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About Gilbertgrape

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  1. What's eating you, Gilbert?

  2. It seems like both male and female INTJ's have a problem in the dating seen, for the most part, yet would make excellent long term partners for some of the exact same traits. While INTJ woman on this board has different levels of comfort in showing interest, a lot of the stories seem to be very similar. There are INTJ women in relationships though, so there must be men out there who are either very persistent and/or confident to go through the process of getting unintentional mixed signals. This is excluding INTJ men of course who might be very comfortable and more understanding of the pace of an INTJ woman.
  3. Thank you everyone for your perspectives. I think my biggest challenge is not being able to read her signals (if there are signals) properly and more importantly learning that I need to be patient. I have read on other threads the need to be patient when developing a relationship, of any kind, with an INTJ. I need to respect that and just enjoy the moment with out over analyzing it I suppose.
  4. I'm actually fine with having her as just a friend. Since I've moved it's nice to make as many friends as possible. It really is my (selfish) impatient curiosity at play. One of things I was never good at in most of my past relationships was patience. This time, I'm learning patience all to well. You are right, two months is actually a very short amount of time.
  5. Haha. She does both of those, she doesn't show any (traditional) signs of interest and she does stare at me, mostly smiling though. Yes, eventually I will need to address this with her, I just don't want her to go back into her shell if I she assumes I am pressuring her.
  6. Thank you both for your timely responses. She is 29 years of age. I do realize that there is some interest, but of what kind I'm not sure. Yeah, I do need to stop overanalyzing it and just enjoy it. I have been enjoying it and keeping it easy. I just thought I'd see how other people who have no emotional attachment to the situation look at it I guess.
  7. Hello all. I wanted to start off by thanking everyone on this forum for helping to gain insight into certain people in a way that I haven't seen before. I have been a lurker here for the past few months but today I thought I'd jump right in and ask for your advice. I apologize if this post is a little long but I felt I should not leave out a lot of the details so that you can make a better judgment about my situation. While I am fairly confident that there are some signs of interest coming from this woman, I would very much like to get 2nd opinions from others. Background: I am an ENTP male and am starting to develop a strong attraction to an INTJ female who is a new friend of mine. I've recently moved cities and have started working at the same place as the the woman. While she has never actually taken the MBTI test, she does exhibit very strong INTJ tendencies. While reading though the forums about INTJ women and their stories, it is almost scary how alike her experiences have been compared to theirs. From the outside she seems very aloof, cold and detached, but over the last few months of spending time with her, I have definitely seen an inner, more sensitive core. She is recently out of a broken engagement (6 months back.) We started off as coworkers and acquaintances but have been spending a lot more time together outside of work. A little over two months ago I invited her out for dinner and drinks as a thank you for recommending the apartment building that both her and I live in. I just thought I'd get these three "red flags" out of the way early. 1. Recent broken engagement. 2. Work at the same place although not together and do not see each other very often. 3. We do live in the same Apt. building after she referred it to me a few months back. Since that first time out we have either gone out to eat and drinks, stayed in and watched movies or have gone hiking at least once every week and on some weeks we've hung out twice in the same weekend. From what I understand INTJ's value their alone time very much, so I should take this as a good sign of interest that she has accepted every invitation I've offered and on several occasions has actually asked me to hang out with her, after I had dropped hints. For example, I had asked her when our next movie night would be. The next day afternoon she asked me back if would like to come to her place to watch movies. She has opened up to me a lot about her upbringing and has started to become more open emotionally with me, by this I mean laughing and smiling when she's with me. She has started to become more sarcastic and teasing, I am very sarcastic and tease a lot myself. She has complimented my intelligence and has come to me on several occasions for advice about our occupations, I have a lot more experience than she does and have been published for what we both do. We have sat next to each other, lightly touching, while watching movies, but there has been no overt touching other than that. She not only agrees to see me regularly, but she also seems to go out of her way to do it sometimes. For example, two weekends ago I watched a friends house and cats while her and her husband were out of town, my friend's house in about a half and hour from where the INTJ and myself both live. The INTJ woman asked if I wanted to hang out the Friday that I was watching the house. I said sure but that she would have to come up to the house to do that. After starting her work at 6am and working all day she then went to her cousin's wedding that evening until 9pm. She still drove out to the house and watched movies with me until almost 1am. She then had to go to a weekend class all day Saturday and most of Sunday. I am normally used to dating women who are more affectionate and open with their emotions, this is why I am a little shaky in the confidence department in this situation. We have not held hands or kissed so far. I do enjoy her very much and would like to continue seeing her but it would be nice to know if I am making progress towards dating or if this is just two people who are friendly. I am sure, if she is interested in me, she has analyzed the fall out of unreturned attraction or dating gone wrong given the fact that we will see each other at work or sometime in the apartment building. We are both adults, myself mid 30s, she is in her late 20s, so I believe we could both be mature in handling the situation of living so close to each other. Even if she were not an INTJ, I would certainly see her reasons for taking things very slowly. I am completely fine with that and believe taking things slowly is by far the best way to progress in a healthy relationship. Having said that, I still would like to know if I am wasting my time and emotional investment. I apologize if this is too long or disorganized, I wrote this hastily at the last minute. Anyone feel free to comment, INTJs, non-INTJs, men, women. I will gladly offer more information if it is needed. tl;dr Looking for signs of interest from a female INTJ and have spent one on one time with her at least once every week for the past nine weeks.