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gogogirl

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About gogogirl

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  • MBTI
    INTJ
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    you're kiding

Converted

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    http://intjforum.com/showthread.php?t=132996
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    You wouldn't believe it if I told you anyway.
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    East Coast
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  • Personal Text
    Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.

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  1. FIAPOI Please don't mistake my quoting you, Amore, as an invitation to argue. You - clearly - are not amenable to that avenue of intellectual exploration. Rather consider this an offering for further understanding among those not afflicted with your disorder. I believe the descriptions of DNA anomalies were meant to disabuse you of the notion that 'sex and/or gender are irrevocably linked to XY and XX'. (Evidence suggests they are not.) Rather, it seems, you appear to have taken it to mean that 'transsexual' can't exist because it is not a mutation in DNA - like hermaphrodism. Nobody I know has suggested that it (transsexual-ism) is - and there is, to my knowledge, no evidence suggesting such linkage. The statement that 'transsexual' can't exist because - unlike with hermaphroditism - there is no underlying (rare) DNA discrepancy also falls short of the mark, in that it is neither rare (DSD - Disorders of Sexual Development - and 'hermaphrodites' are more properly called, now - is less rare than transsexual-ism), nor is it XX/XY linked: (link) agreed no parents - ever in the history of ever - have attempted - out of the blue - to convince their son to be a girl. Never. (Short of extremely crazy people.) There is - in the case of transsexual children - a period of insistent, consistent, and (very) persistent claims that (eventually) convinces (very) reluctant parents to come to the understanding that they are not dealing with a 'boy' - at all. The parents are - more often than not - about as inclined to accept that claim as you would be. Difference is - they are eventually persuaded by reality that they were wrong. Many (many, many, many, many) parents of transsexual children - with the help of delusional people - have TRIED to convince transsexual girls/women that they are boys/men - and, it has never, ever worked. It is a treatment modality proven to be punitive, coercive, and futile. Advocating it should (IMHO) be considered a hate crime.
  2. I've seen a number of transsexuals and families who have - after much thought and consultation and tears and discord - finally seen the light and issues as they really are and begun transition. Many, when asked "What surprised you most about this process", have replied "it's not getting papers changed, not dealing with extended family members who can't process the concept, not the trauma of getting the school to deal properly with it" - but - with a very surprised look, report "Oh, no - the most surprising and unexpected part of it is the number of people coming out of the woodwork who don't know us from Adam seeking us out to make sure we understand the depth of their hatred for us". Like on this board. People who know zip about the issues - and who will not at all be inclined to remedy that abysmal ignorance - and who have no direct interest in the issue overall, who know nothing about the families, feel obliged/entitled to step right up and loudly announce their 'opinions' in such a way that will affect the very lives of people they do not know - but hate really deeply. That - to me - is the hardest facet of the transsexual issue to comprehend.
  3. Amore, you are truly amazing.
  4. I don't know what it's about - hope to learn. I'm hoping this framework might serve as a scaffold - or as tools for my learning: Transsexuals (not this discussion, I know) are IMHO people whose sex disagrees with their gender identity.
  5. With the new administration bringing in raging homophobes and transphobes, it is likely that some of the hateful policies people have advocated in this thread will be implemented. There will be a lot of suffering. There will be adolescents on the streets doing sex work because they can't get employment. There will be dead kids. Dead kids, as a result of people who know nothing about the science dictating medical decisions that are rightfully only the child's, the parents', and the doctors' business. I don't understand hatred that hard for somebody you don't know and who never did anything to you.
  6. I had said to which you replied I believe a child should be able to tell you reliably whether Don't you? Never heard of 'temporary GD'. Maybe we shouldn't structure our treatment plans around imaginary issues? The source for your notion that 'GD in children usually resolves as non-transgender' is likely who was in the business of 'straightening out' confused little effeminate boys - because that's what Mommy and Daddy wanted, so - why ask the kid? (same reason explains over-diagnosis of ADHD, so - you've got the right 'agitated' mindset about this, you've just got it backwards.) And - no - your 80% figure is from another (similar) misleading study. Here's a description of it that I wish you'd watch: Eighty Percent? (TL;DR - they counted all kids who were no longer going to the clinic as 'not transgender anymore'.) About Zucker, the DSM-V, the trans universe, and everything ...Here's somebody else's summary of the debacle (that Zucker was appointed head of the group charged with re-writing the part about 'GID' for the DSM-V). It is from Lynn Conway - a leader in the effort to get Zucker, Blanchard et.al. recognized as the anti-trans hate-mongers they are. How could he have