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About Fishism

  • Rank
    Veteran Member


  • MBTI
  • Enneagram
    Type 5
  • Global 5/SLOAN


  • Location
    Nova Scotia, Canada
  • Occupation
    Business Owner
  • Interests
    Everything...just some things more than others.
  • Gender
  1. Ha! Amen! The confrontation about this "feeling" is going to happen. So, I'm going to need some statistics to support it when I begin that "We need to talk" discussion. The first 5 minutes after I present my case will give me all the confirmation I need.
  2. My level of serious is directly related to the level of intended intimacy. If I'm dating someone I foresee exclusivity or commitment with, I will hide nothing and answer every question openly and honestly. I will gladly sink with that ship because my seriousness and brutal honestly are inevitably coming out anyway. There is no point in delaying. Mind you, serious stuff only comes out as answers. I won't offer it up unless requested. I'm very comfortable being this way because being myself, skeletons and all, is the goal. To others, where I know my connection will be limited intimacy/connection-wise, they'll get nothing because it's pointless.
  3. I use MBTI as a very "loose foundation" for dealing with people in all of the relationships in my life, be them professional, social or romantic. Since I discovered it, my success rate in typing people who have been willing to confirm by taking the test is around 75%. That tells me that yes, the generalities presented in MBTI are useful in reading people. But reading people is not predicting behavior. To me, predicting is borderline impossible. People of all types are flat out random and there are too many layers to sort through or simplify.
  4. You are "seeing each other". Maybe? *shrug*
  5. Harvey Specter on "Suits" has an awesome office. It's large, nice desk, ample furniture, high quality alcohol, a turntable complete with a substantial collection of vinyl, sports memorabilia scattered about and it's a corner office with an amazing view. Of course, he also has Donna right outside, who, although she is just as fictional as Harvey, is excellent at keeping his shit organized. I would keep the large windows facing outside but make the door and walls facing the rest of the location solid for privacy purposes and I'm not sure if it has its own private bathroom, but that would be sweet as well.
  6. For me, I just do the objective thing and say "if you don't go out, they're going to stop inviting and you need at least some kind of social life you damn hermit". Then I go, usually have a good time and if I'm not, because I at least went, I feel it's OK to leave early and get back to my man cave.
  7. You are not wrong by assuming it's a lot of work. It's why many dogs get left at shelters. It's the reason why I have my dog today. The previous owner "couldn't handle" his high energy and need for exercise. Fortunately for my dog, I had the time, proper geography and desire for a dog of his tireless personality to provide him with the best kind of environment for him to be himself. Choosing the right breed and temperament that matches your schedule, home situation and family is substantially more important than whether it's cute or not. I second this. There are many dogs in shelters that are only there because the life circumstances of their owners have changed to the point where they simply can no longer care for a dog and not because of behavioral problems with the dog itself. They really just need a place to call home, a pack (family) to be a part of and a routine. They'll be happy to have the job of barking at strangers provided they get adequate affection, attention and stimulation. Oh and there's also many "Doggy DayCares" around for days when one needs a break from pet ownership responsibility. They'll even do sleepovers. It gives dogs opportunities to socialize which helps with their anxiety and tires them out. I dropped mine off just this morning. In 9 hours, I will pick him up and he will eat his supper and sleep for 12 hours. A tired dog is a happy dog.
  8. I've given up on "normal" a long time ago, alcohol or not. I'm an anxious, intense, cerebral, overthinking kind of dude and my days consist of the hamster on the wheel in my brain running his ass off. As alcohol is a depressant, if I have the right amount, it simply slows that poor critter down to a comfortable jog. I find it deadens my seriousness while amplifying the things one does when relaxed: deep breathing, smiling, laughing, thinking about funny things instead of problem solving things. I focus on different details when intoxicated....fun details. It doesn't instantly give me social skills. I always have those. Also, I'm fairly certain that I'm not really sleeping when I pass out after a night of drinking, but wherever I go for those few hours of unconsciousness is pretty awesome. The fact that my father is an alcoholic is the only thing that stops me from doing this every day. I won't allow myself to live that life. I have a "no drinking on school nights" rule that restricts my alcohol consumption only to the weekends and usually it's only one of the weekend nights. I'm an audiophile and music junkie and I have a listening room with a substantial system, and although music is great to me all the time, it gets even better when I've had a few drinks. Once again, I believe the alcohol changes my focus to different details in the music. Keeping with a music analogy, I find that alcohol is like moving the sliding scales on a graphic equalizer or a soundboard. During my sober days, I'm set at purely acceptable and consistent levels. After a few drinks, I can start sliding those knobs around and come up with different levels of bass and treble and emphasize the different instruments of the orchestra of my brain.
