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About Borntothink


  • MBTI
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    Analyzing, walking, road biking, thinking, and making sense of things
  • Gender
  • Personal Text
    Dancing/music has become my new way to quiet my mind long enough to take in my surroundings with awareness & digest learned lessons of life which in good time bring me enlightenment

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  1. @MissJ That's really neat how you made this connection . Can't wait to hear what you will discover next . I personally cannot claim to be a good list maker . I just have a constant ping pong match of thoughts in my head & eventually I compartmentalize my thoughts like I have little bins in my head & store accordingly. Once achieved I pull a bin down occasionally and resort a bit . But I feel when we have experienced any kind of trauma and so many major changes all my bins got dumped out & I needed to start from scratch & revaluate everything that I thought was true!!! I now have a new & more valid reference point to my life !!! I will always do some revaluating but I do not have to start from scratch ...any longer
  2. Thank you @MissJ I do believe we help each other on this forum . To be more fully understood & be able to be your very own personality without feeling the need to turn it down for others is so rewarding . Sharing is such a blessing . You are doing terrific yourself & in time we will reach our goal for certain . My new goal is to no longer allow narcissistic personalities (always giving them the benefit of the doubt ) in my life but I seem to still attract them but am hoping with my new set boundaries they will not be interested :) or I just walk right past them !!!
  3. @Tactical Panda Not sure if I completely understand what you mean by being a fool .... Living with a NPD slowly takes a toll & drug addicts have a similar effect . There is no rule book for how to deal with people who will always overstep their boundaries but end up blaming you & successfully convince others it is after all your fault & you must be crazy . It's a very slow progress. Somehow along the way you really just want someone to truly care so your daily routines since often they have some sort of OCD don't seem to be a big deal ... but how it is executed becomes the forefront of one's focus .... so slowly by focusing on the end effect you slowly start letting someone else write your pages because you merely trying to survive ..... the only remedy is to leave which I finally did 2 years ago ..... but now I had to learn to set boundaries to not let "manipulators" or narcissistic personalities back in my life ... I seem to attract them .... There's a book out there called The Wolf in Sheep's clothing which explained it well how this can happen with analytical minds !!!
  4. Just wondering what your experience has been with those personalities? Are they able to see the big picture thinking . I was recently told by an ISTP or ISFP that my thinking gives him a headache and that I scare him
  5. I see it as a giant puzzle of independent entities (with flaws still to be discovered or realizations to be added to ) but they still work together on different levels in my mind . Complex models within layers of more complexity. Like the famous onion , each layer still makes up the onion but each layer could contain different concepts that still intertwine somehow ! If pealed apart you have each layer . To me the fundamental question is how does it work together ? I go not so much on theories already established but on what I have observed & lived & pondered !!! @LongitudeThrust
  6. Let's leave the God part out of the serenity prayer ... since I don't subscribe to religion as taught by the church myself or as a whole but wanted to only demonstrate the basic questions we might need to ask ourselves when living "life"... what to address & what to let go & to know the difference So what is your tapestry again not quite sure what you meant by that ? I never stated that I believe in karma only but that it is a far more complex picture as a whole & it is only a fragment of it all broken down to one piece of it . There is the trigger effect & let's not forget that giant scale of equilibrium... lol @LongitudeThrust
  7. I am so glad to hear that you have this incredible courage to feel it ALL. It takes determination & true courage to do this & so many run their entire life from it . I had a few incidents in my life where I felt my heart literally shatter & it hurt so intensely that I thought I couldn't take it but once through it , my heart was still intact but stronger . Keep going & I am cheering you on !!! @MissJ I have another webpage that might help ... I will try to find it . Here it is http://www.pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm
  8. I did not have hallucinations but experienced paralysis where I knew I needed to wake up but was unable to move while all my limbs felt incredibly heavy . I felt like I woke out of my deepest sleep mode & that's why I couldn't move . Something else comes to mind , I have known many people who have the dream that they are falling but wake up before they hit the bottom/ground . Was always wondering what the meaning of that dream was since I never experienced that one !
  9. I feel that I finally achieved "detachment" & setting healthy boundaries after struggling to do so for my entire life !!! Having come from a life of dysfunction , living with drug addicts & a NPD for the past 20-30years (actually my whole life ) I thought if I shut my heart off, I would lose part of myself . By the time I left the NPD I experienced complete numbness in my heart without feeling ill will & still be able to wish him well since it would be beneficial to our children etc ... Now in my private life I still struggled ...by letting people in "ALL" the way once they "appeared" to be trustworthy.... This week I finally achieved the feeling of detachment in all areas of my life especially the romantic part. I can now exist as my very own entity (always thought I was doing just that but ...)and not feel guilty that I don't let people completely inside my heart & have my whole self vested in a relationship . I used to think detachment was a selfish act but strangely enough it makes me feel whole . I can care without all my emotions in the mix of it from a detached point of view . Almost like our vision gets fuzzy if we step too close but if we take a step back we can see clearly now ! Has anyone else experienced this change ? It's not about having had enough but I am first & I am ok without a love interest in my life !!! And I have now boundaries so I can see things for what they truly are !!! It's like I used to be an open book with blank pages & allowed someone else to write my story for me when I emotionally let them close (I would not let anyone tell me how to think though but how we lived I really didn't care about ) . Detachment will make me the author again & it is my story to write & there are very few blank pages left ..... and I will be the one NOW to write the rest of my story all on my own !!!
