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About Eclipse

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  1. I don't understand the complete logistics of it all, but I'm tempted to believe yes. Sorry if this seems a little misinformed. I looked at the portrait of an ETJ child. As a kid I was very ETJish. Out-going, energetic, a little bossy even. That description fits me perfectly. The description states that only 4 letters are used, but if I had to guess, I'd say I was some sort of ESTJ. When I hit middle school however, that changed completely. I was much less out going, became more aware of peoples feelings, began resisting any social events, and became much more calm and reserved, and stuck in my own head. I'm sure some of that was natural development but I also can't help but feel that there may have been a bit of reconfiguration in place. I don't interact with people an ounce as well as I used to. At my core I do still feel more or less the same, but I do believe I changed rather than developed in a few ways. I also find strange that as a kid I sorta blended right in with my family full of sensing types but as INTJ now I can barely relate at all.
  2. I've had the exact same feeling with a friend of mine. It's as if I could instantly decide to stop all contact and truly not care. I still have no idea why. I realize that I'm the only one that sees this as a problem and it gives me the feeling that I'm just needy and want my friend's undivided attention. I really can't justify my behavior. I don't know how much this part correlates to the original post. Monte's answer seems to make the most sense to me but I'm willing to propose another theory. Perhaps when the wall we put around ourselves is broken, figuratively of course, it feels like a piece of us is seeping out into the open when the person who broke the wall keeps close contact with a number of other people. If we wanted leaks in the wall, why put up a wall to begin with. It may feel much easier to simply close off the other person completely. This makes me wonder, how many INTJs have had close relationships with people who had a large number of friends from the start? Sorry I have no advice, it's a very puzzling situation to me.
  3. Not to come off offensive, but could everyone please just toss out this theory. People insisting you don't respect yourself or like yourself is very agitating. I do feel unloved at times but I've don't ever look down on myself. Also the fantasy statement is a reference to to my inexperience. A relationship I'm pretty sure can be taxing having its ups and its downs, but when you're in a state of fantasy you're probably not thinking about the downs. I guess a good analogy would be a kid on a scary roller coaster. From the outside it looks fun and exciting but when the ride starts you may want to get off it. I've decided to continue "working on me" and it's what I've been doing for the past few days. I think my real issue is I felt like I had no personal life. Strangely I couldn't see that as a bad thing, more work done right, but I was actually less productive and had to deal with these depressing spells. Having forcefully separated myself with better scheduling, I've gradually been becoming a bit more social on my own through hobbies and such. That alone makes me more lax about it. I'm satisfied with these results! For anyone with a regular job, I'm sure the answer is more complicated than that. If I felt like that in such a case, I'd probably try just going somewhere I thought would be fun at least once a week for no reason other than to pique my interest. It seems like a nice alternative than to feel as though you're trying to change yourself and adapt to environments. At the very least you can say, I saw something interesting. Not that I should really be giving advice ; D
  4. -Southland -It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  5. Looking over the original post things do look a bit jumbled. I don't think I was thinking too clearly that day. Let me go over things a bit. Ducks in a Row I'm working on starting a business developing software and business isn't exactly booming. If business continues as its doing, I'm simply going to find work at an established company. I at least have to try to start at the top if I believe I have the potential to do it. I'm 24 Supposedly this is the prime of my life and I'm spending it in front of a computer. I know this will pay off in the long run, but I can't help but feel like life is passing me by. Sometimes you develop an "I can have it all" type of thinking, but it's hard to see that working without a steady income. Maybe this is a case of the grass looking greener on the other side. Living with Parents Fact is, my parents love having me around and I love having all the free time to hone my craft. It's not like I'm starting a garage band, I'm actually learning things that would look good on a resume. Problem is, living with your parents has this stigma attached to it. You're some loser who never learned to grow up and can't take care of himself. Honestly, I don't know if people really think like that but I always find that movies are a good representation of what society thinks it should act like. I often feel like movies are telling people how they should think. I thought I should mention this because it just felt like something else stacked against me. Killing Lovesickness I actually looked up lovesick just to make sure I wasn't using it wrong, but I think some people may have thought I was in a relationship and then I was depressed over it. Nope, I'm just a guy whose avoided relationships all his life and now its starting to catch up with me, and probably the worst possible time. Looking at myself, I don't see myself in any position to be dating anyone. Mainly, it's because I don't have the money for it, but I also don't feel comfortable wasting time while living in another household. The goal here was to just purge myself of these fanciful thoughts of "love" and stay focused. This isn't to say I want to avoid relationships but I don't want to go far out of my way pursing one. Because I've been this long without a relationship I do feel as though it could never happen, and that makes me want to get more proactive about it. It's depressing to me to think that my first love may have wrinkles. Again the thoughts are much appreciated. It's nice to get a decent range of perspectives on the subject.
