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About someintj

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  1. Careful there. You may just limit your own career potential. I always gave 110% and although it rarely was recognized, sometimes it was. And when it was, it was life changing. You get a reputation you know. My experience is that life proceeds in a series of quantum jumps.... And when the jump happens, you want to be in the right place.
  2. Personally, I know I can be very emotional about some things: sports, family, friends, love, hate, movies, etc ... However, when it comes to making decisions I am exceptionally rational and I believe that I am far better than most at setting emotion aside. This is often perceived as lack of emotion, but I consider it strength.
  3. At 55, I have managed to become very interested in things I didn't used to be interested in. This includes gardening, cooking, and keeping a neat house. There is logic, scheduling, efficiency, in each, and so I have sort of mastered them. Ten years ago I was bad at all, because I was working on my career. Once I was making enough money and my career was settled, I turned my attention towards those things. I still hate and am bad at small talk, understanding office politics, and knowing when to shut up if I think something is being done incorrectly. I seem only able to work well with people when I'm the boss and so have more say in how things will be done. I am awful at doing work that is required when it seems pointless to me.
  4. Yes, that was me, too, for many years. The way out for me, I think, was that I did my job well and gained a good reputation for that. Sometimes I wonder if I really crave respect even more than friendship, because once I had that, I became satisfied, happy, and, most importantly, outwardly confident. I have a number of good personal friends now, almost all from work, and I feel absolutely that I have a good life.
  5. I owned a house in a neighborhood that was very nice in the 90s. Around 2006 some turned into rental units and the neighborhood started going down hill. The last straw was when the neighbors house next door went to a renter with a giant blue pick-up truck that just roared. You could hear it for block when it left. It could wake me up in my house. That was it. I started looking for new houses, found one, and moved away. I felt it was pure luck that somebody bought my house with that truck next door.
  6. If anything is going to happen here, let it take place very gradually over time. For now, all you can do is be a fun but professional coworker. She's not on the market unless and until she cancels the engagement - so put all thoughts of a you and her together out of your head. Show some integrity, man.
  7. This pretty much sums up my life experience. Once my career and interests finally aligned, life became both fulfilling and rewarding. I could hardly be happier with how things turned out now, but there were periods in my twenties and even thirties when I felt totally ignored and unappreciated. I couldn't stand the way I was then, but it was a necessary part of becoming who I am now. Thus, my answer to the OP's question is that I love being an INTJ now, but hated it for many years.
  8. As an INTJ scientist who works among INTP scientists, I can see there is overlap in our approaches. The difference, as I see it, is that INTJs are more fearless about moving forward without having all of the answers yet. Put it out there, see what others think, and adjust if necessary. INTPs can't put something out there until they're certain there are no flaws. They can be very critical and unproductive at times, but the INTJ/INTP combination makes a powerful and productive team. My INTP friends are better writers- when they finally do get around to writing - but I am way more productive in terms of generating data, papers, and reports. I also work with an INFJ scientist and find that he gets bogged down with trivial details. He is very careful, but doesn't have the knack of the INTJ or INTP for writing winning proposals or for developing thought-provoking models.
  9. My behavior in class depended on the subject and professor. I could be front row center with hand up when I was into it (usually a science class). I could be sleeping hard when out of it (usually a humanities class). I don't really know how I got through some classes, because I'd fall asleep in class and also when reading the material.
  10. I'm in my fifties and have attended many weddings in just a pair of nice pants and a dress shirt. It's no big deal as I have seen that many others dress similarly. The one place I absolutely wear a suit is at funerals for people I knew well.
  11. I was like you when I was younger- Often #1 in the class in anything involving reasoning but hopeless if it involved speaking or writing to others or to groups. In hind sight, I probably lost many early job opportunities because of the interview. My solution: I went to grad school and got a PHD. The profs worked on my shyness, too, and made sure I got plenty of practice in front of potentially hostile audiences. I also found it easier to talk to other grad students and to professors than to most others. At 55 now, those painful shy days are a distant memory. Few would guess now what I was like then. It feels to me now that it was a blessing to have been too shy to get a regular job. It forced me back to school and launched me toward something much better - a career as a government research scientist. I should mention that I am often one of the guys interviewing and hiring job applicants now. I find that many on the interview panel judge candidates almost completely by interview performance rather than by merit. As an INTJ myself, I look at the whole picture, but can attest that my top candidates are often different from the rest of the panel. I'm more likely than most to judge based on the full lifetime of work, rather than a 30 minute performance. But, sorry to say, that where I work, I'm in the minority.
  12. Have almost unlimited energy and attention span when needed to solve important problems.
  13. ENFJ: Found this description at another site. Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them. Also: they have no taste for impersonal analytical analysis. It took me years to understand why I got along so badly with my manager. Once she told me her MBTI type, it made total sense to me. She can't judge my team's work on merit and so favors those she has the most fun talking to, some of whom I think are dragging down the whole laboratory by their lack of productivity. We have gotten along better and I have gotten my way more often since I learned how to present requests. Still, she is terribly manipulative and tries to make one disastrous decision after another. I stop some, but it is painful, and takes time. Some horrible decisions with long lasting consequences still get made on a regular basis. She should have been fired long ago, but the person above her appears to be totally the same type and so they're friends.
  14. I have no proof but, like some above, I've been odd since day 1: loved maps, numbers, trying to see patterns, endless drive and truly excited to find out how things worked. I was one of six kids in a deeply religious family, but turned to a career in science, against my parents' wishes. I hated and was hopeless at memorizing verses but read the encyclopedia and worked at number puzzles for my own personal enjoyment. I don't think I met anyone quite like me until grad school.
  15. I raised two kids with my wife who is an ISFJ. I felt it was a good combo since we each provided what the other could not. We had fun as a family and my kids excelled in school and sports and earned good college scholarships. One will be a doctor and the other is an engineer. in answer to the question, yes, I felt like I was a good parent, but might not have been without my wife.