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About fsmo

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  1. I think in non-linear terms, abstract ideas that can be images sometimes. I have to force myself to think in words when trying to fit ideas into them to communicate. I've noticed that people with a sensing (S) preference tend to think in words, they like linear and concrete things like lists and examples. It's often a struggle for me to get ideas across accurately and it can take a long time. When I talk to people with an Intuitive (N) preference I have to do less translation when communicating my ideas and they understand more quickly.
  2. My best friend's husband is an ENTJ. We recently had a discussion about what's the same and different. The bottom line for what's different really comes down to we both like building systems but ENTJ's build systems of people (organizations) and INTJ's build technical systems. Social power vs technical knowledge and implementation. While the OP might like that we don't care what people think, the reason we're that way is because other people are not part of our system building process. We only get annoyed when they get in the way, otherwise we ignore them.
  3. Character Strength # 1 Judgment Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind. Character Strength # 2 Bravery You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions. Character Strength # 3 Creativity Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible. Character Strength # 4 Honesty You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person. Character Strength # 5 Perseverance You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.
  4. To say that INTJ's assume we're intelligent isn't really accurate. I think that several things contribute to that outward view though. 1. We know what we know well. People get put off by this as arrogance, but it isn't really that. It's primarily lack of social graces and full trust in logic processing and data gathering. If I know something well, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm intelligent but people may take my assuredness as that. 2. We get irritated with social niceties/requirements - Not because we're better than other people but because we deem it as superfluous and arbitrary. To others this can seem like we don't think they matter, like we're better than them. 3. We disregard emotional and social propriety arguments and we look down on people who use these things to make decisions. This can come off as we're acting superior or think we're more intelligent than others but again, that isn't really it. We simply trust in logic and can't see how others would be so misguided to not see that as the clear path. Ultimately I don't think I'm more intelligent than most but I do think I have a different set of strengths, which allows me to do things others can't. I also fail at things that many people consider trivial like small social interactions. So really we need to appreciate people for what they bring to the table. I've had to learn to do that, I'm married to an xSFP :)
  5. DIRECTOR/negotiator About Your Personality Type You are an analytical, focused and independent thinker with a deep interest in how the world works. You quickly grasp patterns and relationships and see the many sides of any complex issue. And when you focus on a particular business, social, personal or intellectual problem, you often come up with a novel solution. You are tough minded, skeptical and imaginative. You want to make an impact on the world. And with your aptitude for theoretical thinking, your investigative rigor, your logic and your determination, you are likely to win the honors your hard work deserves. Despite your need for independence and your resistance to any regulations or codes of conduct you find controlling, you make close friends. You like being with friends who provide stimulating conversation, as well as express their emotions and inner feelings. And you work to maintain these authentic connections. You are a complex person, outwardly assertive, logical, skeptical and focused, yet you can feel and express genuine sympathy for others. Director primary traits Decisive Focused Analytical Logical Competitive Self disciplined Independent Negotiator secondary traits Sees the big picture Imaginative Intuitive Verbal skills Empathetic Trusting Introspective In Love and Relationships As a Director, you tend to be loyal, uncomplaining and not possessive. You like individuals who want to play with abstract ideas and explore the complex ways the world works. You seek a "mind mate." Because you are often direct and bold, you unconsciously seek someone who is socially nuanced. Because you analyze your emotions, as well as hide them, you also like people who are emotionally expressive. Once you find someone who fits within your mental template of the ideal mate, you can dedicate yourself to this partnership. And once committed, you feel pledged to the union--often long before wedding. However, as you rarely follow rules or customs unless necessary, marriage is not as important to you as your personal vows. You work to sustain romance throughout a relationship, too. You give special gifts and celebrate special partnership events with flair and sensitivity. Relating to others You love knowledge so you engage your friends and family with rigorous, theoretical and broad discussions that can be highly entertaining and informative. And when you are interested, you can be a very sensitive and insightful companion. Things to be aware of You are susceptible to intense anger when you feel hurt, disappointed or frustrated. Your ambition can lead to workaholism. You can be impatient with chit chat and routine social engagements. Spark Factor You tend to naturally gravitate to NEGOTIATOR/directors.
  6. Actually we've been playing on the Project 1999 server recently http://www.project1999.org/ It's been fun. There have been like 600 to 800 people on the server when I log on. It's not a bad sized community for an emu server. We PUG'd a group in upper Guk last night. There was lively conversation and good exp, we had a blast :)
  7. Everquest Gnome / Enchanter is my favorite. I wish some new games would bring CC role back (and back to one class). Until then I'll be on the emulator servers (><) In other games Dwarf or Halfling or Gnome / Healer or Tank... Lately more tank than healer. DPS is boring....
