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About Calica

  • Rank
    Core Member


  • MBTI
  • Enneagram
  • Brain Dominance


  • Biography
    still being written.
  • Location
    third rock from the Sun.
  • Interests
    you, me, them, it.
  • Gender
  • Personal Text
    "...point is, we don't have the answers, we just have to live with the questions and find our way." ~Castle

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  1. I get the frustration. Test results kept cycling between 4, 5, 6, 7 and 9. Some descriptions fit more, others less, untill it was basically all just a jumbled mess and nothing seemed to actually be close to fitting properly. It took me quite some time to narrow it down. As another poster already said, check dis-/integration loops, fears, desires. Honest self-reflection goes a long way. I thought the lower health level descriptions were especially enlightening (in a "oh god, this sounds embarrassingly familiar" way). Can't really help you with the w3 or w5 differences, as I never got stuck between the two. Perhaps read a description of both type 3 and 5 and see if something pops out to you that could be a background influence on your behaviour. For instance, for me it was knowledge hoarding. I feel I need to know and learn things, to be competent in order to feel like I can deal with whatever situation comes along better. Enter, my bookmarks library on things to read/look into (a lot of it gets forgotten in the background, unresearched, which is something a type 5 probably wouldn't do ). Also, I'd suggest looking into variants (sx/sp/so) last. It definitely highlighted some things regarding my approach to interpersonal relationships to me, but I imagine it'd just be more confusing if I tried incorporating it into basic type determination. Not sure this actually helped any, if nothing else just shorten it to been there, you'll figure it out as well.
  2. Hullo to you too :D

    1. MrFreakaficial



      I barely visit the forum these days, but you're one of the people whom I think about from time to time :p

    2. Calica


      Right back at ya, neighbour ;D How are you doing? Last we talked you were going over data on bone measurements, I think.

    3. MrFreakaficial


      Treating cancer patients with linear accelerators. Sometimes cleaning up their shit and blood when the ones with cortical atrophy decide to fall off from the table mid-treatment. Agonizing over deciding what to do with my life in the near future. Move abroad? Go to work in Budapest? Pursue a Master's in something? Who knows? And then playing video games to get away from it all. About sums it up :p


      What about you?

