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About qstoffe

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    Respectful Analyst
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    Born 1981
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    Horses, games, books, movies...
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  1. Yeah I know her name but that's because she's quite a public figure at the gym. I've never told her my name but she might have overheard it. Probably not though. Lol. I said I first saw her 4 years ago and noticed that she was attractive but nothing more than that. I never looked especially much at her back then, never made eye contact and I didn't greet her either. The last two months is like somebody flipped a switch. I feel I'm getting a bit obsessed by her. But you're right, action is what is needed. It's just... I think I need a while to build up my mentality for it first. She seems like a very assertive woman. At least in her work. Though my intuition tells me she might be a bit shy when it comes to romantic interests. Maybe I'm just guessing, I don't know. Yeah I would definitely need to be better at reading facial expressions. I've taken a few online tests were you should match a photo of a facial expression with an emotion. I always score high at those but I find it difficult to trust my intuition IRL when reading someone's interest in me. For some reason I find it especially difficult to read this girl. It would be nice with some indication though because I think I would be completely heartbroken if she just flat out rejected me.
  2. Hehe well since I started this thread I've made eye contact with both of us smiling several times. We always say hi when we pass each other now. Problem is, she could be doing this simply because she works there or that she's just trying to be nice. I still haven't had the guts to make conversation with her though. Patience...
  3. Ha! Being busy doing something applies to almost every other place too, i.e. stores, offices etc. Interrupting someone when they look busy concentrating is just plain rude wherever it's done. That doesn't mean there aren't room for conversation during 100% of the time you spend at the gym. It's not like you can go around and chat freely with anyone at anytime but you probably can't do that at other places either. I don't really see the big difference.
  4. haha lol at some of the suggestions. Zephyranthes's funny sarcasm actually puts things in perspective. Oh and, blueback, negging this girl wouldn't make sense. With her super sweet attitude you would just come off as an insensitive idiot if you tried. It wouldn't feel right asking for her advice like that because she's working there as a personal trainer. The gym have others, less qualified, that offers help for free. If I want her help I better hire her. I've actually thought of doing so just because I think it would boost my training given her own impressive results. But since I've also got a romantic interest in her it could become very awkward for us both. I will not stop looking at her because I'm still interested in her. Long lingering looks and staring isn't very respectful and I always try to avoid that. Unless she stares back, then I gaze as much as I can. Yeah imagine that. Imagine meeting someone at the office, at the store, at the local interest club etc. Or are "social gatherings" the only acceptable place to meet somebody?
  5. I think so too. Attraction and interest. How obvious it's displayed and spotted seems to vary greatly from person to person and from time to time. Signs are enlarged pupils and a pretty intense look. Moisty eyes might be an indication of love since I think people get this way when we get very emotional. I find it hard to put down more specific signs but I think most people would recognize it when the "signs" are obvious enough.
  6. Not really. The few times I've talked to her it has always been impersonal questions about the gym. This is a good suggestion. Though she is usually busy talking to some of her friends after classes. Maybe I should try and join the conversations a little (somehow)? I blew a good opportunity for that recently when she came over to the stretching pad to talk to her friends. I was standing right next to them and it felt as she was talking to me as much as she was to her friends (whishful thinking?). She told that she's going to compete in the national powerlifting final. When telling how much she lifts I could see how proud she was. And rightly so, I almost fell over in disbelief of how heavy weights she lifts. I was about to say something but I hesitated a while and then she left. I almost feel as she has "given" me a few opportunities like this just so that I would talk to her. Or maybe that is just my wishful thinking? It's just that I get a bit nervous around her, afraid that I will mess up by saying something stupid. Hmm wouldn't it be a bit awkward for me to start talking about myself all of a sudden? Wouldn't it be better to ask her something and then try to relate to something about myself if appropriate?
  7. I've got a huge crush on a girl that I don't really know. She works at the local gym I go to. I usually see her a couple of times a week and we say hi to each other. I make eye contact with her as often as I can. At first we just used to look at each other without expression. Then I tried to smile at her as we made eye contact and she smiled back. I think she knows I like her since I look and glance at her so frequently. I have no idea if she's interested though since she might just be nice to me because she works there. Since I've seen her so often, talking and training with others around me I almost feel as though I know her. I also attend a group exercise that she leads. Question is; how do I approach her in a progressive way, bit by bit, to get more acquainted with her? I don't want to come on too strong right away because I think that could make things a bit awkward for us both. I just want to get to know her better and at the same time find out if she's interested in me. She seems like a super nice girl that I wouldn't mind being "just" friends with even though that would break my heart. To be honest I don't even know if she's single but asking her that might be a little too direct imo.
  8. I hear you. Though I'm no longer a teenager either, at least not by age, since I'm 31. I've had my fair share of minor crushes throughout the years but nothing as strong as this. I've seen her at the gym the last 4 years and while I've always found her attractive I haven't crushed on her until recently. Now I think she's the sweetest girl I've ever seen. I can't claim to understand the rationale behind the feeling but I do know it's a very strong feeling. One that would not be easy to just walk away from. I'm just dying to know if she knows of my interest. The way I look at her I think she must at least suspect it. If only I could get a hint in some way without actually asking... god I'm such a coward when it comes to my feelings. I feel stupidly childish.