  10. Yes, bad things happen to good people . But what about that maybe not all has an explanation, maybe it's purely random occurrences or just simply a malfunction of a body or our human machinery . Maybe it's purely a result of events that was caused by others & caused a ripple effect or chain reaction ? Now we can ask about why crimes & violent acts happen to good people ? Maybe evil does seek out good at all times and will try to eliminate as much as good as it can if the good does not pull together. So it's like a giant scale & maintaining the equilibrium is a constant challenge because one occurrence or act can affect the other . May that's why life is so hard & uncertain !!! It boils down to maybe there is a written outline in our life that gets constantly rewritten sometimes by us & sometimes due to the actions or the lack of actions by others . It's a very overwhelming thought at times & leads us to believe how powerless we might actually be and are not in any kind of control because life consists of so many players . That's why the serenity prayer is a very good tool but how do we know what to let go & what to attempt to change ? I think it goes back to our 6th sense or intuition that if we are right with ourselves we will know what to do next & that in turn we might call being the maker of our own destiny & we might even cause a ripple effect of good that leads to a chain reaction of good events There might be something to be said of the statements such as lead by example or live to inspire . I do believe we can make a difference; however , small it might be !!! ....and we might never know what difference we made ..... .....@LongitudeThrust One more thought came to mind what even if we are "good" people our self-destructive thoughts or struggle to be happy could lead to our body breaking down or getting sick ? I do believe we can cause many diseases when we cannot achieve an equilibrium of any sorts & feeling happy or at least content . My mother suffered from severe depressions & migraines. She was a good person who I saw slowly disappearing by becoming bitter & becoming completely self-absorbed ... (she also became addicted to pain killers ) because she couldn't accept life on life's term & was stuck on the why me or it should be like that . I don't believe in fairytales but I believe our thinking can make all the difference in regard to our health & our surroundings & our so called "destiny" !!!
  11. You phrased that very interestingly . What do you mean by not having the means to do evil ? I have always considered that evil doesn't need materialistic power but it will cause bigger havoc or will it ? A serial killer has not necessarily the means but will find a way .... and causes unbelievable & horrific damage to so many beyond just the victims ... I do believe evil might not emerge if they are allowed or seemingly live within their comfort zone but once it gets threatened, their true tendencies will emerge @RBM
  12. But what comes to mind that the suffering / punishment or end consequences can be internally as well , not to be seen to the naked eye . I really have not met "evil" people in my lifetime who I would consider "happy" but only driven to destroy & that must be a very poor existence in itself . @LongitudeThrust I saw unhappy people that their facial expressions have been marked with hatred, disgust , self-loath & have aged accordingly so . I have to admit the "eyes" have always fooled me . As a child I thought I would be able to see if someone is sincere and/or honest but oh have I been fooled . I recently learned that I see that same twinkle in the eye of men who are simply only physical attracted (at least that what it turns out to be ) to me , or people who turn out to have ill intent & people who are just happy . So I have to give up on the idea that eyes are the window to someone's soul .... to me evil & good have the same "twinkle" but the wrinkles formed on someone's face & how someone ages are a dead giveaway in time !!!
  13. What rips idealism to shreds is fear within people . If someone can play on people's fear than they can evoke evil if that person has the tendency for it in the first place . I did my study on the 4Fs (Fight, Flight, Freeze , and Fawn) and how people go into primal fear of operation if past trauma is triggered . A master manipulator knows how to push those buttons in masses or individuals like you said look at history . Envy , jealously , & gluttony to me are one of the worst culprits to bring evil out in people . I lived with a NPD & was ostracized by most ... I know evil exists but I still believe it's a choice . Maybe some are more "prewired" to be capable to do evil but nonetheless it's a choice . Without or with less fear there would be less evil in my opinion @RBM How do you weigh out your options ? ...... added to this post 23 minutes later: I agree with that for sure @Doggzilla A person who inflicts pain will eventually cause self-inflicted scenarios & catastrophic circumstances to him/herself . I learned if I step out of the way , it will unfold in its own good time since evil needs attention and if deprived from being the center of attention it will eventually harm itself !!!
  14. I see that sounds like a spoiler to what makes us feel good after all it's a feeling achieved without drugs or alcohol so in my opinion it is beneficial even if it is looked upon as delusional. After all happiness & my suspended state of mind is mine to own . @rickster It's also an independent feeling of materialistic means ... so I will embrace it with all my might because just "being" is a privilege !!!
  15. So very true indeed Thx @Tactical Panda