employable. Neither am I, no sole business owner is, consider doing this for a living. Or some other thing where you apply your fucking brilliant insight. Fuck you too. (Which is what "best of luck" following a passive patronizing character -not profile- analysis really means). ๐Ÿ˜™ Read the final version beforehand at least, numnutz. Partners of INTJs are always welcome to comment. I'm a sucker for nerdy love stories. Thank you. I think I sound like a pretty cool person now, in fact ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜œ Unbending the ENTJ to where we reveal our intense sex drive or passion for X... it takes a bit of work. Worth it. As we are. I like that aside from the clever quips this profile is made of 100% genuine self description, plus good advice about what NOT to say. It's like the Kirk-Spock relationship... someone who can be totally supportive for you as "captain" of your life, but also has the assertive communication skills to be a voice of reason without breaking that context of support. Which is very much what I'm looking for from the INTJ in my life, too. You sound like a great gal pal who would give supportive, kind advice. I'm looking for a take charge kinda guy. He doesn't need supportive ideas to help ask me out. He's a clever enough codger to extrapolate from the info available. His idea of a good time isn't letting me take charge. There's nothing wrong with that, but I'd simply rather see it as an erotic treat for him once a month or so. I think the info available suggests I would enjoy some searing repartee and mild groping on a first date, don't you? If that doesn't then I certainly hope our initial messages do convey that to one another quite satisfactorily๐Ÿ˜Š I actually feel the same way about the threesome being a bombshell. I took it out. One hundred percent true as always. You really get my vision. We don't think these things make us special. We think we're supposed to say them. You're probably right that I shouldn't say "oddly" but what the hell, I love that word. Always gives me a thrill. Oddly equals anomaly equals a fresh flood of info about the rules of how everything works (because exceptions prove the rule) Hot. Plus Doctor Who is odd as two left shoes and I adore him. I think I'd love a partner who could really dig the "odd."
  2. I really like this answer. It's not about mathematically modelling yourself into the statistically perfect number of "friends" (can you call them friends if you're trying to actualise them for your own gain?) This truth is observational and backwards. You can tell a lot about yourself from who your top 5 are right now. You should find a group who love what you love, and work on it out of your shared passion, together. You'll all rise together but the best part is it won't feel like work.
  3. I don't think that's a given in INTJs but I do think that it would be wise to add something to my profile like, "I'm a driven analytical thinker who's spent a lot of time and effort building up my communication skills, a healthy connection with my emotions, and the ability to be led by my heart and intuition just as much as my mind. I think I would partner best with someone who is the same." And it's true about young INTJ men; I'm not really looking for a young one. Late 30s or early 40s is probably better. I'm fully trained in what I want to do in life but I'm just starting to build my business, and I think I'd do better with someone who's at a later and more mellow, or at least "in his stride" phase of career. Two simultaneous startup careers is... Just no. Caring about emotional intelligence is really important to me but actual dominant skill in that area is definitely (by the system of binaries that is MBTI and to an extent human nature/the nature of excellence) going to compromise other intelligences I value more. I could put it best by saying that I'm (mostly) over the hump in terms of knowing when I need to be diplomatic and when it doesn't matter so much, knowing what diplomacy should resemble if I were to practice it, and have had significant experience in digging my own self out of the holes that xNTJs tend to get into. I don't mean offending people on forums, I mean like having the ability to choose any path in life, every door open, and being lost because I was completely out of touch with my inner spark, as it were. Thank you. This is hands down the most useful answer yet. I have a longer answer which follows if you're really interested, but in a nutshell your Kirk and Spock line is perfect. It totally makes sense that a guy wants to know what's in it for him. And is interested in sex. I had a previous career as a life coach and I have a weirdly strong