been given this task, when his (Zucker's) obvious penchant is to describe it as (these are Zucker's feelings, summarized by his buddy Blanchard): 'Stamping out' transsexuality is - according to more reasonable, more realistic, less hate-filled, misogynistic, psuedo-scientific people - is not something that is possible. (Interesting anecdote from the book - Dr. Ramsey was told his first transsexual patient was in the waiting room, and he found two women there - and introduced himself to the wrong one.) Additionally, according to wikipedia: so we don't have to worry about him anymore, so we don't have them actively trying to kill us anymore, but - now all we have to do is combat the legacy of their anti-trans hatred, left all over the media for impressionable people to read - and believe. So - believe what you want to believe. Don't actually check your sources. Be a part of the trans-bashing majority. Not like we could use - in this scary political time, 'a little understanding', at least a little spot, now and then, of 'people not trying to kill us and wreck our lives'. So - thanks, all you folks who have very superficial knowledge of transsexual-ism, for chiming in with your concurrence with the haters who think that transsexual people ought to just die because you have it all figured out. /bitter rant Apology. Summary: it is very easy for people with a degree and a title and an agenda to get good press coverage to promulgate their ill-informed, bias-riddled 'facts', but people who know trans people - who's going to listen to them? You probably don't know as much as you think you know about transsexuals (just as I don't know much about non-Hodgkins Lymphoma), and a lot of what you do 'know' is seriously flawed. I just wish you'd be about as likely to chime in about "the right way to handle transsexuals" as I am to suggest treatment modalities for non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Here's a good place to ask a question - how many of you cis fellows fervently (and insistently, consistently and persistently) wished to be girls when you were little - and got over it? Girls? Anybody? Surely there's a lot of them around?
  7. Maybe "ask them"? Also - the terms "consistent, persistent and insistent" clashes (diametrically) with 'sudden onset'. GD is not 'sudden onset'. To the family, it - likely very often - is a surprise. The child has probably been deeply contemplating it for a long time. Some of the physical evidence of brain differences are not discernible in living people. Some of the revealing studies have been on dissected brains of dead people. If you know of an effective treatment, insisting on not proceeding until every nuance of a very complex phenomenon is understood and explained - to everyone's satisfaction - is cold cruelty. So - there is not (presently?) a blood test or X-ray tell that would make diagnosis quick and easy. In a way, diagnosis proceeds (as Doob mentioned) by eliminating as possible causes some other explanations (schizophrenia, rampant OCD, ...). In large part, treatment (often referred to as 'gatekeeping' by transsexual people) consists of "making sure you're not (otherwise?) 'crazy'". (In other words, 80% of the process for my transition is not for my benefit - it is to protect 'crazy cis people' from doing something they would regret.) (Bad implications for people who happen to be OCD and transsexual. In those cases, treatment for transsexual-ism is most often postponed until the other condition is controlled and understood.) Transsexual people have in the past often been not diagnosed until - as you say - "they cannot remain silent any longer and live". Unfortunately - this "waiting until they are just on the brink of killing themselves" manner of treatment contributes to the well-known statistic that reveals that sometimes - if you wait until you're just about to go under for the third time before you receive help - you drown. That is why "recognizing transsexual kids when they are young" is such a hopeful sign - to those of us who know what that means. It isn't just that you "don't have to suffer for a long time" - it's that "going through the wrong puberty is hell for transsexual people" - hell, I tell you. And it isn't just that you "don't have to suffer for as long" - it is that undergoing the wrong puberty makes the transition process so much harder than it could be - it you just recognize it before puberty. Often - before you reach the point of suicide - you live a life of torture and misery - that could have been made unnecessary by early diagnosis. It is, in my humble opinion, extremely unlikely that a cis boy who happens to be infatuated with sparkly princess dresses will - after facing the reality of living as a girl - 'hold on' to his confusion (the conflation of 'liking girl things' with 'being transsexual'). Certainly, his professional medical 'handlers' will (should) know the difference.
  8. Be aware, please, that "gendercritical" (a source you listed for your recent concerns) is often code for 'TERF", and that the TERF agenda is to advocate for "The elimination of transsexualism". Their aims often parallel with other people who badly misapprehend the concepts - the ultra-right conservative fundamentalists. Their aim is clearly to have transsexual people die. (Link) I ask you please to not be party to their hatred. Please do not advocate for the cessation of treatment modalities (which - very clearly - work for transsexual people), nor for 'reparitive therapy' - which very clearly does not work (and has, in fact, been declared 'torture' by several states). People's lives depend on this, and - if you do not understand it - please refrain from advocating your particular take on effective treatment (or making treatment modalities unavailable). Now - anybody want to hear my theory about why I think non-Hodgkin Lymphoma is an imaginary problem and how doctors are doing it all wrong (disclaimer - I don't actually know anything about Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma, but I figure all of us who don't understand it ought to just pile in on social media and insist our views be taken into account in deciding their treatment). Anyone? By the way - here's a link to a video from a person frustrated by barriers to transition - barriers raised by ignorant people (who happened to be his 'gender counselor'). He would have been 25 next year.