  3. Agreed. If it's not something worth arguing about (or the other person seems set in their opinion) I'll usually let it go fairly easily. It's connected to the point someone made about subjective truth; differing opinions don't have to end up in a showdown till there's only one, unless it's just one of those subjects I feel very strongly about. I do think it's more passivity than submission. Which yes, to someone only having insight into visible re-/actions might be taken as the later, but this person would be very confused when future interactions invariably won't use the same script. This is the second post I'm writing here. The first got deleted, because I just didn't care enough to argue, when there seem to be so many strong opinions and little room for thinking trough what people of this particular type actually communicate is going on behind the scenes (insight into which is generally lacking, whenever interpreting behaviour, generalizations or not). Or maybe I'm just frustrated because several posts have already hit the nail on the head, but it's getting lost in translation, or something. On the inside, basically: "Xs are dominant, Zs are not." "hmm, that's nice." *disregards and wonders about other things*
  4. The times I don't listen to it I usually end up telling myself I should have listened to it. So, when the gut feeling comes again I go for it, even if it's just something as everyday as driving a different route home. I won't really know if it was right to listen to it (aside from an empty road and a green wave), but if I don't listen to it it will usually be clear why I should have (heavy traffic, work on the road etc.). That's the best refresher on listening to it I know. If I always followed that hunch I don't know if I'd recognize anything out of the ordinary.
  5. Pumpkin soup with a bit of pumpkin seed oil on top. Veggie pad thai from this one restaurant. Curry and cayenne on pasta/rice/whatever. Naan bread. Buckwheat + walnuts bread. Garlic roasted on olive oil + pesto + pasta + pine nuts on top. Mixed salad + balsamic vinegar + hazelnut and sun-dried tomatoes pesto Mixed salad + oven-baked polenta + mustard. Mustard in general. Especially with an omelette or tortilla dish. Banana pancakes from whole-grain flour and cinnamon in the batter with a bit of maple syrup on top. Mint dark chocolate. Same ice cream. And Mon cheri dark chocolate ice cream. Food is good. Also, as an unnecessary addition: Schweppes tangerine + gin. Red wine (strong, not too sour) + cola.
  6. Superficially: I tend to notice the dark haired, light eyes, strong nose, lean, lightly muscular and tall-ish (somewhere around my height, +/-) type more often than not. Otherwise there's plenty of beauty to be found in people differing that specific description as well. Something about interesting eyes always got to me and I tend to remember them well. And graceful, long-fingered hands. How they carry themselves. Otherwise: Common sense, intelligent enough to not prize it above all else. Mental compatibility, can talk with them for hours on end about anything and still be interested. Openness to experience/exploring. Openness to ideas/people within a certain scope. People who are kind, but secure in themselves at the same time. Compatible sense of humour - it tends to go along with better understanding/meshing of personalities. A calm, steadfast disposition - as I'm fairly emotionally reactive sometimes having someone calmer alongside calms me too. Acceptance and at least a willingness to work on understanding/handling own emotions. Curiosity, allows themselves to get excited and playful, sometimes. Also, this: I find extremes off-putting more often than not. So, mental, emotional and physical compatibility. Piece of cake, really.
  7. Sounds a bit paradoxical, yes and I do get that. There's many good suggestions already written here. If you're looking to establish a circle like you mentioned having been a part of once, I'd suggest looking into what made it work. I'm guessing "being picked at" wasn't a qualifying standard at that time yet, so what was? What changed to make it so? Just the personalities around you? Your openness to different ways of thinking/being? How much you're willing to give of yourself? Even being aware it might not turn into the easy camaraderie you crave, was the one you did have that way from the start? Going off my own experience, and I may be wrong, but I think there was a lot of build up until you felt that free and open to whatevet with the previous circle. So, closing off on even the possibility of it in your mind is sure to somehow express itself in your behaviour with these new people. I guess my advice would be to work on your awareness of negative thought/rejecting things out of hand (because even if you go along with something but reject it all the while inside that's still pushing people away). Have you tried suggesting other activities instead of fishing/ bar hopping? And if you do go for drinks and have fun talking to someone, why not just tell the one asking you to drink/dance/whatever instead that you in fact are good / are already having fun? Maybe they just don't know you well enough to see that you are. And they won't, if you don't communicate outside of yes/no. I don't know, maybe I'm used to extroverts trying to help me have fun, but I usually just reassure them I'm having fun on the inside, it's just not that visible on the outside. That usually makes them laugh and they might not believe it fully yet, because they're more used to a more expressive, physical reaction to their kind of excitement. And I do get that way, just very rarely in those situations and very easily in others, that excite me enough to let the restraint go without a second thought. And I think people seing that , your reactions and responses to different stimuli and situations is what builds understanding and friendship. And talking about things that matter to either of you, not all the time, but knowing you could instead of hiding huge parts of yourself away. I guess my point, before this desolved into a treatise on friendship , was that to establish closeness you have to offer the same in return. One-sided it just feels invasive and annoying. And yes, the right people for it might be all the rarer, but that makes it that much more important for you to be open to snagging them/showing yourself so you even get on their radar. And this came out very long when I initially just planned "I feel you, but maybe you're not getting close because you're not offerring closeness either". Alas. Do with it what you will.
  8. In theory, I appreciate constructive criticism and learning how to improve myself. The personal strength developed trough trial and error. In reality I'm an insecure little shit and take things personally even when I know they're not. *sigh* Just one of those days.
  9. soundtrack I don't know how to insert the url into the image link anymore. Or how to preview quotes (to pick up useful tricks, of course).
  10. *waves and smiles*
    *waves more and smiles more*

    1. Calica


      :wideeyed: *waves*

      *lovingly scatters onion leaves*

      *waves at some more*

  11. Agreed with figuring out your triggers and trying to prevent it from escalating. For me a big one is tense muscles, could be from the feet up, but especially shoulders and neck. As long as the tension is not resolved the migraine perists or comes back after a day when the pill effect runs out. Also hormone fluctuations, persistent eye strain and weather changes. I remember you mentioning a hormone imbalance some time ago. Might be worth checking out. When it comes to prevention- I strongly dislike fluorescent lights, strong smells and too many disjointed sounds. Try to pinpoint what might be causing discomfort to your senses. This is useful in preventing a full blown attack. Other than that, the morning migraine makes me think perhaps you didn't unwind enough before sleep (stretching, calming down, airing out your bedroom, drinking enough water).
  12. I think I had a conversation with someone very good at manipulation. In hindsight it all seemed choreographed and adjusted to my responses/reactions. I gave too much personal info. Feeling a bit freaked out and paranoid, tbh.
  13. kwangho shin?

    1. Calica


      Indeed :) Though that isn't me admiring his work. Are you a fan as well?

    2. spect


      lol had to look because i wasnt sure, think a few others have a similar style but yes i really like his work for some time

  14. Gonna go with staying as they are/miserable is the safer, easier option. Trying means opening up to the possibility of either succeeding or failing and both can be scary. Especially admitting to and going after something they want can trigger feelings of inadequacy i.e. "not deserving it" or fearing the possibility of hoping high and falling down even lower, which is basically just the fear of failing/succeeding all over again.
  15. Zootopia Cute and occasionally funny, while keeping the stereotypical revenge spiel. The sloth scene was pretty funny though.