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Dasterlyn

Veteran Member
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About Dasterlyn

  • Rank
    Veteran Member

Personality

  • MBTI
    INTJ
  • Astrology Sign
    Leo

Converted

  • Location
    NJ
  • Occupation
    Political Science and Economics Majors
  • Gender
    Female
  • Personal Text
    "In the long run, we are all dead" -Keynes
  1. why force yourself to want someting you clearly don't want...
  2. Well i'm suprised this thread hasn't gotten more replies lol
  3. In your individual quest for knowledge, truth, enlightenment, ect., have you yet dabbled in the psychedelic realm? I'm curious about your own psychedelic encounters and how you reconcile it with "reality", logic, and ego. What do/did you make of it? Did it make a big impact on you or did you just shrug it off? Experiences with ego-death? Have you broken through to the other side? Personally, I think intjs are in a unique position to be so rational minded and yet have the potential to be idealistic at the same time. Comfortable with paradox, highly-intuitive, unsatisfied or bored with society, eager for knowledge...Well, imo, the epitome of knowledge worth seeking is the understanding of the true nature of reality. What is all this? How did we get here? What lies beyond my limited perception? They say we require evidence in order to change our views. Well, have your views been changed? Also, any other big Terence McKenna fans? (And feel free to PM me anything that may not be suitable for the forum )
  4. Listening to Terence McKenna.
  5. Hey everyone...So I'm a teller now. I'm 22. I work at a community (small) bank and it is essential that I make small talk with customers (no ifs ands or buts-supervisors are always listening). I rocked the interview several months ago. Too much. I was out going and stuff and they loved my personality. My manager even told me in our "talks", that he could have hired someone with banking experience who would have picked everything up much quicker but he didn't because of my personality. So I pretty much turned out to be a real let down even though my manager hasn't put it that way. I know he must regret hiring me. There is also a good argument for staying in my current job. I work at the main branch were all the back-office people are upstairs (again, a small bank) and I'm always greeting the president and senior vp. There's a lot of potential to move up in a variety of areas in banking...if I so choose. I don't appear confident at all. I'm meek in front of authority and in a professional setting. When I try to make small talk with customers it's always awkward and doesn't sound natural like the other tellers. What I know bothers my manager even more maybe though is that I haven't really "opened up" with the team. I also seem to ask questions that I already know the awnser to which makes my manager unsure of what I truly know and do not know about my job. This is seriously becoming a problem which I never anticipated it would to this extent. It's so embarrassing...my manager and one of my other supervisors really see it as a problem and have begun having "talks" with me to basically try and figure out what my "deal" is. What I hate though, and what I CANNOT control, is how emotional those talks make me that I can barely say I word. It's like I'm going to burst out crying. Literally. The whole embarrassment of it all and how incompetent I feel...I just want to cry my eyes out so those "talks" are hardly productive. I've been told "I hired you, I don't want you to fail". And "say a position opens up, I don't know if you would be a good candidate or not because I don't know what you know or not". I believe my manager is an ESTP too which is great... I don't get how this is still a huge problem for me despite all the personal growth I've gone through over the past couple years...well of course I "get it"...in an INTJ but ugh. I'm thinking that the only way to get through this and save my job is to bring up my intj personality in our "talks". Maybe it would all make sense. Anything so that they know I'm not just some awkward loser. I'm also thinking of having my physiatrist see if she can give me anything to make me more relaxed and thus help me be more social (I've tried a med in the past that had this effect). Any advice?
  6. mind altering substances
  7. Talking through the phone can be somewhat disorienting sometimes...
  8. Hey yea lots and lots have changed I don't even know where to start xD

  9. Hey Dast. I just popped backed onto the forum and a lot has changed for me... holy shit. I saw that we talked and I thought it'd be nice to talk again. How is life treating you?

  10. I do though! :D
  11. Just curious, do any of you sometimes feel that you are mentally "slow" in the sense that things that you would think would be simple to comprehend, it just takes you a bit longer? Then you think, wow I felt really incompetent there for a second. For example, most of the time when someone gives me directions in terms of "left" and "right", I really need to think about it visually for a sec. It doesn't (usually) come naturally like I think it should. Also, sadly, very simple mental math doesn't come quick to me either. I'm talking 7+9 =???? Not saying I can't get the answer, but some counting on fingers may be required. Even being physically slow. Like when I'm leaving class, I take my time and organize my stuff and put on my jacket, scarf, gloves, check to make sure I didn't leave anything, ect. But maybe that's just preferring not to be in a rush. But mentally, it feels like I'm "slow" in some way. It's a strange feeling, like it's as if my mind wants my body to move faster but it just doesn't work out that way. Please tell me there's a logical explanation for this lol
  12. You are quite a character, aren't you?

  13. I can answer your question by responding to your second point: naïveté. Don't you think most guys in prison are tough? Don't you think most serious drug dealers believe they are "very thorough"? It may take weeks or years, but you WILL get caught. And it won't be worth it.
  14. Haha yeaaaa you won't last long in prison so I'd avoid this at all costs : p Don't get me wrong, it's a nice fantasy though