Welcome to INTJ Forum

This is a community where INTJs can meet others with similar personalities and discuss a wide variety of both serious and casual topics. If you aren't an INTJ, you're welcome to join anyway if you would like to learn more about this personality type or participate in our discussions. Registration is free and will allow you to post messages, see hidden subforums, customize your account and use other features only available to our members.


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  • MBTI
  • Enneagram
    2w3 9w1
  • Astrology Sign
  • Brain Dominance


  • Biography
    Enjoy helping others - making the world a better place.
  • Location
    Colorado Springs, CO
  • Occupation
    wandering free spirit
  • Interests
    Flying, volleyball, skiing, running
  • Gender
  • Personal Text
    You give as good as you get.

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. This is totally cool. I think for most of us (not just INFPs but guys with very strong 'F' in general) finding that great gal who is comfortable with the expression of emotion is like hitting the lottery. You are a 'T' however nearly all of the 'T' women I have been with (11 out of 16) never could handle guys who could not "keep it together". But, to be fair, there is a difference between being sensitive and being an all-out drama queen. Takes me an enormously long time to emotionally open up like that and, coming out of a 13-year marriage, was never able to do so. Even the slightest expression of emotion prompted the response 'wtf is wrong with you?'. So I did what most guys do. I closed up. LOL
  2. No Bees. You just described me and every other INFP out there and likely most NFs in general. How to avoid become a pawn? The emplacement and enforcement of boundaries is key. Be empathetic without being a doormat. It is not inevitable if you put some thought into your life. You have a beautiful heart, Bees, and from your previous posts it would seem you are asking this question on behalf of yourself. You got crapped on by that one guy for a long time but moving forward you can be kind and caring but also have that line in the sand drawn.
  3. No. I grew up in a family of 8 with single income so I have been used to being thrifty since day 1.
  4. Most of the chimpanzees I have been with leave the lights on so they can find my banana....
  5. >>feminine and delicate + submissive which is very endearing and hot I just fell off my chair. No, I was not laughing. WTF????? Why is girly man behavior hot? I ask this because I am very highly empathetic with a high emotional IQ which is one reason why I have a surplus of female friends. But male empathy and emotional vulnerability don't get you laid nor do they exude a winning attitude. Any woman who tells you this bullshit wants you as her cuddle buddy but is also getting plowed by some dominate alpha behind your back. I will be out there in the dating world very soon. 38 years of relationship experience has taught me that in direct contradiction to what Cosmo says, if you want to be successful in relationships, score, and have the most options, you have to be as alpha as you can otherwise you end up a doormat. That means you play to win. Which means that I will not be sharing any emotions for a while. INFP or not, I have only once cried as an adult (turned 18 in 1984) and I will not do that effeminate garbage. If someone needs me as a friend, I am there. ER visit? Sure!!! I'll even bring clothes and anything else you need. My daughters? I am their best friend and protector they will ever know. Your birthday? I will never miss it - flowers and warm card standard. So, for the OP and every other female here, are you serious? What would be your reaction if you were watching say "City of Angels" or "Shadowlands" in the living room and you look over at your date and he has tears streaming down his cheeks???? I ask this because a buddy of mine actually did this. Guess what? Didn't get laid that night and she wouldn't see him again. And I'm thinking "you did what?" Duh????? Guys, unless I am very wrong, do not buy this line that submission is endearing and hot unless that person is a dominatrix. The biggest complaint I get from my female friends who are strong feminists are most of the guys they run into are emasculated. My response is that you cannot have it both ways. You put an entire gender down by misandry and then wonder why they do not know what to do if they like you? GMAFB. I do not even think that delicateness and submission are attractive qualities in females either! So guys, if you are going to lose out on a relationship, it is far better because you lost because you acted masculine than because you acted feminine. And if you act masculine, I 100% guarantee you that your winning percentage will skyrocket. Real women want real men. Nothing less! ...... added to this post 3 minutes later: Ditto! ...... added to this post 23 minutes later: This accurately reflects my experiences as well. I have been in relationships with many INTJ women and, in private, they really do act like women! Emotional connection, truly female especially with romantic activities once those barriers come down. I also know several INTJ males (males make up 75% of INTJs anyway) and not a single one has any feminine characteristics whatsoever. Question for the OP - what exactly do you base this on? Are you sure the men you are observing are truly INTJ? I just reread your post a second time and none of it makes much sense to me.