  9. All I have to say is that music would be so fucking boring if songwriters weren't pissed off, bitter, brokenhearted angry and decided to be as completely politically correct about every topic they want to sing about. Screw that Disneyland nonsense. Go ahead Red Ed, write about whatever the hell you want. It's an On Demand world and if the SJW's don't like it because they've decided that you're a whiny, beta, misogynist, they can click that ->> button and find something comforting by Alvin and the Chipmunks.
  10. I agree. For puzzle solvers, there's nothing more puzzling than the typical relationship or gender interaction. I say let the confusion and wild ideas flow.....it's refreshing as well to see subjects where there's nothing to cite. haha...yes, we're all aware of the divorce rate and how castles of marriage crumble. Imagine if we knew the "non-marriage, exclusive relationship failure rate". People all around the world, of many personality types and walks of life fuck this up on the regular. This forum could not possibly be any different. I see no issue with sorting through this pile of blood and guts.
  11. I remember it very well. Mostly because it feels like my happiness peaked in High School. I was a teenager in a suburb that was growing faster than the school system could keep up with, so my community was teeming with teens to the extent that we had to go on split shifts for 2 years in my school. We were either there very early in the mornings or didn't show up until noon depending on what shift we were on. Of course, these schedules wreaked havoc with parents because it meant teenagers were often home alone in the mornings or at home for long stretches in the afternoons. This created a situation of many "social opportunities". I have vivid memories of the fashions, the dances, the varsity baseball and basketball teams I was on and their road trips. I remember the "Breakfast Club"-like cliques and as it was the late 80's, we were all still outside doing many group activities. So many of my classmates, with whom I converse with during our reunions or when I see them locally, and there are a lot of them who stuck around, all seem to convey a dream-like happiness to our high school and bemoan the fact that our suburb has gone in the opposite direction with a declining presence of youth and school closings. I can still visualize my lockers, the bathrooms, the cafeteria and especially the place where I used to park my motorcycle....even if it was almost 30 years ago.
  12. I cheated once when I was 20 and the guilt overwhelmed me so I vowed to never do it again and I haven't in the 27 years since. However, I've been cheated on multiple times on my meandering journey of serial long term relationships and I can honestly say it's never the sex that sends me into rages of disappointment, it's the flat out breaking of the simplest vow. If you can't commit to me, don't commit to me! I'm a modern, open minded, experienced dude. I can talk about an open relationship, I might even allow one or two "free passes" if my SO is completely honest with me. But lie to me? Nah....there's simply no need to lie to a robot. I don't need someone I can't trust....especially at this point in my life.
  13. I'm quiet because I'm concentrating. Trust me, no one wants to hear my inner monologue at this time.
  14. IMHO, if I was your boyfriend in this situation, I would want something that shows that you know me. It doesn't have to be expensive or big, just that you're aware of my personal interests and passions and want to add something to them, especially since you know that when we're apart I will be engaging in those interests and passions. That's the practical part. You know it's something I do and that I love to do. The note attached to this gift, is the romantic part, which pretty much says exactly why you want to give this gift. You could even recite what you've said in your post and I would feel great. These words would be music to my ears.
  15. The bold sums up my personal experience in my long term relationship with an INFJ. You can calmly be reliable and patient and talk things through as eloquently as you possibly can, but at the end of the day, you're still trying to convince someone using facts that a "feeling" is unwarranted, which is borderline impossible. Just as INTJ's can be frequently guilty of confirmation bias, where we get a theory and then focus more on seeking data to prove it versus disprove it, the INFJ is often guilty of the same thing, as they seek and guide interactions to support an initial feeling that comes from trended feelings, in this case, her troubled childhood. INTJ objectivity, detachment and logic can occasionally allow us to be sufficiently convinced of our confirmation bias. Those things don't happen with the INFJ. The only thing that works is reliable, repeated and consistent behavior to wear down that unassailable wall of emotionally created bias. In my case, I lost patience, grew very tired of pissing against the wind and completely shut down. I was both not surprised and relieved when she walked. Life is too short to be constantly walking on eggshells. Reading this thread made me so uncomfortable that I wanted to pack up and leave it.