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About Paloma

  • Rank


  • MBTI
  • Enneagram
  • Global 5/SLOAN
    SCUEI- Calm


  • Biography
    Where is the thrill of joy without the memory of sadness?
  • Location
  • Occupation
    Higher Education
  • Interests
    Music, martial arts, brewing, wasting time.
  • Gender

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  1. I don't believe it is rape. In this circumstance, you've already consented to sex. Is it potentially dangerous or immoral? Sure, but not really any different from a girl lying about being on the pill. To my knowledge, we don't persecute women in that context. As others have noted, making it into a legal matter is probably a waste of time and resources.
  2. I imagine the two as somewhat analogous to knowledge and wisdom.
  3. I had a similar experience last semester. I moved away from my SO and a very tight-knit group of friends in a medium sized city to a smaller town, nearly a thousand miles away where I knew no one. I was overwhelmed by work, felt isolated, and like I couldn't trust any of the people I was meeting. As a result, I spent nearly 3 months in social isolation. I felt totally unable to remember material from my courses, was I unable to analyze anything critically, and even basic information seemed difficult to grasp. A few weeks back with friends over break and with my SO now living in the same town as me, I'm feeling more energized and cognitively competent. Depression and stress can definitely hamper one's cognitive abilities. I suspect long-term, clinical depression may be even more damaging the sort of situational depression I outlined above. If he is not already seeing someone to address these potential problems, you should encourage him to do so.
  4. I don't know if anyone would call me a late bloomer. My mother has often characterized me as being in a race to get to end of life (for a multitude of reasons). Developmentally, I hit my milestones early. Took my first steps around 6 months and was talking around a year. Lost my first tooth around 4. Puberty/period started at 9. I was the size I am now when I was 12 or so. Had my first "boyfriend" and kiss at 13. Lost my virginity shortly after turning 16. Got engaged (it didn't work out) and moved out of my parents' house at 17 to start college. I'm currently the youngest person in my PhD program. Mentally/socially, I was routinely told that I was mature for my age. At 21, people that I worked with thought I was 26. This growth, however, appears to have grown stagnant or slowed to a crawl since around my 23rd birthday. I don't feel like I've developed much as a person in the last two years, to my frustration. As far as work life goes, this is the area in which I am behind my peers. Most of them had jobs at 16 or 17, but I didn't get my first real job until I was 18 (the summer after my freshman year of college). With all of that said, I know I've still got a hell of a lot more growing to do. Looking forward to seeing how I turn out.
  5. This is my understanding/experience of love as well. Well stated.
  6. I don't see why not. Your MBTI doesn't relate to your intelligence or capacity to learn any subject. I'm not well-read in MBTI theory, but I have some anecdotal evidence:
  7. My experience with research-focused graduate programs is that we don't really have in-class exams unless they are grad/undergrad split courses. Even then, graduate students may not even take the undergrad midterm and final but do something else entirely. Most grad-only courses are reading heavy and discussion-based with an expectation that you perform a research project related to the subject matter outside of class. This project is then evaluated by the instructor and your peers at the end of the course. You typically don't take courses that are unrelated to your overall research project (master's thesis/PhD dissertation), and as such, each course helps you add a section or block of your overall project to what you're already accumulating outside of your coursework. To me, this is one of the best ways to measure your ability since you're actually performing research and having it evaluated for publication value by others who work in the field. You've essentially stopped a few steps short of the true, anonymous peer-review process with regard to your grade (Although, grades don't matter that much at this point anyway. They're more of a formality used to ensure they aren't giving you funding to fuck around). Since you feel that the exams in law school do not measure your ability, how would you change them? How do you think law schools ought to evaluate their students?