  6. >> Good riddance to anyone who needs a slow pour. I will have to remember that one! >> My boyfriend just learned the other day that I count my knuckle cracks. And I will bet you that he is the only other human being on the planet who now knows this! I congratulate you and what you have and share with him.
  7. Yup! Good points @Holli This concept of mysteriousness is only valid in the early stages of infatuation anyway. In a quality relationship even once you are completely familiar with one another the learning never stops! My Mom told me that she still learns and discovers new things about my Dad every now and then and this is after 52 years of marriage.
  8. Concur. Later on, 4K will become a mainstream commodity as the cost drops over the next 24 months. But for gaming, the big determining factor as we all know is frame rate. Not resolution. Not even color depth. Both of those parameters are important for doing, for example, professional level photo editing. But photo editing activities require nothing in terms of frame rate. The higher resolution will absolutely improve the visual quality of gaming applications but this depends on the software engineering that is put into each individual game title. For example, the Microsoft Flight Simulator products do not have any of their imagery at the 4K resolution. So running that game will result in the same resolution you would see (best case) on a standard HD monitor. So, at least for today, not worth the extra money. An example would be spending $5,000 on a decent audio system for home but using it primarily to play MP3's ripped at 128 Kbps (lowest quality). Has the capability of producing some very high end sound but not if the original material being played on it is substandard.
  9. Never. I do not know how that can be. INFPs need someone watching their every move to make sure we do not wander off a cliff. One of the few things we share with our INTJ cousins especially those with strong 'N'. But I'm also a math guy and have excellent spatial orientation so whether it is with driving or flying I have never gotten lost. Maybe all that situational awareness training actually paid off.....
  10. It is helped me find the common cause why all 8 relationships I have shared with INTJ women have failed. That common cause is me!
  11. I think this is an unfair myth. INTJs are far more independent than most of the other MBTI types and therefore need more solitary time but that does not mean that they are alone-on-a-deserted-island isolated for life. INTJs usually bond with far fewer people than EFs (ENFP, ENFJ, ESFP, ESFJ), for example, but being INTJ does NOT mean 100% antisocial. But it will take more work for INTJs to leave their comfort zone to get out there and reach out and connect with people. But they soon discover that, most of the time, that extra work is worth it.
  12. You pursue them back with an IDGAFF-about-the-result attitude. The other point is that, given the probability that you are well under 25, most of the women who are playing these games with you are also under 25 and not worth your time because of their immature behavior. As to when to pursue them back, if there is someone you like you pursue. If she is nothing more than attention-seeking nympho then drop her. If she comes back for more attention, then tell her off. You mentioned "the exception of two" so that means you did find a couple of women who were mature and genuine. Great! You will find a few more if you keep getting out there.
  13. Yup! Every single one of my relationships happened because I was out there actively pursuing. Now, not everyone that I pursued reciprocated but some of the people I had dated I did not expect to find where I found them. I just happened to be there out in public when they showed up which would not have happened if I were holed up in my apartment. To stop looking is better phrased "stop desperately looking". But you need to be active, relaxed, and confident. Bottom line, I know not one married guy who has ever told me that he met his wife while she were attempting to burglarize his residence.
  14. Two weeks? Please call us back in 6 months and let us know how you are doing. Seriously, I would love for this to be real but, for many of us, you cannot really know someone is 'right' (or know someone at all, for that matter) is just two weeks. Good luck!
  15. Well if you were married to him is this the life you want? It isn't work, probably. When a guy is really into you, he will do whatever it takes to make that obvious. Not only so that you know but also so that any competitors have to get past him to steal you away. So play the field and see other men. Keep your options open. Whatever the hell you do, do NOT sleep with him! A quality guy will NOT LEAVE YOU HANGING! He will put you first in his life which in a long term relationship is what you will want.