history of partners profoundly flourishing after time with me, due to emotional support and level of investment, and loving non-compromise on my vision of them as fully capable and able to overcome all their obstacles and reach whatever dreams they have. That vision is what I think of myself and I think it's only fair to extend that to the person I'll care for the most. To be totally honest I'm looking for someone who will not take advantage of that. So let's say, someone capable of offering the same back to me. It takes maturity of vision to proudly support someone growing into their own best version of themselves and not confusing that with how you believe they could fulfill your ideal for the perfect partner. I've let serious relationships go because I saw the conflict between the person they wanted to become and the person I knew I was becoming. I thought it was humane and actually supportive. That's why the idea that someone would use me for sex is so funny. If they want to have hot sex once and not call me again I'll probably pick up on it ahead of time, but "being taken advantage of" is not about someone failing to call me back. I have so much more to offer that right person and nothing anybody does to my body can touch that. Not that I've had that response from anyone who was sexual with me. It's more often the case that I've hurt people because they badly wanted to continue things that I thought were quite clearly (due to circumstance) one offs. This is the major reason why I don't do that nowadays. I'm not a traditional person at all (no Si in the conscious functions) yet I'm aware that our society hasn't had the easiest history with women being open and enthusiastically sexual. What do you think is the best way to convey that I am both, that I have a very high sex drive, and that I don't think it makes any sense to place any limits on our sexual expression in a relationship beyond whatever it is that makes us each comfortable ...to an INTJ? Maybe to say just that? I'm willing to offend a lot of people if I'm able to reach the xNTJ person I'm looking for. I believed INTJs to be turned off by things that are too un-subtle. But maybe that's not true. Based on your response to my career summary, INTJs are turned off by things that are deliberately obfuscatory. Then again, I think there's also a degree of fascination there. I do an advanced form of trauma release, which I learned because it was the only thing that completely resolved my own severe PTSD after serving as an Army officer in Afghanistan. I admit I do struggle with this idea of the coy, "miss-ish" woman. I'm not that, but pretty logically, I also don't want to be penalized for being what I am. I'm always surprised that people confuse sexual enthusiasm for sexual indiscriminacy. I'm very sexually discerning. ...I guess this would be a true association if I didn't have the level of self control I do. And I guess that even numerically it makes sense to conflate the two, because xNTJs are not common. It would be great to have a partner that I had a raw sexual lust connection with --along with all the other good stuff-- because I don't really need any sort of emotional warm up and having someone who felt the same way would lead to a lot more sex. Science also suggests that a great pheremonal connection would lead to better babies if we decided to have any. I had my best sexual relationship with an INTJ partner years ago because of this sort of connection, and that's a big reason I'm looking for another one. Also, he was willing to initiate rather directly along certain lines I find sexy. It was actually repetitive but I didn't care at all. I completely relate to the two versions of everything. At some point it becomes efficient to think of the simpler way. But in lack of a person to share with in full, it's possible for an ENTJ to take their great power and focus and use it to suppress the fullness of what they are. It's a sad shame, and I'm not willing to do that anymore. I think having got your feedback I will simply let fly with the few true and practical things I've said in summation on this thread, usually in response to others, and rely on photos for the rest. You've been a great help to me, all of you, because that engagement with you as individuals, pleasant or confrontational as it may have been, was the very thing I needed more than any other, to craft a humane and real representation of who I am. As an extravert, creating something that isn't for and in response to real human beings just doesn't do it for me. So whether I disagreed with you or frustrated you, know that your help and participation was phenomenal and I am very grateful because you were part of a