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Seablue

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About Seablue

  • Rank
    Core Member

Personality

  • MBTI
    INTJ
  • Enneagram
    5
  • Brain Dominance
    Balanced

Converted

  • Homepage
    https://intjforum.com/topic/155753-otterwatch/
  • Location
    France
  • Gender
  • Personal Text
    beauty the brave, the exemplary,
    blazing open
  1. I don't know, Ikso. You kinda consented to that when you opened your mouth, did you not?
  2. I don't spontaneously see it as rape, although I see it as a form of sexual abuse. That said I can't really justify this view. I think typically, we see consent as pretty black or white: if consent is given to penetration, then the "conditions" are seen as secondary. However it's not necessarily a good way to view things. In any case, don't get lost in considerations about how it's "too difficult to prove" or "too difficult to punish" or whatever. Those are NOT a reason not to make it illegal. People had the same objections to marital rape. It was useless because no one would be able to prove it + women might abuse the law omg! Well, nowadays we couldn't imagine it NOT being illegal (I hope anyway). It may be hard to prove, but some people do manage to get rapists convicted for it, and good for them ; fake reports are very rare ; the fact that it's illegal may have an effect on the mentalities or dissuade potential rapists.
  3. Lol, Ikso in the house to tell us that potential non-consensual impregnation or AIDS-spreading is like wearing make-up. Your participation in rape threads is always much appreciated. ...... added to this post 1 minute later: Except wearing a condom or not wearing one is something concrete, physical, that actually happened during a particular event of sexual intercourse. Not an hypothetical about the future.
  4. Craze, you are definitely right that this level of intensity was a red flag, as was the cuddling while you were drunk, and the "guilt tripping". And pressuring you to be sexual before you were comfortable is more than a red flag of potential abuse, it is already abusive. (Although not particularly original among 18years old unfortunately, but the fact that this is common doesn't make it okay.) As for "letting it happen" or "being played", it's difficult to resist pressure when you're trying, as you say, to be a nice person, or a nice girlfriend. Society sends us contradictory messages ; girls who have sex too fast are sluts, girls who refuse to have sex with their boyfriends are bitches and are basically abusing them, girls who are pressured for sex and give in are weak idiots, etc. Fuck this. You're not the one who did something morally wrong here. (Edit: I know there are some guys here who aren't too quick to get it, so I'll specify that what's wrong is lying to someone about your intentions, if this guy did it, and to pressure others for sex. Not to desire sex or to break up.) I'm sorry this happened, but the good news is, it's better to get rid of this sort of guy as fast as possible, rather than to have such a relationship deepen or last. My guess is that he wouldn't have ended the relationship if you had had sex with him, and would have grown more abusive, and that is the bad outcome here. In any case, congrats on putting your foot down and getting rid of him. As for recovering, there is no magic fix. Mostly just time, and hopefully better romantic experiences at some point. Understanding what happened should help, as will accepting that you will never exactly know or understand what went through his head and why he acted like this, but that requires time too.
  5. You can't cover all possible hypothetical situations that could arise over the course of a lifetime with your partner. You can just trust that your values and priorities fit well enough and that you know how to communicate.
  6. I have to agree that some photograph that is less blurry and where the colors aren't altered would be nice. Your avatar seems better than the version where everything is blue for instance. Same for the one with the red hair. I like red hair, but unfortunately it might get you negative attention (what with the red haired feminist who has been harassed by assholes online for years). Maybe a bit paranoid on my part though.
  7. Your link: Definitions of whiteness in the United States Like Scorpiomover said, you may classify them this way in the US, but no one does in Europe for instance.
  8. That's not something I've ever heard or read, or if I did I don't remember it. So wiki says that the expression describes a masterful, violent and surprising blow, and that over the centuries it took on a connotation of being a disloyal blow, a connotation which didn't exist initially. (And then there's the literal sense that you mentioned, of a strike to the back of the knee.) But you're unlikely to find a French person who ever uses that expression.
  9. Disagree. Better to project a multi-faceted image of yourself, and the HP reference goes in that direction.
  10. Unless you have some specific reason to be worried about your privacy (I would have worried if I had had a dating profile active while I was a teacher, for instance) I think you should upload a picture. If you don't, people might judge you negatively for it, thinking you are a fake, worrying about not being attracted to you, imagining that you have to be super ugly to be afraid of uploading a pic, etc. Of course I felt a bit awkward putting pics of myself out there but I felt that it was necessary and more honest.
  11. Ta, because réponse is feminine. Sorry Funny. Yeah, chou means cabbage but nothing to do with chouette. I don't think there's an easy way to get them, no :/ Maybe shortcuts but they're putain de complicated. ...... added to this post 0 minutes later: NooOooOOooo ...... added to this post 0 minutes later: Noted
  12. Aaw ^^ Vachement chouette does translate as "very cool". (Avoid "très cul", as "cool" is an English word that the French word use as it is, and "cul" means "ass".) I imagine that when you mention a ridiculous translation, you mean the idea that "vachement chouette" could be translated as "cowly owl" or "cow like owl" as Swamp put it. While it's an amusing thing to think about, it's not actually a translation. "Chouette" can mean "owl" but it also means "neat, great", and just like with any homonym we don't actually think about one meaning when using the other one. (Etymologically, chouette as the animal as a different root than chouette as an adjective/interjection.) And "vachement" is a slang word for "very". It's derived from vache (cow) but that's not something people think about when they use the word. So the translation really just is "very neat" or "very cool" or whatever. It's not very commonly used ("cool" is certainly more common now), but it is still used. I don't know what the teacher's beef with it was exactly... Maybe he found it too familiar for the context of the class, although it's certainly not vulgar. Sacrebleu is very old fashioned and indeed not something people would actually say, unless they make a conscious effort to use "dead" words. Sapristi or Saperlipopette are other funny interjections that nobody uses. ...... added to this post 1 minute later: yeees I also grant my stamp of approval to this sentence, since it uses the before Cirque ...... added to this post 4 minutes later: I dunno how the Québecois would spell it, but I would say "osti" should be spelled "hostie". And yes, the "h" and the "e" are both silent letters. Also, not that I want to disrespect Québec people, but I'd just like to clarify that they speak very, very different from French people in France, be it the vocabulary or the accent. The way they talk can leave a French person pissing themselves from laughter and/or incapable of understanding what's being said.
  13. Tabarnak is correctly spelled as tabernacle though. Québec people
  14. Vagina, ae (there should be accents but whatever) is feminine.