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About yoginimama

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    "Man, am I ever happy the overt oppression has morphed into subtle, insidious little performative, linguistic modes of oppression." -- zibber
  1. Sure. Your basic type (the first number in your example) is the one in which you scored highest. In your case, right now that's both 1 and 3, so I would suggest either taking the test again or trying a different Enneagram test--there are a ton of them in the "Online Tests" subforum. The second number is your "wing." (Hence the w.) So let's say you had scored highest in 3. Your wing would either be 2 or 4, whichever one you got the higher score in. In your case, that would be 4, so you would be a 3w4, a three-wing-four. That means you're a three with a little "four flavor" mixed in. It creates a distinct subtype. If you want to go deeper, I suggest reading Riso and Hudson's "Discovering Your Personality Type."
  2. Spaghetti with my semi-homemade meat sauce tonight.
  3. Good point. I will remember that.
  4. I think intellectual curiosity is in short supply at workplaces because the pressure is always on for results. Are there other ways you can satisfy that need, such as book groups, online discussion like this forum, or a church? In the US, at least, Presbyterians, Episcopalians and Unitarian Universalists are known to skew intellectual.
  5. Somehow I overlooked this and only saw it when scroses quoted it. Sorry about that. If I went looking for supporting evidence, I could never read Keirsey (for example, his assertion that Artisans tend to marry Guardians in high numbers) or Myers-Briggs. None of them give what I think of as evidence. They make assertions that either make sense or don't. Having said that, you're still right--had I looked further I would have seen that the author was basing her "love types" on functions, which I don't believe in, and wouldn't have started the thread.
  6. I second listening to music. It's surprisingly absorbing, while not being taxing.
  7. Yeah, I think you're right. I think so, yeah. Yeah, my husband feels his parents can be PA too. I don't think it's blatant or anything, but then I didn't actually grow up with them.
  8. I see it as shorthand for, "I would really like it if you would do X, however, if you don't want to, I am willing to negotiate." Saying "Will you please do X?" doesn't have that extra nuance. My husband didn't care about that nuance, he took the remark at face value--do you want to do X?--and informed me that I was never going to get a yes from that. I had to say "Will you." Which honestly struck me as a little weird because what does "Will you do X" really mean, it means WILL YOU, i.e. do you will to do X," which amounts to the same thing. But it seemed pedantic to insist on that so I just switched what I said. He perceived a difference, so that was good enough for me. OK, I can see that.
  9. OK then I'm not the only one. Good.
  10. It was brusque. He was done talking to her, he had things to do now, she should get out of his way. OK. I see "Do you want to do this?" as being perfectly direct but polite, because it suggests that if in fact you DON'T want to do it, you should allow that to be a factor in your answer, whereas "WILL YOU please do this" does not take the person's feelings into account. By indirect I meant saying something like, "Oh, you know, my mom is coming into the airport on the 15th, and it sure would help if someone went to get her." Or "You know, my mom gets in at 3 on the 15th." And expecting the person to pick up on that and see it as a request to them to pick mom up.
  11. He's always tested as INTJ. And he is very direct. Today, our Feeler daughter objected to him telling her "Get out of my way now" when he needed her to move, rather than framing it like "I need to get by here" or "Excuse me" or some other more polite formulation. ...... added to this post 3 minutes later: Ah. That's a problem OK, sounds good.
  12. You know, maybe I'm describing it wrong. I don't remember ever having a discussion where I specifically said "Will you be the one to pay the bills?" once we merged our finances. It just kind of happened, it seems. If you're asking whether I use "feminine wiles" and give little hints like, gee, there's a bill on the table over there, that's not how I operate. I'm more direct than that. Although I was, in fact, not direct enough for my husband's preference. I would tend to frame requests to him by saying "Do you want to do X?" And he would say "My answer to that question is always going to be no. If you want me to do something, say 'WILL YOU do X.'" So I learned that. Yeah, exactly.
  13. Oh, I take care of things for him that he doesn't like to do, like making phone calls. But it looks like you're saying those particular questions--"Will you handle things? Will you make my life easier?" would not in fact be coming from an INTJ at all? You're arguing that the categories themselves don't match the types they're supposed to represent? The INFJ one includes "Will you acknowledge and take care of my needs," so there's arguably a dependency component for the NFs too as well as the TJs. So you're arguing the questions themselves are wrongly assigned to these types?
  14. Ok, the consensus definitely seems to be that I'm an INFJ. I hear. But then someone posted this link abut the different ways that the MBTI types ask "Do you love me?" and "Yes, I love you." The author separates the sixteen MBTI types into four groups, "Harmony," "Authenticity," "Effectiveness" and "Accuracy." INFJ goes into the "Harmony" group, which has a list of the ways INFJs ask "Do you love me?" and the ways they answer/demonstrate "Yes, I love you." INTJ goes into the "Effectiveness" group, which likewise lists the ways INTJs ask "Do you love me?" and the ways they answer/demonstrate "Yes, I love you." The thing is, for me, I didn't relate that much to the "Harmony" group's questions and answers. I related much better to the "Effectiveness" group's questions and answers. One of the questions INTJs allegedly ask to find out if someone loves them is "Will you support my goals and be self-sufficient?" I LITERALLY ASKED MY HUSBAND THIS. I sat there and said "Will you support my dreams and goals?" And the other questions--"Will you handle things? Will you make my life easier?" are not questions I asked him verbally, but subtly through actions, nudging him to take over the finances and taxes and things that I found overwhelming. It makes me feel very loved that he does those things for me. Similarly with the "answers" section, I didn't really see myself in the Harmony/INFJ group. I saw myself in the Effectiveness/INTJ group ("I will educate myself on you, I will take pride in you, I will protect you.") So now the question is: are these groupings actually accurate? Is it true that INTJ belongs in Effectiveness and INFJ in Harmony? And if so, does the fact that I relate more to the Effectiveness/INTJ group mean I'm INTJ after all?
  15. Well, you're in the right subforum :) If you're just getting started, descriptions of the basic MBTI personalities are widely available. For example, here's a thumbnail sketch of each of the types. Going deeper into typology, this forum is roughly split into two camps, the functions people and the dichotomies people. @reckful is a dichotomies person who has who has written extensively on why he prefers dichotomies to functions. (Dichotomies are I vs. E, N versus S, that sort of thing. Functions are more complicated.) Reckful has also written extensively on the dichotomies themselves and I recommend his posts. Reading some "type me" threads ("Am I INTJ or INTP?" for example) should also give you a sense of how people on this forum view the various types. Hope that helps.