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jerdol

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About jerdol

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  • MBTI
    INTJ
  1. I am currently student-teaching in an alternative certification program; I am becoming a secondary school math teacher. The most important thing to do right now will be to gain expertise in the area you want to teach. So learn literature, learn English, and make yourself a great writer who is very knowledgeable. A major in a subject like this is what I'd recommend. (I majored in math and philosophy, and took nothing related to education in my undergrad years.) Second, try to tutor in a writing center or the like. Skill in formally breaking down essays will be invaluable, and it's a great on a resumé as well. Third, look for electives that will help you as a teacher. Public speaking, education/pedagogy, even developmental psychology classes will be very useful. Fourth, if you have an idea of where you'll be living, take a look at its teacher requirements on a department of education website or the like. That should help you in crafting a long-term plan. Hope that helps!
  2. The family of characteristics that form the label "ideological" includes, I believe, such things as having strong opinions about ethical issues, being willing to act on these opinions, and shaping one's life to an above-average extent around those opinions. However, it also includes the characteristics of being emotionally moved by ethical issues and being passionate in speech and action with regard to ethical issues. The fact that those two groups of categories are given the same term suggests people associate them together. I wonder to what extent they correlate. That is, how common is it for people to be ideological without being passionate or emotional about their ideology? For me, anyway, they do not coincide: I consider myself to have the former characteristics but not the latter. That is, I consider it important to be ethical, and I devote a substantial amount of time and effort to this ideology (in particular, I donate platelets bi-weekly and nag friends to do likewise). But I do this without passion. To me ethical action is not an emotional decision, but a logical one; to act in accordance with my ideology is part of making correct decisions. The fact that I do not get emotional about the cancer patient or the beggar on the street makes me seem to others (rightly?) to be cold, and I think to them this might contradict the claim that I am an ideological person. I wonder if my form of ideology bears the markings of a distinctly "NT" brand of ideology, with more conventional passionate ideology being NF in nature. Perhaps that's a stretch, however.
  3. The situation: I met her at a social gathering at a friend's house. I didn't talk to her much there, but she caught my eye from the start (demeanor-wise). It ended late, and we were among a group of four that live in the same neighborhood and thus shared a subway. I talked to her a fair amount during that travel and became gradually infatuated. From the subway I walked her home, and she said something like she was sorry about being rude, but she was tired and was just going to go in and sleep. I said (in a joking manner) I didn't see how that was rude and that it was perfectly understandable, and wished her a good night. I was elated. A few days later, I friended her on facebook, and she accepted. A few days later, I sent her a message saying that she was a fantastic artist, specifically mentioning her cover photo (art that she made). This was partially to open the door to a response inviting further conversation, which might indicate reciprocal interest. Her response (within a minute): "thanks" That was three weeks ago. Since then, my schedule has been extremely hectic, and I believe hers has been as well. A week ago, I saw her at a different social event at the same friend's house. She left relatively early, and I didn't get a chance to speak to her at all. She is definitely IN, and I strongly lean toward her being INFJ. I don't have a phone number or any way of seeing her in person, which means that I can only contact her via facebook. Naturally I don't want to appear creepy or turn her off with my approach, but I am bad at reading signs and at facebook etiquette. On the other hand, I definitely want to initiate conversation with her in some way, since I want to become less shy around women in whom I'm interested and I have little risk because she's not actually a friend of mine (though she knows several good friends of mine). I should note that in my life I have only asked out three women, all of whom were already good friends of mine, so this would be a new venture. How would you assess the situation, and would would you recommend? Thanks in advance!
  4. I started a while ago; I enjoy the precision of the term, and of course the fact that it de-familiarizes what I say. At some point I started getting tired of it, though, so I've largely moved on to using "mortals" in appropriate contexts.
  5. A: Because we (the projective "we") get lonely. Q: Is friendship not sufficient? A: No, it is not. It lacks the intimacy, accessibility, and familiarity. As long as someone else has his/her own life, there will always be a slight distance to the sharing. Only a joint life between people has enough overlap to unleash the powerful loneliness-reducers. Thought experiment: Observe old married couples, who have been together for decades. How well they know each other. How helpful they are to each other. How whenever one of them needs something, he/she can count on the other. Q: Why relationships? Why not intimate clans? A: "Relationship" by itself does not necessarily imply a pair, as you would have known were you not a straw man. A clan of people could indeed form a large relationship, though such things are rare. The degree of life-sharing and intimacy is cumbersome with more than a few people. Example: Having a single child often puts a great strain on heteronormative marriages, because each spouse's attention is now divided between the partner and the child, whereas beforehand the live-in attention was exclusively toward the other.
  6. I personally don't understand dating someone whom you know in advance you won't marry. Be friends, sure; have fun, definitely; sex, if you're into that; but my view of dating — of an emotional romantic relationship — is that it's meant to be indefinite and to evolve if successful into a lifelong relationship (I won't say marriage because alternative lifestyles are increasingly common). I, for one, am an Orthodox Jew, and so I will not even consider dating someone who is not also Jewish. The same goes for non-observant Jews (the lifestyle differences are too vast for a marriage to ever work), and the odds are set against any Jew who does not fall into a narrow lifestyle of "Modern Orthodox" (i.e. observant Conservative or Ultra-Orthodox Jews are not off the table, but not particularly likely).