  9. http://hrc-assets.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com//files/documents/SupportingCaringforTransChildren.pdf
  10. What the other's said above, @Jalex. "These 'debunk' theories" - sounds suspiciously dismissive. Perhaps I am understanding you wrong, but there is a difference between scientific observation and theory. If you are expressing scientific scepticism - good - that is laudable. If you have confused "all knowledge is subject to dismissal - and I can therefor equally validly choose the ones that support my original opinion" with scientific scepticism - I appeal to the obvious intellect you posses to goad you to further consideration. There are many 'longtimers in the field' (e.g. McHugh) who have proposed psuedo-scientific 'opinions' which others recognize to be unsupported - perhaps unexamined - bias. To give you another glimpse in - I think most folk studying it regard that 'gender identity' is intrinsic - not 'built' from outside influences Specific to help your learning in this regard - David Reimer, John Money, and his (catastrophically proven incorrect) 'theory' that a child is a blank canvas' upon which society imprints 'gender identity'. Unfortunately - between the time Money expounded his theory and it was announced that it was wrong - and badly handled - the theory got ensconced in some feminist theory and the consciousness of the general populace. Psychologist John Money oversaw the case and reported the reassignment as successful and as evidence that gender identity is primarily learned. Now is a good time to stop repeating that one. The gender identity comes first (inately), and the learning of gender roles is imposed as the child grows and matures. Your theory that "mother-son separation anxiety is the basis for understanding transsexual kids" sounds like an unsound leap - to postulate that a theory about 'normal' development applies to transsexual kids, equally - seems to suggest your willingness to deny the existence of the phenomenon of transsexual kids, entirely. Given the evidence (some listed - kindly - by doob), that leap seems - insufficiently supported by reality. And - if we are to grant 'appeal to authority' arguments (longtimer in field), then surely "longtimer in the life" must be granted some validity, as well. I might recommend "Transsexuals: Candid Answers to Private Questions by Gerald, Ph.D. Ramsey (May 1996)" - not so much for it it's value to academicians (it is a '101' for family of transsexuals) - but because it represents the long-standing positions of 'longtimers in the field' coming up against the reality of meeting and exploring a (relatively) large number of transsexual people. He said - to paraphrase - that he came into the position expecting to find the kind of troubled 'men' that the prevalent psychological community described at the time (the prevailing (unsupported) 'theory' at the time was that "these were men who had had insufficient male guidance in childhood' didn't seem to hold up in real-world encounters (not 'seeing one on the street' - but interacting with them intensely in continued therapy), but ultimately coming to regard that the phenomenon was real, and was one of physiological origin I offer to you the observation that - quite differently from "academic theories" about transsexuals (including the hogwash current during my experience with the psychological community) - my lived experience as a transsexual compels me to impart to you that your theory doesn't fit reality, and I urge you to continue your explorations. I infer from this that you support 'reparitive therapy' (which has been criticized and compared to torture in other contexts). If I have misunderstood you, could you please state your preferred treatment modality for transsexuals?
  11. Two words ... Nogg.
  12. Waitresses in Baltimore notoriously call everyone 'hon'. In the workplace, a man will call a woman 'hon', but never would call a man (a coworker) 'hon'. In my opinion (having experienced "being treated like a man" and "being treated like a woman") it is often part of 'the power dynamic' whereby a man let's you know he thinks you are a second class citizen.
  13. Can a five year-old make such an identity decision? They do. I would argue it isn't a 'decision' as much as coming to an understanding of yourself. Children of that age don't weigh the options and declare their decision - they announce who they think they are. Most of the time - almost all of the time - it is that their understanding of their gender identity aligns with their physical body. Playing dress-up is not a decision about your gender identity. I seriously doubt the situation you've described is a result of the child expressing a desire to dress as a princess once or twice after watching a Disney movie. It would appear the mother is convinced, and is prepared to support her transgender child. I do hope - and I imagine it is the case - that she has engaged the services of counselors knowledgeable in the field. A distinguishing characteristic is Here is the context for that quote. Here is one of my favorite discussions of this topic. I transitioned when I was 30. I knew when I was 4. Knowing what gender you are is a part of childhood development recognized in the first link. Transitioning - is a decision. Often a decision between "is it possible for me to do such a thing" - or "shall I just kill myself because it is not possible".
  14. I am being followed. :shy:

  15. Awesome truth-telling.