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About sms444

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    Age: 27
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  1. Since this is addressed at my response, I'll answer. You probably won't like the answer, but it's no. If your INTJ isn't interested in a relationship with you, it's either not going to happen, or if you somehow find a way to force it, it will NOT work. To me, this whole situation is very clear. He likes you as a person, but not romantically. This means he enjoys being around you, very much even, but doesn't want to have a relationship with you. I think it's important to either accept this, or stop talking to him (temporarily or forever).
  2. I have a female friend like the OP. She admitted that she had a "thing" for me, and I told her straight up (with as much kindness as I could) that I only wanted to be her friend. The thing is, I MEANT it. I really really like her as a person and as a friend, but not more. She opted to put some distance between us for her own sake, which I respected and continue to respect, and now we don't hang out much anymore. But I legitimately often miss the friendship that we had/could've had.
  3. Nice thread! I currently live about a 6 minute walk from work, or a 45 second ish drive (when the weather is really bad, I'm right on a lake so snow can be pretty brutal in the winter). Soon I'll have to move a bit further away, so I'll have a normal-ish 20-25 minute commute each way at that point.
  4. It's an interesting question when you consider that nearly 100% of cultures have music, even completely isolated ones. This would actually suggest that people across the world DON'T live without music, even if it isn't strictly necessary to survival.
  5. I used to believe that people should know within a year, or even within a week/day/moment as some are saying. Many here seem to underestimate both 1) the power of self deception (overlooking flaws in your partner/the honeymoon period), and 2) how much people can and do change year to year. I have been surprised several times to find these things crop up in either myself or my partners over the years. After 1 year, you are still usually in the honeymoon period AND you haven't seen how likely your partner is to change over a more representative period of time.
  6. Quoting because I'm listening to both of these now. The Goldfrapp especially is still one of my top 5 (non classical) albums of all time.
  7. We may know people in common irl...I'm a tiny bit older than you and was a music (horn) major long ago. I still work in the industry, but not as a performer anymore. Actually, the theory and ear training were my favorite :cheesy:

  8. Ah, I'm older than I look, been out of college for a while now (29 years old) :nice:

    I majored in music for one semester then switched because theory/ear training/keyboarding are not up my alley. I played in my college's top music ensembles all four years, though. Now I just play for fun.

    In college I played high (1st) but right now I'm playing low (4th) to help flesh out the section. Plus playing low is kind of fun after not doing it for a while.

  9. Music major, or just for fun? High or low horn?

  10. From what I've read, the vast majority of people (all people, not just INTJs) rate themselves as "above average" in most measurable polls. I remember one about driving, where something like 80% of people believed they were "above average" drivers. Attractiveness is a tough one, and I decided not to vote because I have experienced polarizing feedback before -- there have been some who say 5, but others who say 8, and usually it's one or the other rather than an inbetween number. I guess I could average it out, but that wouldn't convey it properly...
  11. Fixed that for you :) And so I'm not just being a total smart ass, here's what I'm listening to right now. It's merely ok so far, but one must keep up on these things: James MacMillan: Quickening
  12. Lol, yeah. I guess in a way it was very Anna Karenina.

  13. Career, setting myself up to eventually do something meaningful in this world, and always being a better person than the week/month/year before. (This was to be my answer before I read the thread, but I'm surprised how many similar answers there are, especially career)
  14. I'm also newly single, and also trying online dating for the first time in many years. 2. I will respond to nearly any message as long as the person who sends it meets basic criteria and seems to be someone I want to get to know better (attractive, intelligent, similar personality, etc). As many have already said, this has basically 0% correlation to the content of her initial message, and almost 100% correlation to her profile description and pictures. I'm not exaggerating -- I don't need to judge a mate on the cleverness of her "hello," I just need one of us to initiate a conversation that we can take from there. 3. I've found OKCupid and Tinder to be lacking, especially if you are looking for more than a hookup or very casual dating experience. I've found Match and Bumble to be for meeting more intelligent/professional and potentially serious connections.
  15. I'm sure marriages have ended for less...but for those people to admit that is why they ended it?