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About KonTiki

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  1. I've only Skyped from home once in the last six months. I would like to be better about keeping in touch with friends via email, but in spite of my intentions I don't write very often even with home Internet access. I work in academia, so I can do pretty much anything (including job applications) from work. Also, I can take a laptop to a cafe if I need to. Bills are tricky.
  2. I'm thinking about disconnecting my cable Internet access at home, and I need validation before I take that big step. Perhaps I'm coming to the wrong group? I used to read books. I used to meet friends for drinks and go out during the week. Now I read newspapers online and watch YouTube videos. And meet people online (including through INTJf). I don't hate my online activities, I just think I'm really bad at maintaining a balance, ie, reigning in my Internet use. Maybe I'm addicted to the Internet. I don't think about it when I'm not online, though. What do you think? Is it possible to be a productive member of society in 2015 without home Internet access? Would you do it? The biggest challenge I foresee, besides filling up my evenings, will be paying my bills online. I'll have to do that from work. (Full disclosure, I can still access the Internet and email through my phone, but it's not nearly as convenient.)
  3. The OP might like Matt Ridley's book "The Red Queen." Ridley trained as an evolutionary biologist and the book describes sexual diversity across the animal kingdom, with implications drawn for human sexuality. http://www.amazon.com/The-Red-Queen-Evolution-Nature/dp/0060556579 My take-away from Ridley's book is that there are many strategies for attracting the opposite sex, though the mechanics of mating favors the retention of a sexual binary. In many species though, the female is larger and tougher than the male. I would argue that cultural definitions of masculinity and femininity have narrowed in recent years. A hundred years ago, a woman could be a tom-boy and have no (or little) trouble finding a man. A woman who can work hard on the farm? Awesome! Similarly, a man could be what we would today call effeminate and still be one of the guys. I feel that now, more women (such as the OP's friend) are threatened by tom-boy behavior, and men are less tolerant of effeminate behavior in other men. I would also argue that the change reflects the growing acceptance of LGBT. There's a tension between two world views. The traditional view has two big tents - one for men and the other for women. The new worldview has many small tents. Each worldview holds that the other is immoral.
  4. You're showing up late for class. That's an indication that you're not ready for the professional world where people treat each other with respect. You can't quietly arrive late to a client meeting. The argument that you're paying and it's just school is rationalization. I'm guessing that your instructor has seen this attitude before and hoped that by assigning a couple patronizing essays and perhaps making an example of you she could avoid the issue. I teach at a university and don't require attendance and I don't make students write silly essays about appropriate behavior. I'd estimate that when treated as adults, 80% of the students rise to the challenge. I'd be fine with that, except that with the remaining 20% arriving late and asking off-topic questions during discussions, the other students start to slack off too. So, I crack the whip. That said, your instructor does sound like a douchebag.
  5. Thank you!! :-) Happy to know it was coherent versus random. I didn't proof it and I never know if my thoughts are going to stream in a way that make sense to others.

  6. I would reiterate everything shotzy said. 1. Watch online videos of Ed "Ned" Hallowell. If you can afford them, buy his books. 2. Watch Russell Barkley's videos too. Sobering. 3. Don't be afraid of Adderall. It's not as addictive as some people say. Indeed, it is really only psychologically addictive. People are scared of it because it's schedule II, but it doesn't belong in the same category as cocaine, imo. It also has a bad rap because people abuse it for partying. Don't do that. The physical addictiveness of methamphetamine comes from the methyl group, which Adderall lacks. Ritalin is physically more addictive than Adderall. 4. In choosing a therapist, find one who also works with children. Two reasons. First, most therapists have difficulty understanding the ADD minds. Indeed, people who don't have ADD typically understand ADD symptoms to be moral failings, as you kinda suggest about yourself. It sucks to explain to a therapist how you experience life, only to have him tell you that you need to try harder. Second, if you have ADD, and you reached adulthood without getting diagnosed, you have good (complex) coping mechanisms. Chances are, you hide your ADD symptoms well. A child psychologist will recognize these coping mechanisms, having watched them develop in children. 5. Exercise. 6. Nicotine has a very similar effect to Adderall.
  7. I am an ENFP and lack anxiety rather conspicuously. The times when I do get anxious are when I have to (1) follow someone who is not capable, or (2) pretend that dishonesty or abuse aren't happening.
  8. That is great to hear. You might want to look into getting the Ketonix. It will tell you if you how far into ketosis you are. You just breath into it.

    I just jumped back up 4 pounds over the holidays, but I am not seeing it in my waist. Some weight lifters on the ketosis diet talk about doing carb days to put on muscle mass. I am going to start measuring stomach/bicep/chest to see if this is true although it could be just water weight. I'll try to keep you updated.

    If you learn anything new let me know.

  9. Badger, I'm down 15-20 lbs on a ketogenic diet that I started at the end of October. I'm feeling great. I'm planning to add more weight lifting (I've mostly just been walking thus far) and continue with the diet to lose another 15-20. Also, I may finally buy some of the reference books to better understand the biochem behind the diet. Thanks again!

  10. I'm attracted to INTJ women because they are a reliable source of clever insights and perspective on the world. I am also impressed by (and a bit envious of) their ability to navigate the world. Relationships with them are fun because they are so responsive to the emotional attention that I can provide them. I like INFJ women because I usually have a lot of respect for them. They do meaningful work (or hobbies) and play a linchpin role in their relationships. They also help me untangle my emotions and draw the right conclusions from my experiences. ENFJs are easy to talk to and warm.
  11. I agree with Racer Poet's advice, but I think it would be compelling embedded in a personal narrative. Did you used to be a manboy, and what were you like? What brought you to a moment of clarity? What was the period of introspection like? And now?
  12. I recently met another ENFP, and talking to her was kinda weird we're so similar. I'm concerned that I might start to judge her as harshly as I judge myself. There's probably some lesson in there about self acceptance, blah blah blah.
  13. Is it a good idea? What are the pros and cons?
  14. ISTP I do have a motorcycle license.