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About Exelone

  • Rank
    Veteran Member


  • MBTI
  • Brain Dominance


  • Biography
    no fear to understand, bring it on
  • Occupation
    professional bad saver
  • Gender
  • Personal Text
    If you can't laugh at yourself, I can happily do it for you.
  1. Meh. I'm on the same boat. I've turned reclusive, I don't trust many people. People don't trust people. People can't trust themselves half the time. People don't have to learn that we're brought here to not to serve anyone but ourselves because it's natural of us to learn so anyway. Oh well, I've always been intuitively suspicious of others -- enough to detect what contention may protrude beyond a person's mind. What contention their mind has that they wish to bring to reality kinda thing. HP customer support, Landlord and Yale view you as a customer, you viewed them as an element that will continue to dissipate your trust with age. Don't be crank, be frank. People will only operate at a level that they are on. Best wishes.
  2. when someone does something good no one remembers, when someone does something bad no one forgets

    1. Sarea


      Very insightful. And I agree.


      It merely takes mere seconds to destroy decades of good reputation.

    2. Sarea


      Oh but the individuals to whom the good deeds are done...I doubt they ever forget.

  3. Also is that Mmm like "yum" or like "oh"

    Is that like "Yum Heroin!" or "Oh.. herion."

  4. My relationship with my dad is great. Years ago when I was still living at his house, not really working, doing drugs, breaking the rules, our relationship was stressed. But now that we have our space and I'm not dependent on him, our relationship is awesome really. We hang out, play board games, show eachother silly stuff on the internet. We get into projects together. Right now he's doing some major landscaping at his house. He took out so many trees, I was like "wtf are you doing?" cause it's like my childhood home and seeing it change so drastically is alarming. However, it is his home, and one thing he brought up is he just needed to make change to his home because of how much association there is there with my mom. So I guess I'm glad he's just landscaping and remodeling his house instead of moving, which he's talked about a lot. So lately I've just been feeling good about helping him fulfill his vision for his home. And when he talks about selling it, I think about about buying it from him someday.

    My best memories of my mother are there, digging in the dirt with my little hands, she taught me how to plant seeds and make a garden. I still spend time with my mom occasionally. I'll help her with projects as well, but the relationship always feels like some kind of business arrangement instead of like my dad it feels like we're friends, family.

  5. i don't have one. You got the wrong number. :P

  6. Go and polish your crown Sarea. It needs polishing. :)

  7. You overestimate the power of One. regardless if The One holds that key to what lies between, ahead, and the further on the horizon.

    That same The One can also be consumed by the fire burning slow and alive, ie If She treads where the faux branches are seemingly intertwined intact.

    But as of now, the fire's burning blue and coolly enticing, very much alluring and inviting with no trace of the ferocious heat simmering down in the bottomless pit.

  8. Just surviving.. is the enticement of the dark-affiliate realms slowing producing more foliage? Are you coping well? I'm assuming yes. Because you're Sarea.

  9. Dearest Exelone,

    Please analyse if you may.

    And mercilessly so. :P

  10. Ahhh interesting insight.

    How's the relationship between you and your old man these days? I've always maintained a close relationship with my parents so I've always had an active ear to hear one's side of their relationships with parents or a parent that didn't go so well as they always have a story to tell about how things happened to pan out.

    Mmm, heroin.

    The harder they fall..

  11. Dearest Sarea,

    Debrief time.

    How is you?

  12. Fair point, I like that and willingly admity my assumption of your little vision may be wrong on my behalf. Like I said, I'm sorry if your agenda within this domain is to only hear what you feel like hearing. If your ready to discount advice and experience from all angles, then be ready to feel let down more than you already do. You're basically just copping your own shit.
  13. I don't think of it as an impact per se because I had never really been close to her to begin with. It was just the normal state in that sense. But I did notice that my friends and their mothers had this closeness and openness that I didn't have with mine. So in that sense I could tell it was not normal.

    Eventually my parents divorced. That wasn't so much a shock to me as it was a relief in away. I saw it coming. For a long time there was this weird energy at home between my parents and I could sense it.

    As I got older I've had a lot of conversation with my dad about the whole thing and their relationship and he says he felt like he couldn't really get close to her either.

    Unfortunately she may have some trauma from her own childhood that prevents her from opening up to being close to people. I've learned not to blame her for that. It is however unfortunate the effect it had on my development.

    So actually yes, I suppose is had an impact.

    #2: mainly heroin.

  14. That was deep to read.

    Has the distance of you and your mother caused huge impact?

    What opiates exactly were you using?

  15. Your little vision thought wrong, which is why I only posted one sentence of me being facetious, it was satire in reference to your thread title of subhuman. I'm sorry if you feel like you're here to only readily hear what you want to hear because if I were to profile and script all your recent threads and posts it'll invoke some reaction in me that will tell you what you need to hear, because I have a clear idea of your struggles already. I feel like an alien. Scratch that. I am an alien. Why? Because I feel I play the part well. I came to that conclusion this year. A force of idea that provokes you to feel subhuman due to the daily attributes of mordern-day living you may struggle to align with reflects comparison of where you feel you're at to where your thoughts believe the general layman is at - you were the one that presented those examples anyway. I even had a thread from a few years back expanding on how showering daily is pointless in my eyes. Cleanliness and grooming is apart of my agenda but never will I feel less subhuman than I already am just because of a division of appearance - that's superficiality and low self-esteem. I've presented my appearance in many ways to the modern world but I was always the one smiling and giving the nice gesture of the nod of my head. Last year going to a wedding, that was my first time wearing a suit in a very long time. Saving the magic of wearing that attire was magic itself. Believe me, it's better to be the person smiling than the one not smiling back. These days I dress with modesty and quite comfortably, same goes with grooming and cleanliness. Be comfortable with yourself.