fun and interesting gestalt, and a very useful aggregate. I'm aware this isn't the kind of thing you say on internet forums, nor is it a traditional thanks, but it is from the heart. ...... added to this post 49 minutes later: My self-summary "Captain Kirk type seeks Spock type for LTR. Three dimensional chess optional." I know no one's perfect, but I'm not looking for perfect, I'm looking for 'close enough'. I'm a driven analytical thinker who's spent a lot of time and effort building up my communication skills, a healthy connection with my emotions, and the ability to be led by my heart and intuition just as much as my mind. I think I would partner best with someone who is the same. I'm not really looking for a young man. Late 30s or early 40s is probably better. I'm fully trained in what I want to do in life but I'm just starting to build my business, and I think I'd do better with someone who's at a later and more mellow, or at least "in his stride" phase of career. I'm not a traditional person at all yet I'm aware that our society hasn't had the easiest history with women being openly and enthusiastically sexual. I am both, I have a high sex drive, and I don't think it makes any sense to place any limits on our sexual expression in a relationship beyond whatever it is that makes us each comfortable. Open to the occasional threesome; if you have a safe, "D&D free," emotionally self-contained friend in mind I would love to indulge my intense physical love of beautiful women. Yet to me, our relationship is sacred; sex is just sex to me so if you'd rather not share me, we can indulge in fantasy. I had a previous career as a life coach and I have an oddly strong history of partners profoundly flourishing after time with me. I think it's due to emotional support and my level of investment, and loving non-compromise on a vision I have of the man I love as fully capable, highly desirable and powerful and able to overcome all his obstacles to reach whatever dreams he has. I'm looking for someone who offers the same back to me. I think it takes takes maturity to proudly support someone growing into their own best version of themselves, not confusing that with how you believe they could fulfill *your* ideals. I *am* an intense person; I do feel things strongly and I'm not "emotionally adventurous." I am emotionally steadfast and loyal. I *am* looking for exactly what I'm looking for: someone who matches me, who's into words as well as math, who's not afraid of me, who feels that I complement him and strengthen his position, his life, and does not feel that it's a competition. It isn't. I'm willing and desiring to let my partner lead in all ways. All I need is to respect him. And I do set a high bar for that, but it's not an impossible one; it's only as high as the one I set for myself. โ˜บ๏ธ My wormhole is waiting for your starship. Fire photon torpedoes when ready.๐Ÿ˜‰ What Iโ€™m doing with my life I do an advanced form of trauma release, which I learned because it was the only thing that completely resolved my own severe PTSD after serving as an Army officer in Afghanistan. I'm really good at Being on time. Being responsible. Making French cuisine for special occasions. Target shooting at 50 paces. Listening to you with great focus. Dancing if you like to lead. Although "the best lovers are the bad dancers." Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food Hard science fiction, symphonic metal, folk music, Sarah Slean, Weird Al, Bad Religion, The Black List, OITNB, Thai, French. The six things I could never do without Asking me what I could never do without without specifying context (in a muddy trench? at a fancy dinner? during a seduction scenario for a shy person?) is like asking me to cycle logistically through every possible life scenario that could befall me and identify the tools that keep popping up. And I believe the general dating public would be horrified if this list read: -lube -rebar and/or sheet metal revetting -a corset & ballgown -the poems of Rilke -deep eye-gazing and; -both sides of my brain, as Kipling said. (Technically, due to the corpus callosum, both sides = one brain). I spend a lot of time thinking about Yes, I like to mull things, like an inferior wine. On a typical Friday night I am Driving somewhere listening to music that makes my heart sing; going out to a quiet little dinner; talking with other Myers-Briggs nerds; [REDACTED]. You should message me if If you believe that religion is best served not at all. If (but not IFF) you're an INTJ. If you'd like to start a correspondence. And you have at least some pictures so that I can tell you're not my uncle Murray๐Ÿ˜‹ If you wish you were sine squared and I were cosine squared, so together, we could be one. All the pics: https://imgur.com/a/2MaCE
