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sea girl28

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About sea girl28

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  1. Dear fiancé, the date is approaching so fast, it makes me anxious just thinking about it. I hope you can understand this, it has nothing to do with us and it has everything to do with us *sighs* Things will change for ever after this and you know me and changes *rolls eyes* I am doing my best to deal with this the best I can but sometimes......just sometimes i feel like rolling on floor screaming (yes, I am exaggerating but you get the picture lol) You´re so understanding and you do everything to make it easier on me and damn I love you more and more for that! You´re the best I´ve ever had and I would hate myself for ever if I lose you, if I screw this up. I hope you can understand, that every time I get lost in my thoughts and you ask me what´s going on, you´re there, in my head, and all I am doing is to plan everything so carefuly, so you regret nothing. All I want, my sweet you, is to make you happy and it scares me to death just thinkng that I could fail. Please keep being your patient self and keep loving me the way you do, I need nothing more than that..... I need you. Here is my confession, I want this to happen, I want this to happen so bad it makes me anxious and it scares me just thinking I could screw something up. I love you and I need you in my life. Please don´t allow my insecurities to make you insecure, please understand that just because I am being my silly and insecure self it doesn´t mean I love you any less. Yours, A.
  2. Dear Ex (wow that sounds weird lol) Thank you for the best wishes, I am not sure if you mean it, but if you do then thank you. And you´re right I have never thanked you for what I have now but that is because I don´t think what I have now I have it thanks to you, sorry, but it´s true. You put me through hell (literally) and I still think it wasn´t necessary......but as you always say, it is what it is. If what you wanted was teaching me a lesson, well then, thank you for that, I have learnt, the hard way, but still. It was like you wanted to teach me how to swim by throwing me into the pool and then yelling "SWIM DAMN IT! SWIM!!" What I have now, I have it because I didn´t give up. I could have given up on love, on people, on trust, but I didn´t. What I have now I have it because the universe sent this amazing guy my way and he saved me from hell. What I have now I have it because I didn´t give up at being myself no matter what and no matter how many times you wanted me to believe there was something wrong with me. What I have now, I have it because I am strong enough to keep looking for my happiness and I finally found it, thanks to my determination and stubborness. You did the right thing though, I admit and thank you for that. Ending the relationship was the best for us. I don´t agree with the way it ended but well, you can´t always get what you want right? We were not meant to be and I was too stubborn to see it. I needed to keep trying once and again. I am sorry if I hurt you by doing that, by not realizing it was over just at the same time you did. I don´t know why you keep writing to me(I admit it was nice you didn´t call me "bitch" this time lol) I don´t even know why I am answering right now, maybe this is my way to let you know that I don´t hate you, because it´s true, I don´t. I did, for a little while, but then I realized it wasn´t the way I want to live my life. It was such a waste of time and energy and I set myself free from those feelings. We´ve had our good times, not everything was bad. But we know it was a toxic relationship so thank you for taking me out of all that. I wish you happiness and success too and I mean it. I want you to be happy and to be content with your life. Sorry our relationship didn´t work. Who knows, maybe one of these days, we´re going to be at peace. P.S Remember when I told you that I didn´t want you to think I was being clingy and demanding and you told me " if you don´t want me to think you´re clingy and demanding, stop acting cliny and demanding" remember that? well, if you don´t want people to think you´re a jerk, stop acting like one then. I finally see the logic in that advice =)
  3. Dear fiancé I don´t want to ruin the surprise over there so I will practice over here, because damn! I love the way it sounds! Sincerely, your INFJ loving oh so much the coming changes!
  4. Well, they talked about having children and they both agreed they wanted them, though the pregnancy was unexpected (they wanted to wait until after they moved to a different city due to his job) so it was a surprise for them when she got pregnant. She mentioned to him about counselling and she got a "we´ll see" as an answer, so, she has decided to stop talking about it for a while. She is affraid of him feeling pushed. She accepts and understands he needs some more time and she is willing to give it to him,I think she wants to know if there is still hope and they can try again in the future. He sounds determined. I feel really bad telling her that the only one option is to wait and wish for the best though I understand there is not other option at the moment.
