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gypsy stardust

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About gypsy stardust

  • Rank
    Core Member


  • MBTI
  • Enneagram
    5, Self Pres
  • Astrology Sign


  • Location
    Southeastern PA
  • Occupation
    Business Analysis and Quality Management
  • Interests
  • Gender
  1. You realize that of those women commenting here, all but Holli have raised or are raising children don't you?
  2. 6 of those 'others' are young children. Those children didn't ask for this situation. The situation is of her making. Getting a divorce with 1 dependent child makes like more difficult and more expensive for all involved. Getting a divorce with 6 dependent children is suicidal. If you think you don't have time to yourself in a marriage with a partner who is actually helpful (by her own admission) it is asinine to believe that being a single mother of 6 is going to give you MORE time to yourself. Trading in a purportedly sexually unfulfilling marriage for a guaranteed sexually unfulfilling single-mother lifestyle is pointless. If OP had 1 or 2 kids, I think she would be getting a far different response. Sticking around long enough to create 6 kids with someone then deciding that the marriage isn't working is irresponsible. Nuking a stable home environment for those 6 children you decided to create, and trading it in for a life of poverty in a hovel somewhere is an insane decision.
  3. Some of the worst teachers I've ever had were totally unpaid catholic nuns.
  4. Standing ovation! So much this.
  5. Yes. It's not "his" name, you changed yours. It's your name.
  6. Nope. You're not alone. Nuking your marriage with 6 young kids for some pie in the sky excitement is absurd.
  7. For purely pragmatic reasons, if you are in a professional situation where name recognition is very important, it makes sense to keep the name. Otherwise, it's a very personal decision. Personally, I don't have any desire whatsoever to take back my maiden name - I was glad to cut ties with my father and be rid of it. However, I couldn't say if I would feel the need to rid myself of my husband's name if we were to divorce - it has been my name longer than my maiden name was at this point. If I did, perhaps changing to something completely new would be in order.
  8. We do not have paid paternity leave in this country because too many politicians are interested in cutting taxes for the rich rather than investing in social programs that would better the quality of life for the other 99%. tl;dr GREED
  9. I have said this already, but since you either can't or won't read. His BASE OFFER was 25% higher than what was offered to me. He negotiated higher. Yes I negotiated and got a small bump. He was able to negotiate a bigger bump on top of the higher offer. He left the company. He came to me and asked what I was being paid an in-depth discussion ensued, after his original response of "Oooof! Get a raise! I was getting X". There are no perks for either. No vacation, no sick time, no benefits whatsoever. Though, when he gave his notice and they were trying to keep him, they tried to give him PTO - too little to late, as he put it.
  10. His OFFER was 25% higher than what was offered to me. He negotiated above that. I am still very good friends with him even though he's left the position. In fact, he's the one who brought the subject up and has been encouraging me to fight for a massive increase. He even admits that I am better qualified and got screwed.
  11. {{{(((Gyp's)))}}}

    Blessings xxxxxx :wave:

  12. I am currently - as in TODAY - fighting to re-negotiate my contract after I found out that the guy hired the same day I was, for the exact same position, was being paid 29% more than I am being paid. 29% let that sink in a minute. That means I have been working for this company for 3 years, but have only been paid for 2 of them. This, in spite of the fact that I have: More overall work experience A master's degree to his bachelors Two professional certifications to his none Direct experience with the program we were hired to support - he had none Direct experience implementing software rollouts - he had none; including a rollout of the very program we were hired to roll out I have gotten an immediate 11% raise and I'm now fighting for the rest. Even if I get the full 29% - I am STILL behind and will never actually catch up. Don't talk to me about pay discrimination being bullshit.
  13. ROFLMAO! Right! And, while we're at it, women aren't paid less than men for the same work (or flat out not hired at all), and women of color even less so than their white counterparts.
  14. Oooookaaaaay. If you say so. I think there are easier ways to get 12 hours of alone time a week if that's what will satisfy you. I doubt it will. I also doubt that is the reason you want to divorce. Be honest about that. To yourself.
  15. If you can't get your husband to give you an hour of peace a week now - while you're married, and he has a vested interest in keeping you at least moderately happy - what on earth makes you think he's going to actually give you (a measly) 12 hours of peace a week when he's no longer even remotely invested in keeping you happy?