  4. I think some of you may forget I'm a human being giving you the opportunity to comment on my life, not a project to be discussed in the third person. Whatever would I do if a guy decided to "move in on me" because he thought I was "easy"? I would shake my parasol in that blackguard's face. Good point on the body shots. I have 2 up and for some reason I didn't transfer them over here. Well, really a good reason to put up that pic is because I like it. ๐Ÿ˜Š So you think very few "quality" guys are interested in someone whom they think might be a "freak in bed"? If we're going by aphorisms I thought I just needed to make sure I'm also "a lady in the streets."๐Ÿ˜ "I got a doctor girlfriend that tells me, "Come home soon!" She plays like my house is her emergency room Tells me to undress and to lay on the sofa And when she needs her medicine I give her vitamin D But wait! I got a lawyer girl that's so wild And every single night she wanna take me to trial Said she needs some evidence, and to show her the PROOF So I put her on the stand and I give her the truth! Cause I'm hung like a jury (jury) All for her man, all cause she bout it All cause she crazy in love and don't doubt it... Sounds good to me...๐Ÿค“
  5. Gee, thanks, aren't you charming. ...... added to this post 4 minutes later: So did I :) This is all true. The army is where intuitive thinkers become useful individuals instead of arrogant professors. It's all those ESTJs and ISTJs.๐Ÿ˜‰
  6. Long response: I take MBTI pretty seriously. I've written a book on it, and I've done professional coaching based on MBTI. So I'm not going to date anyone who's going to scoff at something I've been heavily interested in for 18 years. Yup, I have new pictures coming but at least blurriness is you know, blurriness and not obvious Photoshopping or something. You should be aware that the display resolution for Imgur is phenomenal compared to the dating site and in fact, the photos, with the exception of the red hair one, are probably blurry *because* I downloaded them from the dating site to put on Imgur. I also want to say this delicately if at all possible but remember that I'm more or less looking for feedback from INTJ men. Yes, I realise I didn't specify that completely clearly. I think this is particularly pertinent when it comes to things that are competitive in nature, like whether I appear too fond of myself in a profile, or aesthetic, like colour choices, when we know that men and women process visual stimuli differently. Regarding aesthetics that red hair photo has gotten me (if you count this as a positive) hit on and pretty-clearly-sexually motivated work opportunities offered me on LinkedIn. I'm not saying this is desirable to me --which is why I removed the picture from LinkedIn-- but my experience is that it seems to create sexual interest which is a good thing in dating. In fact that's why I included it even though it's blurry. Regarding my perceived view of myself, I've uniformly and overwhelmingly been told by other women that I'm too much, too arrogant, too fond of myself and too confident. This isn't the feedback I get from my male partners or friends, and also it's not true: I'm none of those things; if anything I lack self confidence sometimes. I don't think I'm better than others; I have had some unusual experiences and if that makes some other women feel threatened I can't help that. (Well, I can help that as your friend but not on a dating profile as I'm not looking to date you, ladies). The long and the short of it is that I will not step down and present a version of myself that is less sexually or socially threatening to other women. I *am* an intense person; I do feel things strongly and I'm not "emotionally adventurous." I am emotionally steadfast and loyal. I *am* looking for exactly what I'm looking for: someone who matches me, who's into words as well as math, who's not afraid of me, who feels that I complement him and strengthen his position, his life, and does not feel that it's a competition. It isn't. I'm willing and desiring to let my partner lead in all ways. All I need is to respect him. And I do set a high bar for that, but it's not an impossible one; it's only as high as the one I set for myself. โ˜บ๏ธ
  7. I'm open to that. If anyone's thinking about contacting me, please do. Don't assume that because I'm an ENTJ I want to take the initiative in the relationship: I really, really don't. (I get that assumption a lot). I'm also not a dominant in bed, shockingly. I appreciate your editing help and I've usually changed the profile at the points you bring up.