  9. My gut feeling is leaning towards that she knows. However, if she do know, I would like to make sure she doesn't dislike me before I talk to her. Do women usually know or assume that a guy likes them when we look that much at you? If you know, what would you do about it? Would you behave differently etc? Exactly. If she didn't work there than I would "know" she didn't dislike me enough to avoid me at least. On the other hand, she might feel restricted by "work ethics" to give me more of an indication that she would be interested in me. That's not always the case. We sometimes make eye contact when passing. The time when I held the door open for her and she looked down the entire time was extremely weird though. She definately did that consciously for some reason. Haha! I haven't got the guts to do that. Sorry. Yes this is what I'm so torn about. If she's creeped out I would rather take it easy for now. Yeah this is probably the way I will handle this. It's the "safest" way to handle this situation. Could be slow and painful though.
  10. Ok so I like this girl that works at the gym I go to. The problem is I get so shy around her that I never have the confidence to strike up a personal conversation with her. I usually say hi to her and I've asked her a few impersonal questions but that's about it. She's been working at my gym for at least 4 years and while I've always found her attractive it's just the last months that I have gotten a huge crush on her. The thing is I can't help myself from looking at her a lot more often now. Always looking around searching for her. Stealing glances. When she sees me looking she usually looks back so that we make eye contact for a couple of seconds. She rarely smiles when we make eye contact and I can't bring myself to smile either. We just look intently at each other with expressionless faces. I've also noticed that she meets my gaze more often when she's across the room from me. When we are close she sometimes seems to look right down the floor instead instead of meeting my eyes. Not always though as we sometimes make eye contact when passing each other (but without either of us smiling). Sometimes when I throw her a glance, hoping for eye contact, I can see that she looks back at me out of the corner of her eyes. Then I look away because I don't want to stare at her that way. A couple of weeks ago I bumped into her as she was leaving the gym. She said hi and I said hi back at her. After passing her I turned around to look at her and then I see her stopping, turning around and coming back towards the gym. I waited at the door to the gym, holding it for her. I waited by holding the door open for like 10s so it was a bit awkward. Anyway as she passed through the door she kept looking down to the ground the entire time. She said something to me about if you forget something you'll have to use your legs instead. It was wierd and I almost felt like she wasn't talking to me just because she was looking down so firmly. I've also noticed that when she's talking to friends and I come close she usually falls silent. I've also seen her stiffen up when she notices my presence. Maybe I'm interpreting too much of it or imagining things. Or could my presence make her uncomfortable? I try making eye contact with her whenever I can. Even if it makes me nervous it also makes me feel great when I lock eyes with her. The big question is; do you think she knows I like her? Would you "know" if a shy guy was looking a lot more than normal at you?
  11. Thanks. It feels good to know that there is a chance that she could be interested. Or at least not disinterested. I saw her again today. We made brief eye contact. She was smiling. I got so nervous and stiff that I couldn't bring myself to smile back and I had to break eye contact. Damn it. I can't believe how poor I am at this.
  12. Hmm not good then... When she broke eye contact she looked sideways to the left. Certainly not looking downwards but I don't think she rolled her eyes upwards either. She simply seemed to look to the left with an "empty" stare at nothing while dropping her jaw and posture slightly. It almost like she was tired. She had a few friends standing around her but she didn't look at them. Then I left so don't know what followed.
  13. Hmm I wonder if it's really that black and white. I find it very odd if she would hate me since we hardly know each other. Neither is/has she been blushing or rolling her eyes at me. The only eye contact we've had has been pretty expressionless from both sides. But after I held eye contact a little longer with her a few times, she seems to be avoiding to even look at my direction. I really want to stay positive though.
  14. What is the most common reason for why a girl avoids eye contact with a guy? In my case, it's about a girl that I almost meet on a daily basis. I have developed a crush on her, and therefore I look at her more often. I also seek more eye contact with her. I managed to get a little longer eye contact (~3s) a couple of times with her ​​about a week ago. The feeling a felt inside was strong enough that I completely forgot to smile. My face was probably completely blank/expressionless. However she looked at me with the same expression, I think ​​(good or bad indication of interest?). I broke eye contact the first time and the other time she broke it first by looking to the side. Now to the problem. The past week, I've gotten the impression that she avoids looking at me. At least it seems to be impossible to get her to make eye contact again. What could be the reason? Does she know that I'm interested and avoids looking at me because she's not interested? How do girls usually behave when a guy repeatedly casts glances and sometimes seeks eye contact? I also don't think she is the shy type of girl. She seems to act extroverted in her profession and when talking to others.
  15. Maybe I do need an english course but I think you just chose to purposely misunderstand me. If I see a woman with a pretty face I will be attracted to her no matter what she does/says. The logical part of my mind may override this but it doesn't really change the basic feeling of being attracted to her. And no, it doesn't take more than appearance to make someone attractive. That's true for my feelings at least.