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About Fishism

  • Rank
    Veteran Member


  • MBTI
  • Enneagram
    Type 5
  • Global 5/SLOAN


  • Location
    Nova Scotia, Canada
  • Occupation
    Business Owner
  • Interests
    Everything...just some things more than others.
  • Gender
  1. Thanks for that! It was awesome! Oh how I miss Maddux. I'm already prepping for my draft and deciding on my keepers.
  2. The typical INTJ Valentine's Day Card: "Be my Valentine because...... You're a statistical anomaly"
  3. No, I don't believe INTJ's fall in love quickly. I do believe they're very apt at recognizing a connection very quickly. Robots walking around using the scientific method of analysis for just about everything are very good at sleeping through life's "rules" and then perking up at a recognized "exception". We will fall in lust, or intrigue, very quickly as we experience the energy of a "there's something different going on here". Even our uncertainly and trepidation has amazing focus. "Why does this person make me sweat? I must investigate!!!"
  4. No, I'm not romantic and I don't value ooey gooey love like how it's represented in films. How a connection is communicated between two people is relationship-specific. If I'm doing something traditional, like flowers, or chocolates, or an impromptu dinner date, it's probably more out of obligation than actually being genuine. I prefer more intimate and personal displays of affection over what's been done a million times by others.
  5. Yes......on a regular basis. My biology and my brain absolutely cannot stand each other. The devil and the angel each occupying their spot on my shoulders heaving insults at each other. I spend countless brain calories convincing myself out of one thing and trying to convince myself into another. I'm actually doing this thing at this very moment. I'm spending time with someone completely bad for me. She ties me in knots.
  6. This.....having been personally hospitalized by a jealous significant other, I have learned my lesson. "Jealous Rage" is a thing. (In my defense she said it was over. I didn't really believe her but I did it anyway....it wasn't over)
  7. It is a "taken in hand" situation where the Dominant has complete control over the Submissive in all areas, not just the bedroom. The Dominant will control how the Submissive dresses, who they communicate with, if and where they work. It's heaven for the control-freak. It is generally male-led. http://wikibin.org/articles/taken-in-hand.html I first heard of it a few years ago when a couple was pointed out to me at a club and because the woman was standing two steps behind the man, I was told that he had "taken her in hand". For the next half hour, I was googling like crazy. Interesting stuff.
  8. Historically, I'm instantly attracted to physically appealing extroverts that show an interest in me. In my head, it's like "Wow, this pretty girl is really interested in my ideas and since that's so rare, I'm going to bombard her with them!" It's like an exhibitionism kind of thing where I willingly undress my brain on command and let all of my weirdness hang out on display. If my personality and thoughts are received well, I'm almost smitten before I even start asking my own questions to find out if there is any substance of personality to have attraction reciprocated. Of course, after my fragile ego is sufficiently boosted and she's finished asking all of her questions, then I start in with mine. Usually my "Judgy Judgerson" logic kicks in and I start over analyzing everything she says until I've killed any chemistry intended by Mother Nature. But, I sure am weak for those attractive, confident extroverts that want to toy with me.
  9. I won't speak for all men. But for the men in my immediate surroundings, including my brothers, I will say that wanting sex is a default setting, the "base model" if you will, but when they're smitten and a relationship becomes more than the physical, then, yes, they want to be loved and to love and the priorities can change quickly and substantially.
  10. I totally agree with this analysis. I'm a Patriots fan and I sat there quietly watching the comeback thinking there was no way it was possible. Then, after Julio Jones made that amazing catch at the 22, I hung my head and thought "here comes 3 running plays, taking two minutes off the clock, forcing Bill to think about using timeouts and then a FG to make it a two score game. It's over". A desperation sack and an offensive holding call and out of FG range they go. My friend, who hates the Patriots with fervor, was like "Here you go 49'ers. Here's your next head coach! Nice play calling Shanahan!" I got a real kick out of everyone showing me pictures of Brady trying to tackle Alford on the INT return or all of the tweets about Brady sucking when it was 28-3 and I was despondent. I thoroughly enjoyed rubbing it in their face when it was over.
