Welcome to INTJ Forum

This is a community where INTJs can meet others with similar personalities and discuss a wide variety of both serious and casual topics. If you aren't an INTJ, you're welcome to join anyway if you would like to learn more about this personality type or participate in our discussions. Registration is free and will allow you to post messages, see hidden subforums, customize your account and use other features only available to our members.


Core Member
  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited


About Calica

  • Rank
    Core Member


  • MBTI
  • Enneagram
  • Brain Dominance


  • Biography
    still being written.
  • Location
    third rock from the Sun.
  • Interests
    you, me, them, it.
  • Gender
  • Personal Text
    "...point is, we don't have the answers, we just have to live with the questions and find our way." ~Castle

Recent Profile Visitors

8,369 profile views
  1. Superficially: I tend to notice the dark haired, light eyes, strong nose, lean, lightly muscular and tall-ish (somewhere around my height, +/-) type more often than not. Otherwise there's plenty of beauty to be found in people differing that specific description as well. Something about interesting eyes always got to me and I tend to remember them well. And graceful, long-fingered hands. How they carry themselves. Otherwise: Common sense, intelligent enough to not prize it above all else. Mental compatibility, can talk with them for hours on end about anything and still be interested. Openness to experience/exploring. Openness to ideas/people within a certain scope. People who are kind, but secure in themselves at the same time. Compatible sense of humour - it tends to go along with better understanding/meshing of personalities. A calm, steadfast disposition - as I'm fairly emotionally reactive sometimes having someone calmer alongside calms me too. Acceptance and at least a willingness to work on understanding/handling own emotions. Curiosity, allows themselves to get excited and playful, sometimes. Also, this: I find extremes off-putting more often than not. So, mental, emotional and physical compatibility. Piece of cake, really.
  2. Sounds a bit paradoxical, yes and I do get that. There's many good suggestions already written here. If you're looking to establish a circle like you mentioned having been a part of once, I'd suggest looking into what made it work. I'm guessing "being picked at" wasn't a qualifying standard at that time yet, so what was? What changed to make it so? Just the personalities around you? Your openness to different ways of thinking/being? How much you're willing to give of yourself? Even being aware it might not turn into the easy camaraderie you crave, was the one you did have that way from the start? Going off my own experience, and I may be wrong, but I think there was a lot of build up until you felt that free and open to whatevet with the previous circle. So, closing off on even the possibility of it in your mind is sure to somehow express itself in your behaviour with these new people. I guess my advice would be to work on your awareness of negative thought/rejecting things out of hand (because even if you go along with something but reject it all the while inside that's still pushing people away). Have you tried suggesting other activities instead of fishing/ bar hopping? And if you do go for drinks and have fun talking to someone, why not just tell the one asking you to drink/dance/whatever instead that you in fact are good / are already having fun? Maybe they just don't know you well enough to see that you are. And they won't, if you don't communicate outside of yes/no. I don't know, maybe I'm used to extroverts trying to help me have fun, but I usually just reassure them I'm having fun on the inside, it's just not that visible on the outside. That usually makes them laugh and they might not believe it fully yet, because they're more used to a more expressive, physical reaction to their kind of excitement. And I do get that way, just very rarely in those situations and very easily in others, that excite me enough to let the restraint go without a second thought. And I think people seing that , your reactions and responses to different stimuli and situations is what builds understanding and friendship. And talking about things that matter to either of you, not all the time, but knowing you could instead of hiding huge parts of yourself away. I guess my point, before this desolved into a treatise on friendship , was that to establish closeness you have to offer the same in return. One-sided it just feels invasive and annoying. And yes, the right people for it might be all the rarer, but that makes it that much more important for you to be open to snagging them/showing yourself so you even get on their radar. And this came out very long when I initially just planned "I feel you, but maybe you're not getting close because you're not offerring closeness either". Alas. Do with it what you will.
  3. In theory, I appreciate constructive criticism and learning how to improve myself. The personal strength developed trough trial and error. In reality I'm an insecure little shit and take things personally even when I know they're not. *sigh* Just one of those days.
  4. soundtrack I don't know how to insert the url into the image link anymore. Or how to preview quotes (to pick up useful tricks, of course).
  5. *waves and smiles*
    *waves more and smiles more*

    1. Calica


      :wideeyed: *waves*

      *lovingly scatters onion leaves*

      *waves at some more*

  6. Agreed with figuring out your triggers and trying to prevent it from escalating. For me a big one is tense muscles, could be from the feet up, but especially shoulders and neck. As long as the tension is not resolved the migraine perists or comes back after a day when the pill effect runs out. Also hormone fluctuations, persistent eye strain and weather changes. I remember you mentioning a hormone imbalance some time ago. Might be worth checking out. When it comes to prevention- I strongly dislike fluorescent lights, strong smells and too many disjointed sounds. Try to pinpoint what might be causing discomfort to your senses. This is useful in preventing a full blown attack. Other than that, the morning migraine makes me think perhaps you didn't unwind enough before sleep (stretching, calming down, airing out your bedroom, drinking enough water).
  7. I think I had a conversation with someone very good at manipulation. In hindsight it all seemed choreographed and adjusted to my responses/reactions. I gave too much personal info. Feeling a bit freaked out and paranoid, tbh.
  8. kwangho shin?

    1. Calica


      Indeed :) Though that isn't me admiring his work. Are you a fan as well?

    2. spect


      lol had to look because i wasnt sure, think a few others have a similar style but yes i really like his work for some time

  9. Gonna go with staying as they are/miserable is the safer, easier option. Trying means opening up to the possibility of either succeeding or failing and both can be scary. Especially admitting to and going after something they want can trigger feelings of inadequacy i.e. "not deserving it" or fearing the possibility of hoping high and falling down even lower, which is basically just the fear of failing/succeeding all over again.
  10. Zootopia Cute and occasionally funny, while keeping the stereotypical revenge spiel. The sloth scene was pretty funny though.
  11. I will not be surprised if you say you're expecting any day now. There were enough pregnancies the last few years for it not to be a cause of stupefied existential introspection. *shrugs* Live long and prosper. Edit: but I do still enjoy the guilty pleasure of thinking "I knew it " on ocassion.
  12. Assuming LOTR and GOT are not of interest: Brandon Sanderson ~ Mistborn series (interesting concept, fleshed-out characters, fun fantasy) Rachel Aaron ~ The legend of Eli Monpress (interesting characters continuously messing about) Jim Butcher ~ Codex Alera (supposedly conceived as a dare with the starting point of Pokemon and Roman warfare. It is less hilarious than it sounds and worth the read) Steven Erikson ~ The Malazan Book of the fallen (10 books.. truly epic, heavy stuff) Hopefully you find something in there.
  13. I like it best when it (for the most part) subtly accentuates the color of the iris and draws attention to it (to better ensnare your senses :D). Seeing as how eyes are such and expressive part of the face and I'm drawn to paying extra attention to them anyway I can appreciate the different effects makeup plays on my perception. Depends on the person and situation as well, of course. Sometimes it just seems like something fun to get creative with. I usually prefer just mascara and sometimes eyeliner/pencil (black, mossy green or violet), rarely eye-shadow for evening looks. While I find the colour combinations interesting I don't have skill at using eye-shadow and find removal of heavy makeup annoying. Some styles I think look awesome:
  14. Cristoph Andre ~ Feelings and moods Not theory heavy, but I found the writing style easy to read and understandable. It reads almost diary-like, but with separate chapters on different feelings/moods. Not sure how useful it would be for a presentation, but for personal understanding it might fit.