  8. Well, I do pet other people's cats on Friday nights, and not in a *wink wink nudge nudge* kind of way... but cats = spinsterism = the idea of a house smelling of cats and sadness and old musty wedding dresses... good point. Also good point on the wine. Though I did horrify a slightly self-serious ENFP sommelier date by telling him "not to worry, if I don't like [the special wine you saved for me] I'll just put some Splenda in." Asking me what I could never do without without specifying context (in a muddy trench? at a fancy dinner? during a seduction scenario for a shy person?) is like asking me to cycle logistically through every possible life scenario that could befall me and identify the tools that keep popping up. And I believe the general dating public would be horrified if this list read: "lube, rebar, a corset/ballgown, the poems of Rilke, deep eye-gazing and both sides of my brain, as Kipling said." (Technically, due to the corpus callosum, both sides = one brain). I'm curious and I'm not trolling you: what would demonstrate femininity? I'm open to the idea of children. I'm agnostic about marriage due to my belief that the commitments we make to one another are more important than a piece of paper... but there's also my abiding belief in the compelling power of vows. Religion isn't in me. It may be in you, if you like. :-) Falling in love is a "meeting of true minds" for me. I was going to write you a summary of my ideal romantic encounter in text-based RPG form, but I believe it would be considered "too sincere." But what the hell: Your comments are really appreciated because it's totally that kind of person (sensitive, thoughtful about the implications of things) that I am trying to attract. I'm more of a hard science fiction fan than someone who reads physics journals. I know, I should really include some books. Or music. There's just so many books. And such a variety of music. This is on my updates-to-make list. It's true. A lot of the things not to say are those that are already implicit. And nobody is a perfect match right away, I'd say. Unless one is extremely superficial. I'm only mostly superficial. :-) I thought that guys especially --sorry, that is a stereotype-- would mostly look at the pictures. But my responses went way up when I posted the longer (and oddly, the more serious) profile. I really dislike golf, myself ;-) "The best lovers are the bad dancers" as a favourite band of mine likes to sing. Most people are saying that it's barely human. Do you mean I have so much posted that someone would try to create a perfect avatar and take advantage of me? Here are the pictures I have up currently: http://imgur.com/Bdr2nGq Can't live without art something something. http://imgur.com/tUEJIeC La Blue Girl. http://imgur.com/iMtviZM Comfy army fleece is comfy. http://imgur.com/5sf4hSf I <3 nerds. http://imgur.com/GPrMGAJ Grumpy gus. Here's an updated version for anyone whose brain is not already fried by the length of this post.
  9. Your ENFJ partner has Se in the same place as I do and ENFJs adore passing on what they know to someone who truly cares about it; that is their bliss. What did i do to develop my Se? :thousand yard stare: ๐Ÿ˜Š Shot a machine gun full auto. Prepared to die in an overwhelming rush of enemy combatants overrunning the camp. Used observational clues and projecting a compelling aura to talk my way into a top-level job at a Bn-dollar financial company. Lived homeless in my car for a while. Dated an ESTP biotech billionaire (paper billionaire, mind you) & travelled up and down the coast of California helping him pitch to the super-wealthy as investors. Made out in an armoured vehicle during a rocket attack. Got plural tattoos and piercings (none of which are highly visible.) Left my job and traveled the world solo for a total of... 1.6 years. Perfected the art of bleaching my nearly-black hair (I don't do this anymore. But I did find the perfect chemicals to minimise damage/maximize gloss) . Indulge in professional hair cuts and tasteful (hair) highlights that fluctuated in tone with the seasons. Non-professionally dyed some of my hair blue. Learn what makeup suits me and how to look lovely with minimal. Got full-body waxing and experimented with fake blinged up nails (I discovered I like toenail polish but hate having things on my hands). Perfected the art of pleasuring men and women in bed. Preceded by, kissed my best girlfriend. Had a threesome several times. Drove a manual-transmission sports car for a year. Learned how to perfect a rolling start on my (manual) 1994 Tercel with the mystery busted alternator. One of my favourites is, going from a perfume novice, to buying a few fragrances, to knowing exactly which notes and which designers I like and what wears well on my skin. For a while I indulged in buying gold jewellery & discovered I actually like small tasteful silver/white gold/gem pieces better. Though I have a soft spot for good (not doublet/triplet) opals... although d/t's are everyday wearable. Apprenticed to an ethical ESTP. Now I practice a very hands-on, indigenous, experiential, Se-Ni if you will, mental health modality. I'm 32, by the way, and I was a classic nerd in high school. And through most of university. I'm now working on Fi development, if anything. So if you're around my age it would be normal to work on Se development. In not marrying your inferior functions, you've already avoided the biggest developmental pitfall :) Pardon my irreverence. If you're in the Vancouver area it might be fun to hang out. *Any* social gathering will develop your Se because that & Te are what you extrovert so having to extrovert will develop them. But an artistic, athletic, adventure-oriented, or sensual social gathering (like belly-dancing, say) will do you better on the development front I'd say.