  6. I like these ideas but I sometimes wonder if they're the poison or the cure. I do value career over love at this point so I guess that's some incentive to stick it out. I think this affirms the other two posts but there are a few problems there. My current situation isn't what's making me feel bad. In fact I should enjoy it now because when I'm gone I'll probably be pretty far away from them. What's making me feel bad is I can't focus because I think I'm missing out on something, or that I'm fixing myself into a view I can't get out of. Lastly, I do respect myself. Society's standards shouldn't be a gauge to figure out if you're a respectable person. Sadly most people don't see it that way. Thanks for the advice everyone. I have a lot to digest....
  7. I do have a job (sort of) making software, but if sales are low it's almost like not having a job. I'm trying to simply get better at what I do to increase those sales but if I can't I'm simply just going to find work elsewhere and work my way from the bottom up. But if I'm too down to work, life just stops and it tears at me that I'm mooching off my parents and not getting things done at an acceptable pace. I may try just going out one time and spend as little money as possible. It'll add to experience and it just might quell the second side, be that through positive or negative means.
  8. Sorry, I tend to be vague, but you're correct. I don't have much experience at all. I honestly feel as though I'm in no position to be more outgoing. Besides when going out to meet someone, wouldn't you want the best version of yourself to be presented? That isn't to say I'll be someone different later, but I'm in a kind of a rut right now. I don't need that tacked on to being a weirdo. I think I see what you're getting at, and the painstaking progress of ditching the shell does seem more appeasing in the long term, but I associate going out with spending money, both of which I really don't even want to do. It seems so much easier to just shove this depressing "lovey-dovey" me into the closet, and let em out when I'm ready. Or at least it seemed much easier.
  9. Actualized type: INTJ Introverted (I) 77.78% Extroverted (E) 22.22% Intuitive (N) 56.41% Sensing (S) 43.59% Thinking (T) 55.56% Feeling (F) 44.44% Judging (J) 63.64% Perceiving (P) 36.36% Preferred type: ISTJ Introverted (I) 60.71% Extroverted (E) 39.29% Sensing (S) 52.63% Intuitive (N) 47.37% Thinking (T) 56.76% Feeling (F) 43.24% Judging (J) 55.56% Perceiving (P) 44.44% Attraction type: ENTP Extroverted (E) 53.13% Introverted (I) 46.88% Intuitive (N) 58.33% Sensing (S) 41.67% Thinking (T) 51.35% Feeling (F) 48.65% Perceiving (P) 52.78% Judging (J) 47.22% Must have gotten ISTJ cause I'm a bit lazy.
  10. I hate this feeling, I really do. I'm 24 and still living with my parents trying to get my ducks in a row, and I'm far from a steady income. I feel like it would be a waste of time even trying to address it at this point. The real problem is, it's affecting my ability to get anything done! I've never felt more useless right now. The sad thing is, if I were to ever get involved in a relationship, I'd probably hate that after the first few days once I inevitably realize reality doesn't live up to the fantasy. Any advice to kill lovesickness? It's not doing me any good right now. I've built up an immunity to all of my excuses.
  11. Alexander the Great
  12. I was feeling the exact same way not too long ago but the feeling eventually passed on its own for the most part. At the time I felt like I was on the edge of just driving somewhere and talking to random people, which is completely out of my character. My advise is to try to concoct some situation where you're forced to be around a group of people either physically or from your computer. You might prefer a group that breaks into smaller groups as to reduce the chances of feeling isolated from the group entirely. I rarely think anyone really develops relationships by short chance encounters (any INTJs at least). You could see someone everyday and never speak to each other yet I believe you still begin to feel you know each other somewhat, and for me that goes a long way. Unfortunately I'm rarely able to concoct such scenarios that are practical at this time. That's what I've made of things so far anyways.
  13. I'm generally attracted to any ethnicity other than my own (Black), go figure. But as stated, pretty is pretty regardless.
  14. Discordian You scored 11 trippy, 11 brooding, 33 geeky, and 44 in-duh-vidual!
  15. The feeling has subsided and I've been back to my usual self for about 2 days now. : ) I'm never really down long but it's truly a nightmare when I am. My condolences to anyone who goes through this long periods. If you were to ask me what put me back on track, I honestly could not tell you. Here's a bit of back history towards previous experiences. 1. Joining Social Networking Sites: This more than often just leaves me frustrated more than anything, typically having questioning why on earth would I want to talk to anyone. Social networks seem to be a rough experience for me but can be a way out if negativity is an option. 2. Projects: Sometimes working simply works especially when there's something you just can't figure out and you're up all night on it. Unfortunately there are just points in the project (for me at least) where mental demands can be unsatisfying and things don't work to well. If I had to guess, I'd say joining this forum and then working through replies got me out of this slump. It's a tentative fix but I'm happy for now. For some reason I'm thinking I may have to vacation out the country (US) to address it properly. Also I'm into software development.