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About yoginimama

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    "Man, am I ever happy the overt oppression has morphed into subtle, insidious little performative, linguistic modes of oppression." -- zibber
  1. I remember the fear and trepidation I felt asking my then-boyfriend, now-husband what his ethnicity was. I was so afraid I was going to offend him, but I was really curious because he had the color of a light-skinned black man but the hair of an Asian man and the features of an aboriginal (which is what he turned out to be). I asked as politely as I could. I think I phrased it as "What is your ethnicity?", because that's what I said to a woman back when I was in 8th grade who posed a similar puzzle to me. (She was very amused by my cautiousness and politeness and said other people would just go up to her and say "Yo, you mulatta?") Fortunately he was not offended and everything turned out fine. EDITED TO ADD: Actually I misspoke by saying his hair seemed Asian. As I think about it, Asian people actually have softer hair than he did. His hair grew straight up, then bent back, and it was pretty stiff. I'd never seen hair quite like it before.
  2. When it comes to drinking, there is no wrong reason to stop. By all means, allow your concern for your looks to drive you here. I think, however, that wanting to find this "healthy, reasonable level that will allow me to live without regrets" is a fantasy. You already describe failing to control your drinking once it starts. The only sure way to be safe is not to let it start at all.
  3. OK. Didn't mean to touch a nerve. I do think having a degree will be an arrow in your quiver that could help you meet your BHAG, but if you see it otherwise, then you see it otherwise. Good luck and I hope you succeed, because poverty is a scourge on mankind.
  4. Are you sure you're not having a manic episode? This epiphany came to you fairly recently and you talk about it in vague and grandiose ways. Have you been sleeping? Eating? You might want to pop in to see your doctor just to make sure you're not becoming bipolar. ...... added to this post 2 minutes later: 1) What was your grade on this paper? Did you get any comments on it? 2) Again, you're taking a vast and highly complex problem and talking about fast, immediate, arbitrary solutions, which suggests your thinking right now is grandiose and unrealistic.
  5. There's a whole world of anti-poverty initiatives out there that you can work for as you develop your plans. You will be more attractive to those nonprofits with a degree than without one. I strongly advise finishing your degree so you can find work in the field.
  6. I'm not talking about your salary, I'm talking about your qualifications to do meaningful work in the field. That's what you want, isn't it? How exactly do you envision your actual work? What specifically do you plan to do?
  7. It's the difference between having a college degree or just a high school degree. At least in the States, you are way better off with a college degree. Do yourself a favor with potential employers and get your degree.
  8. Finance is absolutely NOT useless in what you intend to do! Finance plays a direct role in the creation and maintenance of poverty! If you understand finance, you will understand a key aspect of why people around the world get and stay poor. Remember: economics is a zero-sum game. They claim it's not, but it absolutely is; in the US alone, the 1% have skyrocketed while wages for the 99% have stagnated and even gone down. They got what we lost. This is due to policies, and a lot of those policies were driven by the agenda of Big Finance. Understanding how that world works can help you understand how to eradicate poverty.
  9. This is not a good decision. It will hamper your future efforts to eradicate poverty. You need to be at your most competent, you need to understand the late-capitalist system as best you possibly can, in order to help fight poverty effectively. You need those credentials. And you're so close to being done. For the sake of your overall plan, stay in school.
  10. We had some neighbors we were friends with but then they moved away. Everyone else is very quiet, keeps to themselves, we wave and smile when we see each other, once a year there's a neighborhood cookout and we go and have a pleasant chat with everyone.
  11. I definitely believe America would be a better place if we were all middle class, but unfortunately, the example of the Nordic countries shows that it takes more than broad equality to hold political extremism at bay. The right is on the rise in the Nordic countries, especially Sweden, which I believe is the most equal country on earth. In their case, it is because of immigration--something on which America was founded.
  12. France instituted public nursery school because of exactly this concern about bad parenting, but even they don't start until the kid is either 3 or toilet-trained, whichever comes first.
  13. Actually, when children are very young, their happiness around a parent IS evidence that it would be best for the child. Very young children are simple creatures. They have a lot to learn about the world, most of it being hurtful to their developmentally-normal egotism (sharing, waiting your turn, etc). It is better to learn these lessons with someone whom you love more than anything. Parents are ideally suited to teaching a young child that they can't always have everything they want, but they can always have the parent's love.
  14. A five year old is a very different animal from, say, an 18-month-old. So no, I would not stay if my daughter whined for me at school, and I would not see a contradiction there. I fully concede your point on the day care anecdote. Sloppy thinking on my part. Obviously a parent cannot be with a child all the time and there are times when the kid is just going to have to miss their mom or dad and that's that. But daycare is hours and hours out of the day, day after day, week after week. That adds up to a significant time away from both parents/either parent, and at a very young age. I still think it should be avoided if at all possible.
  15. I don't want to add guilt to the mommy wars, but once when my daughter was around 18 months old we were in the park together when a daycare group came. (The kids in the daycare group were about the same age as my daughter at the time.) When the daycare kids grasped that I was my daughter's mother, they started crying for their own mothers, and the caretaker had to try to calm them down. It made me very sad, Kids in daycare are not happy, they would rather be with their mothers. They feel that women who work are denying their children a mother. It's not me, it's them.