  10. My bad, I'm on mobile so I couldn't see you have no idea if you're INTP or INTJ. If you're an INTJ you'd be pretty young because auxiliary Te develops as a teen. Of those things I suggested, the math, logic and physics do overlap with Ti. That's because Myers-Briggs is not a machine; it has a few overlapping parts. For instance, the logic of the law is Ti; the process of the law is Te. Bone up on what exactly the cognitive functions are, and where exactly each fits in your psyche (and what shape your damn psyche is, i.e. what type you are), before trying to develop one of them. That would be like asking for exercises to strengthen your bicep without knowing if it's in your arm or leg. Lenore Thompson has a good book on functions.
  11. You're right, OP; you must be pretty young if you're looking to develop your Te; it's your auxiliary function also called the 'Hero' function so it comes to the service of the first function throughout your life. Ways to develop it: take a project management course; study logic, physics or math; go to law school; join the army. (I'm kidding, I would not recommend joining the army).
  12. I think lots of INTJs and lots of even extroverted NTs feel that way. It's the yearning to develop your inferior functions. In Jungian terms, your soul is longing to become complete. Hence the desire for traits like ESFPs and ESFJs have. ESFPs have Extroverted Sensing and Introverted Feeling. And ESFJs are very competent material managers of their lives. If I could make a suggestion it would be to add some new friends who are NTs but with more developed Extroverted Sensing and Introverted Feeling. It would help you merge your NT-ness with Sensory/Feelery life accoutrements in a way that demonstrates they don't have to be either-or. You could pick ENTJs; we're a little more materially developed because those functions are higher up the stack for us. It makes sense that you wouldn't quite be able to follow through on acquiring these things because, as I remember when I was developing my Se, it takes awhile for one's own "taste" to develop. Taste being like a combination of what you like and what fits your life; it's the difference between saying "ooh pretty/impressive" and "I'm getting/doing this because it suits me and I love it." Hope that helps and welcome ๐Ÿ˜‰
  13. Now that I come to think of it, my previous INTJ relationship actually ended due to a combination of not sharing feelings by the INTJ and my making a decision with the knowledge I had. Ugh, sharing needs is the worst. I find it so funny that all the other types are like "ENTJs are scary/bossy" and I'm in here like, "Shit, I wish I didn't feel like I had to do this all on my own. And how do I balance all these factors blah blah blah." I'd assumed that the INTJ whom I dated in my early twenties -I'm 32 now- was an outlier in only being able to share his feelings at all while drunk. I've since met at least one INTJ who is really articulate -for an INTJ- in sharing feelings. ...... added to this post 8 minutes later: I think the funny thing too is that I come off as very caring, sensitive, empathic and sweet IRL. And smart "scary smart" I've heard. In fact it's hard IRL to find anyone who appreciates me for my mind and ideas and who's looking for something nontraditional (and to be very explicit in what I mean by that I mean a man who fully values my thoughts and ideas, who doesn't just want me to dress up, be pretty and silent or at least always subservient). This is why I turned back in my thoughts to that old INTJ relationship I had, because there's no question we connected on that level. Sometimes I get on an INTJ forum and people assume I have the full suite of "ENTJ Death Lady" traits. That's ironic. And it's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
  14. That's very helpful --thank you-- and encouraging to hear. I wonder if talking about feelings is really as important for ENTJs and INTJs as psychological theory makes it seem for everyone. I remember in my INTJ relationship we definitely communicated that we were having loving feelings for each other and felt loved, but we didn't talk *about* them as such very much.
  15. Well, my basic view is that manipulative behaviour is a sign of immaturity and unfitness for a relationship. And I don't believe that applies to all INTJs.