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About dala

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  1. Welcome. You're going to find the whole range of opinions on religion here, from young earth creationists to liberal atheists like yourself.
  2. I had severe migraines for years with no relief. Mine were caused by potatoes. I just don't eat them, anymore. It can be very difficult to figure out what your 'potatoes' are. I would suggest keeping a journal that includes things like what you eat and drink, how much sleep and exercise you get, and your stress level. Check that against when you get headaches, and maybe you find a trigger. One other thing is that it's important to get out in front of them. When you feel a headache coming on, that's when you find a quiet, dark place and take your medication. Stay there until there is not hint of any symptoms. This can prevent your headache from becoming severe, or even stop it completely.
  3. My bad, I guess I didn't read the rules. If I ever figure out how to upload an image I will be sure to add one.
  4. Chicken Pesto Soup: homemade chicken stock, chicken , great northern beans, spinach, carrots, celery, bell peppers, and a big jar of pesto. all you do is fry up the chicken with some of the pesto (you can fry the veggies, or just add them to the pot), and then add all the ingredients + the rest of the pesto to the stock. Simmer maybe 20 mins and you're done. Delicious and healthy.
  5. If in doubt, here is a phrase that can help: 'I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?' It's really that simple.
  6. Your friend who has gained a lot of weight already knows. Your friend knows you know. If you really want to help, don't say a word. Instead, invite your friend to do healthy activities with you that you believe they will enjoy. Anything else will just alienate or shame your friend.
  7. Mandatory, ongoing parenting classes combined with respite for parents and monitoring for abuse. This would prevent a huge amount of dysfunction in the next generation, and create a healthier society.
  8. People need to be able to make the choice that's right for them and their family. For instance, a person who intends to be a stay-at-home parent, with tons of family support and money to support their child is in a far better position to care for a child with Down's Syndrome than a single mother of two who already works two jobs. Likewise a person with a strong nurturing instinct versus a person with a weaker one. Maybe the plan is to relinquish custody to the state when the baby is born, which would almost certainly lead to significant suffering for a child with a severe disability. Maybe the existing children will suffer should a child with special needs is introduced. Maybe it will lead to mental health problems for the parents, as they resent their lost freedom. This is why I am personally pro-choice. These questions do not have right or wrong answers, and they certainly don't have one-size-fits-all answers. I, for one, do not condemn anyone for either the choice to abort a pregnancy, or the choice to bring it to term.
  9. A few years back I was prescribed Ativan and not warned of its addictive properties. I took it multiple times a day, and it made it so I could sleep and otherwise function, more or less. However, by the end of three weeks, I noticed a change in my though process. When I went to bed and couldn't fall asleep right away, my first thought was to take an Ativan. The second I felt symptoms flare up, my mind jumped to Ativan. So I Googled it, and found out the stuff is highly addictive and should only be used short-term. I did not have a 'spiritual malady' or a personal defect that drew me to this drug; I was slowly becoming physically dependent on it. I also did not require a 'higher power' to stop, I just needed to recognize what was happening, make a conscious decision, and work toward weaning myself off of this drug. That meant searching for the underlying cause of my symptoms (a combination of over-work, stress, and poor diet) and correcting those, so that I no longer had a need for the drug. It took more than six months to fully correct some of those, and several years for others. Likewise, if you're miserable without alcohol then you need to figure out why. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help to dig up those underlying causes, if they are not obvious to you now. Once you know, then it's a matter of fixing those underlying causes, which can be a long and challenging process. I wish you the best of luck in this.
  10. Utopia is impossible because different people's idea's of utopia are mutually exclusive.
  11. Corporal punishment is literally worse than doing nothing. It tends to result in immediate compliance (until the kid is big enough to fight back), but also causes the children to become mentally ill, violent, manipulative, and secretive, all while never actually helping the child internalize why a specific action is acceptable or unacceptable, Children need parents to set firm and age-appropriate boundaries for their children, explain clearly where those boundaries are and why they exist, and consistently enforce them through a combination of reminders, positive reinforcement, and removing the child from situations that they are incapable of managing. When the child is older, this includes negotiating when and how those boundaries expand. People who can't do this shouldn't be parents.
  12. The other day, my mom posted a link to a satirical article on Facebook as if it was true. I posted, telling her it was satire. She posted it again the next day, because apparently my telling her it was satire was not enough for her to either think about the issue or read a few other articles from the same site. And this is a situation where they were not deliberately trying to confuse people, and on a topic that was easily verified by a layman. If you wanted her to figure out if a science article is legit or not, she would have trouble. I'd say she is above average in intelligence and well-educated. Add in the fact that a lot of people are driven by ideology and uneducated, and you can see how even well-meaning pop science can be harmful, or at the very least misleading.
  13. If I tell someone I just want to be friends, then I am not interested in a relationship with that person. It's not that I can't change my mind, it's that I have already considered all of the possibilities by the time I say those words and the basic facts (my opinion on our compatibility and attraction, for instance) are unlikely to change.
  14. The problem is a lack of empathy. There are situations that people can (more or less) universally empathize with and understand because they are capable of seeing themselves in that same situation. Losing a family member to a tragic accident, for instance. People have a lot more trouble empathizing with situations that are outside their experience, and where they believe they would have acted differently. Most people have no problem empathizing with a woman who is violently attacked walking to her car, for instance, but feel that they would have acted differently than a woman at a university party who gets attacked while drunk in the company of strangers. There's not much you can do if a person lacks empathy for your situation. Education about different cultures and psychology certainly helps, but unless a person can experience what you do it is an uphill battle.
  15. Sure, It's all about developmental level. I negotiate with him about things like how many books I will read him. I reason with him about why he should not push his brother, but do not tolerate him doing it. I don't reason/negotiate with him about things like what we will do tomorrow (that's too far out for him to effectively conceptualize in a meaningful way) or how much chocolate he will eat on my watch (none). So far, he has always failed the 'marshmallow test.' Once he can pass that, I will know that he is ready to discuss more complicated topics.