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About Holli

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    Core Member


  • MBTI
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    Benevolent Inventor
  • Brain Dominance


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    Travel, adventure, psychology, sociology, science-fiction, craft beer
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  1. I actually have no idea if they'd be offended by something I'd say, since I was never actually in that situation. I tend to adjust myself based on who I'm around (chameleon) and I'm more reactive. They're just the kind of people who make you want to be on your best behavior because they're so kind/pure. I don't feel guilty that I'm not that nice, but it was like having to maintain "professional" behavior while not at work, so just wasn't comfortable/relaxed. That's not to say they wouldn't have accepted me if I were completely loose with everything I decided to say, but I wouldn't have been as comfortable saying it if there wasn't a reciprocal sort of behavior/response. Like if you're around someone who doesn't like to be touched, even though you're kind of a touchy-feely person, then you kind of have that awareness of "Hold back, hold back".
  2. WHAT! Yorkshire pudding is amazing. Mmm, prime rib, yorkshire pudding, and brown gravy? I want to die drowning in Yorkshire pudding and gravy. It's delicious.
  3. I do think that's the problem with a lot of these guys ... they seem to think that "being nice" is all that's necessary to be attractive to someone. Like I posted before, I know plenty of truly nice guys who have no issues getting girlfriends. I also know some truly nice guys who can't get a girlfriend to save their life. Most of them are cowardly. There's also no growth within them, no introspection. They don't value themselves. The biggest issue with most of them (in my experience, with male friends who have barely dated), though, is that there's no "connection". They don't own themselves or show vulnerability (in being honest about who they are). There's a difficulty in getting to know them, because they're afraid of expressing who they are, and so there's a disconnect, a shallowness to the relationship, and they're just ... boring. Not to say that's all there is ... but if that's all they're showing, how do they expect to connect to someone? If "nice guy" is all there is to their personality, where's the draw? One of the biggest "assholes" I know is also someone who I've connected with in a way that's more meaningful than most people in my life. He doesn't give a shit what people think and says whatever he wants ... but I've also learned a lot about him, his childhood, etc... There's a sense of "knowing" him, of having a mutual connection. I'd never date him, because he really is an asshole, but I'd be lying if I said there was never a draw, a desire, or no feeling there. It was the same with my current boyfriend ... we really, really connected because he's not someone who hides any part of who he is, good or bad. He didn't try to impress me, didn't do things in order to win points, wasn't afraid to say whatever he wanted to say, didn't need to project the best version of himself. He was authentic and ready to show me exactly who he is. And the connection between us was nearly instant. ...... added to this post 51 minutes later: Sorry, didn't see this until now. It depends on the person. There are multiple things that can be a turn-off that has nothing to do with whether they're nice or not. 1) Desperation. A girlfriend/wife being their only source of happiness/contentment. Not only does it cause a woman to think, "Could I be anyone or is it ME he wants?", but it also generates a lot more drama if the relationship doesn't work out because they wrap up their happiness in you. I think most women want to be special to be someone, to be chosen, not just be someone where a guy "takes what he can get". So if all a guy talks about is how much he wants a girlfriend and blah blah ... then he's going to be seen as unattractive. 2) Cowardliness. As I mentioned in my last post, being too afraid of rejection to be themselves. 3) Underlying red flags. Unhealthy attitudes/beliefs that go unrecognized by the person exhibiting them as being a problem. 4) Emotional immaturity, lack of personal growth, victim mentality, helplessness. 5) Inability to view others (mostly women) realistically - putting women on pedestals, idealizing, etc... I could give guys I meet very specific reasons why I'm not interested in them. Being a "nice guy" isn't one of those, UNLESS ... he's a really, really, really nice guy who never says a bad thing about anyone, only sees the good in others, etc... At that point, though, it's only because I'm not that nice (and don't really want to be). If I have to worry about being offensive to someone I'm with, or offending them because of what I say about someone else, then we are not a match. But I've only met a few of those types of people and they're happily married to other nice people.
  4. I stopped hearing around 15K at a decent volume, so no, can't hear 16K.
  5. He's already broken up with her.
  6. I want the spiciest, most flavorful food. I love it all. Unless you're using obscenely hot peppers, I'm good with it (I use habanero most of the time). But even just various spices used in food from other ethnicities, there's nothing I don't like.
  7. I never knew that was a thing. I don't like bland food.
  8. I can hear it when I turn my volume up really high.
  9. Guys who say women don't like them because they're "nice guys" have no idea what is actually unattractive about them. A couple of my friends say this and it's definitely not the reason. I know much kinder, more generous, thoughtful guys who are VERY attractive (based on their personality) and they're in relationships or married. Those are the ones who I'd say are the more genuinely nice guys. I've never seen a guy like that single - they are snatched the hell up. The ones who think that their being nice is the reason they're not attractive? They're either not that nice (fake nice, with expectations, like their effort should get them a chance) or they're blind to the reality of what makes them unattractive, which has nothing to do with the fact that they're nice/caring.
  10. I've always had a hard time living with others ... I was known for disappearing to my room and not really interacting with my family much when I was younger. When I moved out, I lived with a roommate ... same thing, she wanted to hang out more than I did, and I hated it. Finally living on my own was fantastic. As for the rest of the people in my life, I don't really have any close friends. I make sure that no one relies on me to maintain frequent contact, because I don't. My family is another matter ... and there's currently some drama because I don't keep in touch with or see them enough. I just don't miss people in the way that others experience. I could not speak to my parents for years and it wouldn't feel any different. I also really thought that living with a significant other would be worse than it actually is. I've lived with two boyfriends, for a couple years each (one still ongoing), and it's actually a lot more comfortable than I would have imagined. I thought I would never get any alone time, that I'd feel as if I was constantly having to be social, but it just hasn't been like that.
  11. Ah, yeah, 12%. I just bought four 4-packs of a super delicious Triple IPA that's 10.5%, so lower than some! Most of the higher ABV ones I've had were some sort of barrel-aged something or other ... my boyfriend got a stout yesterday that was aged in rye whiskey barrels and came to 15%. We got home and he's like "I'm going to bed". (it was like 9pm, we normally go to bed at midnight) My state recently (a year ago) did away with the 12% ABV limit they had previously, though I still don't see many higher than that. At least not around here. I drink a lot of local stuff, since I have about ~34 breweries near me ... and another 100+ in the state. Quads are iffy for me because there's a particular flavor I don't like in a lot of Belgian beers (possibly isoamyl acetate, still trying to determine that). I had one the other day that I did not care for.
  12. What kind of life/work subjects do you mean? Best school subjects: Math (especially algebra), AutoCAD, English Other classes I enjoyed: Psychology, Stagecraft, Technology/Shop, Home Economics, Sewing I wasn't "bad" at any subject ... except P.E., because I didn't participate most of the time. Enneagram ... I either get 9, 5, 8, or 1.
  13. I wish I was seeing more Larvitar. I have him as my buddy right now, but I was hoping to see more around town. It has been a couple days since I've seen one.