  11. Although I do not believe he's depressed, the quoted is solid advice. Your fellow INFP is completely correct in the suggestion that loyalty is very important to an INTJ if you dangle it in front of us and threaten to break it, you are immediately putting us on the defensive and will actually get us to immediately plan for life after you. Ultimatums are the worst move to make. If he believes, correctly or not, that he's doing the best he can in this relationship and you give him an "either or" choice, do not be surprised if typical INTJ conviction sets in and he calls the bluff out of spite. I know I would. (No surprise that I'm single huh? I've called many a bluff)
  12. IMO, there's two distinct classifications with this topic: 1) The objective/consensus and 2) The mysterious subjective. There's a certain set of default, minimum requirements that most people are looking to be "brought into the relationship". Things like employment, no criminal record, no addictions, basic social skills and maturity. All things that might be found on the typical job application or resume. Having these minimum requirements is essentially step #1 to being considered for the position of S.O....they might get someone an interview. These things are found in a consensus, where broad observation like a dating article would suggest. Their weighted value is different depending on age, life stage, future planning, etc. Then there is the unknown and impossible to predict subjectivity, that specific thing that someone is silently, privately craving most. It really can just about anything...something practical like the tool that is money, something kinky like a BDSM relationship, something superficial like a toe-curling physical attraction or something simple, like a sense of humour. If anyone has ever been told "you're perfect on paper, but......." then they get an idea of what this is about. They bring enough practical stuff to the relationship to be considered, but they're missing what the person really wants brought to the relationship.
  13. "Tether" . Not because of some BDSM bondage tie someone up thing. I just like how it sounds.
  14. Keep in mind that as you're trying to "fake being a T" in an attempt to understand him, he's also trying to "fake being a F" to try to get a grasp of feelings based statements that have no measurable support. Neither of you are adequately capable of doing this impossible task which is leading to his frustration, exhibited in the form of avoiding this issue and your frustration, exhibited in seeking advice from a bunch of 3rd party INTJs and contemplating leaving. I will remind you that he is the one accepting of your relationship as is, which is his right, where you are the one requiring either change or an end to the relationship, which is also your right. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. If you want to see something awkward and uncomfortable, just watch an INTJ "fake" being anything.
  15. This thread is like deja vu for me. OP, your husband is a classic INTJ. The way he objectively discusses your relationship, how cold and business-like he is when you discuss children or the fact that you might actually leave and mostly, just how he simply cannot see that he himself and your marriage is the reason for your unhappiness because he thinks he's fulfilling the minimum requirements of being a husband. He really doesn't get it and he doesn't have the energy or desire to solve the puzzle of someone else's unhappiness when he can't see objective, practical, measurable evidence to support your complaints. You are a problem he cannot solve so he wants absolutely nothing to do with this conversation. This is why he will get frustrated and default to that "if you're unhappy you can leave" statement, because if the roles were reversed, it's exactly the conclusion he would come to. He is happy, comfortable and content. He de-stresses from his work day by doing things the require little thought, focusing on his private little hobbies and interests and is thrilled that you're in the next room. Any complaints he might have about you like, "she's a hippie", are only big enough to be worth humorous mockery. You think he's taking you for granted and he is, but not intentionally and your examples of how he reacts after you've left in the past show that he "shapes up" when pressed. But, rest assured, after he wins you back with renewed vigor in using the qualities that attracted you in the first place, he will return to the state of quiet comfort, which, to you, is "boring old married couple". After eerily going through this very scenario with my ex, who, coincidentally, was 25 at the time, I came home one day to find her reading books about depression. I said, "Wow, I really didn't think things were so bad for you!" and she said, "Oh, I'm not reading these for me, I'm reading these for you." It was at that point I realized that she simply did not understand me at all. She confused my even keeled personality, quiet robotic efficiency and big-picture, goal attaining driven routine as being "dead inside" or full on depression. I was actually very happy, productive and content with our relationship and she needed much more animation, emotion and passion from me for her that I was ever going to be able to give. Being around me made her restless and unhappy so, despite my protesting, she left. Go to couples therapy. Get a mediator, 3rd party, voice of reason involved. He's tuned you out.