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Remszarvas

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About Remszarvas

  • Rank
    Member

Personality

  • MBTI
    INTJ
  • Astrology Sign
    r u kidding?
  • Brain Dominance
    Balanced

Converted

  • Location
    Europe
  • Gender
    Female

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  1. Yet an other video to add:
  2. 1: Yes, but I think they do not mean "suffering" really but "struggle" (I don't know any theaching tho). Struggle for and against change. 2: There is NO purpose. Life IS change and we struggle for and against it simultaneously. 3: Definately not. 4: No 5: Euthanasia - which is assisted suicide in case of humans - is ok, as suffering is not the point of life by any stretch of imagination. Murder is an entirely different category. 6: it is not. 7: Sort of... Change is inevitable, pain is essential (orienting), suffering is optional. Suffering is a mindset toward pain. I do not suffer when I hurt myself, I suffer when I hurt myself and disregarding the pain go on hurting myself on and on again the same way. ("I do not suffer from craziness, I enjoy every second of it." )
  3. @Moonheart I think you overthink a bit here. Noone conditions anyone to fall speechles in awe of a beautiful scenery, amazing orchestra or when survival instinct kicks in, in a dangerous situation. The parts of our brains responsible for sensory processing and basic survival insticts, including sex, is primordial. It existed long before speech did, it cannot talk and never could. There are no thoughts there that could be verbalised. Involuntary moans sure but no words. It might have been also crutial back than not to attracts attention hence the general hush-hush around on all levels. (Being an exhibitionist is pretty new phenomenon and probably a replacement of the lurking lions, inducing adrenaline.) Now based on this I would think that those personalities who are more in tune with their sensing and/or feeling self on baseline, might not loose speech so much as those who are not. My theory is that SFs are more likely to be able to even speak while having sex while NTs might fall mute. ...but I think the OP question wasn't quite about talking. I personally find both silence, staring with hazy eyes and some moans/heavy breath in my ears a major turn on but talking belongs to foreplay...the long game convincing my thinking to throw the reins in. I desperately try to turn my thinking off so don't like it when it has to come back online, talking. Show me don't tell me... Music is great to make even the accidental inner monologue go shut the fuck up.
  4. Hmmm... this is not what I meant under projection. I meant that you project your "fear" of being manimulated or even just to conform to the norm into how you interpret peoples comments - you read too much into them. >>"So I don't try to change people. Yet they constantly feel the need to pick at me." I do know how annoying these comments are as I did/do get them - almost comically even the one about drinking :D - but mostly just from family, who are closeISH but not friends. I'm quite sure for instance that my family does not "pick at me" when they ask or push about relationships ...or that I should go out ...or come home ...or do this or that. They try to be helpful. They cannot fathom how am I not dieing of lonlyness. Their comment is more the statement, that they cannot sit in a room by themselves without being entertained for five minutes. They try to show that they care. Arguably this is not the kind of caring you want if you are an INTJ, but these are the people who might listen to you if you tell them what you want. Closeness is when you do tell them "Look, thank you for trying, but I am not interrested in a relationship right now.". ...and switch the topic, to some you do actually want to talk about. True, finding the right people you can "just hang out with" while being actually close is hard. I found mine by sheer accident and between finding one and the next ten years went by bumping into just acquaintance material. So you seem perfectly fine to me, just need a bit more confidence - the real one that you actually feel - to not be bothered by such comments. For finding real friends you may just need time.
  5. This too. And to be fair @EchoFlame , friends, the real ones, would wish the best for you and tell you if you are sabotaging yourself in some way. They might accept it but surely a real friendship is where people tell eachother their views without too much of fear. Who else would care to give you real feedback, beside complete strangers on the internet of course? Our feedback might be usefull to you but we can see a different side of you than a real life friend would. Try to take the input from people who you think want to "fix you" from a step back, a little more objective and not as an attack on your ego. There is only two possibility, either it does not matter what they think and it tells more about them then you - it is their coping mechanism - or it does matter and is a usefull information to you. Neiter should make you angry. :)
  6. @Sarea Yeah, that would be awesome, but unfortunately it is way out of my league. :)
  7. This is when you are NOT close on any level just are friendly and on the same frequency. Not bad but it is no freindship yet. I'm closer to my not even colegues just luch party oldtimers in the hall we have the office in. They do ask if I need help with moving furniture and poke around about private life in that half an hour we have at lunch. Closeness starts when you or them initiate to spend the time you do not need to spend togethe, together ...and you also start to at least compalain about the weather or how you slept or something. You have to make the leap of faith and tell them a weakness of yours or interest or ask them a favour*. If you pick the person outside of your (apparently non-existing) circle** this is not that risky. Who would he tell about it who cares and has any influence on you in any way? If they respond well great if not who's next. BTW you made me think... What is the situation when you think they/you try to get close and you push them away? This is interresting as what you called closeness I wouldn't call closeness at all, not yet. I did push my ex-boss away however when he was asking questions even as benign as "what music do you listen too" - as I love death metal and it does not sit well I guessed - and I was puzzled about if I should ask him anything remotly private at all. The answer would be yes, it is advantageous to be more trusting than I was even to a boss. But it was new to me and I did not know how to be friendly but not friends with him. Try to find groups where people share your interests. https://www.meetup.com/ is a place where I tryed. If you live in a city it might work better for you than it did for me. *This is an actual trick, if they help they will feel appreciated and anticipate your friendship. **My best friends, those I would go to if I needed and ear, a shoulder or a crazy time out or even a deep conversation are way outside my original circle. Even my primary school friend grew to be outside of it eventually. The thing it works better so. We do vastly different things beside being connected over some topics and we do not become boring to each other that way. I found this to be crucial and couldn't make friends with colleagues because boredom.