  8. Ok how about a few observations about being an INTJ female from another about your age (I'm 2 years older). I've gotten a lot of feed back in my life that people perceive me as unapproachable (men and women). I think that it's a combination of my lack of ability to communicate with body language effectively and I don't talk very much to people I don't know (awful at small talk and I hate it for all the typical INTJ reasons). So admittedly it doesn't give people much to go on when they don't know me. My advice to you would be to pick up some books on body language. I'm about half way through, "The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Barbara Pease and Allan Pease. In some ways I'm irritated by the notions but then again I have gotten useful information from it. Though I haven't had a hard time with finding a SO in my life I do understand your frustration from social interactions. From your explanations it sounds like the primary difference is I do wear makeup and do my hair. "Getting ready" became my alone time a long time ago. I like having time to think about things before I have to deal with people. It helps me, recharge my introvert energy and prepare for the day. And unfortunately just like body language I think how you present yourself does matter. But it's only a starter. The person that wants to be with you long term won't care about those things. All that being said, I met my husband gaming online. You might try some form of online dating or gaming if you're so inclined. Having to use only words to express yourself gives INTJs an edge. No body language to mangle until they know you a little better.
  9. Dressing up and trying to look nice for a special occasion IS a sign of respect. Making an effort to look your best is a physical manifestation of you caring about making their day as special as possible. This isn't just about people judging you for what you're wearing, it's about your level of effort to support your friends. That being said you should do what you feel like doing. If you think your friends won't care then put your comfort first. As a female I like wearing suits to work. I usually wear dresses to special occasions... suits are much more comfortable than semi-formal dresses with heals. You could always try the dress and heals, then you'll be happy to go back to the suit :P
  10. You are not alone, I'm a female INTJ and I can't deal with gossip or drama. This tends to be females but some men do it as well. However, the guys don't seem to care as much if I don't partake in the BS. It seems like women for the most part, don't trust you if you don't gossip with them. It's like the old saying, "Don't trust someone that won't drink with you". It's insane... I avoid it as much as possible in a small office. Fortunately I've been there for 5 years and so most people don't try that crap with me anymore.
  11. Ignorance can only be bliss for those who don’t see their ignorance. My mind analyzes with relative ease. It's harder for me to stop thinking about things that it is for me to try to understand a thing. Not everyone works this way. Many people are fully caught up in whatever is in front of them at the time. I imagine it’s easier to just be happy with things in that case.
  12. 1. Femmy: That's the point, they aren't acting like stereotypical men for a reason. They're pushing against the social standard gender roles because of who they feel they are inside. Despite what we are told from a very early age we are not our gender roles, they are learned. Perhaps seeing people's individual strengths would help you pay less attention to whether or not they fit into the cookie cutter image that is approved by our culture. I'm not gay but I'm a woman in a typical man's occupation. My gender role says I shouldn't be interested in what I am, but here it is, and people dislike me because I don't conform to what they expect. I wear feminine cloths, I do my hair and makeup but this only seems to piss people off more. If I'm in IT I should be fat, ugly, and slightly masculine. Or since I'm not then I automatically must not know what I'm talking about. Gays are not the only ones trying to open people's mind to seeing individuals not gender roles. 2. Derogatory Names (serious): Are there any names that people have called you for not fitting perfectly into social or political standards? What use has this served for you? 3. Derogatory Names (joking): It seems to me that joking about derogatory terms is one step closer to forgetting as a culture that it was ever used to try to make people feel bad about who they are. 4. Sources: Hate for different types of people is taught. It's your choice to hold on to it or change your perspective. Challenging yourself to see people outside of what you expect them to be may help you to gain that perspective.
  13. I'm an only child so siblings weren't an issue. I hated school, just for the social bullshit. I didn't go much, I'd show up for tests and get better grades than those that were actually there all the time. Teachers mostly didn't pay attention to me. I wasn't disruptive or blatantly trying to mess with them so it wasn't an issue. My parents were pretty good at allowing me to ask why. They found that if I had a logical reason for something I didn't fight them at all. So I guess I'm lucky to have had the type of parents that for the most part supported critical thinking and just didn't try to pound me in to submission. As for work, I was self employed for the first 7 years of my working life. Then moved to IT, systems administration. It seems like if you produce good results, bosses leave you to do your thing because the last thing they want is you trying to actually tell them what's going on. I did have one boss that drove me crazy trying to micromanage me without understanding anything I do. That was a pretty awful experience. She didn't understand what I did so she couldn't understand I was delivering results and she was threatened by me trying to show her what I do. I'm pretty sure she was all feeling based. My attempts at showing logical measures of my work only pissed her off because she though I was talking down to her. It didn't go well, thankfully she was fired. I guess I've been pretty lucky for the most part. I do say the wrong things and piss people off obviously but I also produce results so I've mostly been able to keep doing what I'm doing and avoid drama.
  14. An ex of mine used to say frequently, "So logical you could just shit"... Most people don't like hearing logical arguments. They like following their "heart". It's more valuable than the mind somehow. I donno, it is what it is... our brains work differently. We can't make people think more logically and they can't make us think only with emotions. We'll always drive each other crazy if we try to make everyone like ourselves. Or we could just accept that we have different strengths. They can laugh at us as we blunder social situations and we can laugh at them as they miss the obvious outcome of the current "fun" they're having.
  15. I've never really given much weight to "authority". I found out not too long ago that's something many INTJ's have in common. I value logic and sound arguments. I don't give a fuck who's saying them if they have merit. This applies to all people, social status or no. If they are spewing shit and they ask me what I think, I'm going to tell them. As for my own authority, I live by the same rules I hold others to. If my logic is flawed and someone can show me that. I would probably be mad at myself for missing it but I wouldn't be mad at them for wounding my "authority". While some social structure is required to live in groups I hold no respect for the arbitrary posturing most people expect for those in power.