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About Fishism

  • Rank
    Veteran Member


  • MBTI
  • Enneagram
    Type 5
  • Global 5/SLOAN


  • Location
    Nova Scotia, Canada
  • Occupation
    Business Owner
  • Interests
    Everything...just some things more than others.
  • Gender
  1. Bumble is designed for this. When there is a mutual match, like with Tinder, I believe the woman has 24 hours to send the first message. The guy just sits and waits. The fact that this app exists in the first place proves the idea that on regular sites/apps the female is getting overwhelmed and bombarded with nonsense. One would think that under those conditions, catches like our OP here would be prime targets because Bumble would put the agency purely in the hands of serious and proactive women looking for relationships of substance. But, just as I'm sure there are women using the service for just that, it's also a great way for women to seek out the best fuckboy. Smart fuckboys are on Bumble too and the same kind of dick pic/boob pic, hook up behavior stuff goes on there too. One of my best friends is a total and confessed fuckboy and his best conquests are from Bumble.
  2. I follow these two general rules: When men are interested and I mean REALLY interested, regardless of personality type, they pursue. They make it known. aka Bold interest. When women are interested and I mean REALLY interested, regardless of personality type, they engage, interact and ask questions as they're painting a mental picture of a relationship. aka Discreet interest. He's not being bold. It doesn't take much time in a busy schedule to text a "Hi. Thinking about you".
  3. Me! Me! I do! I do! But I'm weird. I've got this odd clothes thing. I prefer some stage of clothed over completely naked. I'm all about the gift wrapping and implants can certainly be well-packaged.
  4. Let's try some different numbers shall we? We will go in our time machine back to our high school and university days. Here we are surrounded by attractive, single, eligible people...by the hundreds! In 3 dimensions even! With voice and body language! We're passing them in the halls and they're popping in and out of all of our social functions......and yet, only a few, such a small percentage, do we find ourselves REALLY attracted to. And even a percentage of those, making it infinitesimal, took some time to actually get under our skin. If you ask me, it's not the women who are picky, nor is it the men. It's Mother Nature. Her game of yin and yang is unpredictable and torturous. There's no real trick to this...no teases or breadcrumbs to "lead" those clueless individuals to your door. There's your face and your wit and the random possibility that someone finds both of those things subjectively irresistible.
  5. Yes, this is something I've heard before. So men and women are different? Knew it! Totally knew it! I think I'm only going to use these terms on my next date. "I'm getting a strong oxytocin vibe from you. I must confess, our interaction is really causing a rise in my vasopressin. I hope it's not embarrassingly noticeable. Shall we take this back to my place for a little late night hormonal cocktail?" Science is such a buzzkill.
  6. Maybe we need to speak full on INTJ? "System flawed: No desired results. Old system dropped on floor and jumped on repeatedly with hard soled shoes until no longer functioning. System must be revisited to improve chances of desired outcome. Begin utilizing oversized INTJ brain to objectively detach and create new strategy." Snacking on healthy carrot sticks for mental energy. *blip* *bleep* *blip* *blop*
  7. Austin Powers would call this "mojo". He was totally useless when he lost it...... But, ignoring the film reference, I think there's a lot to this. The terms "confidence" and "genuine" get thrown around forums like this a lot and they could be intertwined with this "I'm an invincible heterosexual male" masculinity that, when employed properly, works like a charm. We all get what Ischulte is trying to do with is profile, and that is to distance himself from the typical shirtless fuckboy and show that he's got some substance to go with his statistics. It's admirable. However, there's this danger of swinging that pendulum too far in the wrong direction where he becomes, not necessarily "one of the girls", but at least, androgynous. That may work on the small percentage of women identifying as demisexuals or sapiosexuals who have convinced themselves that brain trumps biology but the bulk of women still value some brawn and sexuality. It's on the wishlist....even if it's never stated for fear of the typical male overreaction to anything implying sexuality. He'd be better served by leaving all of the juicy nice guy/feminist shtick as a bonus quality, to be discovered after his brain and cuteness are thoroughly vetted and admiring eyes have lead to the curling of toes. No need to reveal perfection too early. One can only go down from there.
  8. Umm...errr...ummm.. I got nothing. Unless good grammar counts. Oh, and wonderful drives on the back of my motorcycle... Oh, and my stereo system is really awesome...... Oh...and...umm....errr...ummm.....good oral hygiene? Sarcasm? Is sarcasm fun? Next question.
  9. You're being "negged". It's a method to get you to engage. Did you defend yourself or ignore your accuser?
