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PurpleGiraffe

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About PurpleGiraffe

  • Rank
    Member

Personality

  • MBTI
    INTJ
  • Enneagram
    5w6 so/sp/sx
  • Global 5/SLOAN
    RCOAI
  • Astrology Sign
    Capricorn
  • Brain Dominance
    4

Converted

  • Biography
    I walk around with my head held high, while enjoying the sun on my back and leaves from tall trees.
  • Location
    USA
  • Interests
    Being awesome
  • Gender
    Female
  1. The point is that after age 30 you lose friends faster than you make them. So by being in a relationship or married to the right person you get to live out your life with your best friend who you also find sexy. You have a built-in partner in crime who knows you better than anyone and accepts you for who you are, who can brighten the day-to-day activities of your life. But none of this works if you don't find the right person for you and you aren't living your life as the right version of yourself. If these stipulations aren't met then there really isn't much of a point to being in a relationship.
  2. I'm less concerned that he hasn't been texting back and more that you've given him several chances to spend more time with you, and he has not taken you up on them nor appeared to plan other times to do so. As mentioned by other posters, even as an INTJ, I will respond to all texts early on if I like that person. I will also go out of my way to spend more time with her, so not making that effort is a pretty clear sign, I think.
  3. Assuming you both share similar values, have similar wants and needs, are reasonably healthy and mature, and both care about each other, then I think pretty much any relationship can work. Sure, this one will be different from your previous relationships, but there is even a decent amount of variation between individuals of the same Myers-Briggs type, so no two relationships you might have will be exactly the same. I would like to iterate that in general ENFPs do appreciate space and quiet, but you might not start to fall into the rhythm of their wanting it until awhile in the relationship. This is, in part, I think, because if they like you they want to try to know *everything* they can about you. So, just be yourself and worry about talking too much or not giving enough space when they are showing indications that they need the space. Sidebar: I don't buy the whole "NT/NF death spiral" stuff. Things either end or they don't, and sometimes they fail for reasons unrelated to personality type. Just spend time with this ENFP, be yourself, and have fun.
  4. Did your husband even want kids? I wonder if he enjoyed the life as he had it (easy-going and uninhibited to an extent) and blames you for his being tethered rather than blaming himself. But I am just arm-chair theorizing. I don't blame you for being angry. I would be angry too. Rather than going into raising a child with who you thought he was - an adult who loves you - you were presented with a man who acts like a child and shows disdain for you. The respect is gone here from both sides and either you both need to find a way to get that back or you need to throw in the towel, because so goes respect, so goes the marriage.
  5. If someone (especially an INTJ) tells you something, listen. Either he isn't capable of it (love) or he needs so much time and energy that it will leave you sad, exhausted, and bitter in the end. You only have so much time in your life, and the amount of time you spend on someone who doesn't (or can't) love you is time you can't devote to finding someone who will or can. You deserve better.
  6. Pretty much exactly this. There is a lot about the healthy, mature INFJ that can make for a great partner. I'd also like to add: -Makes me laugh -Shares my values -Awesome kisser -Often surprises me with homemade baked goods -Can sometimes know my feelings even before I do -Very perceptive / smart and seemingly endless interest in in-depth conversations -Would hypothetically walk 500 miles if it meant I would be happy (not that I'd want her to do that but still) -The list really does go on and on...
  7. Hey, random, but I think I remember you from enfpforum. My username was BirdsallSa there. Just wanted to say hi! *And if I am remembering incorrectly, my apologies as this is undoubtedly awkward.

  8. Been married to a (tested) INFJ for about 8 months now, and it has been wonderful (together for 2+ years). We both love and appreciate learning. We don't often fight, but when we do it is civil and full of respect. We tend to come to the same viewpoints but sometimes have different ways of getting there. She is not the best at sharing the minutia of her life and I am not the best at sharing moments where I feel vulnerable, but we both have the self-awareness to realize our shortcomings and employ humor to help deal with them in non-threatening ways. She makes me laugh (a lot) and we can spend days together and still wish we could have more. We also can give each other space, as needed, and trust the other with the gift. So, in summary, separately in life we make for good individuals but together we make for a great team.
  9. Why would you get/choose (I'm assuming you chose) a new roommate that you want to seduce? Isn't that covered in, like, Apartment Sharing 101?
  10. Yes and no. You can't start a fire without a spark, but you can burn out a fire by growing it too large. Sometimes the kindling is too wet and a fire won't start. Sometimes the kindling is too dry and starting an inferno might be no trouble at all. But to answer your last question, love without chemistry borders on Duty, which to me, anyway, makes it very important.
  11. Given humanity's failure-rate with "truths," and my inability to live forever to see if I'm ultimately proven right or wrong with anything I think and believe, I'm going to say, there is a 99% chance I am wrong at most, if not all, of the crap that spews out of my mouth (that isn't subjective, but even then those views are tainted by my environment - but wow, I am getting off topic...); therefore, you might want to get used to admitting you're wrong (or at least not completely right) much of the time. So, to take a page out of another Myers-Briggs-type: "Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow you shall be dead." :)
  12. Wow. From that letter, he sounds like a "keeper." It is a trick question to ask "heart versus brain" because all of it comes from your noggin. He sounds like a nice guy and you realize that, and that's where part of the problem comes from (and maybe you also feel a little debt for helping you get away?). You say you want different things, and perhaps that's true, but I would ask myself one thing if I were you: what scares or bothers me about the second dog and the shared house and this seemingly nice guy? Is it the extra responsibility or perhaps the extra vulnerability of more things (or both)? I ask because a lot of times after trauma people want to avoid things that trigger any similar feelings, but we all have to take both sides - the good and the bad, because we can't respect, understand, or truly feel the good without the bad. So, yeah, break up if you don't feel compatible but if it is something else, you might want to look into it.
  13. I am a female gay INTJ married to female gay INFJ. Maybe it is just an IN thing because I have met a lot of gay (or at least fluid) INs. Or my circles are somehow self-selecting, so I just typically meet more Intuitive Introverts... :)
  14. Hey! Sorry for taking forever (many a month) to respond to your message (from December). It's been a crazy (and good) past few months. Hope you have been doing well! :)

  15. Been awhile since I've seen you around. Good to have you contributing again. Congrats on the recent marriage!