  8. Thank you. I'll do that then. I think I did. As much as I do have a job now and don't need to work there I hope to negotiate better in case they are interrested. The only thing is that I feel like I'm betraying my current boss who seem to count with me for a long time. ...but I do not know how serious people are when they talk about such things.
  9. It might be also a factor that they have the money to just take a two months holiday to let's say Spain without movin there. I totally aspire to do that one day. :D
  10. Assassin's Creed Ok, I did not know the story and did not check it on purpose of not spoiling the movie. Some friends of mine were fond of the game and praised it around history. Mostly architecture and stuff though and the visuals were cool accordingly. But hte story ...MEhhh, so much potential wasted yet again. Well, what should one expect form a videogame movie, right? It's a pretty good for no brainer. :D
  11. I'd look into how you choose those people as well. I have the feeling you base your choise of people on something that is not comming from you or not really and when they try to be really close the red flag generator intuition goes haywire. I have friends I think I am really close to however we hardly ever meet in person, but they were "friends at first sight". Still had people around me I tryed my best to be friends with for "why not" or "most criteria I can think of checks out" without being able to let them close. We just did not fit. I can't put it in words what should fit, but I do recognise it in minutes. @EchoFlame You do not have a single good friend or just would want some more?
  12. Hehe, same here...almost except my list confined to a 2500km radius: 5 cities in 4 countries (speaking different languages!) on one continet. I do have a certain amount of wanderlust and liked the excitement around moving. After 10 years though, it dwindled and now I only wish to take holidays regularly but prefere not to move. (...I could have moved two times to two other countries aswell but choose not to - still in "my" radius. Sometimes I wonder if it was wise or not.) Having to start all over again is a drag. You sever all the little ties you managed to build, and being an introvert does not help. I used to think it will make me bettre at building connection if I have to. Nope. I've got better at being a hermit. :D I laso thought it does not matter where you do not feel home or not fit in, but it does. Hopping cities in a country is bad enough for this reason but hopping country is much worse with the extra downside of having to build up rights for social security ...if even having the rights to build one at all. ...... added to this post 2 minutes later: Oh yeah, and if you manage to live in one place long enough you'll be a bit "homesick" when you move away. How I'm homesick when I am home too. :D
  13. I'm wondering how much sense it would make to apply again to work for the same company I did work for 3 years ago - I worked there for around 3 years. I was made redundant after the local office lost a couple of competitions and we did not have enough work to do. The company has many offices and I wouldn't apply to the same office I worked in for personal reasons*. The thing is I have no clue what they thought of me for real. Niceties are nice but you do not get to know reality from them. Sometimes I wish there was some harsh rant in the face kind of reflection on my work. It would probably hurt and I would deny most if not all of it at first, but at least I would know... I tend to be a little paranoic about how lazy and incompetent I am. I'm working in a small office right now and find the work quite boring, however I am appreciated which is good. Still I think this is a sort of pensioner's work I should try to avoid until I actually am a pensioner...or it were good enough for a side job. I crave challenge and the excitement of working again after being unemployed for a while is just not enough any more. So... Would you apply? There is no recent job announced I just thought to ping the CEO that if they have something coming up I were interested. Would it be super disloyal to my recent employer? ...I feel somewhat guilty enven for thinking of this. * If they employed me again I wouldn't feel weird but there was quite some stress at the end the last time. They had to let go more people and you never know what else worked in the background when they choose me to let go. To be on the safe side, let's not go there. :)
  14. I know way too little about way too few of them to choose one really. If I had to, I'd pick Bertrand Russell. ...and I love Sam Harris, but he is work in progress. :D I never know how much I do agree with them let alone in persentage. I was actually wondering about this question the other day. I never agree 100% with any of the philosophers I ever read, but neither would I agree with my own self after learning something new. (And this is the point of the whole thing.) Pretty sure they did not agree with themselves 100% over time and they refined and modified their views too. ...so what would a 100% agreement even look like? If I don't have that reference how could I estimate the percentage?
  15. If you can read yourself the dog will too. The only people a good dog may not be able to read are the people who themselves do not know what they will feel from one second to the other - which is not very INTJ :). ...and I'm just guessing, dogs might read those crazy folks too. I had a dog, a pointer, that was as silly as Pluto in all manners and still could behave on his own volition in a way that he won the good graces of our old "dog hunter" grumpy cat ... just because he wanted to sleep beside her. He was pure love and did not demand active engagement all the time, he just wanted to be near. (Oh, i miss him )