  5. Thank you so much for all of your responses, you guys gave us so much to think about. My first impression was also that he was making an irrational decision and he needs some more time (a year seems to be a fair amount of time, I agree) but now I think counselling would be helpful too. My friend doesn´t want to push him, but she wants to know if there is still hope because she won´t forget about her needs either. She wants to listen to him the thing is he doesn´t want to talk about it anymore so, she doesn´t know how to approach to him in this matter without making him feel pushed or pressed. I also don´t think adoption is an option here, they both are healthy and my friend wants to get pregnant and go through the whole process, that is really important for her. Again thank you.
  6. Hello people, I need your help so I can help my friend.... Let me tell you the story. My ENFP friend has been in a relationship wih her INTJ boyfriend for a bit more than two years now. They are living together and even if sometimes the relationship has some ups and down it is a solid and loving couple. Last year, she got pregnant and they both were really happy about it. He was really excited and content, I have never seen him that way. And even if he was concerned about the future, he was focussed on her and the baby. Unfortunately, my friend lost the baby after 10 weeks or so. It was devastating for them both (as human beings but also as a couple) but they were able to sort the difficulties and move on. About 4 months ago my friend thought she was ready to try to get pregnant again (she really wants to be a mom, she wants kids, that is her dream). She talked about it with him but he tried to avoid the subject. She thought it was normal, maybe he wasn´t ready yet, so she decided to give him some more time. They had a few talks about it, she made it clear she wanted to try to get pregnant again and he said he needed to think about it. About a week ago, they discussed the subject once more and he said he doesn´t want to try again, nor now or never. My friend freaked and they´ve had an argument about it. A few days later he talked to her about this again and he made it clear he doesn´t want to have children. He said he thought about it and that he made a decision. He doesn´t want to go through what happened last time, it is not worth it and he is not willing to take the risk. My friend loves this guy and I know for sure that he loves her as well, but this seems to be a take it or leave it, kind of situation, my friend doesn´t wat to forget about her need to become a mom and he won´t change his mind about not wanting kids, apparently. Here is where we need your help guys, do you think there is a possibility for him to change his mind? does he just need more time? is it possible for an INTJ to change their mind when a decision is made? My friend doesn´t want to lose him but she also doesn´t want to forget about her needs. Any advice will be very much appreciated. Thank you so much in advance.
  7. My SO is a demi but I am not. He knows it and he is totally fine with it. Finding someone else attractive doesn´t mean I would "act" on it, that is not enough to get "involved". I need emotional connection and I find that only with my SO.
  8. I am sorry about your breakup. When my INTJ ex and I broke up (for the first time) I went back to him and asked him to try our relationship again. Then, when things ended (badly) I got blamed for it, even if I didn´t ask him, at "gunpoint" to come back with me si? I take my part in it, but it wasn´t All my fault. You ended your relationship for a reason in the first place, and maybe that reason is still there. Just remember that sometimes, loving each other is not enough. I have learned that the hardest way.
  9. "How do you tell people you're not interested in being friends without hurting their feelings?" Rejection hurts, always. So, I don´t think there is a way to reject someone's friendship without hurting them. You can avoid them and cut communication, but that hurts too and would make you feel uncomfortable every time you do it. What works better for me, is being upfront and honest. If I think a friendship between me and that person wouldn´t work, I would talk and let them know why. I would try to be polite and nice but honest. They would get the message and move on, eventually. Good luck =)
  10. Words of affirmation Quality time and Physical touch
  11. Due to my experience, I wish I would listen when someone said No (in the first place) and move on, instead of sticking with the idea of having a relationship and making it happen later. Saying thanks and moving on would have been the best choice then.
  12. First born here, my ex and my current SO are first born as well.
  13. My romantic relationship with a Fi user never went through the "frustating each other" stage. We never understood each other or our love language for that matter. He never knew how to meet my emotional needs (though he tried) and of course I feel like my efforts weren´t enough to meet his. I am dating an INFJ now and things come across naturally, we are in the same page all the time and we understand each other well. He has not problem in saying what he feels and I have not problem at understanding him.
  14. Based on MBTI only probably not. Based on "real" people yes, every person is unique. Based on past experience, No, I´ve been there and I suck at dating INTJs.