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About Fishism

  • Rank
    Veteran Member


  • MBTI
  • Enneagram
    Type 5
  • Global 5/SLOAN


  • Location
    Nova Scotia, Canada
  • Occupation
    Business Owner
  • Interests
    Everything...just some things more than others.
  • Gender
  1. I have very few platonic female friends. It has always been this way. Unless I find the rare sports nut or music nut, I simply do not have much in common with women. So, basically, if I don't have a romantic/sexual interest in a woman, i'm probably not going to spend any quality time in a one on one environment with her. I have a great group of male friends who are very reliable in fulfilling my need to explore common interests. This is why I never remain friends with ex girlfriends. It's always been a struggle to find common interests/activities within a relationship in the first place, so, when the relationship ends, there is relief in not having to continue the struggle to find couple activities. I assume there is an INTJ personality factor or two in here. As an introvert, I like small groups and intimate relationships, so there is not much room for casual friendships. I like being around people I don't have to censor myself to an extreme with or be worried about my odd personality offending them. Very few men make that grade with me and it has taken a lot of time to get to that place with the ones that have. I cherish those relationships.
  2. Exactly, however, now that we humans have introduced birth control as a variable into these equations, choosing healthy long term parenting/support partners has taken on drastically less importance. Procreation has become a completely different decision than with whom one is having intercourse with. They used to the same decision as one often resulted in the other. Our understanding of our nature leads to an ability to manipulate it rendering instinct to be nothing more than a consideration. So yes, a woman would reject the womanizer if she was planning on procreation. However, with a love glove, Saturday night has new possibilities with less long term consequences. She has technology to encourage discretion and birth control in multiple forms to reduce the possibility of disease and pregnancy. Why not try out that womanizer and see what all of the fuss is about?
  3. Echoing what someone else mentioned, this may not be the place for a proper addiction diagnosis. However, getting observations and experiences from others may push you to seek professional help in this area. My father is an alcoholic and I was thrust into "Alateen" at a young age as my mother was trying to help me understand my father's frequent alcohol-induced moodswings. IMO, it's the daily intake of alcohol that is the warning sign. I'm a "weekend warrior" meaning I tend to only drink on weekends in spite of my desire or craving to indulge throughout the week. I don't feel that I "need" alcohol to relax or relieve stress or anxiety but there are certainly times when I "want" alcohol to relieve stress or anxiety. I can resist wants. I'd be worried if I couldn't resist needs. I've always been petrified of becoming my father. AOA, I had an ex g/f who sounds a lot like you in terms of drinking habits. She would have low self-control when started to drink in terms of quantity and had Jekyll and Hyde personality swings. She would always have a blast in these situations as she would enjoy the liberation and freedom that would come from excessive consumption, while her accompanying friends would just roll their eyes and say "God love her" all the while trying to decide who got to be her caretaker for the evening. There were mornings where the entire night before had to be recounted for her, from her 3rd mixed drink up to her last puking experience before crashing. She knew this was a problem and for the longest time, simply had to abstain completely from alcohol. However, she would inevitably do it again, risk her life by doing stupid, unsafe things and alienate important people in her life. It always made me wonder if there was so much self-repression of her true personality that the only way she could be herself was if she was completely hammered. I think there's a difference between an alcoholic and those that "simply can't handle alcohol". I'm not sure if you're the former, but you certainly sound like the latter.
  4. I anticipate that everyone, regardless of MBTI is different than I am, because, of course, they are, especially when it comes to subjective details. I use a strategy I call "Declining Diplomacy", as if I'm a political leader travelling the world meeting other political leaders, many of whom do not speak my language. I will always start out respectful, professional, civil and yes, painfully shallow. With repeated interaction and depending on my feelings about my audience, my diplomacy level will remain high or start to slowly decline. If I find I'm annoyed, disinterested or put off by someone, I become less diplomatic and start looking for the door. Eventually, there will be no more censorship of my words and I'm about to cut off all ties. Life is too short to suffer fools.
  5. With INFJ's it's all about trust and safety and you will never be able to convince or force them to feel those things. INFJ's will guard their very intense feelings closely. Be an open, supportive, non-judgmental listener for any topic and eventually you will earn the role of being an audience for more delicate and personal topics. Don't push even if it's your instinct to do so as a problem solver.