  10. Companies generally don't hire from the resume anyway. A good resume will get you an interview at best. Then, it's up to you to use your awesome body language, confidence and communicative skills to illustrate that you have the personality and intelligence to support all of those education and employment accolades. Your dating profile is designed to get you an interview. It will not guarantee you the job. Analogies are fun.
  11. I've always been good with my money. The only thing that I've had to rethink was my home. In my neck of the woods, our real estate market is all messed up due to many factors, lingering 2008 issues included, so any thoughts I've had on selling and moving have been shelved while it shakes out and reaches a new equilibrium that I can interpret to my advantage.
  12. I'm sure your parents would have offered you just about anything to prevent you from starving yourself to death. What a difficult situation for everyone involved....eek! As an INTJ male, who is as typically visual, superficial and sexual as any other type of male, I say that although I prefer natural breasts, it's only a slight preference over wonderfully proportioned implants. I assume that only a few select individuals are going to see them uncovered while the rest of the world is just going to notice how they help influence your figure and in turn, your confidence. If dude is worthy of you, he will understand how important this is for you and support you.
  13. I don't really care what it was initially designed for. I'm not an idealist. But, I am well aware of what it's actually being used for. Like you, I support on-line dating as one method, along with actual non-technology based socializing, to put oneself in contact with as many possible partners as possible. That's where the "efficiency" of it is.....exposure leading to proximity. But, expecting people to follow these mythical "rules" is foolhardy. Oh, you yourself suggested that Tinder was initially deemed a "hook up site" and implied that people, especially women, "hardly use it for that". So, already, what's supposed to happen with dating sites/apps and what actually happens is cloudy at best. It makes the most sense just to be yourself, say what you want and deal with any contacts you make on an individual basis.
  14. I've used all forms of on-line dating, on and off, for the better part of the last 14 years. Yes, I've been fortunate enough to meet people through the medium where I've started serious relationships with. Unfortunately, like many things these days, they were, for whatever reason, "disposed of" and I've found myself back on-line again. I will say that you and I have had completely opposite experiences with it. I'm sure our 2 decades of age difference has a lot to do with that and our markets are different, but, you're confusing "too desperate" with people actually being serious about finding a partner. I've had more success finding quality women on a site I've paid for which has less participants than I have on the free ones, where I'm just something to occupy the time in between commercial breaks or while they await appetizers. Sites that require payment are not for the desperate, they are for the driven and legitimately single. Cheater's generally don't like obvious credit card charges. It's the free sites, the lazy apps, the "results with the least amount of effort" tools where you find the flaky daters, and yes, this includes many women, who, despite what mythical pedestal you have them on, use free apps like Tinder and Bumble and POF to, shockingly, just......get.....laid. Geography also plays a role here as well. If you're in NYC, there are lots of options, no matter what service you're using. If you're in a city with 250,000 people however, your market is drastically hampered and you must adjust accordingly. I simplify it this way: In general, men and women simply have their prime directives inversely ranked. Men, generally, want sex first, but if a great relationship comes along, sure, why not? Women, however, generally want a relationship first, but if hot fuckboy is free, sure, why not? And nothing is stopping either gender from looking for both things concurrently. Stop worrying about all of this extra crap. You're looking for someone to join into the permanent contract of parenting with......this is important shit!! Even more important than icky pooey marriage! Use every possible site and write exactly what you want and who you are in the profile space you're allotted. Have a large presence so Little Miss Childbearing Hips can find you. If they don't want you because you're only an 8.2 and their inboxes are full of 8.5's then move on. Whether you're trying to get laid or propagate the Ishculteian legacy, you've got to put the work in and it probably isn't going to happen fast.
  15. In their defense, I don't blame women for "not trusting anything a guy says" considering the plethora of PUA tactics being used in an effort to manipulate and misrepresent. There's something to the accusation that many men will do anything to get their dicks wet and even if you insist that you're not "that guy" well, you're using the nice guy tactic and that can't be trusted either. I have one female friend who said to me "if I'm going to be played, the guy is going to hot as hell". That's a sound, realistic attitude to me. So, if many women have generalized, and rightly so due to their experience of men being douchebags on-line, that there's a huge risk of being played, it would support their ridiculous pickiness, because when it comes down do it, they're still lonely and and have free time here and there. They'll play this stupid game but damn sure pick a good opponent where losing is really only half losing....more like a draw even.