  7. I have a fraternal twin brother. INFP (I guessed it long before I got him to take the test). We're quite close, to the extent that we sat next to each other throughout high-school. We live in different cities, but we still see each other every few weekends. Strangely, though I'm only three minutes older than him, there's a very strong big-brother/little-brother dynamic. I'm bossy and belligerent toward him. It's as though the twin intimacy has allowed me to be somewhat ENTJ with regards to him. Of course, the fact that he's extremely forgetful, irresponsible, and incapable of dealing with the world without advice is also a big part of it. I think having a twin brother allowed me to be more comfortably introverted with the rest of the world. We could get our socialization from each other and design our own personal world growing up.
  8. OP, based on projecting my personality onto him (and INTJs differ enough from each other that this is a very unreliable method) I infer the following: 1) He is not being dishonest with his statements. If he thinks you're ugly, he won't say "You are beautiful." 2) He is not a fan of generic compliments. He knew you liked him before you said so, and he assumes you know he likes you. The whole exchange is a waste of breath. 3) He considers a rote response to your compliment to be the best. Consider some alternatives: 3.1) Simply saying something like "Thanks." Sounds unappreciative, and as though he doesn't reciprocate. 3.2) Responding with a different compliment. It's fake, contrived, and lacks sincerity. 3.3) Responding "I know, and you know that I reciprocate. That was a pointless thing to say. Let's talk about something more interesting." Most people are not looking for INTJ honesty and are offended when it creeps out. My advice: If you have something to say that is new or adds information, say it to him. If you repeat a generic compliment he's not going to know what to make of it, and will respond with similar platitudes so as not to annoy you. Compare: A stranger walks up to you and says "Your eyes are blue." A good INTJ response would be "Thanks. Yours are brown." Out of curiosity, how would you prefer he respond?
  9. Budhist, shmudhist. This is Berkeley's philosophy; to be is to be perceived. I would recommend reading the entirety of his book (only about 60 pages), which is one of the best written books in philosophical theory and goes over many of the objections and potential problems with his theory. Alternatively, read wiki on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Treatise_Concerning_the_Principles_of_Human_Knowledge I personally consider it to be one of the most interesting theories in metaphysics, although it's easily parodied by the feeble-minded.
  10. As I understand it, extraverted feeling does not deal with "your feelings," as an Fi-preferrer would understand it. Rather, as you note it deals with collective ideals, societal norms, etc. An Fe-preferrer will want to know such norms and will strive to act upon them. This is the essence of being Fe-preferring, and I think the advantages are clear as well as the disadvantages (though iconoclastic types such as ours tend to emphasize the latter). What is key to realize is that there is not the same type of internalizing of feelings. To use a rather odd example, take the norm of not wearing white after labor day. An Fe-preferrer who knows the norm may insist on not wearing white after labor day and will flatly tell you that to wear white after labor day is "wrong." This does NOT mean that the person feels it's wrong the same way you would if you say that murdering blades of grass are wrong. That person's judgment is an expression of a collective norm, not an expression of conscience.
  11. Extrovert. After years of having an introvert as my fantasy ideal but for some reason always being attracted to extroverts, I believe I managed to discover my rationale via introspection: they're fun. When I get into deep ideas mode I often want to be alone anyway, to explore my obsessions etc. alone. What I'm looking for in an SO is someone to whom to brain-dump, someone with whom I enjoy spending time, someone who can ameliorate the feelings of loneliness during post-obsession burnout. It is around extroverts, usually, that I feel comfortable, that I have pleasure, that I don't pretty soon start looking at my watch and wondering what else I could do. It took me a long time to start looking at things this way, because the parts of my life that would be greatly enhanced by such an SO are among the least important parts of it. But I eventually realized that NOBODY is getting into the important parts. I'm too independent, too inside my head while developing ideas, for anyone to be able to fully share it. And when I feel lonely it's not for a "research partner," it's for someone with whom to hang out when I'm in a social mood. Extroverts are ideal for that.
  12. I'll pick a person to fit the problem I have: it needs to be someone sufficiently distant from the tension. I'm blessed with a handful of friends, however, so I can usually find someone if I need advice or venting. Otherwise I'll just bottle it in, and rarely I'll confide (anonymously) here.
  13. I have a good friend who is an ISFP and who is rather in love with me. By this I mean she's asked me out twice in the past and maintains a rather clingy friendship. I can't help much in evaluating how she sees me, though, because honestly I have no idea what she sees in me: I definitely do not endorse the easily-excited chase-butterflies aspects of her personality.
  14. I don't feel that way. I KNOW it. Damn straight no one knows the real me — it would shock them and it's none of their business. I'm too dark for people to face unfiltered.
  15. Like others have said, we do something quite similar to testing, but not quite. I used to think I liked testing people, but I've since relabeled it. I like getting people's perspectives on things and seeing how they react. Sometimes I'll deliberately put someone on the spot with a non sequitur question or I'll bring up a slightly inappropriate subject to see how the person handles the shift in conversation. It's not a test, though, because there's no right or wrong answer. Rather, I simply want to gather data — either about the person, or about the subject matter from the person's perspective, or — most commonly — both. To use a random example, in a conversation with my (somewhat conservative) mother today I steered the conversation slowly toward the topic of BDSM, and expressed that I thought it was maligned in popular culture as reflecting abuse or some such when in fact it was merely a different lifestyle choice. I did this not to test her but to get her reaction to the subject. Therefore, regarding the situation mentioned, I agree that he's definitely seeking your input. He wants your opinion, and he wants your aid in arriving at a decision. Note that he is likely to already have thought of several pros and cons, and because we thrive on rigorous logic he is likely to respond to your opinion with bringing up the arguments for the other side. This is not to attack you; it's to make sure you're aware of all the data of the dilemma, so that you can aid in the decision-making.