  6. For me, the timeline structure has changed throughout different periods of my life. When, I was younger, more socially active and interacting with more singles in my age group any budding relationship would have to be identified early and "the talk" establishing labels and boundaries would have to happen fairly quickly. Why? Well, mainly, options and social opportunities to meet others were more frequent and insecurity and confusion abound. But, now, and maybe this is more of a general dating trend than just something I'm assigning to age, it's all about actions, effort and frequency of communication. There is that initial "what are you looking for?" conversation that happens even before a date, especially if you're meeting on-line, and if the answer to that question is the same for both parties, then that's the direction the relationship goes. If I meet someone and we both say that we're looking for a long term, exclusive relationship then it's assumed that's the default setting and we're going for that. If the communication is daily, activity is regular and there is physical intimacy, I simply assume we're "dating and exclusive". Of course, assumptions aren't the healthiest thing and there could a surprise around the corner, but I will trust my instinct that she is feeling the same as I am and behaving appropriately. Eventually, however, I will start lightheartedly joking about our status. Playful teasing can lead to status-confirming conversation.
  7. When it comes to my own intelligence, I've always considered myself a "jack of all trades, master of none", so I often meet women who are obviously smarter than me in certain areas. I'm always initially attracted to these types because I know I'm going to learn something from them. But, I will bore easily if she has little beyond her PhD in her own area of expertise. One trick ponies of either gender fail to maintain my interest. Subjectively, I'm attracted to a combination of passion, self awareness and realism. Those types seem to be versatile in their intelligence and makes them interesting. I'm more interested in someone able, willing and open minded enough to explore new subjects with me as we both become experts in our way. As for my masculinity, I have never felt that it was threatened by a woman who was outperforming me. Impressed and challenged in a competitive fashion, yes, but not threatened.
  8. I let little things go because I'm sure I do annoying little things as well. I do not like double standards. The problem becomes with the subjective measurement of these "things" and whether or not they are determined to be little or not.
  9. I'm not agreeing wholeheartedly with his statement, but the "ruled by the hormones" part is a given...the "sooner or later" is that part after all of those hormones fizzle and we're left with boring ol' convenience and practicality, which has little value in a world of perpetual youth and self-gratification. (oops, I let that opinion sneak out....back to the rock I crawled out from under).
  10. I understood the cold war when it was capitalism versus communism. But, capitalism won didn't it? Isn't Russia nothing but a new capitalist economy that's trying to grow "the western way"? Seriously, I don't understand the beef between these two nations anymore. Russians aren't uneducated buffoons, an information isolated 3rd world, or rife with religious fanaticism. To me, this rivalry feels like nothing more than the Hatfields and McCoys.
  11. I'd have to keep something like a food diary to see if there was a predictable pattern or "cycle" in terms of how often I'm thinking about sex. Personally, I believe it's an inverted relationship to my level of stress. When, I'm stress-free or operating at a low level of stress then I'm a horndog. When I'm distracted by life's challenges, I'm a monk and sex loses a lot of priority.
  12. I've always been an 8 hours/night guy until I went through a frustrating bout of insomnia in my early 40's. That was absolute hell and I was a wreck for 2 years. I usually head to bed at 10:30/11:00 to read and listen to light music. Lights out at 11:30. It will take me anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour to sleep and then I'm awake at 7:30 AM. But, I rarely sleep through the night as my regular vivid dreams will shock me awake periodically.
  13. As a East Coast Canadian, I don't mind having the Queen as a powerless figurehead representing our membership in the Commonwealth and reminding us of our history with the UK. Our specific east coast geographic culture is very UK-centric with our fishing/maritime roots, our distinct Irish-like accents in certain areas and our spot as a shipping middle ground between the UK and the U.S. Plus, as important as the US is as our biggest trading partner and military protector, being politically connected to Britain keeps us from being completely overridden with American culture.
  14. I'm a business owner as well and my salary can fluctuate due to discretionary dividends. I really don't know what percentage of income I save. I just make sure that the bottom line of my personal net worth statement grows every year at a rate that coincides with my age 55 target number. When the growth is sluggish, I make lifestyle changes. When it picks up, I enjoy myself a little more.
  15. Yeah, they weren't very clear what they meant by "savings". I'm a six figure dude and I have never had more than $4,000 in cash...ever, never, ever, never. Cash is either paying off interest bearing debt or invested. My "rainy day fund" is all of the unused credit I have. Who needs cash? Now, if the article was about "savings" as in investment savings, mutuals, RRSPs, ETF's, bonds, 401(k)'s...all of that business, then yes, I can see that sometimes, even a 6 figure dude may have trouble squirreling some away depending on lifestyle choices. Hitting that retirement next egg target is not easy.