  8. It really depends. Multiple choice exams rarely are written in such a way that you must prove your ability to apply the material. Written exams might get closer if they require you to synthesize material to answer, but those can still fall short. On the other hand, if your exams are practical-- I.e they force you to use class material to answer a real world problem or use the skills acquired in a tangible way-- then I would hazard to say they are a decent measure of your ability. If they simply require you to memorize and regurgitate info, probably not. Edit-- As a caveat, I will say that when beginning to learn a subject, some amount of memorization is important. You'll be unable to properly apply the concept if you can't properly recall the subject matter. In introductory courses, it is often important to test whether or not students have actually acquired a basic understanding of the terms and concepts before they move on to more complex material.
  9. At least half a year.
  10. How I deal with conflict has more to do with my relationship with that person than their gender. I resolve conflicts with my supervisor differently than one of my peers. As a rule, I try to address conflict through calm discussion of the problem and possible solutions to resolve it. If we come to an impasse, I will state that it is probably best to break ties or avoid one another and give them a chance to say their peace before moving on. Screaming, shouting, and passive-aggressiveness are all signs of poor mental control, and signal to me that the person is not yet able or willing to find solutions to the conflict. The same applies to myself. In circumstances of physical altercations with men (the women in my life have never physically attacked me), it depends on the act. Punches to the face have been met with full on attacks, but grabbing/shaking has been responded to with a calm warning. My ex grabbed me and slammed me against the wall once when he was very angry (mostly because I refused to escalate the scene by shouting). I responded with, "If you do that again, one of us is going to jail and one of us is going to the hospital. Want to find out which?" He calmed down after that and was ready to talk after a bit. Very thankful that I had the sense to finally get out of that situation. Finally, conflicts online with people I do not know typically lead to me leaving the discussion or trolling them if I think the discussion is truly fruitless.
  11. I'll suggest it see what he thinks. Thanks!
  12. Inactivity, overeating, and drinking for three weeks straight has only set me back three pounds! That is my Christmas miracle. Back to my three miles a day and regular eating routine tomorrow. We'll see if that'll be enough to bring me back down in a month or so. I have noticed a significant decrease in my leg strength after having sat on my ass over the holiday's though. In other news, I'm trying to help my SO come up with a workout plan that he will stick to. He doesn't have an athletic background and is trying to learn how to workout while having multiple sclerosis. Lots of sources point out the importance of frequent, moderate mental and physical exercise in offsetting the progression of MS, so finding balance in the intensity is important. He's on excellent medication that keeps him functioning mostly normally, but overdoing it might trigger a flare up. His doc has been very vague about what "moderate" means because everyone responds to the disease, medication, and exercise differently. He's a skinny "ectomorph" that chronically under-eats, so weight loss isn't a concern, just strength training and general athletic ability to help maintain those neural connections. He's also not a guy who enjoys the gym environment or playing traditional sports. He also seems uninterested in martial arts (my go-to athletic activity) or things like rock climbing. Did anyone else struggle with finding a way to enjoy working out while knowing that it was extremely important for your health? Any tips/ideas on getting him into a routine or finding another activity?
  13. Spinach and pesto mac and cheese with rosemary roasted red potatoes. Maybe some steamed broccoli.
  14. This sounds great. While I would love to participate, I fear my work load during the semester might preclude me from being able to keep up with the readings. I might have to pop in and out of discussion or disappear entirely for periods of time. I'll be traveling the next couple days, but when I get back home I can compile a list of suggested books and papers in general (cultural) anthropology and biological anthropology (race, human evolution and devopment, health).
  15. It's ultimately a subjective term, but it seems to be based partially on how others would perceive one's mate. A high-quality woman is one that the vast majority of the people around you will also find desirable. For example, when you bring her home to meet your parents your dad pats you on the back while saying, "great job" and your mom talks about how she's such a lovely girl. Your best friend says they've got no idea how to snagged a babe like that, and your grumpy granddad tells you she's got a good head on her shoulders...etc. To me, the idea behind finding a "high-quality" mate is partially about elevating or solidifying your own social status via your partner. What sort of person that is probably depends a lot on your current standing.